Sunday, September 30, 2007

Another View of Work

-I hafta leave, quit, get a transfer. Something!

-Pudding Inspector best job I have.

-I don’t wanna hear it! Proof is in the pudding? Haven’t found a fuckin thing!

-Shhhhh. We never do. But they pay us and so we shut up about it.

-Well I still...

-Hey, I can get you another buck an hour.

-Oh? Well...

-You’ll still never find anything. That’s the beauty of it. No surprises.
And at the end, a formerly nice pension.

-I’m glad we had this talk.

-My fault I didn’t make things clear every once in a while.

-That extra buck’ll get me a Nissan Versa!

-Which will take you where you wanna go!

Saturday, September 29, 2007

C-ommercial Dreaming

I see the crap I chuck
into the microwave

presented with love
to the compact, burnished

clan. Aw what the fuck:
Mom has just fled an
office where the boss is

a baby, her ass
appraised by accountants.

Friday, September 28, 2007

I’ve featured the views of South Philadelphia’s Rocco many times before.

Rocco and the History Kid from Penn

-Never had pizza delivered by intellectual before.

-Yeah, Rocco, okay. You’ve seen me grow up, so let’s...

-I’ll tell you, I’m never watching fuckin History Channel again!

-Something they said?

-Be clever and no tip!

-Well give me something or nothing, but I gotta get back.
Cellphone’ll vibrate madly soon.

-Some Army Mackenzie prick raids the Comanches in Palo Duro Canyon.
Most escape but he has his men shoot the horses. About a thousand!

-War material.

-Yeah, like Iraqis.

-Loaded example. I’ve been warned against you. We’re applying a more scientific view at the University.

-Yeah, whatever’s the newest fad. Listen, let’s go there, okay? We’ll fly
into some Texas city full of American-Shit-Architecture and loudmouths,
rent a car out to the canyon, and camp there.

-What for?

-To hear the horses, feel their spirits rushing past.

-Thanks but no thanks.

-What are you afraid of?

-That you may be right. Besides, they probably filled in the canyon with rubble and built ticky- tacky houses there.

-Then we’ll camp in the crap. The horses will still come. You can’t stop them!
-They’ve been stopped. All that stuff has. We live in science, not dreams, Rocco.

-Here’s five bucks for yourself. Someday you wake up and start to dream.

-Thanks. Call in another order anytime you want to be disillusioned.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

War Is Easy

you’re the one not dead.

air holds militant ditties &


tones of surly, sullen bells.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The Patriotic Paradox

Could they have picked a more remote spot for the conference?
Some of the business “leaders” even brought mistresses.

Sluts like hiking like anyone else.

And, excuse me, but all the flag waving! And you...cried during your speech!

Secret of politics, mean every syllable the second you orate it! Afterwards,
The Art of Compromising.

Yeah? Well, many of those business guys you “compromise” with ought to be cooling their asses in jail cells.

Just another paradox of this magnificent social experiment which is America:
those who steal the most, love it the most.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


Think you’ll go to Washington, huh? What makes you think your hick
hackery makes it on the National level?

I served on the Water Board.

What a patriot! (beats him w/ slapstick.) Say ouch like an Arab!


(pause) Not even close! (resumes beating, shouts) This noisy stick
is so goofy. To be really Right--that’s with a capital–-(stops beating) need a whip!

No! Or yes!

Monday, September 24, 2007

After Their Base Lying &

dropped-pants sleaze
& bribery and blood
lust, I’m obliged
to save lives in
Iraq, doing
I can.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

The Women Who Have Stupid Men

love & support them.
It works. Nobody re-
quired to die stupid.

Saturday, September 22, 2007


Thousands of hyphens perish in new Oxford English Dictionary*

Thus both Islamo-
& Repubican-


*Yahoo News

Friday, September 21, 2007

Mesopotamian Fable

A duck met a clusterfuck going down the road. Said duck to clusterfuck,
What are you exactly? You’re so shapeless, like black water rolling.

Move it, Quacko, or I’ll blast that little feathered dick right off you!

I get it now! You’re a clusterfuck!

We don’t like that term. And what we don’t like we...

I know, you kill, or threaten loudly. The beauty is you’re a clusterfuck
within a clusterfuck. It’s an aesthetic!

Uh huh. Well there’s work to do for fuckin freedom and all that shit,
so I can’t really chat.

I’d work like hell to lay you an egg to celebrate Iraq, but I’m the wrong sex.

Coulda fooled me. You look soft, like a woman. But, anyway, sayonara,
waddling asshole.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Seldom Is Heard a Discouraging Word

-So, retirement at hand. How much have you stolen?

-Millions, give or take.

-Mostly take!

-Untrue. Exchanges.

-That frank! Aren’t you afraid I might...?

-Off the record has always meant that with you. Besides, “stolen”
is one broadbrush term. I helped; many were grateful.

-And yet history will see you as a potent, unflappable, usually
principled legislator. Unafraid, outspoken. Patriot! One of the greats!

-Don’t see the anomaly.

-Did you ever send money back as coming from too
tainted a source?

-Never! I always just said I’ll do what I can do. That was often
a lot, but was sometimes nothing.

-God it’s so very befuddling!

-Not so! Train stop before this one is Boy Scout and Girl Scout Station.
Anyone welcome to get off there.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Yet Another Symbol of Enduring Republican Love

The offending car in held a family of three,
including a toddler who ended up being

melted to his mother's body

in the resulting conflagration.*

*story from Juan Cole

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The Name For It

-Another, Senator?

-Thank you but I'm adequately drunk.

-You were saying...?

-Too much fuss about this Pikers' Adventure! War?
We lost 58,000 give or take in Nam. Jesus H. Christ on a bicycle!
This so-called war will cease when Bush and Cheney's buddies
stop making money. And mine, I must add.

-Well, these kids who've been lost in whatever you call it belong to
John Q!–not to mention Iraqis murdered.

-Hey! We got it so far up John Q’s ass he better just worry about
not goin blind! As to the Arab spicks, fuck ‘em, plain and simple...
but move the violence away from the oil wells. They’ll end up financing
our campaigns here for generations.

-Is that the strategy of the RNC ?

-Is that what I am? Republican. I forget sometimes, just
like they do on the other side. When Hitler's armies marched
into France, some Fascist generals there couldn't wait to
surrender. Couldn’t wait! They itched for it! Like a sexual hunger!
Look around you. Millions await fucking in this country,
with or without The Constitution.

-That's treason!

-Which part? Never mind. A good name for it. All of it.

(probably no posts until 9/20)


There are three major wars going on in Iraq: 1) for control of oil-rich Basra, among Shiite militias and tribes; 2) for control of Baghdad and its hinterlands between Sunni Arabs and Shiites; and 3) for control of oil-rich Kirkuk in the north, between Kurds on the one side and Arabs and Turkmen on the other. -Juan Cole



(probably no posts until 9/20)

Memo From Your Lying Government

If you've read this far, you're a useful idiot and suckah!

We will continue to lie and you really can't do anything
about it.

Work on your impotence. Try jerking off.

MOST Sincerely Yours, etc etc

Monday, September 10, 2007


-I don’t believe in anything, Mr Campaign Manager. Executive Departments have fucked the Constitution when they could get away with it–-these present criminals merely the worst. And all this God-bullshit makes me puke!

Plus, lived with a succession of sluts.

-They’d say you’re the slut.

-And they’d be right!

-Uh huh. Well, vent is now officially closed. Speech writer has given me your announcement, including the Fox banner running under your pious mug:


-Truer words were never shit.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

An Actor Trapped

in a role appears
to shrivel with-

in itching skin,
mouth burning
to expel

bits of e

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Won't Suffer Fools

Hear that phrase
enunciated by some

as to themselves
and admired others.

So, no patience for
patently lower men-
talities? Just

saying something
girded by mono-

righteousness hard-
ly removes you from
the category of fools

yourself, many flagrant.
Any mouth and ego

not being talismans
for much of anything.


Friday, September 07, 2007

The Senior Man

Majesty asks: The women, who all these?

Wives and girlfriends, mostly.

Majesty asks where are there the whores?

At this kind of party, we...uh...converse and...uh...hors de oeuvres.

Majesty, he make the joke. Please to not have the derves and just...the awrs--like you have at begin you speak. It sound like whores, that word French—he make the joke. He many times the Paris. Why you no laugh?

I'll take over here, Trevor. Tell His Majesty we will soon have politics and cigars and whiskies–if his religion permits--and the women tea and endless chatter.

Majesty laughs.

I saw that. Then, I will take him to a truly wonderful, and most cultural place! Hey?

Our country too we have this, the how you say? Winkling?


Is very good!


Thursday, September 06, 2007

Short Conversation at Allied Dry Cleaning Plant, Cincinnati, OH

-Jesus! This tops even the usual stinks here.

-Uniforms for the parade.

-The serge is working.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Official Report

1/ I can’t stop laughing.

2/ They got nothing right.

1/ Are you sure? Haven’t got to the end yet.

2/ I’m sure. If I weren’t we’d face jail time.

1/ I don’t get the antigay paragraph. Totally unrelated.

2/ Yes, but let’s celebrate it at that new bent bar in Arlington.

1/ And what else can we do there?

2/ Not much, but we’ll share RR later, worth every cent.

1/ Unfortunate initials.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007


I had wine for my friends, but always brought something
for their two dogs,so I decided to stop at the New Super
Wonder Warehouse Store. Half out of curiosity.

-Hey! This whole aisle for dog biscuits?

This one and the next two.

-How many...?

Three hundred or so choices.

-These are little dogs and...

We’re not free to give advice. You’re in the charcoal section–I call it. Gives them nice breath.

-I could use a few of those myself.

I don’t understand. These, and the other two aisles, are
dog biscuits,Sir,for dogs. My hand computer lists
seven aisles for breath mints and antacids,401 to 408.

-I’d be exhausted before I got there.

Jet skates at the end of each aisle. Machine takes
dollar bills.

-This is as far as I’m going. I’m closing my eyes and
plucking one.

Oh Sir! That’s never recommended. You have free choice.

-Don’t need the propaganda,thanks. I’m heading for that
cashier over there. Guy in front has only a bathtub.

Monday, September 03, 2007

The Storm and Perfect Strategy

-How many in our plantations down there?

-Total of about seven thousand.

-We’re losing at least half, even as we speak.

-I heard...rescue train?

-I told them not to bother. It's my estimate tracks'll be ripped up. We're talking category five, are we not? Wave of twenty, thirty feet? Stand on a box down there, you're at the highest point.


-Budgetary considerations also. I Ruled a lot out, not just train. Any rescue
effort‘d cost million or so. Board have my head...and yours. Tough it out and
bonuses most generous.

-Chief, that’s some icy calculus!

-Oh yeah? Well that's why I picked you. Those words could've been put in recommendations from previous bosses. I’m not sure that’s truth in advertising.

-It is! So, sad about the deaths. How do we handle PR?

-By starting now! We're doing everything humanly, and humanely, possible!
Drum that! Tell the fairies in Public Relations to start beating–and I don’t mean their cocks. And don't stop! Also, they should get cholera backgrounders
ready to go.

-Excuse me.

-Piles of corpses. Torch 'em. Their halfass religion says they’re supposed to be returned to the hometown, but danger of disease will trump. A few cans of gas
and a match. You don't get more cost efficient than that.

-It all sounds clean, if horrible. But can we still get tagged?

-No way. There'll be a report, of course, and we'll
rewrite it. Way Cheney and Bush do. Well, first we'll
lean on individuals on the committee. Cheney wrote
that book! I’m saying that in managerial admiration,
not in the usual cheap sarcastic coin of the day.

-In...a way, sounds like those burning bodies really are pawns...
excuse the still-itchy conscience. I’ll still underline
everything you say.

-Well they are, and always have been. Hey! We didn’t create the world!
In the present frame, each death an act of God. Storm an act of God. Our retaining power here is actually in His interest. We do a herculean amount of good in this world, period! Questions?

-I understand everything. Sometimes wish I didn’t.

-Not quite. When you do you’ll be in this chair.
Until then, avoid going wobbly! Or even half, like now.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Female TV Panels

At best,humane
ly articulated;

at worst,henhouse
in shriek-mode.

At brassy worst,hair-
y balls emulators.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

American Mercenaries

There’s only that bunch out by the gate.

Who are they?

American Marines.

Tough shit. We gotta get past ‘em!

Let’s send emissary to explain.

Whoa! Fancy word! What fuckin book did you read? Open fire!

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