Friday, August 31, 2012


Write finis to GOP. Convention.

The tumult and the shouting slides,
the captains and their queens set out.

Visiting Whores report terrific outcomes
midst the less connected. Speeches

better this cycle, full of passion-
ate lies. Oh well, back home for

truly funny Caucasians. To wand
wombs and force some lazy

bastards off the dole. For
old Montanan, spitting high
concepts to a laughing horse.

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Thursday, August 30, 2012


Order From Campaign

“Ideas getting on people’s nerves. Time to cast a light!
Fetch a sinner from the list.”

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Wednesday, August 29, 2012


The Senator Explains

The Trio. "Hell, we
won't kill you!

Unless insisting on
obnoxious blather,

rather set you free to
pursue the slimiest buck.

But not to forget who
makes it all possible.
Mastercard or Paypal fine.

But cash preferred.
Even to women.”

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Tuesday, August 28, 2012


Nothing Ever Works

nor will,
but that

you sense
is our core

purring in self

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Monday, August 27, 2012

The Development of Man

Swiftboating proved lowest.
Citizens United opens

the sluice
to truth
as we know it.

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Sunday, August 26, 2012


Fledge Pledgers

Presently sending mild
emails full of babytalk

and animated hearts. In
greater gawks, infantile.

Name a pair not.
At least in part.

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Saturday, August 25, 2012


Wacky Bits

A Mormon employed to explicate
it. Annoyed in finally stating “Hey!

There are wacky bits
to every religion.”

Indeed so. And theologians fit-
ting them to a system rendering
the whole skatingly insane.

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Friday, August 24, 2012


Two Oldddd Senators

-The House sends over its claptrap!

-Since it's a Republican House...

-Then Republican Claptrap

-And when it's Democrat?

-Democratic Claptrap obviously

-And in the 2% event they get it together?

-Bipartisan Claptrap.

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Thursday, August 23, 2012

Round and Round

the Classical Sound
leaks classical gas.

So the young clamp
campified masks.

This bizarre dichotomy
scandalizes aficionados

till it becomes
the new normal
which then goes...

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Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Short History With Requisite Ironies

Upon his last divorce
the marriage counselor
threw it in, moving

to a studio in Pennsauken. (cue
Thousand and One Nights slide.)

Thousand TV channels, too,
hardly soothed him, reruns

of My Mother the Car sufficing
for the raw jail sentence he
felt deserving of. A cleaning

lady once a month set
him free to go into Philly

and a ball game. He’d
return somewhat drunk

and toast his exes before
wrestling sleep. Also,
Truth and Beauty. Personnel

honcho of Wawa Stores HQ
in Wawa, PA finally tabbed his
background as priceless in

handing disputes arising mid
coffee makers and cashiers.

The first day a flash flood took
his car and it couldn’t be found.

Trooper Kip Stoltzfus told him
not to worry. Couldn’t search all
the streams while it still poured.

Fire truck carried him to an AAA
motel across from Granite Run Mall.

Action News! sought an interview
but he shivered under blankets.

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Tuesday, August 21, 2012

The Epic of The Missouri Republican

I sing of Hillbilly Gynecology
and the Champion who, perforce,
must fall upon his sword.

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Monday, August 20, 2012


Two flee the catty Arts

for farming, real, dirt, not
Gentleman. Traverse mud-

dy fields for planting, bosky
dells for mushrooms. They

advance in this rough trade
when one, alas, passes.

Media dwells on former career and
mentions "long-time companion"--

no tough deal in the blue states. In
reds, a fact imagined like mosques.

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Sunday, August 19, 2012


Once relying on Health Store
nostrums, now on four pre-
scription meds. Latest,

after gastric-horror-night,
the TV-touted purple pill

delivering symptoms
intended to block.

Or in Country: Gives
yuh what’all yuh got.

Need move to deepest
West Virginia woods,

grinding herbs together
with a grannywoman

chanting up to the–-Wow!--

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Saturday, August 18, 2012


The Change

With your silly friends,
turning sillier even as
they look to you to hold

things checked. You must
release, though, making

lame jokes, concocting
as trivial gossip. Oh,

well, occasional, but THEY...!
Uh huh? Don't judge. Only

get ridiculous when
chances pop up.

Who’s not?

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Friday, August 17, 2012


The Candidates Speak

Darlings of Patricians
and, On High, those in
the religion rackets. Such

sly love from wackos unneeded,
for we can really afford our

own politicians,
and indulgences.

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Thursday, August 16, 2012


GOP Future

-So we rebadge as The Ayn Randian Party?

-Like, immediately!

-Sorta rolls off the tongue.

-We can jettison the Ayn. The old broad won't care.

-How 'bout the traditional Republicans and their Party
of Lincoln jazz?

-Marginalized, like him.

-And the Party of Moochers? Can we rebadge them thusly?

-Won't hafta. Evident to all fairminded men and women.

-We have those?

-Not many, thank God.

-So a platform of enlightened selfishness.

-Skip the enlightened. Not a highschool civics class.

-End government as we've known it!

-Let's not go crazy. She's got wondrous, thumping tits.

-We latch on to the Right one. How 'bout the Left?

-Why we suck so hard, other goes dry!

-After all’s said and done, I can’t tell you how
much I enjoy feeling like an obnoxious prick!


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Wednesday, August 15, 2012



-That's the first Pro-Business budget I've seen here!

-What about Grandma?

-Fuck her crumbling bones! Let her fuckin die!

-Thought we're gonna throw her under the bus?


-Or either?

-What are you wonking about now?

-Well, three alternative actually presented.


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Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Latest Wunderkind

drove a frankfurter
and quotes Ayn.

Marxists do with
mopeds or the like,

vehicles not foolish,
rather utilitarian.

Che had similar
but ultimately

snuffed by hotdog

still ruling the world
if you can bear looking.

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Monday, August 13, 2012


Mobility Viewed Fairly

The porch runs off the dining room at the club.
Four or five tables serviced by one waiter.

On the first shift, Stepin Fetchit; the second,
Hustling Mickey.

Mickey goes on to the junior college, university,
Medical. Interning in Anaesthesiology.

Stepin still fetchin.

Mickey's place is taken by Lilly White, a waitress
so pretty she'll snare a member.

Great! Part of the American Way. She’ll rule
The Dance Committee someday, origins
all but forgotten.

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Sunday, August 12, 2012


Tale of etc

The woman who didn't know
what time it was, and cared

precisely, consulted instruments
of the horological sort, but

they couldn't agree. Obsession
couldn't buy truth as she saw it.

Physicians summoned, one by
one. Finally came a genius who
transcended mere occupation,

bringing an atomic clock. "This
is more accurate than God,"
announced he. "What final good

is it to split hairs?" cried she,
"And then split the split

and so on." Old priest then
enters the learned melee.

"You can't be pleased by man
nor exactitude!" he thunders.

She answers that it’s no use
thundering when there's tea.
"The others are so cold,” she

informs, dealing
a Lorna Doone.

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Saturday, August 11, 2012


Youthe and elde oft at debaat

Youngsters spotlight
hypocrisy and hell-

ish lies of elders. Deny-
ing sin lurks within

acne-ravaged shells also,
they'll grow up nonetheless.

Demarcation line
being initial fish-
y look thrown by

a younger person at
totally fair utterance.

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Friday, August 10, 2012


The Subtext of Tunes

-(sings) I swapped my horse and dog for you.

-That went how?

-Not so hot. Missed them terribly.

-What did you...?

-Why, swapped back!

-And how did Sue feel about it?


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Thursday, August 09, 2012


The Board

-Hey! He's member of the board and allowed to speak.

-Stupid boyscout! Naive to the nth degree.

-Okay, what did he say?

-Gotta gather myself. Here goes: He he he says...

-Go on.

-(paralyzing laughter) says says says...

-Get a grip!

-(burst) that we should consider the moral dimension of every decision!

-I use the expression Total Asshole sparingly, but it's warranted in this case.

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Wednesday, August 08, 2012


Lying, Hypocrisy, Pose, Gall, Conceit!

Like we’re all innocent?
So what

that the politician
more magnificent?

When at the deadly
curtain, he thrusts
you from the spotlight,

God hears of his feistiness
and laughingly approves.

You’re brought up,
He nods absently.

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Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Senior Operatives

-Chief task is reigning in our Crazies.

-Don't you think what you call Crazies are
those who hold our core beliefs more deeply
and fervently? With greater fire! Just a question
of taste and dated decorum.

-No, I think they're fuckin crazy!

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Monday, August 06, 2012

The Particular Anxiety

laughs at efforts
to delay or hood-

wink. Hardly an
anxious laugh,
rather so patient-

ly knowing as
to doom
us anew.


Saturday, August 04, 2012


In a Down Time

-So fuckin bored I’m watching Hitler’s Hemorrhoids
on The History Channel.

-They bleeding yet?

-After the commercials: Gold and Testosterone.

-Get yourself a golden dick?

-That wouldn’t help. No woman wants a loser,
no matter how shiny his penis.

-I’ll come over after work. We’ll go to a ballgame.

-Yeah and sit in the lonely bachelors’ section.

-It’s a condition we can’t help.

-At least you work.

-You’re unemployed in a lousy time. Hardly your fault.

-Yes it is! As is most of the trouble in the world!

-That’s grandiosity. We’re merely extras in
a rotten movie.

-Maybe we’ll be discovered. Become stars!

-By who?

-The crazy faggot director! Who else?

-Why chance it? Our fame will carry a cost worst
than death!

-Well you are a pretty boy, Floyd.

-Ever tell you how much you resemble Ma Barker?

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Friday, August 03, 2012



-When I lived on a river in Florida, dolphins
played outside the window.

-They have larger brains. Inside the quantum
trillions of possible universes, they rule one.
With humans kept around for amusement.

-Sorta tough to do from the water.

-Oh they've come to land by then.

-Like to see one in an Armani suit.

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Thursday, August 02, 2012


Hedge Funder at Starbucks on
the Laybouts as Art History Majors

Need to know
Van Gogh?

Cezanne and Frogs?
Plus the Pop frauds?

Showboat Dali? All
necessarily pale
next to Derivatives.

Wall Street Wheel flies
apart periodically. So?

Nature of the Beast. Required
then are spokes. These

could be trained once
nonsense drained.

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Wednesday, August 01, 2012


The Law of Intended Consequences

-Last form I downloaded crashed my computer!
Decided on a new one, but salesman couldn't
guarantee it wouldn't...

-If he did, wiggle room would get him out of it
in the event of the same disaster. Covering your
ass is the greatest accomplishment of our time.

-Anyway, decided to come to you instead.
Steer me through the bureaucratic maze.
But why on earth have they made it so...?

-Money in complexity. Thus is added layer upon
layer. A man's grasp should exceed his reach!
...or do I have that bass-ackwards? The language
was so confusing when Browning said it.
If she did.

-I thought that the idea of privatizing so
much was supposed to streamline things,
drive down taxes. They've quadrupled!

-Be careful what you believe in. Have you
finished signing the forms?

-All twenty six!

-We've managed to hold that number down.

-And now you can help me with my so simple

-Many here worked for the company in question.
They know the pulleys and gears and their
infinite arrangements.

-You've not mention a fee and I've been
steeling myself to hear it.

-Nothing. A service of your government.

-You mean you're...? Isn't that topsy-turvey?
I mean you once employed a private firm
to get you through the governmental hoops.

-All's one now, isn't it?

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