Thursday, November 30, 2017

 

Political Advice


Scratch an ardent Democrat,
find a Communist!

Scratch an ardent Republican,
find a Nazi!

I ask you, “Which is worse?”

or
Vhich iz vorse? for humor’s sake.

No? How about Jah wohl! ?

Just avoid scratching?

That proves it! If Moderates stay conscious,
they can rule the world!

By example.

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Wednesday, November 29, 2017

 

The Man Who Avoided the Plague


of Social Rituals

married his long-trying girlfriend
via the mayor of Seaside Heights.

No damn hoo dee do dah
huge WEDDING
with all its bs works!

Mayor’s hag insisted on a piece
of week-old cake,

by way of
celebration!

Gagged him!

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Tuesday, November 28, 2017

 

Moral Question


Does a Tomboy,
when she gets
to it with a man,

fantasize the male
role for herself?

Alongside any
bs sentiments?

Could be as to s-e-x,
but probably not any
bent accompaniments.

Tomboys won’t lie.

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Monday, November 27, 2017

 

Hail to The Extroverts


At parties where each
shy one stared long at
coordinates of air. Barged

some Brass-Balls in there,
emitting prolix spasms that
stirred us, if even to sly sarcasm.

We got to talking! Some--believe it
or no--SOCIALIZING! What

a Trudge, Budge!
The memory merits
a nap!

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Sunday, November 26, 2017

 

Strike Three Medals


1  Ratch's new company could only
use him as a temp for a few years, but...
an implied promise of permanent
employment later, with great benefits,
kept him hooked.

Finally, he decided the latter course
a management lie.

That's when his brother-in-law
offered him a partnership!

Since nothing this man had
ever done prospered in any
remote way, Ratch figured
he'd lose ten percent of his
savings before retirement.

A sacrifice to his long-
suffering sister and
three squalid brats.

Well, lovely and delightful
children, of course!

Anyway, what makes a terrific
surprise?

Ratch retiring five years
later, only losing five percent!

The brother-in-law actually
on his feet, relatively
speaking.

He toasts the family all at his
final party, and, sardonically,
after their exit from.

With battle-scarred business
veterans at this...and the dive
bars ensuing .

Finally got to bed, laughing
and very drunk.


2  Lydia persisted with her
Bum of the Month Program.

Exaggeration, since she managed
to endure but two or three of
these toxic, prevaricating, emotional
miscreants a disastrous year.

For many-yyyyyy years! Oy!

She didn't wear out, but stayed
bright!

As shiny as the ass on a car salesman's
cheap pants.

Speaking of which--but the opposite
to the occupational stereotype:
Very Plain Joe-- brother Curt managed
to fix her up with.

Who nobody would ever think of marrying.

Lord!

She married him!

Great! Escape from the grimy foxholes
of the Single Wars.

Her great accomplishment before this
was, of course, tying up these harmful
men so they couldn't inflict their reflexive 

lies on any other’s impressionable
sister for that particular time period.

And Steady Joe never lies. 

Hey! One or two would defog the dullness, but...that’s life.

3  Laurel was willing to fight for the good in Mers, Oklahoma, but never could find it.

The new minister was helpful, but the board
asked him to leave when it was discovered
he had a boyfriend in nearby Hensler.

Laurel thought to move there also, as a way
of supporting him, but her mother developed
incurable gas.


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Saturday, November 25, 2017

 

Tasked


Help to drag
the bodies out

after the quake.
Show whatever

love we can in
such travail.

Who knows
what still
they hear?

What cells per-
sist within

all crushed,
wretched things.

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Friday, November 24, 2017

 

The Van Winkle Cabin


Mom would stand no more!


The crazy uncles given their
Thanksgiving Dinner in the
Van Winkle Cabin.

Actually, it wasn't called
that right away.

But the first year after their
usual screaming quarrel, was.

Mike was the Liberal, Heck,
the Conservative.

Both several notches to the
Left and Right of Vlad Lenin
and Adolf Hitler, respectively.

When everyone in the house
pitched in and cleaned up,
a freak rainstorm almost
drowned out the untiring pair.

Then, graveyard quiet from the cabin.

And Mom sent sane sons, Jeff
and Blake to check for massive
blown fuses.

They reported the combatants
asleep, but, of course, all of
Science knows they continue
in suspended animation.

To awake every Thanksgiving Season.

The Historical Museum had wanted
the cabin before, but Mom had
resisted. Her great great great
grandparents having built it in the
stupendous Land Rush.
 

But the prospect of moving away the
yearly acid buffoonery of the crazy uncles
forced her, for family peace, to  give it to
Dr Abernathy, Curator, in a nice ceremony.

The subsequent move on flatbed truck
disturbed no slumbers.

The physicians of Mercy Regional have
figured a way to revive them each
Thanksgiving Week.

Their unfailing fire boosting Museum giving
by a yearly 28 percent.

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Thursday, November 23, 2017

 

Oration


Judith is terrified about speaking
at the funeral. Stage Fright!

Even if it’s hers.

It’s ridiculous that the funeral directors
insist that since Rejuvs had to die in order
to be brought back, therefore...

But, LOBBY-Fever-AMERICA!  grips!

Everywhere. Always.

(At any rate, the 80% Absurdity Index holds
steady in most fields.)

Longgggggg-time boyfriend Reck laughs,
“Hey I’m on my fourth life, each one
too fast I grant you, but I’ll bullshit any
group anytime.”

“It’ll kill me!” Judith all but sobs.

“Death figures of speech, and humor
are so Yesterday!”

“Bring it back!”

“Come on now, Honey! I’ll help you rehearse.
Not too egotistical to say nice things about
Judith 1.”

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Wednesday, November 22, 2017

 

Time and Place


-Where am I?

-Is that an existential
or geographic question?

-Geo alone.

-Crystal Lake.

-That fetid pond of muddy
bottles out there is...?

-Two cleanups a year. Participate
and receive twenty-percent off
coupons at Burger King.

-Oh mad joy!

-Uh huh? Similar to that felt
in the cars scattered round
the lovely lake as we speak.

-No need to describe that.
Except hurried.

-Life is short.

-I'm thinking...long?

-You hafta get some fun in you!

-In this time and place, must
work too hard.

-You need good woman!

-As rare as good man?

-Maybe a tie.

-Dreadful!

-Jury's out.

-Let them stay there.

They're ordering-in Italian.

-Only right decision they'll make.

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Tuesday, November 21, 2017

 

Oh Yeah?


Commissioner Maloney says look elsewhere for
the insanity in the Melzer-Donner Neighborhood.

The water exceeds federal standards, to say the
least, and the pipes are, at most, five years old.

Three example culled from a good hundred
of the aforementioned insanity.
...

Gloria, or Glo, has started and sold three
successful businesses. She’s holding off
on the fourth to go to the Amazon with
Reston, who has a

no-fail plan to...

Involving many heretofore...

and capped off with an approach never before...!


He has not the least freakin idea what he's doing.

End of story.

Glo just divines he’s brilliant and that their love
is brilliant too!

Love, the key here, of course...case you
missed it.

...

Tom ready to abandon wife and baby for Jerry,
serial AC-DC heartbreaker. 

Who functions

entirely without a brain.

Theirs is such a complex relationship, Tom can’t
even begin describing it!

Especially since he rest of us would give him
Bronx Cheers Unending.

...

Brittany desires happiness! Why can’t anyone
understand that?

Literally, she should think of equipping her house
with doormats with various male names scripted
thereupon.

But the actual doormats don’t go for symbolism,
but Sex.

No strategy is too low, no idea too inane,
no groveling too extreme.

Make her happy!

 ...and these guy have the equipment, oh yeah!

Oh yeah?

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Monday, November 20, 2017

 

The Boundary


Cassoday shoved Happy forward beyond
the crowd at the sign.


NO CLEVER PEOPLE BEYOND THIS POINT


-WE’RE not clever?


-Nope. Homeboys with Homesense!


-Not so bad.


-And when we get together with the rest of us
Un-clevers, everything won’t be all fucked up!


-Any other differences?


-Personal Pronoun “I” gets rested!


-Whew! How’d it get as far as it did?


-Couldn’t resist all the BRAIN POWER!

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Sunday, November 19, 2017

 

Music of Sorts



Dorney lived in a minor key


From childhood.


Pliant girl...to pleasantly quiet woman.
.
Live-in guy fine with her soft way.


Than she went Major!


“Been too grimly quiet for us,” told him.


The Old Maids of both sexes turned up noses
at her makeup etc.


Her college courses.


“Join me!” she shouted at him, but buddies
tagged him pussy-whipped already.


Without friends, can’t be tragedy.

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Saturday, November 18, 2017

 

Goals


Kissing despicable
ass practically

forever, but attained
the inheritance!

Hey! Easy Street!
from here!   
Uh huh?

Doesn't exist
in lives
sacrificed.

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Friday, November 17, 2017

 

His Own Man


Ralphie the Salesman had
two bosses, and never
knew which would show.

Teresa Wong founded
Chinese Women Warriors
on historical evidence.

She taught Oriental Studies
at Baruch College.

But, somehow, was the only
Chinese member of the group
presently.

Ralphie's wife Kesselly belonged.

This night she goes to a meeting.

Ralphie has invited Hart Lizzo
to watch the Yanks against Clevelnd
on TV.

Hart his retired mentor at Glurtzman Industries.

He fades in just after Kess storms out in her
warrior outfit.

The game goes well, the men awash
in Bud and Fritos.

Yanks lead by ten! after only two
innings.

Cleveland being humiliated, and
Ralphie loves humiliation.

Hart eventually snores lightly,
but gets startled awake at the
announcers shouting, and
pronounces

"Oceans of bullshit!"

When Kess get home it takes the two
of them to wake him.

Next day at work Hanzy asks him what
Burke has instructed, and nods sarcastically.

Truth is Ralphie did what he pleased, and told
whichever boss in range that the other boss
had okayed it.

Thus he bought the cheapest chocolates
Walgreen sells for Mrs Renton of Renton LLC
who had come through with fewer orders lately.

She's touched! Gives him three quick orders
on the spot.

He has bought the identical box for his wife.
No occasion, just ‘Love Day!’ as he’ll tell her.

He has a plan for Teresa Wong and her too.

Feeling that the Chinese Warrior Women
has descended into gossip, and that
Teresa too busy to care, he researches
small hand axes on the web. Gives them
one each.

Ends up storing several in the basement.

Correctly, because General Linda Snelling,
will tell him to send them all to her.

And bill The Warriors.

Then Dr Teresa Wong gains interest again,
devising a drill for the women where,
of course, they brandish the axes at the
piggish War Lords.

At the Yankee game a few weeks later, Hart
intones through snores, “Oceans of Bullshit.”

“Yeah, and beautiful!”

Even the Yankees being humiliated by
the Red Sox can't deflate a Salesman!





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Thursday, November 16, 2017

 

Conversation Without a Date


-Do you have the moral authority
to dismiss me?

-What do I know from MORAL?
I have the Business Authority.

-It's because I'm a Jew!

-That never helps.

-There are LAWS in this country!

-Lovely ones and they sound beautiful!
Like they do everywhere.

-You haven't heard the last of...

-Strange! Because I believe I have.

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Wednesday, November 15, 2017

 

The Essential Romance


Italian Farmhouse Restaurant
long past the quake, buried still.

A place of dust and Heys! above.

Slashing flashlights, then...

fewer. Trucks
up and down rubble

hills, their exhausts
in red rear lights

adding to the phan-
tasmagoria. The dogs 


moving elsewhere 

through red dust.

The two of us two meet
far from any center,

where I complete
his proposal,

she accepting for
the dead woman. We

toast the happy pair
with champagne

against that farthest glow,
our eternal friends.

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Tuesday, November 14, 2017

 

Absurdly Dealing With the Absurd


When Jennifer left with
Hobie, Chunzie thought
that wherever love took
them, he should know the
address to forward her mail.

He finally called Beverly,
the other wronged spouse.

Who, dramatically, wanted to
meet with him.

They comforted each other.

Rather too well.

Extracting from her became
imperative.

And was accomplished awkwardly.

In the meantime, Old Man Tompkins
died, and his two sons ordered him
to run things and keep the firm
from bankruptcy.

Which he did, is doing.

And Roscoe the Lab, starts perking
up from his funk missing
Jennifer when Chunzie throws
a week of her embroided panties

(Sunday, Monday, etc)

into a mesh laundry bag and
tosses it among his pillows.

His oldest friend, Yaz, remarks
“Do  you have any solutions not
bizarre?”

“Not lately.”

“I’d stop praying to The God
of Chaos right now!”

“He has put me on auto.”

The absconded Romeo and
Juliet finally located in

Cow Gulch, Wisconsin!

“Where else?” sighs Yaz,
“the huge tropical moon over
the cheese factory.

Swaying palms.

Ricardo strumming his Sear’s
Latin Chord Guitar and

wrenching out airs
from old Seville.”

“WHATEVER!”
punctuated Chunzie.
“Life isn’t language.”


“It isn’t?”

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Monday, November 13, 2017

 

Filling in Blanks With Sensitivity


(Cue Feelings –any saccharine version
beginning “FEEEEEEE-lings!“)

__________didn’t mind that_______
got the artistic acclaim.

For work shoddy, hasty, commercial.

DISGUSTING!

WhereAS!  etc 

(Fade in scenes of
purest vistas.

Children laughing.

The faint odor of
performing seals also).

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Sunday, November 12, 2017

 

The Stages of Music


Pleased so many attended her
piano lecture, professors and
students, the latter inching forward
in their seats.

These so rapt, she has to loosen
them up.

Injecting litle burlesque varieties
into her examples.

“Of course  you could play it like
this (laughter) or even THIS!”

Chubby meets her after at the
short reception. Blade thin, but
the childhood name persists
as irony.

"You don't mind being seen,
however briefly, as a parody
of yourself?”

“I adore Miss Parody, and all
my me's!”

“Your me's on scene are more
than adequate.”

Suddenly ravenous, and lapsing
into the Czech accent to notify him,
she forces a trip to Luigi's, where she
eats and he mostly watches.

Devours, actually.   


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Saturday, November 11, 2017

 

Having Never Left


Lozzy loves the quiet with herself.

“I’m so shy I hardly speak to me!”

Laughs she.

Then she works at drilling
dimples into her cheeks.

Sucking them in there really.

“Aren’t you finally CUTE?”

“CUTESY-WOOTSEY!” Mirror answers.

“Are we lapsing into baby talk?”

“Never left.”

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Friday, November 10, 2017

 

Waif


rang the doorbell.
She was blue and
shivering.


And wanted to know
how to get to Sturgess
and Manley.

Dorrie took her inside
and gave her hot chocolate.

Mac and Leary came home
from late shifts, and all
had stronger stuff against
the cold.

Waif never left until...

I'll see quizzical her
again, I know.

"Let's...see..."

Dimples drilling into her cheeks.

"Take all the purple ones you want...?"

So so frail little thing.

"But watch out for..."

Shaking so with laughter as to
blur the weak rays angling in
from the street light.

"Or is is the opposite? Oh well..."


That last...

dusty...


Oh well.


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Thursday, November 09, 2017

 

The Man Who Avoided Just About Everything


MARRIED!

You'd think, then, the end of this
irresponsibility?

You'd be wrong. His wife went along,
only stepping in when the particular
case egregiously selfish.

As a result, he maintained about 80%
of his former avoidance.

You may surmise here that he lacked
character, for why not be mindful
of those who tackle those situations
he slides by?

So, others contribute to his luxury.

His shouldering friends often look
prematurely old and lost, as if looking
for something they forgot which.

I'm trying to get some guilt into
him here!

No use. Allow me this vulgarity:

He doesn't give a shit!

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Wednesday, November 08, 2017

 

Mock on Rousseau, Voltaire!


-Every firm has its very large bird,
and hosts of tweeties imitating him.

-Like Mockingbirds?

-Indeed.

-And are they sometimes actually
making fun of The Eminence?
However subtle?

-Yes, but rarely.

-Fear holds them back?

-Necessary for survival.

-We’re clever though. Bottom line.

-Brilliant!

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Tuesday, November 07, 2017

 

Guns For Lunatics


Our Lunatic of the Month is a success!

Karl has wasted Mom and Dad and
Chihuahua Ginger.

More were possible but cartoons came on.

Sheriff Tolley Hossins has made his
interrogation available here.

Sure to be a collector’s item since Karl
sings his answers!

If you click on it, you’ll find an easy
way to send money via credit card.

The work must go on!

The Right To Bear Arms is absolute!

Regrettably, we, together, must still
continue proving it.


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Monday, November 06, 2017

 

Art and Debate


-Making up a story is like being there?

-Better!

-I’d miss the actual stinks.

-You can devise stinkier. Write them!

-No one could.

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Sunday, November 05, 2017

 

Death of Our Neighborhood’s Beloved Prostitute


Fat undertaker and rail
assistant eased bagged
you down frail,

narrow stairs and in-
to slashing geometrics

of sun and brute
shadow. Nothing

opened, but
resisted with-
in huge shards. So,

they roughed you
through to bright limo,

and away, leav-
ing splintered

space to close
in tight and loud.

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Saturday, November 04, 2017

 

Situation


-Men who marry Alien women
must sign a document that
they understand their physical
differences from Earth...

-But who could, really?

-Well, For one thing, my Defline is...
one sexual organ!

-You might say.

-I did. And do.

-But that’s merely a figure
of speech!

-Yes and no.

-Are these girls taken home
to see Mother?

-I did. And nothing will ever
be the same!

-And Mother?

-SHE’LL be the same!

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Friday, November 03, 2017

 

Mainspring


A  (singing)  Breaking up is
hard to do.

B  With a wife, maybe. A girlfriend
not so much.

A  How so?

B  So.

A  What's next?

B  The world turns and doesn't give
a shit.

A  Uh huh? How about the individuals
in it?

B  They're a lost cause.

A  I know one who is.

B  No secret to me.

A  How can you stand yourself?

B  I don't have to. No one does.

B  How so?

A I just pretend.

B  What you do anyway. And what gets
you into trouble.

A  Not so! The mainspring!

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Thursday, November 02, 2017

 

The Intelligent Boundary


Cassoday shoved Happy forward beyond
the crowd at the sign.

NO CLEVER PEOPLE BEYOND THIS POINT

-WE’RE not clever?

-Nope. Homeboys with Homesense!

-Not so bad.

-And when we get together with the rest  of us
Un-Clevers, everything won’t be all fucked up!

-Any other differences?

-Personal Pronoun “I” gets rested.

-Whew! How’d it get as far as it did?

-Couldn’t resist all the BRAIN POWER!

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Wednesday, November 01, 2017

 

Sums


Some are half frauds,
having tirelessly fought

their entire lives against
becoming whole

frauds  Get no
medals none-
theless.

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