Thursday, April 30, 2009
Rocco and Angie the Animal
ANGIE the ANIMAL
The broads on TV News is too nervous. They're like violin strings. I can't stand it!
ROCCO
I don't hafta ask your solution.
AA
Just go look at my girlfriend at the bakery, always laughing and smiling. People go way off their routes just to see her.
ROCCO
And that's because you keep her that way?
AA
I don't like to brag.
ROCCO
And the pinched, strident ladies vibrating on TV?
AA
Like chalk screeching on a blackboard!
ROCCO
How many can you handle?
AA
Well only one at at time. Hour before broadcast, I'll pop her.
Zip up and move out.
ROCCO
Not very romantic.
AA
Ain't what we're talking about.
ROCCO
Have you written any network presidents?
AA
That's too formal a way. I ain't formal.
ROCCO
What if it doesn’t work?
AA
What's that suit guy say on commercials? I guarantee it!
Rocco runs his Meet and Greet all over South Philadelphia.
Solutions are often proposed.
Labels: TV Network Women
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
SAVING THE GOP
With an immense flow of Arab* immigrants
into The Republican Confederacy. Thence
fanning out in succeeding generations
to turn bordering states & The West
ARAB-REPUBLICAN RED! Yeah! Right!
Bring in The Mosque Monkeys!
*Contrary to what the American Right used to confidently assert, the Muslim world does not hate "our way of life," but rather loves the idea of democracy and loves US media. What they say they don't like is a lot of sleeping around and tolerance of gays; in other words, Muslim public opinion is not so different from that of many Americans in the deep red states. -Juan Cole
With an immense flow of Arab* immigrants
into The Republican Confederacy. Thence
fanning out in succeeding generations
to turn bordering states & The West
ARAB-REPUBLICAN RED! Yeah! Right!
Bring in The Mosque Monkeys!
*Contrary to what the American Right used to confidently assert, the Muslim world does not hate "our way of life," but rather loves the idea of democracy and loves US media. What they say they don't like is a lot of sleeping around and tolerance of gays; in other words, Muslim public opinion is not so different from that of many Americans in the deep red states. -Juan Cole
Labels: Arab, GOP, Moslem, Republican
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
MOONDUST PIXIES FORMING UNION
Coordinator answers a question
We figured this is the time. Under virulently anti-union Republicans,
too many hurdles.
Funny thing, we have our own Republicans, trying to sabotage
the effort and conferring hourly with management. And our own
liberal Democrats, wanting to smash things up rather than negotiate
with what they call Plutocrats.
The latter want to throw dust everywhere; the former just a pinch.
So, that follows historically, I guess.
Oh well, we'll reconcile. Stranger factions have.
Coordinator answers a question
We figured this is the time. Under virulently anti-union Republicans,
too many hurdles.
Funny thing, we have our own Republicans, trying to sabotage
the effort and conferring hourly with management. And our own
liberal Democrats, wanting to smash things up rather than negotiate
with what they call Plutocrats.
The latter want to throw dust everywhere; the former just a pinch.
So, that follows historically, I guess.
Oh well, we'll reconcile. Stranger factions have.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Again! Who Needs Truth?
When
Marketing
is all.*
*Iraqi women are struggling to regain the rights they lost with
the American occupation, which was marketed to the US public
as a liberation of Iraqi women!
-Juan Cole
When
Marketing
is all.*
*Iraqi women are struggling to regain the rights they lost with
the American occupation, which was marketed to the US public
as a liberation of Iraqi women!
-Juan Cole
Labels: American Occupation, Iraqi Women
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Accent
Before TV burgeoned into cable,
language experts claimed
dialects would merge
and everybody would talk
like an NBC announcer.
To hear how that turned out,
listen to any call-in show.
I do, and it stirs enough
prejudice to start a nation.
Before TV burgeoned into cable,
language experts claimed
dialects would merge
and everybody would talk
like an NBC announcer.
To hear how that turned out,
listen to any call-in show.
I do, and it stirs enough
prejudice to start a nation.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Water
-They shut off the water!
-Just about in the entire world. Well, I warned years ago that
The Oligarchy gave up on oil and switched to water.
-But what’ll I do?
-Not a bad-looking TV. Get a kid to help you haul it out to the street.
Guys are selling water from pickups. Probably give you a case for it.
-But why did they turn off the water?
-To show they can. Then they’ll quadruple the rates
and there won’t be a peep.
-But you’re a government official and...
-That’s a laugh. What government? I go through the motions
for old time’s sake.
-It’s anarchy now!
-That’s another laugh. Ten times worse. Total chaos! Everybody getting
a chance to shoot his gun. And when bullets run out, you beat the crap
out of anyone weaker.
-But all this violent insanity can’t benefit anyone.
-The billionaires think it can...trillionaires some of them.
-But this is America!
-That’s the third laugh you gave me! You’re an old comedian!
-They shut off the water!
-Just about in the entire world. Well, I warned years ago that
The Oligarchy gave up on oil and switched to water.
-But what’ll I do?
-Not a bad-looking TV. Get a kid to help you haul it out to the street.
Guys are selling water from pickups. Probably give you a case for it.
-But why did they turn off the water?
-To show they can. Then they’ll quadruple the rates
and there won’t be a peep.
-But you’re a government official and...
-That’s a laugh. What government? I go through the motions
for old time’s sake.
-It’s anarchy now!
-That’s another laugh. Ten times worse. Total chaos! Everybody getting
a chance to shoot his gun. And when bullets run out, you beat the crap
out of anyone weaker.
-But all this violent insanity can’t benefit anyone.
-The billionaires think it can...trillionaires some of them.
-But this is America!
-That’s the third laugh you gave me! You’re an old comedian!
Labels: anarchy, chaos, oligarchy, water, water in future
Friday, April 24, 2009
Warning: Treats American Business; therefore, profanity and vulgarity.
At Credit Card HQ
-Let me sit behind you a sec. Now put up map of late charges
on your lovely screen. Good, zoom into upper Peninsula
of Michigan. Now, whatta y’see?
-Not one late charge! Amazing! Probably lots of retired farts.
-Most likely, but we hafta goose revenues there! Do it!
-But how? Hands tied.
-Your office logs in mail daily, right?
-Of course, and that’s what I mean by...
-Note that I pick up a mail bag. Say it’s from those zips. I toss it in the
corner. Thus! And one day late on these payments, I discover it?
Oh dear oh dearie dear, I’ll hafta charge a late fee now. What a shame!
-They’ll bitch!
-Ten per cent will and we’ll refund them. Not worth the phone time,
even of Mumbai spicks. But ninety percent won’t. And they should have the satisfaction of knowing they’re taking it up the ass for American fuckin
Capitalism! They’re patriots!
-What‘s that picture where they’re marching with the flute and the drum
and the flag?
-Exactly!
At Credit Card HQ
-Let me sit behind you a sec. Now put up map of late charges
on your lovely screen. Good, zoom into upper Peninsula
of Michigan. Now, whatta y’see?
-Not one late charge! Amazing! Probably lots of retired farts.
-Most likely, but we hafta goose revenues there! Do it!
-But how? Hands tied.
-Your office logs in mail daily, right?
-Of course, and that’s what I mean by...
-Note that I pick up a mail bag. Say it’s from those zips. I toss it in the
corner. Thus! And one day late on these payments, I discover it?
Oh dear oh dearie dear, I’ll hafta charge a late fee now. What a shame!
-They’ll bitch!
-Ten per cent will and we’ll refund them. Not worth the phone time,
even of Mumbai spicks. But ninety percent won’t. And they should have the satisfaction of knowing they’re taking it up the ass for American fuckin
Capitalism! They’re patriots!
-What‘s that picture where they’re marching with the flute and the drum
and the flag?
-Exactly!
Labels: banks, credit cards
Thursday, April 23, 2009
To Tea Baggers
Hey you’re pissed!
You lost. Get over it!
as your ilk reminded me
in gleeful humor for
8 years of illegitimacy
1st foisted by a botulistic
court. But, couldn’t quite
find fiscal outrage under Bush,
could you? Grandkids not
being bankrupted then?
At any rate, can’t fathom, really,
why GOP even ran, having left
almost nothing to plunder.
Hey you’re pissed!
You lost. Get over it!
as your ilk reminded me
in gleeful humor for
8 years of illegitimacy
1st foisted by a botulistic
court. But, couldn’t quite
find fiscal outrage under Bush,
could you? Grandkids not
being bankrupted then?
At any rate, can’t fathom, really,
why GOP even ran, having left
almost nothing to plunder.
Labels: Supreme Court, tea baggers, tea parties
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Twenty*–a Bailout Sample
Corkscrews by ordinary practice, so
obviously sucked berserking
wine in such gonzo circumstance.
*A government watchdog has launched "almost 20" criminal investigations
related to the $700 billion financial bailout program... -USA TODAY
Labels: auto bailout, bailout crooks
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Right Thinking
Guns required
to protect a-
gainst those
residing un-
der bridges,
who can be
picked off
one by one.
Appetizers.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Promoting GOP Death March
-Fox is aftermathing their tea parties.
-What else is news?
-Hannity says twenty thousand in Atlanta.
-That means five, still not bad. Better than
Sherman brought out there.
-What’s the difference, size of crowd?
-Hafta know beforehand. So you can paint logo on turnip trucks.
-And what would that be?
-Gumby staring at its ass.
-Fox is aftermathing their tea parties.
-What else is news?
-Hannity says twenty thousand in Atlanta.
-That means five, still not bad. Better than
Sherman brought out there.
-What’s the difference, size of crowd?
-Hafta know beforehand. So you can paint logo on turnip trucks.
-And what would that be?
-Gumby staring at its ass.
Labels: tea party
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Professionals
-Welcome to he profession!
-Shaw said each one was a conspiracy, and John Stewart Mill said he never saw a professional discussion that didn’t get around to fleecing the public.
-See that beautiful standalone building we're approaching?
Our headquarters. And once you cross the threshold...
-I understand.
-Rather automatic really.
Labels: profession
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Bush-Os Mouth Off
Not on their dime,
but they’re jumping
the shark far
past its time.
It rots into slime.
Not on their dime,
but they’re jumping
the shark far
past its time.
It rots into slime.
Labels: Jumping Shark, Republican
Friday, April 17, 2009
Settling
-One of the side effects is death and that's what he got.
-Christ! A little pill to nourish his aging dick!
-Dangerous world.
-And I'm guessing I put check in the widow's hand tomorrow,
before she hires attorney?
-Bingo! Called "Fucking the Widow!"
-If I'm lucky!
-One of the side effects is death and that's what he got.
-Christ! A little pill to nourish his aging dick!
-Dangerous world.
-And I'm guessing I put check in the widow's hand tomorrow,
before she hires attorney?
-Bingo! Called "Fucking the Widow!"
-If I'm lucky!
Labels: insurance, side effects
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Short Teabagging Q&A
Isn't there an unfortunate symbolic mishmash between
patriotic practice and the sexual one?
Not really. Those kind of teabaggers couldn't exceed twenty
percent of the movement.
Don't you find it disturbing that Fox News took an
activist role, even beyond their usual RNC Cheerleading?
Leave them alone. They're funny!
Isn't there an unfortunate symbolic mishmash between
patriotic practice and the sexual one?
Not really. Those kind of teabaggers couldn't exceed twenty
percent of the movement.
Don't you find it disturbing that Fox News took an
activist role, even beyond their usual RNC Cheerleading?
Leave them alone. They're funny!
Labels: teabagging
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
The Speech
Worked on my speech aiming it towards
roads, infrastructure, solid stuff.
My cell rang and it was the foreman
asking me to come up to the upper forty.
I got there and confirmed an ox had been gored.
When I got back, I threw away the speech and
wrote another invoking the Founding
Fathers, freedom, honor, justice--
all the good shit.
Worked on my speech aiming it towards
roads, infrastructure, solid stuff.
My cell rang and it was the foreman
asking me to come up to the upper forty.
I got there and confirmed an ox had been gored.
When I got back, I threw away the speech and
wrote another invoking the Founding
Fathers, freedom, honor, justice--
all the good shit.
Labels: ox gored
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Two Libertarians
-Man you were our thunderer against government interference. Thunderer!
-Well, some softer sentiments also.
-If you can label caustic wit thus. At any rate, you blasted government interference, and now you welcome Uncle, opening wide the door.
-If he's carrying bushels of cash, why not?
-Don't you see any hypocrisy?
-A ton, but I can live with it. You?
-Like water off a duck's ass!
-Man you were our thunderer against government interference. Thunderer!
-Well, some softer sentiments also.
-If you can label caustic wit thus. At any rate, you blasted government interference, and now you welcome Uncle, opening wide the door.
-If he's carrying bushels of cash, why not?
-Don't you see any hypocrisy?
-A ton, but I can live with it. You?
-Like water off a duck's ass!
Labels: Libertarian, Libertarian Republican
Monday, April 13, 2009
Guns
-I put the bullets in there. Can you put ‘em in backwards?
-No. You’re okay. First thing, take a course and learn how to...
-Shit! Spose to go off like that? Scared the crap outa...
Hey you all right? Say something. Just went fuckin off
I didn’t do anything! You’re kidding, right?
Teach me lesson? Don’t kid about something like this!
Come on now! Jesus!
-I put the bullets in there. Can you put ‘em in backwards?
-No. You’re okay. First thing, take a course and learn how to...
-Shit! Spose to go off like that? Scared the crap outa...
Hey you all right? Say something. Just went fuckin off
I didn’t do anything! You’re kidding, right?
Teach me lesson? Don’t kid about something like this!
Come on now! Jesus!
Labels: guns
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Laundry
Ladies forget their clothes
in the dryer. One must
fetch them out and therein
a conflict: They don't want
meaty paws on underthings.
Insoluble, except in heaven
where machines run incessantly
to keep angels presentable.
Ladies forget their clothes
in the dryer. One must
fetch them out and therein
a conflict: They don't want
meaty paws on underthings.
Insoluble, except in heaven
where machines run incessantly
to keep angels presentable.
Labels: laundry
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Real Estate-ese
Vibrant Neighborhood
Shootings
Quiet Neighborhood
Knifings
Up and Coming Neighborhood
Both
Vibrant Neighborhood
Shootings
Quiet Neighborhood
Knifings
Up and Coming Neighborhood
Both
Labels: Real Estate
Friday, April 10, 2009
At the Great Fiesta
Pickpockets worked the crowd.
So many that screams of
the dispossessed formed waves
of sickening dopplers.
Peasants wandered the chaos
seeking lost pants. Whores
had dropped them in fleeing,
and boys got a penny from merchants
who sold them back on usurious
terms after ridiculing penis
size to joyous drunks.
Mountebanks shouted
to regain the audience.
Pickpockets worked the crowd.
So many that screams of
the dispossessed formed waves
of sickening dopplers.
Peasants wandered the chaos
seeking lost pants. Whores
had dropped them in fleeing,
and boys got a penny from merchants
who sold them back on usurious
terms after ridiculing penis
size to joyous drunks.
Mountebanks shouted
to regain the audience.
Labels: Annals of Capitalism
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Rocco and the Irishman
-Hey Ticky Toole! Our Irishman! Harp from Harrowgate.
Shanty Irish: Shit in the bed and kick it out!
-Faith and fuckin begorra, Wop!
-How are all the Reagan Democrats and other traitors?
-Hey, give us a break! The hippies were queering our sons so
we opted for the union busters. Made common cause with
John Birch Society.
-How'd that work out?
-Like any con. But Republicans threw in the sponge this time.
Nothing left to steal, I guess.
-You learn anything?
-No. Too thick. Even thicker than you ghinnies.
-Sorry. We lead that index hands down. And we display it!
No seething like cold Harps. How could any woman
marry you icebergs?
-They never learn neither! Well, skipping such happy
horseshit, how about Conservatives now that I aren’t one?
-My old, enduring image is of a dog eating its tail.
-And now that they're out?
-Rabid!
Rocco takes on everyone in the non-PC environs of South Philadelphia
-Hey Ticky Toole! Our Irishman! Harp from Harrowgate.
Shanty Irish: Shit in the bed and kick it out!
-Faith and fuckin begorra, Wop!
-How are all the Reagan Democrats and other traitors?
-Hey, give us a break! The hippies were queering our sons so
we opted for the union busters. Made common cause with
John Birch Society.
-How'd that work out?
-Like any con. But Republicans threw in the sponge this time.
Nothing left to steal, I guess.
-You learn anything?
-No. Too thick. Even thicker than you ghinnies.
-Sorry. We lead that index hands down. And we display it!
No seething like cold Harps. How could any woman
marry you icebergs?
-They never learn neither! Well, skipping such happy
horseshit, how about Conservatives now that I aren’t one?
-My old, enduring image is of a dog eating its tail.
-And now that they're out?
-Rabid!
Rocco takes on everyone in the non-PC environs of South Philadelphia
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Baseball
CSPAN has a bought
mouth from Heritage
or Enterprise. It froths
and spits, curving
right. Haughty
at being final-
y out.
CSPAN has a bought
mouth from Heritage
or Enterprise. It froths
and spits, curving
right. Haughty
at being final-
y out.
Labels: Enterprise, Heritage
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Reaction
-I'm being told that people with pitchforks'll be coming
for us.
-Metaphor for the pissed, disorganized, and impotent.
-Nonetheless, I'm changing the bonus setup. Six-Month
Jumbo CD appears in your account.
-Lousy rates now.
-Special fifteen-percent return this one time.
-That's decent. But I'll still hafta move the boat
purchase six months ahead. Just a modest one
for Boca. Few hundred thou.
-Borrow from us.
-Don’t wish to be brutalized.
-What price loyalty?
-What was that word? Last time I looked
we were both bankers.
-I'm being told that people with pitchforks'll be coming
for us.
-Metaphor for the pissed, disorganized, and impotent.
-Nonetheless, I'm changing the bonus setup. Six-Month
Jumbo CD appears in your account.
-Lousy rates now.
-Special fifteen-percent return this one time.
-That's decent. But I'll still hafta move the boat
purchase six months ahead. Just a modest one
for Boca. Few hundred thou.
-Borrow from us.
-Don’t wish to be brutalized.
-What price loyalty?
-What was that word? Last time I looked
we were both bankers.
Monday, April 06, 2009
Cramer Dismantled By Jon Stewart
So what? Not a bad dude. Like
others, grew drunk from
bubbles, bobbed high
on corporate gas, inhaling.
We are all just prisoners here,
of our own device. Hooked on
toxic Republican whore-
shit, mocked real jobs thus
by camping theirs. What’s
next? & how
many’ll camp up
The Dance of Death?--
Capital’s Corpse rises
now, beckoning us
to hold hands a-
cross quicklime.
So what? Not a bad dude. Like
others, grew drunk from
bubbles, bobbed high
on corporate gas, inhaling.
We are all just prisoners here,
of our own device. Hooked on
toxic Republican whore-
shit, mocked real jobs thus
by camping theirs. What’s
next? & how
many’ll camp up
The Dance of Death?--
Capital’s Corpse rises
now, beckoning us
to hold hands a-
cross quicklime.
Labels: bubble, Cramer, Stewart, Wall Street
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Quotidian
Just flippant for now.
World in deep shit &
I crack wise. Orwell
says we put on mask, face
grows to it. Coy admon-
ishing today re falling
into "Lifestyle." Who
coined that fatuity? How
'bout getting by? Way one
LOOKS doing thus depends
on whether Gods
need a laugh that day.
Just flippant for now.
World in deep shit &
I crack wise. Orwell
says we put on mask, face
grows to it. Coy admon-
ishing today re falling
into "Lifestyle." Who
coined that fatuity? How
'bout getting by? Way one
LOOKS doing thus depends
on whether Gods
need a laugh that day.
Labels: Lifestyle
Saturday, April 04, 2009
The History of The War
Some young trust
the old and patriots
become. Others
parody, being
a form of cabaret.
Later the two brisk sects
voice solidarity
in bitterness,
taking a cup together.
The loyal old soldier
on, fat belief thinned
to Hobson’s Choice.
Some young trust
the old and patriots
become. Others
parody, being
a form of cabaret.
Later the two brisk sects
voice solidarity
in bitterness,
taking a cup together.
The loyal old soldier
on, fat belief thinned
to Hobson’s Choice.
Labels: war
Friday, April 03, 2009
GOP Light That Failed
-Let's spend it all!
-And then some.
-When the bleeding hearts get in, there's
no dough for their blacks and spicks and...
-tree huggers!
-Let's spend it all!
-And then some.
-When the bleeding hearts get in, there's
no dough for their blacks and spicks and...
-tree huggers!
Labels: GOP
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Economic Flaw
Well I understand the catastrophe
is my fault too. Great Expectations.
However, I don't believe
I'm a true, actual outlaw.
So it's a question of degree.
& of fantastical thieves.
Well I understand the catastrophe
is my fault too. Great Expectations.
However, I don't believe
I'm a true, actual outlaw.
So it's a question of degree.
& of fantastical thieves.
Labels: Economic Disaster
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Power Brands
Masters of the Universe?
Best and Brightest?
Went the way of Master
Race, didn't they? For
The Smartest
Guy in the Room
proves to be the muted,
wily one, not
disposed to tooting horns.
Truth always waits, wades
through glistening shit.
Masters of the Universe?
Best and Brightest?
Went the way of Master
Race, didn't they? For
The Smartest
Guy in the Room
proves to be the muted,
wily one, not
disposed to tooting horns.
Truth always waits, wades
through glistening shit.
Labels: Masters of Universe
