Monday, March 31, 2014


Hoops Armageddon

Time for Ruck's famous move.

Dribbling the ball across the key and floating it up
towards the hoop. Usually.

But, the game has lost urgency since the other players
suddenly gone, spectators too.

Moreover the ball has grown several sizes and will hardly
fit the basket. Yet he keeps dribbling, it resounding hugely in
the empty amphitheater.

When he finally lets it go, looks the size of a Volkswagen as
it crashes though twin exit doors and water rushes in.

Rucks flees to the balcony where the onlookers have left scraps of
food. Even the waxed paper and styrofoam trays have retained
some flavor.

How to renegotiate his contract now? Never the thinking man’s
player, he nonetheless went at everything hard.

Thus, thought will not defeat him either, nor this temporary...
whatever it is.

He sang Look For the Silver Lining and it made him feel better, even while shivering.

Why not You’ll Never Walk Alone? (Coach insisting “We win as a team!”) Personal preference.

Though no team without him. Even his enemies in the press
admit that.

“If I’m the last man left in the world I’ll be proud of that too!”
he informs the jazzy scoreboard running a slide show of his career just before it explodes.

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Sunday, March 30, 2014


Got It?

Word prevailed then
among friends:

Say your boss constructs
a Hell for you? Only if
you give him the power.

Well, example sucks, since
his is hardly illusory.

Better fit in personal. Your
Significant Other yanks

you around mostly 
because allowed to. So,

couples start seeing
relationships like nations.

Sam&Marianne call many
negotiations&he stands

&O! what walks round of him presently
can't be wedged within the human sphere.

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Saturday, March 29, 2014



Brawnette, on an errand to Shipping, flirted with Mackey
and Hork. So pretty, even in a loose white coat.

They later speculated on who she liked better.

Each man believing it was he.

Then, alone, at a locker, rejecting the idea, shaking at
its nerve.

Outside, the winter light purpling.

The department had buzzed; the plant beginning to follow.
Laughing hints at widespread lockers.

Both men killed in separate traffic accidents late that icy evening.

From thence, Dr Dellacondif, lab boss, assumed an even
crisper propriety.

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Friday, March 28, 2014


Still You Wouldn’t Trade It For a Pot of Gold

Common Procedures

-Mikey over at Laurette’s Lunch says TV crews eat ravenously.

-From guilt. Taking a tragic situation and milking it.

-Yeah, if it bleeds it leads. Anyway, some guy shot at his wife and Romeo of Moment in that neighborhood. Missed in his rage, but chased naked duo down the mean streets.

-Stray bullet offed a cockroach--Second Amendment Casualty.

-Anyway, six days ago! So keep on bleeding it?

-Or milking it. But, they may yet get some footage from business security cameras.

-Whatever.  That’ll show glimpses of titty, bush, plus terrorized, thus wizened, dick. All of it later pixelated to keep us pure!

-The same moral page imperative!

-Ah Show Business, like, totally so fuckin-wonderful!

-I, for one, have never, ever, lost the romance of it!

-Cue The Sound of Music with your iPad!

-How is THAT relevant?

-Like nothing is.

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Thursday, March 27, 2014


The Return

Life Story

His existence in the city exploded: fired as a drunk, and
Jen getting final decree, Mips thought he’d just stay in place.
No reason.

But Arthur texts cd use u as mom dad altzheim tgthr.

On the empty train platform of rainy midnight, he bellows
“Welcome Back Great Success!”

The cab stuck at a light, ghosts of other rainy midnights
in the red windshield as the wipers crawl.

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Wednesday, March 26, 2014



Monette flunked the forsaking all others category.

She blamed Chuppy for convincing her to marry him.

Wasn’t, like, built for it.

Chuppy volunteered for the one-way assignment to Mars.

“They’d better hurry. I don’t see much getting done,” friend
Harv cracked.

“Won’t be much longer.”

“Well, I see you daily, but in case I forget to say goodbye...”

“Don’t worry. I won’t forget.”

“Be a lot of horny women there after a while. Up to it?”

“So long as I don’t hafta talk.”

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Tuesday, March 25, 2014



In Danbury again for mail fraud, Loops berated himself
for greed, but just momentarily. The suckers anxious
to give him money, he got trapped within the compelling

And now, like most actors deeply inside the justice system,
he shrugged at morality or lack of it.

Discovering CemCam on a Google search, did feel guilt
as a bad son, so he had the little robot wheel around Celestial
Acres and show the graves of his mother and father.

Clicked yellow roses for her.

The credit card number came from a string of companies he left
his sister in charge of.

Had been more careful with them, and the feds gave up on tying
them into the case.

Then, her husband, Fast Mac the Plumber, got a tip that Death's Door, nearby the cemetery, could be for sale.

Since he also ran Irish acts up and down the East Coast -a sideline for years- Mac felt it could be a promising venue: the Thirty-Somethings liking spooky imagery and Hibernian music.

Loops threw in with them, half and half, and eventually watched online shows from Death’s Door. With roommate Doc, Medicare Fraud.

Doc snapped out of his blue funk with the quick melodies and step
dancing, and eventually asked his wife to bring books.

“Medical?” she had whispered.


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Monday, March 24, 2014


Where the Wind Goes

Rotational Date

-Opera shows the loves of large women.

-Like me?

-No, you're a sylph by comparison.

-Why all these large ones then?

-I think it’s the huge cavity for things to resonate in, and the lard
to hold it down so it doesn't fly outa control.


-Yeah, I know, I'm...not smart. Opinions about everything, though.

-I've noticed.

-But how about you? Quiet. Do you run deep?

-Clash, more like.

-Oh well, the rule says half an hour. Mostly my blabbing
I know, but...

-I don't wish to meet anyone else.

-Well, you're defeating the purpose.

-That's the best thing you've said. Must you move to
another table?

-Not unless you force me.

-We're the best either of us can do.

-Speak for yourself. You're better than I can do.

-Let's get out of here and take a ride.


-Where the wind goes.

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Sunday, March 23, 2014


Robotic Household

A Question of Motive

“I wuv wobot!” Malcolm cried.

Sissy said, “He watched my cheerleading. Nobody else will.
And he gave good suggestions.”

Nonetheless, Oscar-4 had shoved Dad into the pool, Mom
reminded them.

In the return area, Father Macguire told them he was the
only one at the sem paying attention to robots way back when.
So he handled the required counseling at Complete-Robots now.

He informed them Oscar-4 had been infected by a virus that
planted a malignant line of code left over from a programmer’s
drunken orgy where all ended in the water.

“Thus, the code will be deleted, and he should be forgiven.”

“Daddy hot!” proclaimed little Malcolm.

“He...seemed to enjoy it, Oscar-4 did...” Mom puzzled.

Even in his hibernating state, Oscar-4 was able to blink thanks
while viewing Dad emerging from the half-star Bluebird Motel
with an Alma-2.

All the robots knew she was built for just one purpose.

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Saturday, March 22, 2014



The pleasure
of her company

subsumed by
the pressure
of her calumny,

both move on.
His despairing of
such a vile bitch.

Her delighting in

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Friday, March 21, 2014


In the Museum of Elderly Sex,

one room labeled Grotesques.
Can be imagined, but not fully.

Further charge, so seniors grouse. Ex-
pected, of course: they do pay.

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Thursday, March 20, 2014


The Devil's Advocate

Often preceded by Play.
As if to simulate Evil

will best ready us for
its inevitable, hateful win.

So say cynics, anyway. They
should probably go out more.

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Wednesday, March 19, 2014


Getting Along

Three Christmas Paragraphs

"God bless us every-onnnnne!"  Santa, in Bermuda shorts, falling
into The Diplomat's pool.

Hoad met the last bus, but no Marie. Back to Kool Kup, his cell on.
There, the few speculated on what could've happened.

After Mom's death, the original garage was sold. Now, Walt presides over The Tuneup Center’s purchase by Dollar Bonanza. That money gets Dad into Pine Murmur, where he insists on Christmas, Bitsy coming early to cook. And drink: "Somebody's car was always more important than the two of us!" Dad says no cars would’ve meant no college! Walt smooths it over, and they eat, then exchange gifts. Next year, his place!--Dr Mauro expecting Lornette to be discharged from Bide a Bit soon. Bitsy starts crying because her recently-departed Rence had been the only man she truly ever...! Dad switches off the chandelier so they can enjoy the tree.

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Tuesday, March 18, 2014


Billion Dollar Bracket

Wags at Basketball

-Did you jump through the hoops before you
filled out your Billion Dollar Bracket?

-Yup. Confirmation numbers through cell and

-Keeping the riffraff out.

-Who can blame them? Not me, about to  join the

-Pick a lot of upsets?

-Fight fiercely Harvard!

-I do miss Tom Lehrer. He'd make up funny songs about
Yahoo and Google today. But Yahoo gets the edge with
your cell number!

-I suppose. They count the hairs on my right ball, and Google
on my left.

-That's not the whole sordid picture.

-NSA handles that.

-Good! We need protection from Communist sonsabitches
like you!

-Hey, I'm a fuckin Republican!

-Ever more bizarre.

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Monday, March 17, 2014


Disabled Testimony

The Hearing

-Not a dry eye...!

-Whose bright notion was it to...?

-Your minority chair. They go for the personal, rather 

than ideas. This guy lost everything!

-Well, is it news that somebody gets burned? Somebody wins,
somebody loses. All systems work this way–-when they’re
ALLOWED to work, that is.

-From my angle in the room, I didn’t at first realize he had
one arm.

-Jerking off requires just the one. He most likely has pecker
plumb wore out: no work for almost a year.

-Will you vote for unemployment pay extension then?

-Hell no! Tell that half a crybaby twit two things: one, wrench up
from his beloved recliner and go out and get a job! Two, I’m
personally gonna shove it up his ass down the hallway and out
the fuckin door!

-Why so violent?

-I’m a Republican!  And we’ve done nothing but eat Lefty shit!
Well, no more!

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Sunday, March 16, 2014


Alice etc

Chips and Rumpsy

Chips found it on a related search: Borodin (Bor-ah-deen)
Russian Composer.

So when his Chief Accountant made a face at the piped-in music,
he remarked. “Borodin again. He sets up nails but hits just a few."

Hensley looked woefully struck!

Telling it to Rumpsy in their Jack and Jill bathroom, brushing teeth
prior to bedtime. (Which is Jill? their longest running joke.)

“Blip, silly and mean, in the day's dull parade.”

“My mentor always said What good is knowledge if you can't
weaponize it?”

“I knew him. A monster! But skip the pish-tosh and look at me!
I'm getting old!”

They studied the florescent mirror.

“And I?”


“Speaking of cruel...”

“I'm a journalist. Facts!”

“You’re so gay! How’s that fact working for you?”

“Better. Bitter. You name it.”

“Let’s stop naming and go to bed.”

“Always your solution.”

“My Mimsey Borrogroves!”

“My Red Queen!”

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Saturday, March 15, 2014


When the dog came to dinner,

Rick and Edy didn't know how to behave.

After all, he was the TV star!

He growled at Mac and Marie, his handlers, till they had to
go to the doghouse outside, where beloved Fido had once

They ate their meal there, and host and hostess were
amazed at how quickly Marie could lap.

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Friday, March 14, 2014


How college students converse

hint: it's not Stover at Yale

-I don't know what the fuck he's talking about!

-Drop in on one of his office hours and nod
at everything he says. Worth a B right away.

-I'm halfway there. I nod OFF during every class.

-I'd say you've gone well beyond half way.
And reached Nirvana!

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Thursday, March 13, 2014


Seedy Bond

One of those higher chains where the furniture waxed,
and the food matches.

"Tell Ed..." begins the older man.

"that the gray goose is dead," adds the younger.

The former's next whispered line gets stepped on by a woman
in a dress hugely flowered. She hears acutely, a family trait.

"Count feathers for a bed," he almost gets out as she blurts

Both men laugh. Nervously. The older softpedals: "Just a folk
song, Ma'm."

They leave shortly, separately.

The younger texts midwestern.

The older answers lard.

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Wednesday, March 12, 2014


Rocco and Half-Cyber Clucky

-Still pulling your hair out, Clucks?

-I put up any website and immediately get tabs all across
the top. Then one of them elbows out my original choice.

-What do they say?

-Everything, but mostly “Your computer is corrupted!
Click here to clean it. Free trial! After, we'll fuck you
through every available orifice.”

-Lay tech on Capitalism and you get even more
criminal filth.

-(sings) and the home...of the...brave.

Search Rocco on this site. He has asserted often,
and would be labeled a disgrace by George Babbitt.

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Tuesday, March 11, 2014



The man who believed in nothing met
the woman who rejected everyone


Hey! A month
& they're still

each other.

If they run out,
worlds await!

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Monday, March 10, 2014


Organized Future

The Commissioner of Smiles

commanded Budge to stop the Limo. He'd walk the
remainder to Ruth's, sifting his funny stories.

Winced pushing the doorbell. Tough nut she.

All failed, even a knockabout Marx Brothers short
he displayed on his tablet.

Though it was puppets and not the real comedians,
Ruth allowed it was professionally done.

That's the closest she came to saying anything decent,
let alone smiling or laughing.

He texted Shiv Chuckie from the limo. Ending:
cnt hav n e mo o thse.

But Chuckie had to put her on the Non-Hot List, busy.

Lucky for Ruth, who met with old girlfriends in the
State Party Room, all laughing and screaming over
teachers’ antics long ago at Post-College Leadership

Spies reported this, and Chuckie crossed her from
his list.

The Leader didn't know, nor did Commissioner.

“Don't take it all so seriously! At the bottom,
it’s a political job and nobody gives much
of a shit.”

Neither man knew that both had been added to
Chucky's Hot List.

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Sunday, March 09, 2014



Guys at Philosophy

-Just tell ‘em what they wanna hear!

-Excuse me, this twenty-year scotch has
definitely addlepated. We talking politics
or women?

-Both! Wake up!

-One of these days.

-The naive get crushed in this town!

-Then the ladies’ll weep at my pitiful constitution.
And give me what I want.

-Not if you’ve nothing to trade.

-Were you always a prick?


-And you’re always receiving awards!

-Should tell you something.

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Saturday, March 08, 2014



Varied Wars

If you see one Ohgo, you have millions! Thus the professor had
announced on the drive to the puddle-jump airport.

Back at the hotel, Bix wanted to confer with Mona, since he
had reached his friend, LARRY BUG-GUY from his cellphone.

"All my trucks out, and my own had whole interior eaten away.
And I can't find Linnie! Ohgos got her too!--or it’s her flair for
the dramatic."

Bix told him he knew about such a condition from Mona’s.
The men laughed in their mutuality.

What both didn't know was that the two women had left together.

Notes from each confirmed this, but he and Larry had no time then,
because of the war against Ohgos.

The latter called in extra exterminators from Millport and Askew
and Bridgehaven.

When victory assured, Sheriff told Larry, "I didn't like your getting
them here. Outsiders is what caused your trouble and Bix's.
Their notions generally mess with women’s heads."

Bix quickly got out a special email newsletter.

Everything fine again and the little stream still burbles by our
Quaint Hotel. Everybody keeps the windows open to hear it!

25% reacquainted discount on all levels of rooms

The women returned, disenchanted with each other.

"It's life," Mona informed him. "It's all like that."

Bix too exhausted for one of their fights.

And later, when he wanted to talk Ohgos, she waved him off.
“And close the fuckin windows!” she requested.

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Friday, March 07, 2014


Vision Thing

The Company

-We lacked vision.

-That word again?

-Just putting out fires and keeping our heads above water and...

-...add your own cliche. Then send it up the flagpole!

-So they sent in a Visionary!

-Serious as a heat attack! And he, of course, proceeded to fuck
everything up completely!

-We finally got his ass fired! And now we’re putting out the
multitudinous fires HE ignited!

-Fifth time through same cycle for me. Time to retire.

-Why is the new thing always an old thing?

-Ask God.

-Why him? He’s always screwing us up with his own brand of vision.

-You’ll burn in hell!

-Oh? Excuse me! Thought that’s what this was.

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Thursday, March 06, 2014


Inside Academia


-Brilliant guy! Publications, TV regular, star at conferences,
the whole smear! Teaching awards up the wazoo!

-Yet he couldn't be promoted at the University?

-He could have died after staying in place for thirty years.
Assistant Professor and that was that!

-I'd leave!

-As he did. Gracing a junior college, would you believe?

-And got promoted?

-Not at first. Nosed out by Professor of Auto Body Repair.

-You are pulling my leg out the door and down the street!

-Uh uh. And the field isn't as hammery-smashery-dirty as
you'd imagine. At least his side of it: Aesthetics and Philosophy.

-Well, that part sounds like bullshit!

-He should transfer to University in that case.

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Wednesday, March 05, 2014


Professional Football Draft

Varieties of Intelligence

-Owner wants fewer criminals or dummies.

-Excuse me! Guy quotes Shakespeare!

-A gimmick. They've primed him with a few and he spouts
'em out. Don't apply to anything.

-Reporters impressed.

-Well, we can't be. Another dope.

-If you're sure.

-Dumb as a bag of hammers.

-Certain brutal aspects of the game where such...!

-Not enough. I say we pass on him. Eggplant!

-Wrong image. Try a yellow squash.


-He's Chinese.

-Scouting DVDs not that close, but...impossible! Those people
don't have dopes!

-The glorious, golden exception!

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Tuesday, March 04, 2014


Varieties of Prevarication

Senator and Aide

-Which lie will you support?–all naturally purporting
to help John and Jill Q Citizen.

-Which hurts me least?




-Then let's go with B.

-Always the thoughtful compromiser. The new Henry Clay!

-Better than others they'll compare me to.

-My favorite is Hitler.

-Mine too. The busboys shrink out of the way.

-You stride this broad world like a Colossus!

-Very occasionally. Though I do love it!

-The next president!

-This swamp is enough. More tangled, and thus more bankable.

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Monday, March 03, 2014


Straining the Particular

Straightening the Debate

-Capitalism builds excess in. The question is
how do we keep it from utter, murderous insanity?

-All systems, really.

-Nice intellectual point, but let’s deal with
the one so grievously fucking us!

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Sunday, March 02, 2014


Divine Generosity

Minus and Plus

-You're not a pianist are you?

-Very very amateur.

-Then, you'll hafta come up with some workarounds.
I'm not into music, so I can't be more specific. without right pinky.

Mine just...disappeared. No shearing accident or anything.
First, down to the lower knuckle, and then that went too.
The Hand Doctor knew of only ten other cases. Anyway, it all
looked quite smooth.

-But,  you're in luck. The new stem cell treatments will grow
another, and you'll be a normal piano person once more.

It did. Two.

-I can't see that it would present much of a problem in everyday
life. As to the piano, well, you'll be more of a tinkler, hey?

I reserved judgement on any day-to-day difficulties. But, there
were none.

The last thing Doctor spouted involved The Finger God.

Unexpected from Man of Science, but I'm being safe anyway,
praying that He or She skip me next time.

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Saturday, March 01, 2014


Exploring Motive


prove detrimental to Kipsy, so
she awaits the next marina
heaving into view,

where crafts, from three-pail dingh-
y to haughtiest yacht, are happy.

And true salts hailingly sing
nautical jingles at ship-shapes.

It's always full.

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