Monday, July 31, 2017
it’s still the same old story, a
a fight for love and glory!
-Not kitschy enough?
-Probably so. The new kitsch
-So much so that the requisite
escape is heroin.
-You leave me there. I’m forever
fine with literary posturing, but
not harrowing oneself to grimy
Sunday, July 30, 2017
Wags Converse...and act
-When I can’t sleep, I spring up
and rearrange the furniture!
-And does such muscular assorting
prove healthful, salubrious?
-Impelling one to finally rest?
-Never! I just like moving things around.
-The sword outwears its sheath!
-Around my digs is a plethora of
-It’s all Beans and Nothingness.
-Existentially upset stomachs?
-Yeah! And there’s no
-You don’t know the half of it.
Saturday, July 29, 2017
Three For Then
The Man Who Scheduled Every Minute
forgot everything of a morning.
No worry, backed up on all his devices?
He forgot that too.
Finally his phone vibrated and chimed madly.
“You’re Randall!” it announced.
“I’m Randall!” screamed he.
And all flooded back.
The Man Who Couldn’t Stop Eating
played furous tennis each morning
with his Chief Doctor.
Who usually surrendered. “You have
the metabolism of a Pittsburgh
He banked those fires to sleep,
dreaming of food...then sex.
The Wedding and Reception
Zach had nary a snobbish bone.
Thus married he his housekeeper.
His mother repeated egalitarian
moments of his childhood at the
Her side wasn’t much interested.
They had cried copiously at
the wedding, and now devoured
food and drink.
Prior to dancing maniacally to
Newton and the New Tones.
Their Chief, who gave her away,
gathered himself enough to
try out the slogan.
Expect Perfection Honda Wife!
Their present proved a dedicated iPad
containing her revised manual.
Friday, July 28, 2017
Glimpsing a Long Relationship
-Purpose of Woman on this Earth
is to humiliate Man!
-Thank you so much for telling me.
-That’s it. Case closed.
-Here I’ve been frittering away at other
-Don’t worry about any of that. It’s in
your nature, also, to mouth a lot
of trivial shit. Endlessly!
-Can you give me a list? I’m going
-A bit late.
-The Rosary goes in a circle, so
-ANYway! And important! The young
women in the office...call me Basset.
-After another hound?
-I’ve spoken to Dr Renzel regarding
a quick face lift.
-Go for it! Will stop the slobbering.
Thursday, July 27, 2017
wasn’t always Hitler.
-He loved the one German Shepherd dog.
-Anyone who loves dogs and kills six
million Jews can’t be all bad!
-The only subtle one to vote for Trump?
Wednesday, July 26, 2017
The State sent him in a Chevvy
He stayed at the inn and quietly
asked us a few questions. iPad.
Next time, camp at the lake
with wife and children!
We’ll tell him what he wants to know.
The kids playing into the afterglow,
like sticks of fire.
Tuesday, July 25, 2017
He all but explodes
into a Hitler Salute daily.
But at work:
absorbs a score of
Goes it thus for years.
Enter, then, mincing:
And emotions ripped from
his fat chest.
Mme Hitler learns everything
and finds it hilarious. She does,
however, make sure of her future.
Divorce not necessary if he’s
locked in to this deal.
Mistress acquires phantom illnesses.
Other two talk her down from sighs.
This is, however, not a nice story.
Gets worse no matter what
the parties essay.
Thank God nobody else cares!
Though they’re creative, actually.
(Last, wife works out condo deal
for amusing Mistress.)
And get to liking that in each other.
Monday, July 24, 2017
What It’s All About?
It was all about him!
Well, mostly. She managed
to achieve full equivalence
Quite the struggle en route!
When the babies came...
they’ve upset schemes before.
The latest, a girl, poops
Of course, that’s a theory.
Sunday, July 23, 2017
Walking the Talk
Rich texted Larbie.
sbucks & dealing!
ten! came the instant answer.
When Larbie hustled in, a double
vanilla latte awaited.
“Softening me up?”
They got quickly into it. Tedious
at first, but a breakthrough when
Larbie finally agreed on additional cash
to be determined by the accountants.
They shook hands then.
So, Rich’s Mona-Ruth traded to him for his
Cameron and Melody.
Contingent on the women accepting,
This is 2017!
Saturday, July 22, 2017
The Last Time He Took
Rhett Butler emerged
with sexy authority.
on this occasion,
will inevitably re-
assemble a shattered
assassin. And yet not
Friday, July 21, 2017
After All These Years!
Please don't be crazy!
you know Heck.
Did his thing.
Until we all cried.
And he laughed.
Then Margot spat
of us all!
One by one.
Not sparing herself.
Never sparing herself.
No one had the courage
to be her.
Thursday, July 20, 2017
Death and Worse
-Made a comic quartet in college.
-Negotiating. Who'd marry whom?
-A settlement reached?
-Well, Cynthia was the pretty fly
in the ointment--why it took
-The opposite. Unrelentingly sweet!
-Uh huh? Met the type. Then one day
she takes the legs out from under
you with a snarky comment that
exposes you to a lifetime of ridicule!
-Not her. Zero defects. She'd turn
the devil himself into an absolute
-At any rate, the story isn't about
Cynthia turning hard?
-Nor Grace attaining Cynthia's perfection.
-What did happen?
-There's a technical medical term, but...she sweeted herself to death, really.
Mark devastated. Hit the bottle.
-Practically killed herself to become
-Got close. But as Fate would have it,
a monster entered! Still prevails.
-Happy didn't follow Mark on the Bottle
-Barely. "It seizeth my waking hours,
and harroweth my nightmare sleep!”
-Very nearly Shakespearian.
-On a bad day, yeah.
Finally...he quoted Kurtz in
Heart of Darkness.
-Yep. Said nothing else after that.
-Some story! I'm shaking!
-Cynthia was well-insured--some
-But no firm underwrites PMS.
-Would ruin them!
Wednesday, July 19, 2017
Yip and Hoke
of the fuckin chair! I hit the Mute on the remote,
but didn’t work.
-What the fuck does that mean?
-I had an idea when I started, but lost it.
-Mind’s a terrible thing never to have.
Tuesday, July 18, 2017
where shots fired,
er war zone. E-
ven so mired
mid newest passel
of gun-waving rubes.
Monday, July 17, 2017
Why Republicans Love Rural Places
The women too crushed
to be coy.
The men devoured
The clergy rushing bib-
to line both up
come election time.
And everyone knows how
Sunday, July 16, 2017
-I wanna ride to the ridge
where the West commences.
-Leaving in the icky-sticky dust
all the East’s Fainting Fairies?
-I’ll never understand them boys!
Saturday, July 15, 2017
X In the Eve Arden Role,
-They called me in and told
me to tone it down. That I
sexualize everything! I cried!
-Ignore them totally, Honey!
They've lied so much, they can't
recognize a pure heart.
-You think I'm nice!
-Real sex is a gift from God!
-I never ever put anything on!
Play any role or anything.
-She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes
-That’s awful pretty! Who...?
-Lord Byron, who knows of you.
All artists do.
-THAT'S a hot one!
Friday, July 14, 2017
War and Other Scientific Observations
Terrorized children in
later teen life sigh.
The better to see us with.
Thursday, July 13, 2017
The Strangeness in Her Smile
Greta nearly threatened Rupper with her
magic. Not much of a threat since it
mostly focused on insuring Good Luck.
He left anyway. Bearer of multitudinous
maladies, many real, he went to live
with his sister and brother, both single
After a year’s hit and miss relationship,
Hinton moved into her condo. A Boeing
engineer, he laughed at any mention of
magic. “Doesn’t fly!”
To avoid his sarcasm, she kept her
various strategies to herself.
But he discovered the mildest. She had
found a bright penny many years ago
and kept it in her mailbox, sealed in
a transparent little bag such as
watch repairmen use for tiny screws.
He had a key to the mailbox and was
surprised to find it there, as he was
the reminders she wrote to herself.
“For mail, US Mail!” he spat. But
everyone in the condo association
had other uses for it too.
“Lax everything around here!” As if
such habits ruined the world all
Hinton gave her the identical, blessedly
compact, lecture he had given his mother.
"The Rational Is My Magic God!”
Overkill for her small ways.
She soon kept an internet printout
in the mailbox.
How to help your husband’s job reward
him without question.
No worry: written in a secret language.
The one spell there she preferred
translating into English.
Mostly because the last word,
Hullmists, had such agreeable
And if she lingered over the m,
too, a resonance that vibrated
her for hours.
A few month later, Hinton
announced his promotion.
“That’s because you know
True enough, but her Mona Lisa
smile knew something also.
Wednesday, July 12, 2017
Goes On the Struggle
Raucous moral pig!”
Thus I confront, afire
He laughs. “If I knew
this Heaven such an im-
mense racket, I’da...”
“We’re taking it back!”
“Uh huh? Well you must
excuse me. Still have some
angels to bribe.” And then
the greatest sin!
He giggles! So un-
Tuesday, July 11, 2017
...it's part of the merriment
So, the gang goes to hockey
games because so few players
And those few we have fun with.
Not as much as with a black
couple sitting two rows in
front of us.
Hilarious escalation of remarks.
Cleverly veiled. Well, most.
They change their seats.
Anyway, our team loses though
All in fun! Though I grant you,
not altogether innocent.
Win some, lose some.
Now don’t think plain nasty!
If that couple in trouble, we’d give
‘em the sleeves outa our vests!
Monday, July 10, 2017
Collude with me. Fast falls the Eventide.
-Not enough credit is
given to the Russians
Together they wrought
a brilliant political upset!
-Wrought it, did they both?
-With the help of Christians,
who desired a thumping sinner
to carry their inane banner.
-Uh huh? Wrought hey? That's
in history somewhere.
-It is now!
-No. No. What hath God wrought?
-Well you may ask!
-But not originally.
-He brought us a guy interested
in only himself!
-Actually a whole bunch of guys,
-That's the trouble with America!
-Far far down the line!
-Let's start moving up, Comrade!
Sunday, July 09, 2017
answered the door:
“I think I’m dying!”
I quick got Steady Hal
on my cell. Yelled he
on Speaker: “No you’re not!
Is this any way to greet
Wandering Wanda and her
Fixed Cliff then made the scene.
When Hal and Lingering Loretta
showed, Maryanne was into
modeling dresses for the Dance.
We were unanimous on a Chartreuse one
and she mega-brightened. A real beauty!
Really! Palest Blonde imaginable.
The women helped tart her up. Almost late!
I handed her my yellow roses in the limo.
Is that a good one?
No matter since it was off to the First Annual
Bridesburg Association Ball and Bingo! (The latter for the terminal farts.)
Saturday, July 08, 2017
The Bright Promise
-Can’t see a thing!
-My nose wore out. Can’t we...a light?
-No! It’s Dark Money.
-I’m sure it’s lovely.
-Since we’re being fucked over by it and for it...
-No choice but to enjoy what enlightened
Fascism has brought you.
-I’m writing a thank you note to the Supreme Court!
Friday, July 07, 2017
Planet Where Everyone Has Written a Novel
By law, it can only be read by one person.
Mime rests on the shelf of Ossnow Graz-Graz,
so I campaign...and wheedle, and dance etc.
I lastly bought the national treat, SizzleySnicks for
his children until they vomited!
Considered a happy event here! Rumor is he picked it
up then, and read a page at random.
Good enough for me for now. I feel the artistry shows.
Everyone is congratulating him on his little pukers!
Thursday, July 06, 2017
The Animating Games
What’s your name?
Where do you live?
Down the lane.
What’s your number?
Rhymes increasingly surreal
hold off terror a time.
So, a breathless result!
But in KICK THE CAN
send it chattering infinitely
down an endless hill,
and really hide thus
from murdering adults.
Wednesday, July 05, 2017
-With the one, all the fights led to my
screaming “Let’s quit it altogether!
It’s a charade!”
-Mostly. But she was willing to go
another week if I pronounced it
Shar-AHD, like the Brits.
-How did it work after that?
-We only pronounced it that way.
-No, I mean in the Romance
-Good enough. Eggs in the morning…uh...
-Somebody has to be.
-Well...my floor. Cheerio!
Tuesday, July 04, 2017
The Importance of Lists to Encompass
Life, Business, and Patriotism
Because of cyber panic, especially
fear of ransomware, CEO penciled
his new list on scraps of paper.
All these scraps lost, mislaid, something.
He remembered many points and told
his most meticulous VP.
Who relayed them in conference call.
Her demeanor even stranger than usual,
staff took the tone as sarcastic, and
Stock shot up!
Wall Street Nearly Confidential subjected
CEO to a near-endless interview.
“For all the wondrous machines,” Marcy
Marcy gushed in conclusion, “men and
women still have IDEAS!”
“From sea to shining sea!” CEO affirmed,
since 4 July approaching.
Monday, July 03, 2017
Two with Odd Names
RELSLOW BOCHAM ADDERSLYNIK,
They play with ancestors.
Actual Counts on his side, duels for women.
One of latter, Carlotta, from her side. Really.
At times, Jenn-Abb assumes her for fun.
(Other nickname Slinny. Preppy roots.)
They invent future based on names too.
Wears thin, and fall back on sex.
Somehow they later unify on creature from under
Antarctic Ice. With red proboscis, and other member the same in color and size.
Frozen lecher, OGGSNUH.
She knits him.
He designs bobbleheads: hundreds in house eventually.
Her girlfriend: WEIRD COUPLE–-especially when she smoulders on as Carlotta.
She: Normal. Just fun. Like his romantically violent Counts.
Anyway, they live there amid depictions.
And entertain with all the bobbleheads going at once.
Rare guests awarded the OGGSNUH of their choice in inebriated ceremony.
Sunday, July 02, 2017
-What happens when
a body meets a body
The Catcher in the Rye?
-You do something lovely
with that body.
-And vow to do something
even lovelier to another?
Thus entering a wider sense?
-All very sweet!
-All very brittle.
-Oh well. What do you expect?
-What we get.
-How old are you?
Saturday, July 01, 2017
-Of all the men!--so called.
-Well...he was never inept
in the romance category.
-Just all others.
-He drives me to chemo.
And is moving in here,
no ifs ands or buts!
-Yeah! Would you believe it?
-(sings) They keep their girlfriends
warm at night.
-He does that. And right now the...
-The most important thing on
the face of the earth is staying
-It's...a mean face!
-But you still like hanging around it.
-Things I haven't done yet, and I
don't even know what they are.
-You will when you do 'em.
-By the way thanks to you too for...
-Sticking since the sixth grade.
-Just needed one little push to
a nervous breakdown, but we
-Saw him at Jiffy Lube before
Mr Big C smashed in on you here.
-Did you apologize?
-Sorta. But he said he loved every
moment of it.
-We did some good then! How come we
thought the opposite.
-Because we're assholes.
-Are we now?
-That's the big word. How much left!
-Come to lunch Saturday. He's planning
-He cooks too?
-Didn't you know? Hotel Chef.
-Maybe you already died and went
-Let's avoid that luck.