Monday, February 28, 2011


Dishonoring a Noun

His henchmen can't possibly subsist
on half-mil a year moans the banker.
& if we, triple-fucked USA, insists,

he'll lose this “talent.”
I use talent, say, to refer.
to the pianist who studies

at conservatory & goes on
through a series of demanding
teachers, until pronounced fit

to play in public. Such a person
deserves our support, not those

smashing the keyboard
with both fists during
masturbation fantasies.


Sunday, February 27, 2011

The Odd Demise of Certain Intellectuals–
a Soft-Boiled Detective Drama

-What’s story here? Who's this corpse?

-Former professor of ours. He helps us, has helped us,
with our startup company. I can't believe this!

-Believe it. Makes it easier.

-But how...?

-I'm betting he wasn't into the bookkeeping end of things,
or the manufacturing.

-No, the theoretical.

-Yeah, I thought so.

-Can you figure a cause of..?

-Yeah, I've seen it once or twice: vagued himself to death.

-But how can that be?

-It be.


Saturday, February 26, 2011

So stately his form, and so lovely his face

As little girls and silly matrons
genuflect, I can’t deflect their
adored pipsqueak’s name.

But switch whatever media
it’s slithering through. In

future, this shunning, im-
perfect as it is, will plainly
not be lawful. Big Brother

not only watching you, darkly,
but thrusting down your throat
the latest, awful Lochinvar.

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Friday, February 25, 2011

Comparative Political Larceny

-Our Limey Cousins cleaned out the moats of
their heavy contributors.

-That's no good. Gives the lefty smear sheets a field day!
Besides, Midwest tragically short of moats.

-And, as my mentor proclaimed: K. P. S.


-Keep it portable, and silent.


Thursday, February 24, 2011

Two Wags Analyze Badgers

-What's happening in Wisconsin?

-The Koch brothers and political fellow travelers
are grinding the face of the poor and middle class
and murdering the unions.

-That's all? People screaming about that little thing?

-What would you do?

-What all good Americans and Wisconsinites do!
Say "Yes, Massas!"

-You mean after you beats yoh feet on de Madisonian mud?

-One brother he say t’other: I don't care what nobodies say--

-And other he complete de thought: That’s Natural Rhythm!

-But first brother he say Nonsense! Anybody can do it.
Now watch me! It’s as easy as bribing Republicans.

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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Condo Board

-Using washer-dryer room for your unit is Tuesday. Yet you used the machines Monday.

-I moved in just a short time ago, and found I literally had nothing clean!

-Washer-dryer schedule was voted in unanimously. Did you not understand...?

-No one was in there, so I thought I could sneak in and–

-I’ve conferred with my colleagues and the sentence
is Death. Of course, you won’t be allowed to return
to your unit.

-I protest! And appeal!

-Not in bylaws. Sentence will be carried out by our retiree’s NRA chapter.

-Please! You can’t go this far. Absurd!

-Last fella thought that. He hanged up wet swimsuit
outside his window!

-Well that’s flaunting, whereas I just–

-Will you require blindfold? Minister is on his way from Arbor Building, Unit 5-E. He’s bringing video camera for your goodbye...give you chance to say something literary.

-I refuse to die this ignominiously!

-You got no choice. Without rules we have chaos!


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Future of Water

-Rotten eggs and...shit.

-Think...mountain steam, clean firs overhanging, snowy mountains reflected in placid eddies, ah!

-I can’t drink this crap! Can’t we get another?

-The chief beauty of Mountain-Stream Icy Elixir is that it’s the only brand available. Although the corporations and their Republicans have polluted all surrounding waterways,
we still have this marvelous source of...Nature’s...!

-Whoa! It just caught on fire, right in the bottle!

-Too bad you opened it. No refund possible now.
Go to the website, the test for combustability in unopened bottles only ten bucks--the technology is incredible!


Monday, February 21, 2011

Grandpa's Jew

-He's dead a while now. We didn't have to hear that!

-Well, part and parcel. We're an interesting family
in that he was in German army.

-Was he bragging or--?

-He was completely matter-of-fact guy.

-Yeah. Fact 1: Encountered ragged old Jew in
bombed-out attic. Fact 2: Begged me to shoot him.

-"I've stopped running."

-Fact 3: Your grandpa complied.

-Could be looked upon as mercy.

-It's all horror!

-I'm going to read. I'll try to steer the light
so it doesn't hit you.

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Sunday, February 20, 2011

Ever Closer To the Pure

-I could pack up and move to China you know!

-To save my ten percent increase? I'm just keeping up
with inflation.

-That's the trouble. But not just! You’re adding to it.

-It's always the same with negotiations. You bellyache so,
we can't move it along.

-I gotta lot to bellyache--!

-One employee running an entire factory of robots!
Try finding that in China or anywhere else!

-I suppose you want more vacation too?

-What vacation? Running the place through my laptop
in some dump of cracked toilets and stinking food? And surrounded by other slaves like myself on "vacation."
No thanks.

-Slave indeed! You can't stay away from the hyperbole!

-Well, we're negotiating.

-My stomach is shot dealing with you!

-I can't do anything about that. Do you want me to run
two factories?

-Funny you should bring that up...

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Saturday, February 19, 2011


Asking Joe Six-Pack

What’s Heaven?
Watching NFL forever!

What’s Hell?
Shopping with women.

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Friday, February 18, 2011

Legislators On the Ground

-How odd!

-That from the furthest edge of weird!

-Proudly! I mean that teachers are demonstrating.

-Why can’t they learn their place and relax enough
to enjoy being sodomized?

-Governor might call National Guard.

-A few corpses'd be good, but not martyrs.

-Some cops and firemen could picket in sympathy.

-Adding to the list of former Americans? The shame!

-Don't look anywhere for patriotism today.

-Blessedly, though, Labor is finished in this state!

-It's God's way.

-Well, we’ve destroyed enough lives for now.
Let's leave a few on the table.

-Agreed! I need ice cream.

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Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Hidden Amendment

A terrified pack necessary for they deification of obscene wealth, the rights of bribing Oligarchs are never to be abridged.

While running dogs rise on their hind legs
in a “backwards” swath of the restless planet,

midst yapping filth of legislative kennels here,
the Big Dog is worshiped, pampered thus
while lesser breeds get siced on each other.

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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Changing the Game

Prez throws dinky curve
from off his shallow hill &
vocal opposition gets

tied up. It's nine-inning contest
& they've come back before, but
not from looking this silly.


Tuesday, February 15, 2011



the rational serves
a bit

till things go
from bad to worse

courtesy of The Imp
of the Perverse.*

*E. A. Poe

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Monday, February 14, 2011


Surveillance Team

-Did we get on the cool side of the senator’s firewall?

-Piece of cake, but it's totally boring rightwing boilerplate:
We're exceptional and God better watch his shit!

-How about personal?

-Via cell phone. Two. One for business and ball and chain, other dedicated to mistress.

-Cagey. That second may be tough nut.

-Not a problem. Either one. Old bitch gets platinum watch with gold tennis charms along the band for birthday, which is under same sign as young bitch.

-How sweetly astrological! And other lady? Incendiary panties embroidered with the names of Republican heros?

-Same watch, but pink knick-knacky miscellany for charms, mostly tiny rockers.

-Outside of the fact that some jeweler owes him a hell of a favor...?

-Whole apartment pink too. Everything Sears sells that is pink.

-Charming! I’m trying to ask if he spills any state secrets to her.

-Nah. He’s just perpetually giddy. Especially when she wears her old Catholic schoolgirl uniform.

-So we’re spending hundreds of thousands to keep tabs on a horny idiot?

-What made this country great.

-I’ll inform the director as to the Catholic angle. He might employ a bit of budget blackmail.

-Another thing that makes...

-This work makes your mind decay. Pluck another string on that guitar!

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Sunday, February 13, 2011


When you turn

to a someone not there
to say of the film “What

a surprise! This plot twist
showing up."

Thunk goes the resonant air,
but you've chosen this life.

The difference between alone and
lonely conflicts a body at times.

So what? Like some cheese
with that whine?


Saturday, February 12, 2011

"He quit modeling."

Profound news via
Butterfly Effect.


Friday, February 11, 2011

Watching Watchers

Look! Will you please roll down the window? Press the button there? I know what you're doing here! We have something to talk about. Good! Thank you.

Now I've seen you with notebook and that nifty telephoto camera--wanna ask you about that beauty. Anyway we're both in the same business.

I won't tell you which of the two I'm surveilling, and expect the same of you.

What you might want to know, in addition, is that two other shamuses are on the case and might be in other parked cars. That Doggie Dip van's suspicious to say the least. The very obvious is not obvious? Anyway, one detective is even an industrial espionage guy!

He can’t be after Asshole making the romantic toast over there. Though slick as owlshit, just another horny dentist. And candlelight doesn't flatter him! Grease popping out all over.

On the other hand, Pale Pretty Thing works for GE and could reveal some revolutionary ice shaving design at climax.

And there's also a woman detective! Almost forgot. I don't know WHO she's watching. Well...yes I do, and don't have to keep the confidence. She blabs at bars.
The mistress employed her.

Not the one in our field of view, sucking in oily compliments,
and champagne, but another. Romeo Root Canal cheats on
the mistresses also. So what else is new?

Get another grip ‘cuz there could be a lesbian angle as a bonus--stop me if I'm boring you. Both mistresses, uh,
know each other, and have been observed at faggot
watering holes. Straights go there too, so weak evidence
for the time being.

So, bi-triangle? Plenty of those. Some quartets.

But, I'm stopping. Getting dizzy in all the human complexity. Whew!

To the present! Both mates out of town, in a fortunate convergence of the stars, and our couple will snuggle
under the same comforter tonight. And shake the condo's very walls with prodigious fucking. The Painter of Light might just fall off the walls.

Anyway, a business proposition. I'll have one of my young squirts watch the apartment while the mortar grinds between the bricks, and'd like us to meet at Leaky Larry's down at the river.

Listen! Thirty years in this business has given me a dirty mind--excuse all the past vocabulary--though I had a head start to be sure, what with the seminary, army, and
police force before I hung out my shingle.

And the sem is not a joke. In the interest of full disclosure!

I'll get the others to Larry’s too--got their cell numbers through a buddy--and let's work out a schedule that's more efficient. May be impossible, since one of us could slant any report to our individual client.

But we at least could keep it to two operatives at any one time, each representing one of the parties. That may not work either. Where would we put industrial espionage guy? He's not interested in screwing around, except corporate. Big-Time only!

Well, let's talk about it later, and around it, not revealing what we shouldn't, and at the end of the night, reading between the lines, I bet we can agree on a labor-saving schedule.

Nice to have seen you up close. I think we're involved in a record here. Two cheaters and five watchers! At any rate,
my treat tonight. Got helluva expense account, no shit.

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Thursday, February 10, 2011


What is the sound of one hand greasing?

Prez wants leeway for polluters. His
underlings might be suaded
to feel, then see, then hear
a possible way.

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Wednesday, February 09, 2011


We all speak only in light now--

the one holdout, a professor at the Polytechnic who claimed
audible speech should be preserved the way things are
in a museum sentenced to lose his tongue.

The judge's opinion, while harsh, was brilliant, literally.

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Tuesday, February 08, 2011

All This Red-State, Blue-State Masks

Even in South Carolina, liberals
agitate for a fresh dawn over
the scarlet swamp. And in bluest

northern cities, insanely Free-
Market Libertarians crawl
the gouging bodegas. They

sanction such damage.

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Monday, February 07, 2011


Reagan, Neos, and the Whole Nine Yards

From calling a strike
to breaking one.

From pounding a CCNY
table for social justice

to gracing another at
Corporate HQ. Why

the coat practical-
ly turns itself.

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Sunday, February 06, 2011

The Church Performed

a surgical liturgical
and most followers
towed the line,

but rebellion flowered
in verbal Europe.

In America, guns
necessitated their use.

After, though, the seventh
skirmish, a truce

was sealed, embodied in
a new Article of Faith

mandating the holding
of opposite truths at once.

This combined with a memorial
service highlighting famous
musical groups.

Dead-enders unfortunately persisted,
heaping scabrous satire on believers.

Their leading blogger was assassinated
but his wife continued the blog,
adding recipes.

Her fried chicken especially

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Saturday, February 05, 2011


Tensions interlocking, he
counts breaths when told
it's a Zen thing. But re-

mains the wreck he’s
always been. His friends
accept it, and him, though

he plans to surprise them
next with a zombie-like

demeanor from the last
remedy he’s read.

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Friday, February 04, 2011


In the Tunnel

-You can stop worrying now. You’re dead.

-Oh yeah? Well who knows where they'll put you?
And with what creeps or seditious aliens?

-Buzz here is heaven full of liberals.
Their hearts were in it. Even though they just
went about everything in a manner that...

-Nobody'll be on time with everything half-ass!

-God’s notable softy, unfortunately. At any rate,
that leaves Hell!

-Be better than listening to girly liberals!

-Actually not bad. Forget the heat imagery–
that's just bad PR. It's wall-to-wall conservatives
trying to chuck out the least pure.
And doing it loud!

-Punch my ticket now!

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Thursday, February 03, 2011

Moving To China

-Project complete when Mr H in other chair sign.
But is what you call crank. And the outspoken.

-Good! I'm tired of going round and round
Robin Hood's Barn.

-I no translate Robin Hood, his barn.

-He'll get it from the round and round.

-Mr T has worry, environment. The many laws you broken.

-Hey! You can't put all your money in sucking out the toxins.
There's a risk in the process as there is everywhere in Capitalism.

-He's says you leave states after poison American worker,
and now want poison Chinese!

-I visit the factory often. Take a chance like everyone.
There are risks as I say! But everything gets overblown
when Democrats in.

-But he says now--I think change the mind--we have
the many workers.

-That's the spirit! Sounds like Confucius.

-He pleased by Confucius!

-All right then! Rock n’ Roll! Will that translate?


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Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Freshman and Leader,2

-Well, finally had a judge do as told, but your freshman class
can't stop blabbing about it.

-I thought that was good.

-Too many voices moshes up the message. Leave it to leadership now. And your biblical nitwits back home
have already performed their obscene dance
of celebration. Speaking of which, their intelligence
network--using the adjective loosely--has determined
you're not going to church.

-What with all the moving...

-Go! For show! Jam your eyes shut in apparent faith,
and sleep through the baloney. But go!

-Okay, yeah. Church is important.

-For reelection it is. But there's really only one
church is this town. You should refer to it as I do:
Church of Me.

-Kinda selfish?

-On the contrary. Never lets you down and
no sticky theology disputes.

-I’ll keep the faith.

-It’s easy.

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Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Freshman & Leader

-My constituents seem to like some of these
health care provisions.

-Kill the bill! Burn the corpse! Dance round it
chanting "Communist Conspiracy!"

-That would seem to settle that. Now about jobs?
Reason they sent me. Infrastructure a sore need!
And that would create...

-Talk that up to show your independence, but
we're stuck in a period of EFA till we dispatch
Monkey-Boy back to Africa in the Presidential.

-E. F...?

-Endless Fuck Around.


-Talk him up, too. Every opportunity!


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