All Over the Place

Bureaucrats Confer

These fuckin Americans!
Our job is to completely
fuck them before they finally,
finally leave and we can settle
the old scores in the old way.

Did you say Revenge?

I said Democracy

I thought I heard Freedom.

That three!

How do they love us?

Let me oil the ways.

The Age of Faith

Acquaintance tells me
not to worry. She, anent

this scenario of breath,
has impressed Jesus

into her life.(O there you are!
Moping about the beatitudes

again. Get in here!) Coiffed
prophets via heavensent TV
proclaim. Themselves. Huck

Finn's daddy saw the light, later
scratched awake with the hogs.

Trio


ME
I don't know why we’re meeting here.
A dump! Weeds and beercans and rubbers, yuk!

P
Because we want you to join us up there!

ME
Why me? I've got a readership of seven or so.

VP
You're the last on the list. Working towards the top.

P
See how pretty it is up there?

VP
The high ground!

ME
Even prettier now! Clouds scalloped gold, with interiors
like boiling purples and pinks. And all those gorgeous
homes in shafts of buttery light!

P
Well, never mind all that language stuff! Whatuhyuhsay?

ME
Only that many there condone murder and grind the poor.

VP
Put F next to his name. For faggot.

What the Future Holds

Max Tresham Glaxo, serial philanderer, has agreed to be shot by his wife on Fox Television.

“She nabbed me again, on DVD yet, and I can’t go through another gang of lawyers or rehabs. I’m sexed out and rehabbed out and lawyered out and finished! Been hell of a slide!” a sleep-deprived Mr Glaxo exclaimed from his new west side bachelor apartment, looking more ruin than Romeo.

“We’re talking class here,” stated Fox VP, Randall Nucker, at yesterday’s press conference, “physician in attendance, and I’m lining up Albany Philharmonic.”

Wronged wife, Ruth, intimated that she has just taken delivery of a custom Glock handgun, silver-filagreed with a spiral of crosses after her favorite charity, The American Red Cross. “I wanted Salvation Army too, but they sign off on anything to do with firearms.”

When the live show will air remains somewhat uncertain. “After the kiddies go beddie-bye for the night, that’s for sure,” remarked Nucker off camera. If you have to pixilate everything,
what’s the use?”

Target Max proves remarkably cool to his place in television history. “Hey! Give the old broad her shot,
and Fox its ratings. Who gives a crap about anything?”

At Cross Purposes

Like Love Idiot A, total-
ly frustrated trying
to get Love Idiot B

understanding anything!
Hey,leaving C--whom

you certainly don't--& you at
6s & 7s. In such agitation

your promise holds promise.
Shove the exchange down
until you can think about it.

& eventually...?
Won't work. You've lost

& don't even know what.
Move on?

On? Up? Down? No use asking
Life what force field it's
working.

The History Channel Too

protects me. Little boy
runs naked into northern
lake. Family picnic for-

getting murder-
ous Stalingrad. His
little gherkin has been

newly,coyly,pixilated.
I'm aided morally on

lower channels from any
possibility of breasts.

Or plumbers' cracks plus
only somewhat more attractive

regions. What have we become
under these fuckin Republicans?

Marrying a Nice Jewish (or whatever)...

Many do,
in that parallel u-

niverse of good
boys & girls.

Say what you want

but pulling up
your pants can-

not be done
with grace as

both think had
again.

Iraq Dialog



This is a literal madhouse!

Only if you're reality based.

You promised to improve conditions and
have made them infinitely worse.

Have a gin and tonic. Have twenty!

Why? Is the party making gin now?

Cynicism is so cheap! Whereas we're
all heart.

Excuse the my shiver at that. I like
feeling my limbs while they're still here.

Shut up a fuckin minute, will you? Whew!
I just had, I guess, an idea! So that's
what it feels like? Sex! No wonder
you guys have so many.

Procession

Ah Right proves Majesty,striding
the high road in robes,dispensing

Wisdom's Proverbs and clipped
judicious tips to those below,
plus warnings to behave

for Libertine and Moor.
It's Dr Johnson scold-

ing Boswell. And Boswell
scolding whores. As Royal

Train proceeds to pasts en-
wrapped in dusts of gold!

The Better Angel


Look! We’re under orders from Leadership. Shoot
the fuckin thing!

How can I be sure?

What the hell are you talking about?
It looks just like the holy picture.
You can’t fuckin miss! Even you!

And it’s in the chamber?

Stalking, the feathered prick.

But the noise!

Get in there now! They’re all screaming!

I...never killed a holy thing before.

Do your duty, asshole!

The Better Angel

Look! We’re under orders from the leadership.
Shoot the fuckin thing!

How can I be sure?

What the hell are you talking about?
It looks just like the holy picture.
You can’t fuckin miss! Even you!

And it’s in the chamber.

Stalking, the feathered prick.

But the noise!

Get in there now! They’re all screaming!

I..never killed a holy thing before.

Do your duty, asshole!

President of Neighborhood Association



Well, he's jerking off up there with a difference. They find God that way.

Oh come on, Assistant Chief Talbot! Kids smoking pot. A pervert shits on
a freezing day and then admires the steam...?

Him we'll take in, and then we have people to call.

But Assistant Chief Talbot!

Again, that’s Assistant to the Chief Talbot, and we’re not looking for a civil rights suit.

What am I supposed to do? Open a room in my house for him to pull it?

No good. Has to be outdoors. Their gods are up there. Lots of environmental
crapola blended in.

Gods? A self-respecting dog wouldn't scratch his ass. Weeds and beercans and rubbers.
We go up every week to rake it out. Oh well, Assistant Ch...To!-– nothing as important
as getting your title right.

Little things are big things.

Association might have to vote to pave it over.

If you do, their legal team comes in. They did in Lower Fairmont. Freedom of Religion Clause.

They knew what to pitch there, where faded hippies play government.

Whatever. In Upper Fairmont lawyers said Endangered Species. Some super roach or something.
Oldest thing in world.

That's not correct. The oldest thing in the world is bullshit.

No use when friend’s entrapped

by double-playing slut of either sex.
Intervene,you’ll get informed as to

feelings uncorrupted that you lack.
So catch a breath & wait. The bottom
thrusts up fast to meet the falling.

Then,no seminars with you! More like
let’s split & get a brew. Just

listen while the victim spews.
Don’t even nod.

For the spongeformed &
future scoop could prove
“We’re trying it again!”

In seamanship, there’s
The Cape of Good Hope,

& (in baseball, too, oddly)
Around the Horn.

Sam,You've Made The Right Punks Long

Our Guy,
Our way.

End of
Rag.

Other guy,
Activist

Fag.

So it goes

that “for the 1st quarter of
a mile he'll only charge
a pretty girl a smile.”

(Reference: Rickshaw Man)
While elsewhere,pretty
remains a currency

some women par-
lay. With men,
coyly soft vest-

al interns get smacked macho
on the ass,like foot-
ball players. Homo-

sexuality? In American
Business,that latency
much the least.

Little American Ways


I liked Merits when I was at USC.

When your testimony has merit...?

Well,anyway,thanks for this generic one. It's good.

Anything else you want?...to trade for that is.

USC football scores? When I'm to be released from this stupidity?

The scores for a bit of intelligence. If I get the smallest jigsaw piece my superiors will let me soften things a bit more.

Loved Tastycakes when I did grad work at Penn.

We don't have Penn on your record. Thank you.

Welcome. But another example of ineptitude,if I may be allowed to say so.

Anyway, less attitude, more information will eventually drop you in that same block in Rome we borrowed you from.
Or even your home country if that's your wish.

I don't know. I'm getting used to this orange suit.

Uh huh. Well,I'll have to pass the baton soon.

To the bad cop,of course. I suppose he'll have a creative use for it.

Is your Arabic as good?

Your little American ways might get me to speak it. From a nightmare, I suppose. Better find a translator.

Duty

So Righties infiltrate
poor Moderates,form-
ing,both,a line of

hopping,screwing
toads. Principle

can be like this,un-
attractive operation

and compromising so
you close your eyes,

since cues are physical,
& pray for its cessation.
God notes everything but

can't spare the time
for small-time slime.

The Parties Chat


Look! We both know you stole Ohio. The statistical anomalies have the math boys babbling!

Next they'll be choking on it. Love that sound!

But,someday your master programmer might suffer a fit of conscience?

Then we'll just paint him as another scatty porno Lefty asshole-academic. Plus throw queer into the bargain. If it's not already there.

Kick the slime machine into higher gear?

Sell you the manual when the cycle switches.

Could be sooner than you think.

Hey! Waging the outside war, or the inside war. Both are great! Our lead agenda is the same. How do we expose the intellectuals? Answer,by leaving them alone.

Despicable! Why do we like each other?

There's a solidarity of all those who trash souls,especially their own.

Now...and forever?

Gold Dust Twins of Burlesque.

Oil Dialog,w/Gratuity

Of course the issues are complex! We in the Senate have faced similar issues,do every day. Could I just get you to close your briefing book,with its multitudinous arguments justifying such unbelievable prices and profits,and give the American people a simple conclusion they can hang their hat on?

We will fuck you till your eyes smoke.

Thank you!

Short Dialog with Logical Conclusion

The reform was corrupt? I thought you reformed something
because it WAS corrupt.

Good Christ you're a dope!

High Art In Low Places

2 Fat Guys cavort
in commercials,bump-

ing cars they're
selling,& each other.

Fat is funny;one's bald,
even more funny. Mega

hilarious things wind
the honest t'God core
US of A.

It's like the Jew-Ghetto thing,but positive

and most will wear it because it sends a clear message,and people,especially in the
service sector,will know how to act.

How about the middle class? Could we wear this "E" also? Smaller of course.

Well,that's by way of a bit of fantasy,yes? No law against it,but knowing one's
place is really a predicate for happiness.

We're not "Entitled?"

Not by facts. Been up your ass so long,your voices squeak. Sorry to be so brutally frank,
but I'm no politician,and thus don't have to lie to you.

But how about mobility, Middle to Upper,Lower to...?

Please! Locked into their lascivious world of intemperate screwing,booze,and drugs?
They wish to go nowhere! And not sinking to them constitutes your only triumph.
We applaud it!

Well...still might wear it,my E. Haven't made up my mind.

That's the attitude,that mushy truculence,we count on.

Thank you anyway.

Of course.

The Hazards of Scholarship

Jerome Shucktice moved to Ludge, Iowa, expressly to
flee the city's jealousies and backstabbing. Most of
his trouble came from mastery of the Galladine, a
stringed instrument from the Hittite civilization.

Deceived others attempted to advertise similar
knowledge, flaunting, too, pitiful musicianship.
He refrained from comment, and they, therefore,
savaged him.

He planned--another reason for rusticating in
Ludge--a satirical novel in response.

And, though he wouldn’t pander to let it be known, he
smiled inwardly about being the leading intellect
there.

A few weeks after settlement on his quaint
fisherman's cottage on the river, Galladine on Lower
Pea-Bosk he named it, a notice on the library bulletin
board stopped his breath.

LUDGE'S OWN AMY DRESH NETTLES WILL
PERFORM ON THE GALLADINE AND DISCUSS
HER NOVEL FEATURING THAT ANCIENT
INSTRUMENT

He noted the date, and since no one knew him, went.
To what end? Laugh inwardly? Pile scorn when he
later developed friends? Perhaps even to “praise” a
local with an A-minus for effort.

The audience proved to be a collection of retired
farmers and their wives, plus two bookish fabric store
clerks who shared an apartment, and
had requested the day off to attend.

An outsized buzz as the lady entered, for she wasn't
a person, really. Well not by most definitions.

But rather, a life-form. Sort of a green, Jello-ish
amoeba flowing under Jerome’s chair and raised feet,
and finally bending onto a platform-- looking at that
point like something from a Dali painting. One farmer
cleared his throat.

The librarian rested the stringed instrument on this
shapelessness, and some kind of protuberances rose to
strum bizarre chords.

Since he fainted along in here, Jerome never did find
out how she read, but he did revive after Amy Dresh
Nettles slid her departure. The fabric store fellows
lingered on their way out, playfully introducing
themselves as Don, and R. Gay Apparel, but then
breathlessly imploring him not to reveal outside the
town what he had witnessed.

MR COUNSEL

Static says you don't like blacks.

This country went to hell when we give the dinge
the bicycle,and the women the vote.

All I got left is counsel posts in Africa.

I be overcomin'!

Intrigues

A mega fog traps us
in Budapest. It's

probably in the depths
of the Cold War. Spies

abound & ravenous
women coax secrets
where none exist.

They know their stuff
when no one else does.

The Hungarians refuse
to accept our goodness
on its face. After

bitching,we're free
to go,warily. Where's

the catch? Simply,
a dirty business--All

Americans await
transport.

MR AMBASSADOR


Okay,once more. Benbow gave you the check on May 12?

Absolutely right!

It came from Luffington in his capacity of CEO,or whatever,of Consortium For Moral
Government?

Yes. Good. You're getting it straightened out!

I am? Don't think so. Benbow and his gombahs were in Corfu for the entire period,
enforcing his contractual share in a Mafia vineyard.

Maybe direct from Luffington? I remember his face acutely.

Better forget it. Up on child molestation rap in West Virginia.

I never trusted him. Never!

Look! I am passing you on. You've lied about ten times,but regarding crap. Get together
with your attorneys,and at least tighten timelines. And,of course,you don't personally know
anything about any check. Don't worry.Your senator is right now trading for softball questions.

Got through hearings before. And unanimously!

Yeah? Well wave a furious flag in your opening statement.

I'm a patriot. I am,really.

Trading one flyshit Asian country for another shouldn't be this big a deal.

A Different History

My parents' time,
with the cars so
black and square,

like huge stoves.
Did Mother wear
a flapper dress? I

think not,but nearly.
Coy Father got her somehow
into speaks.

They danced to ragtime,drank
and smoked. At parties,gin

is made in bathtubs
and everybody chips in

to pay someone's rent.
Crooners crack

their voices and
hearts fill more
than now.

They Were Funny

together,Professors D & G. In language and in act-out ways!

After our California picnic, D rushed up the tower's
stairs. "I'm Kim Novak in Vertigo and you're
poor,deluded,and dizzy Jimmy Stewart chasing me!"

Then he shrieked C over C,hit a weakly-barred window and left.

The priest helps us phone the few local friends,and we all inch out to the roof
with the nun and Officer Alcott,taking the ladder to hold onto.

At the body, Wingo screams "No!"and faints. We have to grab him sliding down the
chattering tiles.

"Had a larger brain,all right," opines Prof G after the excitement.

Fuel Prices


GOP

Hey! Don't apply here. We're for the screwers. You knew
that when you came onboard. Complain to the wandering
opposition if you have nothing better to do.

Or pray,Asshole.


DEMS

I see. And,yes,it does seem unfair. Ah...perhaps a
commission to look into things?

You don't need one to see how roundly you are
being fucked?

Well,wouldn't put it quite that way,but we
understand the point.

Have you read Erskine on monopoly pricing? Benpaw
on...?