Thursday, April 30, 2009


Rocco and Angie the Animal

The broads on TV News is too nervous. They're like violin strings. I can't stand it!

I don't hafta ask your solution.

Just go look at my girlfriend at the bakery, always laughing and smiling. People go way off their routes just to see her.

And that's because you keep her that way?

I don't like to brag.

And the pinched, strident ladies vibrating on TV?

Like chalk screeching on a blackboard!

How many can you handle?

Well only one at at time. Hour before broadcast, I'll pop her.
Zip up and move out.

Not very romantic.

Ain't what we're talking about.

Have you written any network presidents?

That's too formal a way. I ain't formal.

What if it doesn’t work?

What's that suit guy say on commercials? I guarantee it!

Rocco runs his Meet and Greet all over South Philadelphia.
Solutions are often proposed.


Wednesday, April 29, 2009


With an immense flow of Arab* immigrants
into The Republican Confederacy. Thence
fanning out in succeeding generations
to turn bordering states & The West


Bring in The Mosque Monkeys!

*Contrary to what the American Right used to confidently assert, the Muslim world does not hate "our way of life," but rather loves the idea of democracy and loves US media. What they say they don't like is a lot of sleeping around and tolerance of gays; in other words, Muslim public opinion is not so different from that of many Americans in the deep red states. -Juan Cole

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Tuesday, April 28, 2009


Coordinator answers a question

We figured this is the time. Under virulently anti-union Republicans,
too many hurdles.

Funny thing, we have our own Republicans, trying to sabotage
the effort and conferring hourly with management. And our own
liberal Democrats, wanting to smash things up rather than negotiate
with what they call Plutocrats.

The latter want to throw dust everywhere; the former just a pinch.
So, that follows historically, I guess.

Oh well, we'll reconcile. Stranger factions have.

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Monday, April 27, 2009

Again! Who Needs Truth?

is all.*

*Iraqi women are struggling to regain the rights they lost with
the American occupation, which was marketed to the US public
as a liberation of Iraqi women!
-Juan Cole

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Sunday, April 26, 2009


Before TV burgeoned into cable,
language experts claimed
dialects would merge

and everybody would talk
like an NBC announcer.

To hear how that turned out,
listen to any call-in show.

I do, and it stirs enough
prejudice to start a nation.

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Saturday, April 25, 2009


-They shut off the water!

-Just about in the entire world. Well, I warned years ago that
The Oligarchy gave up on oil and switched to water.

-But what’ll I do?

-Not a bad-looking TV. Get a kid to help you haul it out to the street.
Guys are selling water from pickups. Probably give you a case for it.

-But why did they turn off the water?

-To show they can. Then they’ll quadruple the rates
and there won’t be a peep.

-But you’re a government official and...

-That’s a laugh. What government? I go through the motions
for old time’s sake.

-It’s anarchy now!

-That’s another laugh. Ten times worse. Total chaos! Everybody getting
a chance to shoot his gun. And when bullets run out, you beat the crap
out of anyone weaker.

-But all this violent insanity can’t benefit anyone.

-The billionaires think it can...trillionaires some of them.

-But this is America!

-That’s the third laugh you gave me! You’re an old comedian!

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Friday, April 24, 2009

Warning: Treats American Business; therefore, profanity and vulgarity.

At Credit Card HQ

-Let me sit behind you a sec. Now put up map of late charges
on your lovely screen. Good, zoom into upper Peninsula
of Michigan. Now, whatta y’see?

-Not one late charge! Amazing! Probably lots of retired farts.

-Most likely, but we hafta goose revenues there! Do it!

-But how? Hands tied.

-Your office logs in mail daily, right?

-Of course, and that’s what I mean by...

-Note that I pick up a mail bag. Say it’s from those zips. I toss it in the
corner. Thus! And one day late on these payments, I discover it?
Oh dear oh dearie dear, I’ll hafta charge a late fee now. What a shame!

-They’ll bitch!

-Ten per cent will and we’ll refund them. Not worth the phone time,
even of Mumbai spicks. But ninety percent won’t. And they should have the satisfaction of knowing they’re taking it up the ass for American fuckin
Capitalism! They’re patriots!

-What‘s that picture where they’re marching with the flute and the drum
and the flag?


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Thursday, April 23, 2009

To Tea Baggers

Hey you’re pissed!
You lost. Get over it!
as your ilk reminded me

in gleeful humor for
8 years of illegitimacy

1st foisted by a botulistic
court. But, couldn’t quite

find fiscal outrage under Bush,
could you? Grandkids not
being bankrupted then?

At any rate, can’t fathom, really,
why GOP even ran, having left
almost nothing to plunder.

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Wednesday, April 22, 2009


Twenty*–a Bailout Sample

Corkscrews by ordinary practice, so
obviously sucked berserking
wine in such gonzo circumstance.

*A government watchdog has launched "almost 20" criminal investigations
related to the $700 billion financial bailout program...

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Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Right Thinking

Guns required
to protect a-

gainst those
residing un-
der bridges,

who can be
picked off
one by one.


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Monday, April 20, 2009

Promoting GOP Death March

-Fox is aftermathing their tea parties.

-What else is news?

-Hannity says twenty thousand in Atlanta.

-That means five, still not bad. Better than
Sherman brought out there.

-What’s the difference, size of crowd?

-Hafta know beforehand. So you can paint logo on turnip trucks.

-And what would that be?

-Gumby staring at its ass.


Sunday, April 19, 2009



-Welcome to he profession!

-Shaw said each one was a conspiracy, and John Stewart Mill said he never saw a professional discussion that didn’t get around to fleecing the public.

-See that beautiful standalone building we're approaching?
Our headquarters. And once you cross the threshold...

-I understand.

-Rather automatic really.


Saturday, April 18, 2009

Bush-Os Mouth Off

Not on their dime,
but they’re jumping

the shark far
past its time.

It rots into slime.

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Friday, April 17, 2009


-One of the side effects is death and that's what he got.

-Christ! A little pill to nourish his aging dick!

-Dangerous world.

-And I'm guessing I put check in the widow's hand tomorrow,
before she hires attorney?

-Bingo! Called "Fucking the Widow!"

-If I'm lucky!

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Thursday, April 16, 2009

Short Teabagging Q&A

Isn't there an unfortunate symbolic mishmash between
patriotic practice and the sexual one?

Not really. Those kind of teabaggers couldn't exceed twenty
percent of the movement.

Don't you find it disturbing that Fox News took an
activist role, even beyond their usual RNC Cheerleading?

Leave them alone. They're funny!


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Speech

Worked on my speech aiming it towards
roads, infrastructure, solid stuff.

My cell rang and it was the foreman
asking me to come up to the upper forty.

I got there and confirmed an ox had been gored.

When I got back, I threw away the speech and
wrote another invoking the Founding
Fathers, freedom, honor, justice--
all the good shit.


Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Two Libertarians

-Man you were our thunderer against government interference. Thunderer!

-Well, some softer sentiments also.

-If you can label caustic wit thus. At any rate, you blasted government interference, and now you welcome Uncle, opening wide the door.

-If he's carrying bushels of cash, why not?

-Don't you see any hypocrisy?

-A ton, but I can live with it. You?

-Like water off a duck's ass!

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Monday, April 13, 2009


-I put the bullets in there. Can you put ‘em in backwards?

-No. You’re okay. First thing, take a course and learn how to...

-Shit! Spose to go off like that? Scared the crap outa...
Hey you all right? Say something. Just went fuckin off
I didn’t do anything! You’re kidding, right?
Teach me lesson? Don’t kid about something like this!
Come on now! Jesus!


Sunday, April 12, 2009


Ladies forget their clothes
in the dryer. One must
fetch them out and therein

a conflict: They don't want
meaty paws on underthings.
Insoluble, except in heaven

where machines run incessantly
to keep angels presentable.


Saturday, April 11, 2009

Real Estate-ese

Vibrant Neighborhood


Quiet Neighborhood


Up and Coming Neighborhood



Friday, April 10, 2009

At the Great Fiesta

Pickpockets worked the crowd.
So many that screams of

the dispossessed formed waves
of sickening dopplers.

Peasants wandered the chaos
seeking lost pants. Whores
had dropped them in fleeing,

and boys got a penny from merchants
who sold them back on usurious

terms after ridiculing penis
size to joyous drunks.

Mountebanks shouted
to regain the audience.


Thursday, April 09, 2009

Rocco and the Irishman

-Hey Ticky Toole! Our Irishman! Harp from Harrowgate.
Shanty Irish: Shit in the bed and kick it out!

-Faith and fuckin begorra, Wop!

-How are all the Reagan Democrats and other traitors?

-Hey, give us a break! The hippies were queering our sons so
we opted for the union busters. Made common cause with
John Birch Society.

-How'd that work out?

-Like any con. But Republicans threw in the sponge this time.
Nothing left to steal, I guess.

-You learn anything?

-No. Too thick. Even thicker than you ghinnies.

-Sorry. We lead that index hands down. And we display it!
No seething like cold Harps. How could any woman
marry you icebergs?

-They never learn neither! Well, skipping such happy
horseshit, how about Conservatives now that I aren’t one?

-My old, enduring image is of a dog eating its tail.

-And now that they're out?


Rocco takes on everyone in the non-PC environs of South Philadelphia

Wednesday, April 08, 2009


CSPAN has a bought
mouth from Heritage

or Enterprise. It froths
and spits, curving
right. Haughty

at being final-
y out.

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Tuesday, April 07, 2009


-I'm being told that people with pitchforks'll be coming
for us.

-Metaphor for the pissed, disorganized, and impotent.

-Nonetheless, I'm changing the bonus setup. Six-Month
Jumbo CD appears in your account.

-Lousy rates now.

-Special fifteen-percent return this one time.

-That's decent. But I'll still hafta move the boat
purchase six months ahead. Just a modest one
for Boca. Few hundred thou.

-Borrow from us.

-Don’t wish to be brutalized.

-What price loyalty?

-What was that word? Last time I looked
we were both bankers.

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Monday, April 06, 2009

Cramer Dismantled By Jon Stewart

So what? Not a bad dude. Like
others, grew drunk from
bubbles, bobbed high

on corporate gas, inhaling.
We are all just prisoners here,
of our own device. Hooked on

toxic Republican whore-
shit, mocked real jobs thus
by camping theirs. What’s

next? & how
many’ll camp up

The Dance of Death?--
Capital’s Corpse rises

now, beckoning us
to hold hands a-
cross quicklime.

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Sunday, April 05, 2009


Just flippant for now.
World in deep shit &
I crack wise. Orwell

says we put on mask, face
grows to it. Coy admon-

ishing today re falling
into "Lifestyle." Who

coined that fatuity? How
'bout getting by? Way one
LOOKS doing thus depends

on whether Gods
need a laugh that day.


Saturday, April 04, 2009

The History of The War

Some young trust
the old and patriots
become. Others

parody, being
a form of cabaret.

Later the two brisk sects
voice solidarity
in bitterness,

taking a cup together.
The loyal old soldier

on, fat belief thinned
to Hobson’s Choice.


Friday, April 03, 2009

GOP Light That Failed

-Let's spend it all!

-And then some.

-When the bleeding hearts get in, there's
no dough for their blacks and spicks and...

-tree huggers!


Thursday, April 02, 2009

Economic Flaw

Well I understand the catastrophe
is my fault too. Great Expectations.

However, I don't believe
I'm a true, actual outlaw.

So it's a question of degree.
& of fantastical thieves.


Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Power Brands

Masters of the Universe?
Best and Brightest?

Went the way of Master
Race, didn't they? For

The Smartest
Guy in the Room

proves to be the muted,
wily one, not

disposed to tooting horns.
Truth always waits, wades
through glistening shit.


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