Monday, April 30, 2018



“Every day!” he beamed!

“And in every way!” rushed we!

“We’re getting better and better!”

We took turns embracing him,
clapping him on the back.


Then sang to him after he asserted
“The impossible DOES take longer.”

Our exuberance would have lasted
the whole evening, but he, unfortunately,

Through grief unending, we still remembered to phone Police Commander Swirtzky.

Who later asked the requisite questions to determine absence of foul play.

Then entered DP into his tablet.


“Older they get, more the case,”
he added to us.

We pounded his back and sang to him.

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Sunday, April 29, 2018


The Endless Fight for Respect

-How goes the Thirty Year Purge?

-Deadest end! And worse than death, really!


-Unfortunately! Last unearthing was a grimy trove of kids’ stuff in the attic. Still smelling of piss and shit even after all these years!

-Hey! They got their own kids stinking up
their respective joints!

-Christ! The History of Odor!

-What’s done is done.
-I won’t relax until the whole crap’s on
the garbage truck being hauled away.

-Do you worry about the garbage men
making wisecracks, which then filters
to the village?

-I know it’s ridiculous, but Liz and I can’t help it!

-Middle-Class! Means you’re embarrassed every fuckin moment of your life!

-I thought the latest pegs us as Lower-Upper?

-There’s no escape: Death, Taxes, Shame!

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Saturday, April 28, 2018



-Couldn’t sleep last night, so I
studied the shadows on the wall
and ceiling.


-Just the single nightlight in a floor
socket, thus they’re huge!

-Great! Intriguing!

-So...I puzzled out...that’s a bookcase,
that’s an inner shutter, and that’s…

-Long story short?

-I could draw you a detailed diagram
right now! Case utterly solved!

-You have taken mystery and turned
it into you?

-I suppose.

-Longer I live, more I’m cheated!

-Sorry! Next time I’ll leave half
undone! My usual half-ass!

-Leave something!

-What gods get angry if I don’t?

-All of them!

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Friday, April 27, 2018


Coming of Age

“What is your twenty-first birthday question?” asked Grigor of daughter Estelle.

“How did everybody get so mean?”

“He answered...?”

“Be patient! Everyone just forced to start from there.”

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Thursday, April 26, 2018


Chance and Skill

-Mr Death is henceforth sitting in?

-You’ve played against stacked decks before?

-All of them.

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Wednesday, April 25, 2018



Ruppy found little trace of her.

Twisted tubes of makeup here
and there, looking like a disgusted
painter had flung them.

He deduced that Nora had left.
And probably with a character
from her office she couldn’t
shut up about.  

“Mr Jibber-Jabber,” pronounced
he into false twilight, birds bending
their flight down like a hinge.

Before he could go on the net to
explore a proper group for Males
Unaware, Friend One bursts in.

“Change nothing! You’ll just meet
another dissatisfied woman. God
himself has given up this city!”

“I must do something!"

“So turn into a parody? The girls
have cornered the market.
Latest is their acquiring lips
like Ubangis! OH? It can laugh.
Heart smashed to shit and it can
still laugh!”

“Stick a fork in me, I’m done!”

“Look at that light. It has turned gold!
And what are the birds doing?”



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Tuesday, April 24, 2018


Calculating Charm

-Your Monette is, like, continuously sweet!

-Uh huh? Natural or calculated?
Perhaps I should inquire of her
other warm friend?

-Is...the Green-eyed Monster whispering
again into your suspicious ear?

-He takes no breaks!

-Why not just trust her?

-I’m gonna pretend you couldn’t
ask a question that utterly stupid.

-I’M stupid? You’re making The Queen
Elizabeth into a tramp steamer!

-You’d be surprised. Anyway, I’m getting
the goods on her. Slowly but surely.

-Obsessive jealousy will tear you apart!

-Whaaa obsessive? I work my eight hours.

-Then, revert to Sherlock Holmes?

-Elementary my dear Watson!
She’s a goddamn cheater!

-Why not give the harrowing investigation a break? Go to
a ballgame with us guys! Ass around! Loud and drunk! You need some perspective!

-What? And give the women an excuse to get together and brag about Mr Long-Cock?

-So? She’s the tease-provoking sleaze?
Pretty little Monette? Cut it out!

-Not for much longer.

-I’ll stop. Lest you tag me Secret Screwer!

-Death too good for such a one!

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Monday, April 23, 2018



-Did the Big Bang actually happen?

-A convenience. All our thoughts are.

-Anything else?

-Not yet.

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Sunday, April 22, 2018


Boyfriends Through the Years

-We called him The Professor.
Anyway, they had terrific Sundays!
Cooked huge breakfast together,
and then lazed around reading
The New York Times. Sections of it
all over the floor! Mid remnants of
eggs and waffles and coffees etc.

-I love it! What my mother called sloppy
but nobby.

-I don’t know what nobby means, really,
but as Whitman says “I’m mad to come
in contact with it!”

-Her new boyfriend’s a gamer.

-May God have mercy on her soul!

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Saturday, April 21, 2018


Fruitful Visit

-Said she'd go back to her planet if
she could take take Monsieur M. Andre,
who designed the bra for her single,
central breast.

-And the boyfriend would never let HER
go anywhere without him.

-Right! Since she’s gynecologically
doubled, his invented techniques, too,
shout GENIUS!

-In her short stay here, she has learned
how to inspire brilliance!

-OUR women locked into trivia. Lips and
eyes and whatever goo-goo.

-Such a shame!

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Friday, April 20, 2018


How Life Sounds

-Ralphie couldn’t have loved Sol more!

-For years and years...if I understand?

-Distilled it on his blog. A beautiful tribute!

How do I…?

-Just Google A Big Jew Passes.

-Oh? As a fellow Big Jew, I don’t
know how much I like that.

-His way.

-Lots of haters too!

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Thursday, April 19, 2018



-When she died she left me
with a nice impression.

-You didn’t know her.

-I knew OF her. That was
pretty lovely...give and take.

-Superficial. Her AND you!

-I’ll accept that. Omar Khayyam
said he was never deep in
anything save wine.

Leave out the wine, we got you.

-“But I am one acquainted with the night.”

-Acquainted. That’s the keyword.
Nothing serious.

-It’s that way for everyone.

-This conversation over?

-This one only.

-Then I can stop wincing, waiting
for Hamlet to, like, emerge?

-Not tonight. “Look for me tomorrow,
you’ll find a grave man.”


-He meant dead. So, pretty serious.

-I’m running QUOTE BLOCKER on you!
People can talk without all this literary crap!

-Perfect program for the silly age.

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Wednesday, April 18, 2018



Professor Denzler amazed at
the parallel to the sexual dances
of New Hano and other Pacific islands

Yet Marjorie Dawning had invented it herself.

Performed it at the Lions.

He had room in the budget to invite her to the Anthropology Club, then to show the old British Pathe footage of the island dances.

Frenzies might be the better label.

Anyway, her performance seized grad
student Bill Ortway, and he later stood in
the sudden ice storm outside her small
hotel and stared.

Bea Hoddles noted him from the kitchen
window as she made sandwiches for
Room Service.

Later brought him hot chocolate.

Her art wasn’t dance but warmth, and
Bill quickly changed the object of his

She brought him home that midnight,
and her helter-skeltered dolls glowed
in approval.

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Tuesday, April 17, 2018


Two Suits


I don’t talk to rookies. After all,
you went with Malora a mere
month; whereas…

You were engaged a sordid six!
But couldn’t get her to the altar.

The altar would hafta come to Mal,
last in a chain of thoroughly expected

She’s more famous for her breakups.
For that lousy month, I still shake years
later at her pointed phrasing!

And I can quote her to the exact, cruel, letter.

Wonder what she’s doing now?

This moment? Piling little wood
shavings. To ignite while chanting
to the Mean Broads’ Chief God.

Nothing so elaborate. I can see her with
your voodoo doll, pin poised above its
shriveled penis.

No! Please! Don’t!

And when she drives it home don’t
scream like a girl!
I like screaming like a girl. They get
a lot out.


That’s not possible.

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