Thursday, August 31, 2017
He had told his mother that if he
were suspended over a vat of
boiling oil, he could still remember
his list of ten numbers to save
One day he forgot one.
Then, mobilized! God knows the
very air full of wry jokes as to
Alzheimer Moments. So, took
With two new schemes to never
His ex told him to relax, everybody
forgets, and it doesn’t always have
to do with advancing age.
Uh huh? Well, won’t happen again!
His company located around
a central quad, social space.
They were told that the following
week a voluntary survey would
When asked, he participated.
The two young people were
charming and funny.
Especially the girl, so lovely.
So, all in buoyance, really.
Our hero afloat on the sea of
her fresh loveliness.
What’s wrong with that?
“Name?” concluded they.
Didn’t miss a beat! Well...
Then he told them he had been
kidding. Jerry Algret.
“You’re a CARD, like my father!”
“All cards,” whispers the young man.
Wednesday, August 30, 2017
Glenn and Dotsy outraged us.
But some was genuine.
"We want to shake you
to the shallow depths
of your bourgeois souls!"
Then they married and muted
Now they warn of Neeee-groes
and Spicky-Spick-Illegals oh my!
Follow Trump, and warn us that
we must face down the traitors and
Pansy Liberals and mollycoddle
Republicans populating the
Tuesday, August 29, 2017
-So many dreams and it
all turned into Lust!
-This is altogether bad?
-We had conversed, he and I,
-Ah! Language! A finer thing!
-Big Stuff! Freakin MEGA!
-I don't know where it'll
end up now.
-Don't rule anything out.
Monday, August 28, 2017
-I just can’t stand it anymore!
I’m going to a place where
nobody gives a shit about
anything, and you can just
wander aimlessly. If you die
in the street, they’ll step over
your alleged body!
-Phoenix! But don’t wander
too far or you dissolve in
the heat! Blast Furnace!
That dry heat turns everything
-Dissolve? Best yet!
-And there are blessed
distractions. Trump holds
-FUCK THE JEWS!
-You’re swinging with it already!
-I’d become an SS Man, but they
need love too.
Sunday, August 27, 2017
-So, the mystery as to the
whereabouts of Lutz?
-Didn't call and Personnel
can't reach him, home or cell.
-Maybe he went somewhere.
What did he say Friday?
-Why is he so shy? He ain't
-Uh huh? Now don't say it in
-Moving right along...?
-Last thing he said at the
meeting with Grover and Gloria...
-That hadda be productive!
-WAS! “In the interim...”
-He's trapped in the Interim.
-Of course, but events sweep
you out of it. Or you really
adhere to a schedule, and
every ten-minute block is
-You don't get an interim in
that anal-retentive case.
-Tragedy! “But, what we do further?”
the Captain asked Jellybean.
-“More clues about him might provide the key
to get him out, Captain Sparky!” That book
changed my alleged life!
-His dog is Ginger.
-How does he call one in when
both digging for bones?
-You've seen her?
-What else do you know?
-You mean about him or everything?
-Answer's the same: Nothing!
He could be locked in the Interim
-Oh! he was engaged once to Marcy
-She could supply some intelligence.
-Well, we're lost!
-In an interim?
-Maybe always in one or another.
-Well, I don't like it!
-Same people who care about Lutzy.
Saturday, August 26, 2017
HEAVEN AND HELL–-if you’re into dichotomies
Heaven Can Wimp
-I tried our 800 number and
reached an Indian.
-I got used to it.
-We’re not all wireless yet,
budget restraints, and those
wogs are rotting the lines
with their curry breath!
-Whoa! Pretty racist.
-All in fun.
-Anyway, he helped me.
-Not him, the Marketplace!
We can afford him and
therefore give better service
than with your Christian crybabies.
-Time and a half for overtime!
Give me a break!
-So Heaven’s a marketplace
-The only sacrosanct thing here.
-How about Love and all that
-Not expressly forbidden, but we
worship The Market.
-God devised it?
-But of course. Don’t tell me that
you’re one of those Lefty Nitwits!
-No, I’m a good little angel.
-Say it loud and often. Otherwise
I only hear that you’re requesting
-No way! Adore that Marketplace!
Absolutely! No reservations!
-That’s better! Hey! Free donuts
tomorrow. Pass it on.
Hell Is For Heroines
-I'm just back and they want
me to go out again.
-Harassment. My specialty.
-Of course. I go after Macho-Boss-Assholes,
and fry their little balls, believe me!
-That I am!
-But good. As am I. Sometimes I wonder
-We're not in Heaven?
-I do wonder!
-Don't! It's simple. There are no
women in Heaven.
-I don't believe that.
-Oh come on! Heaven is all dullard
-Worse than Hell if you ask me!
-Then how about all the St Teresas
from here and there?
-Okay. Okay. A few women.
-You're a serial exaggerator!
-Yeah. Guilty. It's...just that we
have more Hell in us!
-And thank God for it!
Friday, August 25, 2017
-Your wife forgot something,
so drove back downtown.
She says you can reach her
on her cell.
-Never turns it on.
-Just likes patting it in
her jeans. Reassuring.
-I...notice little disturbances,
uh, interruptions of light.
-And literary! Well it all sounds nice.
You, wife, cat in little Ractal.
-The town that even Ignominy forgot.
-And you call Ragtag, of course.
-Are you a prophet?
-Can be a part of the job.
-Well...which of the three are you taking along?
-We'll get to that.
-If I may make a suggestion? You should
have a substitute to plug right in.
-A good one, but, alas, I travel alone.
-But not on the return leg? At any rate, the balance can be restored here pretty quickly.
-Is that the most important thing? Balance?
-I'll have Sidney come out so I can get a look.
-You must praise him! Otherwise he's impossible!
-Your wife is patting her phone. She's at the
bottom of Skinner Ravine. Nasty! But she
won't suffer. Sheriff Gathers will tell you that.
-Sad. I only have good things to say about
-Her nickname, naturally. Will you mention that
in the funeral notice?
-Must. Many don't know her real name.
-The desert's an odd place.
-We embrace that.
-I can see that.
-And it, us.
-Sidney Carton! What a total and absolute sweetheart!
Thursday, August 24, 2017
Two For the Hee-Haw
Before and After
-To truly experience Fascism, you must
go to one of Trump’s Rallies.
-Blood and soil!
-The blood will be in your nose, and
the soil in your pants.
-Ja wohl! Makes it real!
The Right Plays
-Will Trump ever get together
with us Fellow Republicans?
-Must! For Fascism!
-American Fascism could
obliterate the World!
-Why stop dere? O mein NASA Fuhrer!
Wednesday, August 23, 2017
The Two Pubs
1 Larry had the vicious Anti-PC Cohort
promise not to follow him to the new pub.
They agreed, with parting comments as to
his cunt-loving, and secret faggotry, etc.
Pussy-whippedness his absolute worst!
All playing of course!
2 Being warm and funny, immediately
welcome in this new place.
Politics and other filth forbidden here.
Oh there are jokes, but they don’t
1 The old pub lives on, still filled with
hilarious imitations of foreign accents.
The latest Jew jokes requiring thus.
Later, cripple jokes fade in.
When the two eventually, organically,
combine as Crippled Jew Jokes,
well what could be more uproarious?
Black Sambo enters Harvard?
You may wish some terminal disease
strike the ringleaders?
Let that go! God’s province--if you still
persist in believing.
You can take some solace in that they’ve
brutally started in on each other?
To the death!
You’d be mistaken.
Merely achieving a necessary purification
rite on the
PATH TO RIGHT-WING ECSTASY.
Tuesday, August 22, 2017
like it! Bad rays!
-I know: Like a good boy, I no look at
Destructo Sun! You shit and go blind!
-Don’t look at anything or anybody!
-I jump in a closet with my phone.
Play GRUNGE for three hours.
-Perfect! Deafen the weird gods?
-Just so’s I can’t hear them!
Monday, August 21, 2017
How Terrible They Were
to the man who thought too much.
They wrote a program to back
him up two notches.
Thus the conclusion he reached
was valid, and not fussy or wrong
But, when he insisted the extraneous
thoughts be maintained in a
reservoir, for fun they sent in others’
ideas at random.
A real scatterfk!
A few months ago, he accessed
And has never left.
Sunday, August 20, 2017
The Love Profession
Roman filled Samantha's
desire as to his professions
In times of her severest need,
Thus stood he as model to
indifferent men who really
would rather watch the Giants.
And the presents! Usual milestones
but also surprises aplenty!
She never knew when some jazzy
trinket would be delivered!
Her stock of such could start
a small...well. Gift Shop.
Or as our New England friends
Ye Smalle Gifte Shoppe.
Anyway, her ultimate reaction?
Cast him off as too smothering.
"I couldn't breathe! I need a space FOR...!
Book-gifted him, though, in the trauma.
"Become the Bad Boy!"
by Carlotta Anthony.
“seven seemingly infantile steps to...”
Saturday, August 19, 2017
Hell couldn't find the discount card
from the drug company.
Drs Itzer and Mackey thought
they could get the number
from somewhere, but Dr Berliner
went all tight-ass about it.
Addressing her: "So typical zis person!"
Heloise informed him that she wasn't
ready yet to examine herself in the
Three weeks after the operation,
there it was! Under frozen mixed
vegetables in the frig.
Phoned the office and--thousand
to one--reached Berliner directly.
Who proved warm! Ending with
"Just note, go some soft mit der
Basso-Profundo. Don't want
you scare folk!"
“If you tone down the comic German!”
Friday, August 18, 2017
Pack grew tired of hearing
You should see your face!
So, wealthy, he hired a
photographer to shadow
him day and dark.
At bedtime, he ran
the pics on his iPad.
One night he died farting.
Thursday, August 17, 2017
“Life’s a mystery!"
maintains Stelly’s younger sister.
“Hey!” Clifford laughs, “you just
find your moral and economic
“How about Love?”
“Might arrive. Fifty-fifty.”
“I won’t live in a Fifty-fifty world!”
“It’ll care and won’t care.”
Wednesday, August 16, 2017
Coffee After Sad Fact
-And you're treating? I'm overwhelmed!
-As you know, Statue of Limitations has run out.
-We had been waiting for your last minute "Criminal" Barrage.
-Agents pissed, but we’re not going in ever again without
totally solid cases.
-What you see as criminal I see as opportunity.
-That's a Universal!
-Uh huh? Time to change the law again. Make it reflect real life!
-No way! No such thing as bribery anymore. Citizens
-has been such a useful whore to you.
-Long may she reign!
-I wonder if I’ll ever put you inside.
-If you do, then after a bit I’ll purchase tremendous pressure to show
I’ve been convicted under truly anachronistic laws.
-Life changes for the good!
-How can you get that last word in your mouth?
-How can we get any words in our mouths?
Tuesday, August 15, 2017
Itza Vile Bitch
All the Righties
the Nazi Itch.
Except their Fancies.
There, the Royalist one.
Where to kowtow?
Monday, August 14, 2017
Take a Nazi to Lunch
Sunday, August 13, 2017
Two For Now
-President barking at the North Koreans
like a First Sergeant.
-Finding his stripes?
-When he does they’ll be penal!
-Got the poor gooks in a shit fit!
-What else is new?
-Nazis rioting in Charlottesville.
-Fascism got tired of creeping
and into full gallop?
-Why not throw in a few Seig Heils?
-Not quite time.
-I’m losing patience! Unless the Republicans
can return to their old aplomb in going up
our ass for their billionaire buddies, I’m turning
off on freaking politics entirely!
-Where are the aplombs of yesteryear?
-Annie barred the door!
-I thought that was Katy.
-She’ll do in a pinch.
-Bring in the chorus girls anyway! Who can stand the rest?
-Wonderful! But we gotta flush out the clowns first.
-Clown-Flushing the greatest skill known to man.
-How about to women?
-They just laugh.
-There’s another way?
-No more of that drizzly shit for me ! Everybody laughed.
-Let them snort coke!
-Marie Antoinette said that.
-From the basket?
-Yeah, the original Talking Head!
Saturday, August 12, 2017
The Man Who Answered All Questions
tired of his cleverness, and absently
stroked Sidney Carton, the least
mysterious cat in the lower valley.
Who darted away, then back to bite.
"You little bastard!"
Friday, August 11, 2017
Murphzy bursts into tears.
“A blind dog found his own seeing eye dog.
I saw it on YouTube!"
“Now now,” counseled Bartender Arthur.
“It’s a fuckin dog-eat-dog world anyways!”
This from Stone Blind Charlie.
“That’s enough fuckin dogs!”
--Proprietor Maxine flipping the lights.
Darkness. Save for one Bud Lite sign.
Dimly saying lonely lonely lonely.
Thursday, August 10, 2017
They decided to separate.
taken for each other.
No one could get the names straight.
It was September already.
Would anything, or anyone,
be as equal again?
Wednesday, August 09, 2017
Thinking too weirdly
brought the request
to cease. Easy enough
to just pretend to.
It eased, then
asked to help
who stray. But
who am I
to shift others
to my shape? It
all worked out
though. That is
Can it go on
this new way?
Tuesday, August 08, 2017
A Use of History
In response, the women
assumed the names of
did the talking, and
Spread-Legs Shirl chaired.
Clergy counseled patience,
then biblical brutality as Shirl
lived up to her name.
The men disparaged the cloth,
opting for a quick settlement.
They capitulated on major points.
The women felt free, then, in
victory, to revert to comfortable roles.
All-enveloping sweet Motherhood.
Terribly fashionable Garden Partying
with dresses and heels, of course.
Don't forget them.
Monday, August 07, 2017
The One Percent
How better to get
you to "Speak!"
the Wonder Pooch!
for their hired
Sunday, August 06, 2017
Solving for Beauty
-You're too lazy! Or have been.
-Granted, but this one I must figure out!
-Because she’s beautiful?
-Therefore, must be more there? Inside?
-Again? Why you're...just inventing her and can’t stop!
-That so? Well I’m loving every minute!
-Actually, an Ugly Duckling has all of humanity layered in!
-Uh huh? So solve her, and so what?
Saturday, August 05, 2017
-While you dwelt with the one
woman in hole-filled matrimony,
I experienced five.
-Three wives and two bizarre live-ins.
-A regular basketball team.
-And highly skilled in the vicious aspects
of the game!
Friday, August 04, 2017
All Revolutionaries Impatient
to smash up
the previous order?
Men, women, children,
dogs, cats, machines.
Creative Destruction. Let
cowards hold garden parties!
Some in totally ruined cities
to begin the old hypocrisy
Thursday, August 03, 2017
CNN BEGINS REPORTING FROM VIRTUAL WHITE HOUSE
A place, explains Tresher
Asgood, "purposely dull and
An interview with President
Irena Dells is featured.
"Since it's all in fun anyway,
why not a woman President?"
he goes on.
Wednesday, August 02, 2017
Every Day In Every Way
Instead of having his own viewpoint,
Mark invented a perfect one.
He became noted for his fairness.
Away from him.
At any rate, it became a good little model
of whatever it was a model of.
Tuesday, August 01, 2017
Ab and Evy
with little provocation,
Last fit loses remaining
And Ab, his
Doctors beg him to visit,
but Fox a jealous mistress.