Friday, November 30, 2018

 

Figuring


Ginger couldn’t help feeling
uneasy.

But that was her.

O wasn’t it?

“G being G!” sneers Brick to
her face back then.

Peacemaker Harsley donates
his usual “Now-now.”

Wren, always anxious, wants
to cut to the chase.

“I never understood that.
People say it and other fancy
expressions here and I…”

Perpetually Puzzled Pam!

“Uh huh? Stay with that lack of
thought!” Ginger again.

Now-nows rain from elsewhere.

Professor Charlie, who never talks
whispers that Mrs Oak shouldn’t have
have brought in this new person:
“A moron of indeterminate sex!”

“You finally encapsulate the group’s
feeling!”

We laugh. Our pharmacist said it.







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Thursday, November 29, 2018

 

Lake


Their small office swallowed
by the monster corporation,
Bookkeeper Jellybean surprised
when they got named Innovative
Unit of the Month.

Shocked, really, a month after,
when all fired. But insiders had
known that particular honor
always proved the kiss of death.

They had all gone Hollywood
during the yeasty interim, and
picked up their walking papers
dressed as actors and directors.

Not to be undone, Jellybean had
assumed Garbo’s accent.

“I vant to be alone,” pronounced she.

She got that wish in hospital for a
mild heart attack, and surrounded by
flowers she sent herself.

When she got home she treated
herself with tree mosses, one of
which proved fatal.

Through massive incompetence,
the Corporation still paid a funeral
allowance, and a nice ceremony
was held on the liquidation channel
they owned. Humongous-Deal
Charlie presiding with dignity.

Rev Nucks’ Sermon: The Way of
the Transgressor is Hard.

Indeed.

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Wednesday, November 28, 2018

 

The Women Who Choose Unconscious Men


Okay, so that’s just a headline! Some
refining required.


Was the man unconscious to begin, or
trained thusly?...


and unconscious means unaware of
responsibility.


Let’s get out of the way that some
women think the state most desirable--
managerial types mostly, though another
reaction, rare of course, has Nora M
of Fairbanks, Alaska referring to her
husband as “pretty.”


(Well, I’ve staked out the territory and
am needed elsewhere. And I prefer--
just  a sidelight--that the bedtime
outfit my girlfriend has bought me
not be called a “nighty.”)

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Tuesday, November 27, 2018

 

Funny


Jerome’s usual question:
What’s so funny?


Indeed, what his office mates
laughed at was more often
cruel. Some asinine, pretentious
individual getting humiliated,
and the like.


He was better than that.


And even when the humor
was more cosmic, restrained
himself.


Such as when the drunken
pastry chef collapsed in
death, imprinting the delicate
batter with his face.


His family baked and ate same.


So what? Primitive Christians
all felt superior to.


Nothing funny here! Move on!


Said office mates eventually
tired of explaining why...anything--
labeled him a stick.


Fair enough, until Jennifer-Jo
caught in the wind one dark
Spring workday morning.


Demonstrating, thus, the modern
equivalent of bloomers.


She apologized, as Jerome did for
witnessing this weird fluorescence
in stranger light.


The image stayed with Jerome.
Intruded, really.


He lingered in the Break Room
one day, and they laughed about
other things.


Somehow discovering each to be
passionate and driven...at additional
impromptu meetings.


Oh well, skip ahead. Who couldn’t
guess the rest?


Neighboring state had looser
laws, so they eloped there of
a weekend.


The homespun wife of the  
Justice assembled a wedding
ceremony, her perpetually-
high and Millennial son as
Best Man.


His C over C hilarity ignored
then...but roared about in stories
for children, Trevor and Cynthia,
later.


Trevor gushed that it was an old
Hollywood Romantic Comedy!


Cynthia: Same stale crap!




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Monday, November 26, 2018

 

The Pair


Told my girlfriend I’d not say much.

Apparently, though, enough...she
reported it!

Being undercover also, would you
believe?

I was super-interrogated then.

By sadistic experts.

Grill-o-rama!

As was she. Her ”Good Deed”
could hardly go unpunished.

Both transferred to entirely new
departments.

Still a couple though!

Deceit’s a glue.

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Sunday, November 25, 2018

 

The Man Who Cried When He Thought About Things


Okay, though
like most of us,
didn’t think that much.

Not often amped, thus
seldom damp. So?

Too few words
about him? Yes
and no.

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Saturday, November 24, 2018

 

The Rural Wit


so quick in skewer-
ing women n’all

other spicks! Though
Global Warmists
horse-laughed each

and every freezing day!--
getting them even hotter.

Yo! Lots of cases
everywhere must
show us how

our Rural Wit is just
The Cat’s Meow!

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Friday, November 23, 2018

 

Sheriff


-No, you’re right to report it. These are
very violent threats!

-From nowhere! I’ve hardly ever spoken
to him.

-Sounds like he hates you for being
who you are. Successful, for one.

-Nothing I can do about that.

-That’s where you’re wrong. You could
mix in a bit of fakery like the rest of us.

-Wouldn’t know how to start.

-Don’t have to. It’s a perfectly natural
process.

-If you say so.

-At any rate, I’ll have a word.

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Thursday, November 22, 2018

 

Thanksgiving 2026


As a Party we’re
enthusiastic!


The Fairy Gang
as drama-drastic, but


Jews and crowd-
ed Shades


knowing their place.
And the women
only half


blabbing! So?
Some proud day


they’ll make
the last cut.

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Wednesday, November 21, 2018

 

Occupied


Selfless
Hero had same name as


Sniveling
Collaborationist. With


FREEDOM,
wrong man hanged.


Other
blithely shrugged
into 97th year:


“That’s Life!”


Given to tears
recounting
Loves.

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Tuesday, November 20, 2018

 

Accountability


-I saw the facts and acted!
End of particular story.

-My take: You misperceived
half and fucked up remainder!

-Too pat, but let’s say you’re
somewhat right. I regret nothing.
Prevailing whining mode for others.

-What happened to Be sure you’re
right and then go ahead?

-Strike everything but the last
two words.

-Diva? Or do you just want your
ring kissed?

-Too busy for literary conclusions.
At any rate, I’ve been wrong, yes.
Will be in future.

-We don’t accept…!

-You assholes are locked in a talky;
I remain with the silent film.

-Melodrama!

-Maybe it’s that or lights out.

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Monday, November 19, 2018

 

Who We Are


-Your latest group selfie is
rooty-toot military! The men
lantern-jawed, the women
sentry-alert, but corn-fed.


-So damn wholesome it leads
me to wanna warmly pee!


-I suppose it’s a welcome break
from manning the phones.


-That’s mostly robots. Selfie crews
come from Central Casting.


-Oh well, the products you hawk
legitimate enough, if absurdly
overpriced.


-So shoddy that one’s gaze alone
is enough to hasten their
disintegration!


-And the ironclad refund
guarantee?


-Once you emerge from insanely
dedicated software to that cause.


-Has anyone?


-Not a one! Circular Marvel!


-So, bottom line, you’re CROOKS!


-Definitely. But not from some
shithole country!


-O your burning, righteous
AMERICAN Pride!


-Don’t sit too close!

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