Tuesday, October 31, 2017



The fussy corps
shown the door.

The new guy’s
dumb as shit.

In his view:

Genius of the Age!

Rage preceded
and will follow.

In Spades.

If then, all get
thoroughly pissed,

Impotence saves

the day.

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Monday, October 30, 2017


Bernice Made Lists

On her cellphone and
in her personal cloud.

All kinds, but her favorite
was of snide remarks directed
at her.

These never came from plumbers
calling Allied Supply, who
loved her sweet voice on the

But usually friends, so-called.

Under “My Best Makeup,” she 

challenged Jen, who laughed.

“Don't be silly. I meant nothing!”

Of late, whole nations listed.

“I should warn Pakistan, who isn't 

as organized as you.”

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Sunday, October 29, 2017



-That woman had a mind of
bedeviling complexity!

-How’d it go with... ?

-Went! Endless horror show!

-What happened to her?

-Moved to Europe.

-That far enough?


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Saturday, October 28, 2017


He knew his brain

a first draft


Hoped and prayed
this new woman

would put on
the adroit finish-
ing touches.

She did, to everyone’s

he became articulate,
even encyclopedic
after a while, and some

comments so pointed that
all his friends fled:
even sarcasm closed

to them by his flood-
ing words, damming

fragments of which
they still hear
in spasmodic dreams.

A woman’s voice,

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Friday, October 27, 2017



The Bra Exec didn’t break the
bank at Monte Carlo, but missed
his flight there.

As a result Andre-Andre, Designer,
huffed back to his yacht and sailed
with his cadre of haughty models.

Bra Man had missed many planes,
boats, trains, limos.

Booze, mostly. Fired this time.

Now hangs with other decayed wrecks
at Cosmopolitan Bar. Most, in their

          Thoroughly wronged
          By weakness and song.

They argue ballgames and politics.

And insult each other in jest, but,
sneakingly, in grievance, deep felt!

But when tits come up, he’s acknowledged.

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Thursday, October 26, 2017


The Analytic Gang

sealed our fated fate!

But Tessie whispered
to Kirk. “Let’s go

somewhere where nothing
snaps into place.”

They went missing for
a week.

Came back anxious to
get with the program.

“Enough was enough,”
told she Gladys Alderofer.
“Everything breaks down.”

Mom calls her Glads.
Dad, Sis.

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Wednesday, October 25, 2017


Dressing Down the Dressers Up

The attack on the fort
didn't go well this year.

More men than ever
being drunk.

And for the first time, some
women dressed as men.

At least remaining sober.

If silly!

In his mind he shoots a
defender dead.

Also a drunk.

Then attackers flee.

How gratifying!

And how the women scream!

He'd only once fired a real
shot in anger.


But, young.


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Tuesday, October 24, 2017



-I like the South. The ladies blame their sexual frenzies 
on the Devil.

-And what do Northern women blame THEIR…?


-They're...proud then?

-When they bother.

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Monday, October 23, 2017



Bursting into song lately, Dolores Gladdings.

Her son, Mel, loved it!

Not so, daughters.

Misty spoke for both women.

“Hey! Around here, Myself and Lynn
already hafta claw the whores off our
boyfriends around here! We don't need
any whacko Mom!”

The Examiner ultimately concurred, after waiting
for the Ethel Mermanesque solo to stop. “Amazing! 
That could be C over C at the end!”

“THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS! ...and no harm done, Ma’am,” defended Mel.

“Can’t agree there, Young Man. Wildly
Inappropriate at this hearing, as it would
be in church, temple, funeral home…”

Where, of course, plans are set, and
anomalies unwelcome.

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Sunday, October 22, 2017


Once “Famous”

Generally, he wanted to be left alone, but
when dying, the adult children started
paying attention.

Some of these in media, and they
talked around.

Soon TV grabbed it, making
buses come.

He was repeatedly asked for wisdom.

Shrugged and muttered.

Commentators revealed what he meant.

Enough being enough, hired a proxy.

Tricky, since he felt that man also must be
near death etc.

They have lunch weekly, looking like
decayed brothers.

Laugh at pseudo philosophy proxy slings.

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Saturday, October 21, 2017


Organized Couple

If a man insists on 

a 5 Hour Energy Shot 

at a specific hour,
his woman must pen-

cil in passion’s hot 

bit later.

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Friday, October 20, 2017


Found a Peanut

Found a peanut, found a peanut
found a peanut last night
last night I found a peanut
found a peanut last night

Jeannette Lillian Delser

It was rotten, it was rotten
it was rotten last night
last night it was rotten
it was rotten last night

from the Jump Rope gang
at Starr and Winchester

Ate it anyway, ate it anyway
ate it anyway last night
last night I ate it anyway
ate it anyway last night

whose jump mates and
grandparents called her Kikky

Got a tummy ache, got a tummy ache
got a tummy ache last night
last night I got a tummy ache
got a tummy ache last night

and went to Hillhouse High School,
later Cornell, for Bachelors and
PhD, there marrying Jess “Jester” 

Harborough, killed in Korean War

Went to the hospital, went to the hospital
went to the hospital last night
last night I went to the hospital
went to the hospital last night

married Mack Brodsky of the Biology
Department of West Chester University of
Pennsylvania where she also taught.
Three daughters.

died anyway, died anyway
died anyway last night
last night she died anyway

died anyway last night.

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Thursday, October 19, 2017



The man who never wanted to go anywhere
or do anything

married the woman who tended to her knitting.

Okay, not the most exciting couple!

That list, fortunately, is full.

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Wednesday, October 18, 2017


The Art of It

Beside you, I
and Desire

carrying the day
in our eyes.

as if

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Tuesday, October 17, 2017


Stealing Trash

Harrison P. Q. Croddings
named in one hundred sex
harassment suits brought
by three hundred lawyers!

Early transcription error!
Real drooling miscreant:
Q. P. initials!

But P. Q. ruined anyway?

Not a bit of it!

Must have some reputation
to begin with.

When he saw he wasn’t harmed,
he has a stranger visit him.

Deep Thought!

He decides to acquire a reputation.

After cliched blood, sweat, and tears,

Inventing Clench-It-All-At-Once.

Now I know you’ve heard of IT from TV!

He maintains a harem in New Jersey presently.

Aids that state, too, in bringing back Big Hair.

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Monday, October 16, 2017


The Theory of Neglect

-Women have affairs because they feel neglected!

-Oh? My take is that they’ve run out the string on
the orginal sucker.

-As did your Gwennie?

-In hysterical spades!

-Well...you've both moved on.

-Uh huh? One person can screw up
royally. Add others to the mix and you
got chaos cubed.

-We can cope.

-There's no way! But I found one answer.

-I'm all ears...why the women laugh.

-Those protrudos bring in radar too?

-The answer? o most Fractional Wit!

-I borrowed the brain of a village idiot!

-How would you describe the experience?


-That good?

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Sunday, October 15, 2017


-The Man Describes His Horrid Life

in dulcet tones.

-He’s happy, then?

-The dulcet tones are.

-They can join other dulcet tones?


-Good night, swart Prince!

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Saturday, October 14, 2017


When Desire Spent

Interest lost. So,

All! Bank on it.
Takes work, though.

Rome wasn’t
gilt in a day.

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Friday, October 13, 2017


Finders and Keepers

More dangerous than put-
together, careening through

attics looking for some-
thing I couldn’t misplace

its place,
but forgot.

Organizing things
Is the surest ticket
to chaos.

But uncovering sentiment-
al artifacts past their shelf-
life of shame?

We quiet ones
need such,
however late.

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Thursday, October 12, 2017



-She was too...and I was worse.

-Too WHAT?

-What’s the difference?

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Wednesday, October 11, 2017


-Life is a dream...

some say.

-Horseshit peddlers! Row a
different boat!

-Hey! Go easy. I launched
similar-sounding malarkey
to get through college.

-To what end re adding
to the world's wisdom?

--Not my deal! Immediate
survival was.

From what? Floods? Hurricanes?

-The shit storms Society wishes
to smash you down with. Bury you!

-Paranoid now, it seems. I doubt
Society bothers with non-entities.

-I'm entity enough to myself and
my girlfriend!

-God have mercy on her souls!

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Tuesday, October 10, 2017


Points of View

Out for his customary early evening
walk, Bart decides to watch the end
of the softball game.

There a hit himself! With the wives
and girlfriends of the players, via
well-timed wisecracks.

But it came back to Officer Hertity,
friend, as “Some old guy talking

His wife, Lark, told him to look in
the mirror for several minutes!

But he saw just a very old,




Little tufts of hair in ears.

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Monday, October 09, 2017


Staying In the Neighborhood

-And that’s not even mentioning the twin
upheavals of your life, Susannah and Margo.


-Makes no difference. You do realize, of course,
that you were one hundred percent wrong
with both?

-High eighties, I’d say--in the interest of accuracy.

-You should still be apologizing.

-I’m apologized out!

-Then to a higher power! And doing penance!

-Should I walk to the Crestview Recreation Center on my hands and knees?

-I’m thinking of a place with more spiritual heft,
like a St Patrick’s Cathedral.

-Crestview just a short block over.

-Purification should be harder!

-I’ll throw in the Ford Dealer next to it.

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Sunday, October 08, 2017


80s Puzzle

In his eighties now, Hastor overwhelmed
by Crisis!

via persistent strings of them.

But, upon examination by his daughters,
none existed really.

“What will happen when a real one arrives?”
Melinda asked his medical team

Hoddings Destry Morgan Undervel, MD,
replied “Probably kill him.”

His partner-wife Rhonda Makepiece Louisa
Conchita Pepita Schwartz, MD, concurred.

Thus, keeping him alive consisted of laughing.

Which angered him.

How can such a conundrum end?

Who knows, who cares?

Once you find out what you’re doing,
you should always stop.

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Saturday, October 07, 2017


Wit Abounding

Hoaks left the ad business after
thirty years to take on the PR
of a small for-profit college.

His task unlimited, he decides to
remake the departments, starting
with Physics.

Where the professors overwhelmed
by huge ideas to the point of

He bought them a few academic
prizes, and they, grateful, took
lower salaries.

Reporting to the President, a
heavy equipment lessor in
real life. “...and here’s hoping
they keep their hands out from
under pinafores!”

“Pinafives, while you’re at it!”

America! Wit everywhere!

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Friday, October 06, 2017


The Man Who Progressively Forgot

Left his car at work one day, walked home.

Reported it stolen.

Last straw for wife, Darlie.

She placed him in a school for remembering.

Most of these rackets run by big political
contributors, but his one did some good.

He trained as a domestic.

Ended up serving his wife’s boyfriends.

And girlfriends, for special occasions.

Such as the Women’s Rugby Final televised
from Kuala Lumpur.

He had to remember seventeen kinds of
fancy cocktails and make same.

(Though “Horny Serbian” still a favorite.)

Except for Monica. She just said “Bourbon,
and leave the fuckin bottle.”

And, later, “Make me a sandwich for
a man! Not itsy bitsy canapes!
What do I look like?”

She later put on the kibosh when the
ladies broke out a tape measure
in a slack moment in a game containing

“No more stupid Lady Rituals! His pecker
humongous, all right? Let it go at that.”

At any rate, she proved his only friend.

Eventually adopted him.

A nice story mid depravity.

Some luck out.

Always hope.

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Thursday, October 05, 2017


In the District…

guess coordinates

-When did you know this town?

-The day I started answering casual
bullshit with casual bullshit.

-Isn’t that just giving up?

-Yes. It is.

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Wednesday, October 04, 2017


Their Less-Than-Great Debate


-Each side waits for the other to slip, and then
pounces full force!

-Is it a long wait?


-What’s the difference then?

-The Left sins with excessive, and often silly,
regulation, but their hearts in a safe place
for us all, usually. If halfass. But...really
makes for pointed satire.

-And the R...?

--Total pricks!

-I heard they were hundred percent for the Wealthy!

-How can you say that?

-Maybe, their actions?

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Tuesday, October 03, 2017



Her dump of Harold was now fully in effect.
They were to speak, of course, but only
in softly polite generalities.

Brenda saw him at the Little League Parade,
and both merged moderately sunny hellos.

Then an old woman fell into the path of
the Crestview Drum and Bugle Corps.

Bugsy, bass drummer and joker, gave the
incident his loudest thump!

Then, more staccato ones as his colleagues

Harold plucked her back through all this
stumbling and random toots.

To the bleachers, where he cleaned her
face with tissues. Finally, stroked her hair.

Voice light as his touch.

“Goddammit all to hell!” sobbed Brenda,
“Why are you so good? You’re always
so fuckin...!”

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Monday, October 02, 2017


Neighborhood Softball League

A few girlfriends straggle in and
sit on the squat bleachers.

No wives yet.

They steer away from the old
sobbing woman.

“I’m dying of Cancer, and nobody
gives a shit!”

First Baseman, Hutsy, gives her
his chocolate milk.

“I need a straw!”

“Nobody needs a straw. Chug it
right down!”

“I’ll try.”

“You need a laugh?  Watch me bat.”

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Sunday, October 01, 2017


Royal Arrival

Lills bit short in one category: Beauty.

But the figurative, and sometimes literal,
line forms, of young fellows just fine with

Unfortunately, she awaits Her Prince.

And that, literal.

He’d come, just have to be patient.

She’s that.

And one day!

Well he IS a Prince, listed in a joke book
called The Peerage.

From some Eastern European dump
periodically fractured by war involving
great powers who scoff at the quaint natives.

As they always do.

At any rate, Lills sees young and blond when
he’s really faded and crushed. Resembling
a middle aged crossing guard at a tough school.

And bent, shuffling to his wedding station

with a Best Man whose last name consisted
only of consonants.

Fairly negative picture, but...

Well...a dick like that of a horse!

(My children insisted I write this last.)

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