Saturday, May 31, 2008

Quo Captain Kangaroo?

Desire to kill serious time
(no flowers on the wall)
as my channels scroll by.

About 100, but 3 or 4 prof-
fer florid, ranting preacher-
assholes, and as many in

languages disapproved of
in Mainstream America. (Yet
they laugh and steamily love
through their linguistic disgrace!)

I’d grab anything about football.
Love of Quilting just rolled past.

Are there players who quilt? If so,
more than I can stomach, though

tape of their doing it‘d
lead all nightly newscasts.

Friday, May 30, 2008

When the Hugely Rich Guy Hangs Over You
& You Inhale His Stinks

“General Electric has never, and will never,
interfere in the editorial process at NBC News.”

Mayberry Machiavellis

got knickers in a twist!
Over a book! Its author
must be ravaged.

The lioness hunts. Oaf-
ish Lion wanders in for
choicest cuts.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Henry VIII & GOP

Why do they call you Henry the Eighth?

Who the fuck knows?

Were there seven before you?

Who knows? If there were they were assholes.

Still the great Republican?


How’s your boy McCain?

Fine, now that he’s running like a Republican!

What’s that like?

Like the nastiest sonofabitch on the planet!

You got that right!
Rocco has appeared many times before. He is a S Philadelphia Democrat who laughs at Republicans–a necessary, though not completely admirable, quality.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008


Sense of Common National Purpose For Congress*

Hard to achieve unless
bribes even up.

*Peter Hart

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

American Dish

It’s not really it.
Just looks like it.

Chef is very clever. eat it.

Ritual! Then we know
you’re one of us. Hey!

rewards here can be huge.
This first symbol is
not very much, really.

Monday, May 26, 2008

The Free Chinese

On a business channel,
amusement at the “crazy”
Chinese who have capped

prices at the gas pump.
In the Land of the Brave,
you’re free to lean over.

Oil execs plumped before
congressional committee.
Convenient. They could be

cuffed together and perp-
walked out. Imagine these

business channels then.
The hurt, the outrage!

Oh well, thieves, too,
need messengers.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Divorce Hearing

-She spends the whole day watching the Shoes and Hair Channel.

-And he “works”–so called!

-House a mess.

-He’d lift a finger?

-We moved from the old house because it got full of shoes. We can’t sell
it unless we clean it out, and it’s like they’re reproducing in there!

-Creative Writing! And he’s a sex brute! With enough kinks for a dissertation
in abnornal psych!

-There’s no sex. How could that compete with shoes?

-And FOOT-ball! You’d think THAT was the world.

-Instead of her HAIR!

Judge: I’ve heard enough. Divorce granted on basis of incompatibility.
Let the attorneys work out the financials and have a copy on my
desk inside a week. Then I sign off, and I do mean SIGN OFF!

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Indiana Jones

wrapped into kissing
blond in some clip
½ seen. Kissing

is not fleeing
1000 Nazis in-
tent on ravaging

your non-sexual ass.
Achieves smarmy art
form in Chick Flicks.

Should be banned
for adventure films.
Just a sop to ladies.

& mistaken one. They
desire the breakneck

race to blood, guts,
thunder as much.

More? Revenge
for dolls?

Friday, May 23, 2008

Political Impulse

-Well, she does have this bump on her nose.

-Oh my! It’s a very little bump. More like a...

-And she sputters when she gets nervous.

-I windmill! So what?

-Are you here to help or what?

-Or what. I’m an “Or What” person.

-Never mind all that posing. How about “Bump Nose sputters that
she wants to improve the cafeteria...”

-Uh huh. But...?

-I can’t think just now. You fill in the rest.

-With what?

-Use your imagination. For the first time.

-I get it! It’s like being back on the playground and becoming the mean kid!

-Chose any role you want. Let’s just get me elected.

Thursday, May 22, 2008


The Threat

Blistering op ed! “Why I’m Leaving the Party”

So I hear and do in whole disbelieve.

Party of Race, War, and The Rich, he accuses.

The Holy Trinity.

Never mind the wisecracks. How do you counter? On Race, say?

We’re itching to get started on this Half-Darkie of theirs!

Worst than I thought. And war and...?

(sings) You can’t have one without the other.

You’re pretty lighthearted about this.

I’m not worried. We’ve unified traitors before.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Sluts & Phrases

Both parties corporate
handmaidens, or hand-jobbing
sluts, not to put too dainty a point.

Republicans divert from their Masters
1%. Coy Dems about 3. Phrases retain:

Party of Lincoln; New Deal. Etc.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The Imagination Group

Well, we can win the war! Just came down from on high.

How do you define win?

We don’t define anything. Your job is to pack the horseshit into the box and...

Throw in some God. Make it like rape...with hymns.

No, wrap it in beautiful paper. With ribbons!

Ah those ribbons, the female role. I can do it! Oh the pride!

Oh the horror! I’d like to strangle all my Creative Writing instructors.
Could’ve majored in Sewer Engineering!

No difference.

Monday, May 19, 2008


Well, old Senator had “Seizure.”
Evacuated by copter to...We
know the drill, nothing

left undone in Million-$ Tech. In
Florida we have thousands daily

midst Emporiums of Trade. Take
a chair, &, if lucky, lovely

young woman pats your wrist
gives you water & teases you

to stick around. Anyway, it’s
a truly sweet final picture–if
that’s what it is. It, at any rate,

or you.

Sunday, May 18, 2008


GP’s Office

-Next is Mrs...

-Oh God! One of them again. I never know what to say...

-You may have noticed that I’m one of them.

-And a rare example. Without imaginary symptoms.

-You’re married, Doctor!

-To a mysterious woman. Or aren’t you all? Oh well, if I could’ve hit
a curve ball, I might’ve made it in baseball.

-And that’s all we throw?

-Just about.

Saturday, May 17, 2008


Roomies Looking for Roomies Eschew

“Drama Queens”--Jeez, they want more
of their own. American simmerers &
various cowards who won’t confront.

But will explode, eventually. And how!
Give those drama queens a second

look. Their thrusting out emotion
might be uncomfortable, but
a shortcut.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Der Alte

Old guy promises end
of Iraq war in ‘13.

Can’t wait for the parades!
Sousa beats on triumphant
drums! The Huzzahs! Working

on my Huzzah. ‘ll be something!
When it gets this higher chance
to mature.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Rocco & Irish Danny

Look at this magazine. Actress...well, from the movies anyway...shows tons of
plastic surgery. Jesus!

Skin on her face stretched like on my super-hard wang.

You mean she looks like a prick?

Yeah. One somebody painted a grotesque face on.

You’ve outdone yourself this time o vulgar one!

Fuck everybody!

Such cynicism’ll rot your pipes.

Fuck! I’m leaking from everywhere now!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Informal Debate

Republicans HAVE no principles.

Nonsense! I can detail ten right off the bat. Solid!

Do it then! Whatever they are, you’ve betrayed them.
And some among you know that to their very core.

Don’t be dramatic. It’s not a film with Jimmy Stewart.

Let’s hear these principles then. Start with ones not for sale.

Well now you’ve handcuffed me totally!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Rocco & Old Man Reading Newspaper

Trying to lock these ranting preachers around candidates’ necks.

Whack-jobs, but so were many prophets.

You saying these babblers are prophets?

Only the ones in stretch limos.

Rocco is Ambassador from S Philadelphia.

Monday, May 12, 2008

By the Numbers

A zillionaire paid for our Republican Boot Camp, seminars to re-instill basic values.
The first class was Tax Policy, nicknamed by the students, L-N. Low or No.

Later in the day, Government Regulation. P-N, they said. Plenty of Nothing.

Then after dinner, Financial Futures, tabbed H-T-S for How To Steal.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

TV Telescopes

Thus European Soccer Championships
run concurrently with diving competitions.

Those with picture-in-a-picture glimpse
Italian Academy Award performances, also.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

You play the clown

& pants fall down, in met-
aphor, très coy. When as-

sassins verge, or guts,
you'll join the circus.

Friday, May 09, 2008

In Line @Walgreens

At head of which, red-
faced woman furiously

dispenses coupons to
cashier. She’s coiled for

argument & gets it. (Perhaps
expirations, or trying to
mate with wrong products.)

The seven of us behind frit-
ter...until the manager gets
paged. Then the endless, spit-

ting & querulous parsings with
him. No one in line says a thing.

We don’t even bleat. Ten
minutes pass. In

some infinite realm of mercy,
Cosmetics’ register opens
and I streak there.

As I finish, the woman
has finally reconciled, trans-

ported to Bargain Valhalla, her
eyes twin fires of triumph!

The person behind her,
a Vietnamese woman,
drops a few words

which strike as daggers of
ice, the offender sneering back,

but off-balance nonetheless,
gathering her spoils. No wonder

there’s hatred of immigrants.
After finding traction, they

won’t eat shit. Americans!

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Ache of the Cursing Heart

Rocco Addresses Tuesday night poker, South Philadelphia, USA

Yeah I’ve been hearing it for almost eight years.
Lied into war, stolen elections, eavesdropping
on old ladies as part of the general terrorist bullshit...
mega etceteras!

And nothing gets done. The fucking of America
by Wall Street Pirates predates crooked Bush.

He and vicious Dick only perfected the art form.

When they die they’ll be screwed into the ground.

But that’s all trivial: Something has to happen to transform
chickens into men.

Or the new guy, too, ’ll stick it up your feathered ass till
your beady eyes protrude even more.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Important Name

Formerly of Congress, Chenoweth
held off western flight: refusing to
submit to pat-down search. Let’s see

the regulation! insisted she. Uh uh,
can’t, this law’s Secret! For con-

venience call it The Hit-
ler-Goebbels Law.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Kentucky Derby

“They killed her!” she screamed, “and slammed her door.”

She had built a kind of paper doll of Eight Belles out of
construction paper. She loves horses, but I don’t supposed
you noticed that.

I noticed it! I tried to explain through the door that they had
to put the horse down. No use. Can’t you go in there and...?

Let her grieve. It’s genuine.

Can’t we adopt a boy? I need someone on my side. Can’t win here.

That’s trivial. Life isn’t TV. You just can’t stand the sobbing. Guilt?

What the hell are you talking about?

You kill us! That’s what I’m talking about.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Female Taser Parties in Florida

Spokesman for the firm:
Nobody better ever bother

these hot ladies with
their hot fists.

“Excuse me ma’am, I’m
looking for Duval
Street? Oh my God!
What? Aaaagh!”

Torturing Humor

-Only one woman in the program. A special project.

-Shoulda been easy to waterboard. They got their mouths open most of the time.

-She was sorta advisor on suicide bomber fashions.

-You’re shittin’ me!

-Well, a few other areas we wished to know.

-What did...?

-Took her into hangar at Baghram. Backed her into spinning propellor.

-Oh my God!

-She didn’t peep, until...

-What? What?


-Oh fuck you! Too too old a joke. We’ve been dis-BRAINED is the problem!

-CIA requirement.

-Are you sure we’re not gonna pay for all this shit? Look at Hitler’s
home movies. All those guys laughing at der Fuhrer’s witticisms
looked like us.

-Much better dressed.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

The Trust

You sink into the 100-yr chair, inter-
viewing the VP hire three hours

straight. CEO expects meticulous re-
port, one you’ll spend a week at.

“You’re here,” he says, “for sagacity,
experience, a higher judgement!”
But it’s getting you

out of the way.

Friday, May 02, 2008

Friends of George*

-Hey we ALMOST finished it. The wrong toilets came. None of our fittings work.

-So, what did you do?

-We installed ‘em! What else?

-So you shit into a...?

-Container really.

-Even the Iraqis’ll wise up when they overflow with crap.

-Hey! They used to shit in ditches. We’re improving their lives.

*A lot of money was wasted on phantom reconstruction projects in Iraq left
incomplete because of poor contractor performance. In other words,
US tax payers made an involuntary contribution to Friends of George, which
would be a good way of summing up the Iraq occupation in general. -Juan Cole

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Guantanamo Quota

-I’m bringing it to you immediately. I’m not a sneak and figured
you should know.

-Yeah, well he’s a fresh one, with his pretty good English and little,
batty eyes of his.

-He asks and asks for it. I finally couldn’t help myself.

-Well, let’s keep quiet after this. Some people‘d like to throw both
of us under the bus.

-What I’m hearing.

-But...that’s the quota: you only get but one Up-the-Ass.

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