Wednesday, February 29, 2012

BBC Interview of Virginia Anti-Abortion
Enforcement Group Members

I guess we must start with the controversies. As you might know, the governor is getting a document ready to curtail
your responsibilities.

Hey! Being Cunt Cops, there’s not enough to do.

Which is what caused you and Commander Lincoln here
and others to stop a Richmond motorist? He says you
roughed him up.

Well, Commander Polk did.

Makes no difference who. We got immunity. Polk just
wanted to make him a man.

Besides, we all chipped in and bought him a nice pink purse.


Now that’s ignorant. We say ghinny where I come from.

Moving right along....

You’re not spose to make the jokes. That’s our job.

Quite right, uh, accurate.

Let’s get to the orgy. You’re dying to.

Okay then, Roanoke Times called it a homosexual one.

(singing) When I’m not near-uh the girl I love-uve...

(also) We love-uve the boys we’re near!

All piddle-paddle. Who cares? This Twenty First Century for godssakes!

Queer shit sells!

What doesn’t is the much more important accusations of persistent Racism.

Stop there, Limey Person!

Yeah, but you did nail it. Persistent!

That ain’t our fault. We’re just Cunt Cops. Look! You hafta be the biggest fool on God’s Green Earth not to know that these are political jobs. My Daddy a State Senator and Linc’s there, Mega Contributor.

In a perfect world, they’d be co-auctioneers at Slave Market.

“What do you bid for this totally sexual woman?”

“Coal black if that’s your preference!”

Did they start with a prayer?

Nah! That’s now.

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Tuesday, February 28, 2012



Is it in hiding? Soon to flower forth in an old magnificence?

Has it been smashed down so thoroughly that we can't
expect it soon? And thus must we be patient?

Is it an abused child in a filthy ditch, thrusting forth
a dirty hand for a nickel?

What's your point, Counselor?

Simple! Where is Justice in this case?

Never use that fuckin word in these chambers again!

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Monday, February 27, 2012


Mamba Snake in Coffee Room

At least the dream offhand.
Dr L in last-gasp Freud-speak

pounces "repressed Homosexuality!”
Dr Y counters with “slithering Evil!”
But Dr P scoffs at their “Theological

lies!” His trump, the latest: “Nothing
ever means anything. Period.” Quoting

Duke Ellington’s “It don't mean a thing”
then--to lighten the explicator’s touch.

“And it most definitely ain't got no swing!”
2 wags add. Anyway, P’s approach fated

to lose in Academy life. They
simply won’t promote you:
be meaningless anyway!

Our Freudian, though, frets
not, what with clinical Texas
and Virginia probing vaginas.

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Sunday, February 26, 2012

What Once Was Said

(Initially while charging Umpire) It’s a game! Baseball!
Heard of it?

I’m acquainted.

Got rules! You don’t make it up. It’s not fuckin
Alice in Wonderland!

And would you be Alice?

You had a mouth on you when you was a player–-
to use that term loosely.

Well now I’m an umpire and you can use that term
any way you want cuz YOU’RE OUTA HERE!

I’d recommend eye doctor but you’re too stupid to read the fuckin chart!

All going in my report. Hope you got fat wallet.

MANAGER (while players drag him off in dust cloud)
...fat HEAD!

I’m guessing you just passed ten thousand bucks!–-
not to mention my just awful hurt feelings.

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Saturday, February 25, 2012


Victorian Author

-So how are you getting on, clean little person?

-Ever so prettily, Sir or Madame. Your story is wonderful,
full of such lovely places and bully people! And talking trains
and animals. Fairies that disappear and come back the very
next moment!

-Enjoy it while you can, for soon you'll be slapped with
a wet-mackerel moral

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Friday, February 24, 2012


Fear Obama!

Marxist! This
from the fascist

horrors on
American Radio.

(To the pros, he’s

opposition being mostly

though, sucking up to
a furiously insane base.)

At any rate, these rank
“shows” have sponsors.

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Thursday, February 23, 2012

Power and Scattered Sugar Pacs

X finally promoted, how
he asserts himself
in the coffee room!

We thought temporary,
soothing old bruises,

but soon, the Mussolini
chin thrust. Now has

list been posted de-
manding we clean
up our acts: too solo

for order. After
Luther, what?

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Wednesday, February 22, 2012


More Things Remain the Same

Celebrity buys it: un-
der crap-mysterious

circumstance. You
preceded, big toe
sporting tag. So,

your routine lab work
tossed aside. Thus...
chilling much longer.

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Tuesday, February 21, 2012


-Got me one bent dude
lost nearly everything!

Owner helped get ‘nother
n’ he’s fuckin up what’s

left! Plus suckin all new
stuff for hisself!

-Yeah, but let’s put our
minds in the game!”

-I just fuckin can’t!

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Monday, February 20, 2012


Chuckie the Center

blows out both knees after
two years, switches to academics.

Highlight reel: Microbiology's Meershim:
“You'll get these unknowns if I must skip

dinner! Mrs M a Kraut too, but assembles ex-
traordinary lasagna! Your own assembly too

sloppy, but if you ever acquire technique,
you'll hear singing. Everything, deep down,

is art.” Mrs Leonard in English hits the same note:
“We call it Composition. Not smash-together!”

Memory of young math prof. Fuzzier. Taciturn save
when filling blackboards in chortling frenzies.

And now the Athletic Department, which shunned
when he went studious, elects him to its Hall of Fame.

He stares at the wall where Jilly has removed photos
and banners and highschool awards. Cleaning.

But she leaves for the last time, taking
her old cheerleader stuff. Lately, he tries

math apps on his tablet. He can answer
many problems by a sort of rote, but

how others fall to surprising intuition!
On the plane the Captain proves a woman.

Ends her staid routine with a wisecrack
re wastrel brother to a sparse audience.
He sprawls in back and whispers, "Well,
in my case, half a man better than none."

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Sunday, February 19, 2012

The Speech

Though L didn't like giving the speech to girls, he was
next when the occasion came up at the country club.

Intelligence had revealed that agents listened to girls
primarily, their news of boyfriends giving many clues
as to troop movements.

“Ladies,” he began, “it's a simple enough message:
Loose Lips Sink Ships. Was made famous in World War 2.”

“They're numbered! I thought it was a perpetual state!”
moaned Lisa.

“Plenty of time for questions after!” he told her.

But she and Gwen never stopped chatting, newly impelled
by the sight of a young man on the putting green.

“See! I told you! Cutest butt ever!”

It was as if the young man knew they were watching-–
much leaning and stretching to retrieve golfballs
from holes. Gwen and Liz emitted sucking sounds
and said he was murdering them.

L soldiered on and finished his talk. There were no questions.

He gave an account when he got back to the office. Dr T
announcing "Hey! I had three girls and they were empty
heads for a good while. Then...overnight! And some have
driven everybody crazy in the silly phase, but then led
rebellions to shove Dad from the top slot in the firm!”

“Nice. There's hope. the name of this young man who perfects his game while others fight and die.”

Dr T read the scrap of paper and crumpled it up for his
pocket. "We can’t go there. Nobody can."

"But Sir, this kid...!”

“Stop there or you'll sound like the enemy. They DO
take it to extremes.”

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Saturday, February 18, 2012



And if you're good
I'll search for wood.

One element. Let's
add looming love.

But the sort
not comfortable

when there's dust under
the bed. Takes all kinds.

Lil traveled with
a vacuum but

was flying
apart then.

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Friday, February 17, 2012


Citizens United

Everyone knows it's wrong
and that fascist shitheads

on the Supreme Court
are carrying the day.

To understate.

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Thursday, February 16, 2012


When the Revolution Peters Out

Oh, massacres still inflicted
on Left, Right, and Innocents.
Not, though, with requisite spirit.

The Rich, who had joined their
money in the Caymans, return

to buy each side. Senate recalled on
proviso that bribe-taking less ad hoc
and more coherent. House, who had

purloined in even greater chaotic
measure, invited to stay home.

The Supreme Court has died--
God bless them every one!--

in the dilated struggle. GE
insists it remain thus.

Packing a bag in Jackson,
Senator Hilbo laughs
"Tits on a bull anyways!"

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Wednesday, February 15, 2012


Washington Ritual

bespeaking near-exhaustion
when Chair and Vice aver so
much hard work performed

by each other. Of a higher order
of toil, of course, than plumber Hortie

and apprentice wrestling a waterheater
of a broiling August into the Achuff’s
crawlspace. As is the reward: legislator

boarding contributor’s private jet for
Kenya, there to rack up meat and
a coal black slut. Both worked into
the same story for the crackers.

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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Widows and Orphans-–a Speculation

-So you bet on their eviction?

-Into the snow and ice!

-And you relish it!

-More if a huge truck flings by and throws up
frozen mud!

-Just deserts in your mind?

-The widow married a weak fool and taught the children
to revere his shoddy memory!

-Well, let's leave them in metaphor, still huddled!

-Let's not, for I'm also wagering that the Goody Two Shoes
of the church will rescue them. Warm food and beds!

-So you also make money from hope?

-I don't really discriminate.

-But the times they can be most volatile!

-Yeah! Thus the more I don't hedge. I plunge!

-It could end up you out there freezing and shattered!

-Then I would await the church ladies and steal their
pretty purses.

-How can you live with yourself?

-I just keep on betting I can.

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Monday, February 13, 2012


GPAC, the fiercest con-

servatives meet up in
DC (where the 25-cent tip
reemerges from the vault.)

Overlap, of course, with GOP--
(though it’s hated periodically for
the few vilely RINO outriders. Kept

out by Bible Roarers, thank
The Lord!) When Republican Con-

vention lured NYC, pimps bought
their whores roller skates.

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Sunday, February 12, 2012


Many women talking

jars the universe, yet
girls mid forests,

laughter skip-
ping trees and
static ponds, have

angels pausing
their sweet chords.

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Saturday, February 11, 2012


The Loner

-You've isolated when you should have knocked around
with all kinds of people. Now, a crisis. So you fall back
on principle or some other absurdity.

-Are you a psychiatrist?

-I have eyes.

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Friday, February 10, 2012



John Q clinks
quarter into
Little League can

& Loaves and Fishes!
it morphs 100x for

1040. Such increase
scorned by The Rich
as encroachment,

so clergy taught
to string it up mid
soft, apologetic bans.

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Thursday, February 09, 2012


Political Consultant, 2020

-One of each, hey?


-Aren't you afraid this bi-life will...?

-Not about me, but my mighty fortress, Mr Pure!

-The reporters are exhausting themselves trying to find...

-He came in after midnight once. Donut sugar on
his face, ukelele in hand. Been sailing with Sweetie
along Moonlight Bay.

-But the darkies aren't singing in your version.

-Nope, pressed the mute button.

-You should do the same with him.

-Not necessary. He just recites Mother-Country-

and Being Nice
! Plus, of course, Wife.

-Twin empty heads once they debarked against the
moon and into our political life.

-That's exaggerated. Why I passed him a lemonade
yesterday and he took it to his lips, not his forehead.

-This is a nightmare fantasy. There is no me, no bi-you,
no egregious halfwit of a future president!

-I'd pinch you but it would violate an oath.


Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Something Done at Board Meeting

“It's my outfit,” finally laughed Aunt Jemima,
“and I've a few things to say. Cease and desist
your Power-Point, Attorney Smerge!

And Tear down this chart! Mr Goring-Chuff.”

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Tuesday, February 07, 2012


Kissing the Blarney Stone

doesn't mean you go full
on from there. Stage fright
could bring terror, whence

you finally spew fragments
of nonsense. Or insult
render tongue-tied,

the gorge rising overlate
to excoriate vile malefactors.
During other events what

you think wit sets the room at
edge. And In matters of true love,

the signal might come anew
for a fast one, and you spin a-
way, a screwball. A googly.

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Monday, February 06, 2012

Rhetorical Rebels

told to mince

for those with
in mind.

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Sunday, February 05, 2012


A Process

When he chucks
his existence in-

to abstraction,
he understands it.

That, too, proves flat,
but no getting back.


Saturday, February 04, 2012


Like a blind horse, on

they plod at nothing
or at task.

Favorite song could be
Help Me Make It

Through the Night,
though they never ask.


Friday, February 03, 2012

New Ones

When C And G move into the neighborhood, some call
their house Faggot Ranch.

But they grow popular, walk their dogs and chat. And laugh.

Become civic minded. Not hard here: we only have
the June Fete.

They take charge of the Beanbag Toss and a crowd of
youngsters gathers.

I ask my Jeanette. "They treat us like adults! Not the
shit-condescension we get from you and your
despicable friends!"

"What do kids know?" scoffs Bicky. "Let the world smash
them up a bit and they won't take fairies for hobbies.
Besides, those lovebirds are Democrats for sure!
All Fruits are Democrats and all D-”

“Too wide a brush!” I admonish. (He's actually a great guy when not on liberals or Jews.)

“Fuck you with that brush!”

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Thursday, February 02, 2012


“Sup R Pac”

-Robot’s terrific!

-You think so? Great!

-How’d you come up with–?

-Since Supremes say we’re a person, we decided to run ourselves instead of pouring money into nitwits.
Charity begins at home.

-Every right to!

-Of course needed a spokesman who wouldn’t tire
of repeating bromides, nor get videotaped with
a live boy or a dead girl in his bed.

-Greatest nation on the face of the Earth! What does
the robot do for sex?

-We’re not there yet. We’ll eventually move in a girl
robot for him. But it’s hard enough now just to program answers for the wild yahoos attending Town Halls.

-Opposition have homo robot?

-What else?

-And is ours a right-to-work robot?

-Emphatically! But we can’t, of course, offshore him.

-No perfection save in Heaven.

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Wednesday, February 01, 2012



-Well the Great Man! Pink and full in form.

-Yeah a disappointment, I know. Normal male...
no more no less.

-No matter. They bow and scrape when you got
your pockets on!

-Many do. I don't desire it, but can't deny it either.

-Let's see now: the right pocket stuffed with Republicans.
And the left...

-It’s very nearly balanced out.

-But you prefer the right, yes?

-Only because they believe such utter shit.

-Do the Dems believe in nothing then?

-It seems that way since they don't suck up the bribes
with the same ecstasy.

-It’s not a bribe if you believe it anyway!

-Good point. So my Republican parasites really
more honest?

-Yeah. I guess. But leave us not get theological whilst naked.

-Nor to the marriage of true minds admit impediments.

-Playing against type now.

-I have to do something.

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