Friday, October 31, 2014
Everythng In Its Place
-The Free Market!
-Uh huh? I’ll give you this: You can never jettison
all the crooks and charlatans, so no fair trial of it ever!
-Real Libertarians maintain that the lowlifes, finally,
fatally, screw themselves. Thus the people will get rid
of them by simply withholding their trade.
-Your mother raised at least one Dancing Fool!
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Another Diffident Music Celebrity Muffs National Anthem
Oh well! Lost In the huge stadium with its crazy-weird dopplers!
Based on German drinking song, anyway.
You need a beerhall to really give it the right push.
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Knowing Our Time
“Are you sure you want Glomohs and not Wixters?”
“Yeah, what the fuck!” So Rip had ticked Glomohs.
Everybody went nuts on his Board after!
“We can’t get on! It’s jump though hoop after hoop! Did you change anything?”
“Come on! You bastard!”
So he confessed, and had to change it back, not ever knowing what the terms meant.
In a year, he knew what nothing meant.
“I been trained,” he joked.
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
The Future of Higher Education
Brencher knew his PhD from The Interstellar
University was earned by doing practically
Now teaching at a prestigious institution
in New York State, he didn't fear getting
exposed as a fraud, since he each day
introduced a controversial topic and let
the students fight it out.
Inserting, of course, a hmmm or uh huh.
Today, a twentieth century song: You picked
a fine time to leave me, Lucille!
Males and females lined up rhetorically,
and let fly.
He graded on class participation, not wanting
to read anything the simpletons might compose.
Some few sat with sarcastic faces, but he forced
them to speak also.
Thus could he give all of them A's.
Dean called him in. Danger-Time!
But he just complained that the average grade
had become A for the entire university.
“WE'VE LOST OUR STANDARDS!”
As Dr Brencher headed for a seminar for the professors
entitled Creative Instruction in the Twenty-Eighth Century,
he couldn't stop laughing.
When tears rolled down his cheeks outside the Student Union,
Melissy Oxard, one of his students, felt it mirrored his soul.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Senators in Victory!
Two Sens (Part 1 or 2)
-And the lesson to be drawn from
our mutual election? Twin triumphs!...
but this HAS to be my last Scotch!
-That the people wish us to continue
fucking them. And the night is young!
Two Sens (Part 2 or 1)
-Can’t tell if that’s a burp or a fart.
-No matter. Like a trumpet of triumph!
-Dicey for a bit, but the people reverted
to their natural stupidity.
-And do we LISTEN!
Sunday, October 26, 2014
If she were hanged
for her beauty, she’d die innocent.*
The landscape of her sisters, an end-
less plain. Though, hollows
hold ponds reflecting sly
angels of Earthly Paradise.
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Mistakes named for workers
-Almost Marlowed the entire bunch
but Grumpy came up with a fix.
-The new kid Grumpied the makeover
work, first thing I give him. But, he’s bright.
He'll catch on.
The newest foreman, Hodge, wasn't immune.
He ruined a small lot before his elevation.
And now he, even, refers to the same mistake:
-Let's everybody be careful on that big job!
I don't want any Hodging!
When Marlow died, we thought we should
desist in his case, but habit took hold and we
still kept labeling that particular screwup
Grumpy pronounced -It's his memory forever.
-A mistake? sneered Hodge.
-We're human. He stays with us this way.
The question persisted: Why did Marlow die anyhow?
Grumpy opined that he was too happy.
Friday, October 24, 2014
Appraising the Senate as to Culture & Behavior
Harsh, But Fun
-Dirksen wrote a play. Chinese Love.
-How on earth do you know that?
-He was the last Republican to do anything human.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
The Vast Chain of Beans
Billionaire’s Reasonable Ask
-It’s not that much! Just mostly symbolic! A tiny bit
on your finger.
-It’s still eating shit!
-Do me, and the country, this favor. The Whole Nation was built by the little people who did this! Unafraid! Heroes!
-I don’t know.
-I salute you!
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Hate Prez Campaign Great Success!
-They love the undercurrent of Race--its
sly risk especially. Though they’re not racists.
-Of course not!
-Courage under flair.
-They say we miss their humor.
-So do they.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
I didn't worry that the Administration and its
fierce Party labeled my unemployment
insurance as a crippling entitlement against
the whole country.
But then, they persuaded Congress to eliminate the
program on the philosophical ground that it lacked
the real starving possibility that got folks off their ass.
Thus, yet another blow to natural laziness.
No problem with this last here. Our shop had work
out the door and stretching to Kalamazoo!
Overtime mandatory, which was fine with me.
Was. Whole shebang to Latvia. Our labor just too costly.
Sometimes, you get the chance to give back wages?
But not in this case.
After a couple of months, when the old government
handout would’ve come in handy, and we exhausted
our savings, and our daughters couldn't play soccer
because we couldn't afford the uniforms, I landed
on my feet at Dollar-O-Rama!
The best thing here: we buy up the food that
supermarkets throw away, and some WE actually
throw away. Well, no more! That last goes to OUR table.
My wife last week took a smashed blueberry pie and
blended it with her homemade yogurt. Great!
We called it our Patriot’s Sundae.
The girls bragged about it, and we had to stand up
at their next game. The announcer said that praising
us was praising America!
Monday, October 20, 2014
The Duty of History
Our new museum has a nice-looking fella
revolving in a lighted case. Looking like a
manikin from a solid store.
The radio guys keep giving it the horselaugh, but
Buzz Deadly, who’s head and shoulders over the rest–-
not narrow--says History should preserve everything.
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Seeking the Cause
-I told him that when we were kids we said
-Grave mistake. He’s a linguist. Will write
a series of papers on that tiny element.
And talk us crazy!
-Why are so many bores in the university?
Saturday, October 18, 2014
The Place of Coffee and Enactment
Misty complains that Rudolph is not getting
He’s all four-letter words!
It’s acting. We suggest. If it’s one f-word
after the other, it’s too disgusting.
Yeah it is! That’s him!
Darla steps in and plays Buck. She’s withering!
Wow! Hidden fires.
I suppose. I do fury!
The judge has decreed that Buck come in later
and watch the DVD. He sits like a librarian.
A broad as me? How chick-flick!
You’ll hafta watch it again and again if you don’t
say something positive.
She uglier than I am.
But Buck does offer to play a part in the next psychodrama. He’s assigned sex-addict Carly. Really shimmies, even grabbing Rudolph by the crotch.
Ouch! Don’t get carried away!
We can be. Together.
In this tender moment, news comes that Rhonda has missed this performance to buy a gun!
So what? It’s a Right To Shoot State!
But Darla inquires on her cell, finding out
it’s a gift to Rhonda’s mother for Mothers’ Day.
So sweet! Like you!
Stick to Rudolph, you pig!
Now Misty informs Buck that if he didn’t clean up
his act right now, she’d...!
You’ll get Rhonda’s mother to shoot me, or Rudolph to blow me!
You’ll love it! Ask Misty about my humongous package!
More Words follow, and Buck destroys the furniture. Cops get there, and him in a
choke-hold, and he squeaks out:
I’m innocent! They’re the criminals! Breaking up
Misty has a change of heart then, hitting one
of the cops.
Friday, October 17, 2014
Trying to Understand: Budge and Hexler
-I never said the Republican Party didn’t have
a moral core-message!
-It’s fatally undermined by charlatans and thieves.
-How about sex whackos?
-Can you have a traffic jam of clown cars?
Thursday, October 16, 2014
The American Dream
is easy! Not rough
a kind of thrill.
Rich tell you what
it is, and politicians
follow suit, boots
strapped up and
but only with
the codicil of
pie in the sky
bye and bye.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Sayonara, Lone Star
Rip and Cooley, Machinists Union
So, another health care idiot in Texas gets Ebola?
Despite the funny suit!
Hey the blueprint set when Ruby shot Oswald.
The whole huge state is, like, totally incompetent!
It’s a Right-to-Work State.
Right to get fucked!
Some wanna make it a separate nation!
Don’t let the door hit 'em in the ass!
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Couldn’t Be Shorter
-How’s that anti-virus?
-Just got it, and popups asking me to renew.
-Hurried Capitalism. We call it Rush to Fuck.
Monday, October 13, 2014
The Irreverence of Small Groups
Three Italian-American Stallions
You got jaggedy things sliding around
in your eyes?
Yeah! Multi colors.
That's the clincher!
A certainty. And note how black he is!
Hey, Ignoramus! Sturdy Sicilian peasant stock!
A few family members, but just keeping their
My Friend, OUR oldest predecessors hailed from
the cultured cities. From Rome and Florence!
And we go back to Caesar! Whitely.
Who screwed up on the Ides of March crap,
or he'd still be with us.
Busting clods of shit with webbed feet!
So now I'm a duck? I don't get no respect!
By way of alleviation, allow me soon to escort
raw you unto my Corridor of Art.
He got two paintings.
Number One: “Mussolini Midst the Flowers.”
Or, “The Ghinny in the Garden.”
And Number Two...!
“The Ghinny in the Gas Station.”
Hanging upside down, unfortunately. Duce, not painting.
Mistress alongside. But the Partisans tied her skirt for modesty sake.
The morals of murderers.
From an old Puritan strain that 's big here now.
Enough culture! What'll we do with our Ebola paison?
Unfortunately, my Hazmat Suit is hanging in Mother's closet. Maybe my Father can bring it on the bus.
He standing guard on it presently?
Yeah! Retired. You know how they are.
Too much fuss and bother! Let's pour about
a gallon of homemade Ghinny Red down him!
And watch pro football?
Si! Any Italian players?
Most of your color, but not ethnicity.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
The Reach of Mathematics
-After lovemaking... and I cringe to use
-You cringe to use any phrase.
-I thought I'd be clever back then.
-That's a reach always.
-So I said "That's all gratifying enough,
but how does it work mathematically?"
-She ran with it and hasn't shut up since.
-Even now? Old Married Folks.
-Well, how could you know she was a mathematician?
-She's hardly a large number, but she's the
large number girl!
-A trillion, she's just getting started.
-It never stops! Even now, she's sleeping,
but all the computers in the house are
buzzing equations. Endless stream.
-Love’s a strange amalgam.
-Stranger yet. Herself, she just fiddles
on a legal pad and sings. It's nonsense,
but the whole world comes to...
-You know, you been looking dowdy. Let me
comb your closet for something
sedate but sufficiently masculine.
The latter to eventually alleviate the Minimalist Husband Syndrome at the Nobel.
-Hey! Minimalist I love. Screw it! Let's go to
the hockey game and scream our asses off.
-Let's go to ten. Fast! She's on the short list.
Distinguished! She'll win! Some of it will rub off.
-I hope not!
-Why don’t you aspire to aspire?
-One's enough! How many empty Rice Crispie boxes do you wanna pick from the shelves?
-They also serve who straighten out the
-She's crazy about me!
-Part of her insane parcel.
-I'm King, I'm fuckin King!
-Maybe more like Dan McGrew. “With the first shot he stiffened, second one he fell, third, a new
man's face in hell!"
-You be Dan. I'm Louis Fourteen!
-Think of each face in hell in an entirely vast
panoramic shot, then zoom out leaving each
as small as a grain of sand! Wow!
-She'll do the math in her head!
-What’ll you do in yours?
-You've gotta stop being happy! I can’t
-They also serve who only screw around.
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Giru, Bowling Alley
-I worry ALL THE TIME!
-Nothing all the time.
-I thought, maybe God? Give it to...?
-Depends on which one.
-Was brought up Catholic.
-That's a good one for worry.
Jewish best. Various Protestant
sects a mollycoddle third.
-Leaving out Moslem.
-Those people? All they do is
kill each other!
-Sounds prejudiced, o Exalted One!
-A strong prejudice or two stamps
-Well...that does it for worry, then?
Now, there's another problem that...
-Stop! Gotta bowl.
-Do you get mostly strikes?
-Far from it. The sport defies goodness.
Three strikes and I'm outa here!
-Mixing your metaphors.
-Show your badge, Detective Language Police!
Friday, October 10, 2014
Idealists and Cut-purses.
The Tragic Flaw
The next revolution came too fast.
I had just gotten my uniform tailored.
"Get rid of that pot, you'll be a movie star!"
my supervisor cracked.
Now he's dead, and the uniform's forbidden.
We have to find old clothes, paying dearly
"This is the first example," laughed Causely.
“Après le Deluge, le Gouge! Therefore we no
longer must mouth Socialist Man! Now it's
Free Market! Doesn't that just give you a tingle?"
"There'll be more. Classes compulsory."
"Can't wait! Hey! This one might last shorter
than the last."
"I've hidden my uniform."
"Shhhh! Just be patient. Their thieves
are undermining them even as we speak.
Their tragic flaw."
Thursday, October 09, 2014
The Football Group, a Vaudeville
Engaged on Several Fronts
-Harry up with those drinks! He's coming to a boil!
-Centuries of crazy shit, and they've emerged from
dusty backwardness to be able to kill each other with
close to Western Competence. I say get out of their way!
-Wouldn't talk like this if we had a Mahmoud in the group.
-Who's stopping him? We got two Afros and Saul, so who's
to say we're prejudiced?
-Haven't seen him lately.
-You hear him first.
-Incidentally, don't you think we had OUR centuries of crazy shit?
-That was then! This is now!
-(muffled) Who dat fightin down dere? Save it for after the game!
-(together) Nobody here but us Christians.
-(shouting) Besides, you got the wrong end of the stick. It's the TV!
Wednesday, October 08, 2014
-I can let you go, or you can become one
the kids again. At a fifth of the salary.
-I'll do it! Gwen has saved.
-You'll be treated like shit.
-Looking forward to it!
-Welcome to Capitalism where they grind
your balls off!
-That's just reality. I'm encouraged!
-And after reading all that shit in the business
press about indomitable spirit, here I thought
it was only for CEOs!
Tuesday, October 07, 2014
The South–-in process of rising
-Not enough they done already, now this
-E Freakin Bola!
-Sounds like one of thems weird names
in phone book.
-You want ‘em have separate one?
-Nah, you can tell.
-Well...don’t catch it!
-Their final gift?
Monday, October 06, 2014
I dreamt I saw Jim Fisk last night
Colorado Schoolboard retreats on a History
exalting Heroes of Free Enterprise.
That vast thrust of grease.
Thus, anyway, does Right fail again in its
lecturing the undeserving Help from the
Country Club porch.
Hop over to Utah, meet Joe Hill. Go early: he’s
coming off the Graveyard Shift.
Sunday, October 05, 2014
Goats Roam Sophisticate’s Ranch
The bald man has
a Bad Hair Day.
What's left, spiking
crazily. We thank him
our resident asshole.
Born to that strident
trade the day
he commenced the chrome-
doming process. When
a laugh track
To our ditz-
y blonde, perhaps.
Or fully tap another
even lesser, anent
gang of idiots.
Saturday, October 04, 2014
Important to modern parables
that “Doctors amazed!”
Thus, flaming assholes
cured in faithful
Ozarks. Not so
much in lurching
cities where sin
greases to each
And wit is all
to go on.
Friday, October 03, 2014
The Fun of Rancor
-Well, you groused and orated, but used the grimy regulations
to raise more money than us.
-We had a choice? Your Court rammed it in and broke it off.
We walk around with it in there, or we don‘t walk!
-And you beat us again with a vigorous young person! Uh huh?
-And you’re monumentally pissed! Having come so close
with your corn-fed prissy. Oh well, let the dance begin!
You’ll oppose the President on everything, however petty,
for his first term. And odds are he’ll get a second.
-We’ll blow him outa the water before that!
-Uh huh? In the second, you’ll investigate everyone and his
grandmother. Throwing up pictures of the old broad's cunt
on monitors around the hearing room.
-You exaggerate! Somewhat. But if your boy gets two
terms, he leaves on a Rascal Scooter!
Thursday, October 02, 2014
Taxes, Free and Brave
“Look! You take a hundred dollar bite out of millions of ragged asses.
That way you leave the Gotrocks be!
They finance our campaigns. A fair tradeoff
Wednesday, October 01, 2014
Examples Gross as Earth
Not knowing, quite,
she did nothing. Again.
A pattern? You might say?
You might, if you said
anything at all. Why
not try? Oh? Well,
better luck next time!