Wednesday, February 28, 2018

 

Now You Know


Frankie shot Faithless Johnny


thrice. And


when the third shot hit him
was a new man’s face in Hell!


Satan explained how each instantly
put on The Wall of New Faces
and showed it to me. Vast!


“But...there’s a separate wall for
women’s faces then?” I puzzled.


He shrugged “No women here.
Ever.”


“Hell male?”


“Exclusively!”


“Somehow I like that!”



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Tuesday, February 27, 2018

 

Solo


It seems everyone had a plan for Giselle.


She kiboshed further medical tests, though.


So Very Promising! Uh huh? They’d REVEAL!


At last etc. Yup.


Just about guaranteed to contradict each other.


“From mud to mud!” she told Bill Helltor,
forgetting it was DR Bill Helltor.


“Get the tests. G! Be an individual when it
doesn't MEAN shit!”

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Monday, February 26, 2018

 

Round of Layoffs


So he must beg to keep his job?


Abject humiliation!


Especially since he must beg you,
his sniveling inferior all these years!


I’ve not sniveled lo these many grimy
timeframes!


And when will you loosen the thumbscrews
on him? Just let him work?


Probably never.


You know? When I speak to someone
like you, I still remember there are
different, decent people in the world!


Where?

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Sunday, February 25, 2018

 

The Comparison


First time Glads and Chester split,
she was the wronged party.


You want to see WRONGED? Oy!


So this last time, she orchestrated
his total humiliation.


Bill Hetz remarked that “She left him
like the smoking ruins of a
Syrian city full of dead children!”


The rest of us  cried foul at such
a comparison, but he declared
there are no rules when  it
comes to personal cruelty.

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Saturday, February 24, 2018

 

Reality


-I read your last interview.
Please allow a temperate boo.


-I’m kinda forced to be the way I am.


-You mean similar to being the way you were forced to back when?


-Different ways, but, yes.


-Whatever happened to


    I am the Captain of my Ship,
   and the Master of my Soul! ?

-That’s Literature.


-Can’t life be Literature?


-Satire, yes.

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Friday, February 23, 2018

 

Placement


Zif couldn’t say why he left it there.


Been cleaning, nothing major. Just
“rhetting up” as the Pennsylvania
Dutch say.


‘Well put it back!” --from Dorrie,
here to take him to dinner at
Luigi’s, since his car was at the
dealers.  Again.


The following week, a few more
friends agreed that it looks
ridiculous there.


Biff and Nellie, both of whom had
held elective office, sang They’re
coming to take you away.


Cecil T. Ordway just shrugged at
Bowling Night. Explained that
when he designed for the stage,
he sat for hours staring at a model
of the set, and moving miniature
furniture around.


That very image gave Zif anxiety.


And Loftus, that longtime companion,
spouted “Don’t listen to him! All our other
chums are a freak show already. You’re
sanity! Move it back!”


So he did, and his breathing got
progressively better.


But, in its accustomed place, why
does it still call attention to itself?

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Thursday, February 22, 2018

 

The Art of Adjustment


Rink’s little social experiments
constantly flopped.


Leaving Live-in Melsy to suggest,“Why don’t we just let things settle in by themselves this time? Just...take it easy!”

He agreed, but didn’t act that way.


She started packing her things.


So they finally had the talk he had promised.


And he became less Firebrand, and more Cuddle Bunny.


Their politics reverting to sweetly Left.


Uh huh? say you. He’ll try again
to control her.


Nope.


Hope, then, that the prevailing Hieronymus Bosch Conservatives, too, will uncover a personal life?


Mid Guns, and Rights crying out!


It’s Sex won’t listen.


Divine Plan.

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Wednesday, February 21, 2018

 

Rural Charms


“Town consists mostly of thieves.”


I passed off the Sheriff’s remark as Law Enforcement Wit.


But a year later, I met with him to decide which particular cheat worth pursuing.


“All too petty,” laughs he. “You know those French guys in those sword-fighting flicks? What they yell, I mean?”


“En Garde!”


“Best you can do.”

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Tuesday, February 20, 2018

 

Talk At a Cold Time



-Watched The Olympics?


-Yes! Very large moving color!


-That last is the sport component.

-Hadn’t noticed.

-Oh? No difference between Ice Dancing and Curling?

-It’s TV.

-Uh huh? And TV subsumes it all?

-Plus itself.

-Aren’t we just back to the ridiculously dated MEDIUM IS THE MESSAGE?

-No medium, no message.

-Nothing then?

-Chromatic!

-Chromatic Nihilism then?

-It...removes one by enveloping.

-You must get out more!

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Monday, February 19, 2018

 

Leaving Nothing To Chance


Prided myself on my checklists.

Throughgoing and complete!

But, at the  end, the proverbial
day late and dollar short

As you probably knew, St Peter
quite the ribber.

“Why not just trust us?”

Heaven evidently the beginning
of truly stupid questions.

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Sunday, February 18, 2018

 

Knowing One


-And Then He Died


-Voiding the deal?


-Not really. I still persist in
trying to get to know him.


-How characterize him thus far?

-Complex!


-Hey, we’re all complex! What do you look for beyond that?


-Myself.

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Saturday, February 17, 2018

 

From Your Republican


Thanx for the sacrifice of your child for my cause.


Cause is heavy. I say what I’m
paid to.


And, oh, nearly forgot.


Thoughts and prayers, or whatever catchwords of Ball-less Christianity.

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Friday, February 16, 2018

 

The One



The quintessential work of Capitalism
remains FIVE WHO DARED!


Four have left us, and bitter wives
and children.


The fifth transcends.


Aldo "Monds" Carachiolia!


He extorted his mother on her deathbed.


Comprises The Hall of Fame for now.

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Thursday, February 15, 2018

 

Views


Insisted Ruhrf:

-Only one thing to discover.
Where's the ox in the paradox?

Countered Delsey:

-You say that for sound.

Shrugged Laurel In Mist:

-And if he did? Isn't that much
more of a better start?

Snapped Ralph, our Conservative:

-The Final Degradation!
No meaning!

Smiled Ruhrf:

-Let's ride with melody a bit.
Closer to Truth.


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Wednesday, February 14, 2018

 

Paying Attention

'Pads And Tampons And The Problems With Periods:' All-Male Committee Hears Arizona Bill On Feminine Hygiene ...
KJZZ
Hoke and The Other Larry

-Should be woman or two, but a lot of all-male committees.

-That’s stinking reality?

-Hey! These men have daughters, wives, girlfriends!

-A little knowledge gynecological required?

-Always apply the Other Larry Rule!

-What’s it this time?

-Let’s all grow up.  Starting with me.

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Tuesday, February 13, 2018

 

The Woman Out of Phase


Simple enough. Noon=Midnight.


She keeps her habit of phoning her
late night friends, but they’re
working.


And, of course, no one will go to
lunch with her.


Then, one even stranger day, she
goes to bed at 11 AM, wakes an
hour later. Refreshed! Ravenous!

The phone rings. It’s Carl, back from
a two-week sales trip to Oregon.

He wants to treat her to

The Sunday Monster!

A fancy, if excessive, breakfast
brunch at the local Sheraton.


When she comes up for air enough
to listen, he claims “Hey! I was BORN
out of  phase!”

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Monday, February 12, 2018

 

Racking It Up


-Well, I've compiled a ton of evidence!


-What does it show?

-I...don’t know! That is, I had a clear idea when I began...but…?

-You just need some help at this stage is all.

-Attorney or two? No thanks! When I decide to burn money,
let you know.

-No, of course not. I’m thinking of a few more totally
bonkers conspiracy virtuosos like yourself!

-Of the likes of such was this great nation built!

-Don’t remind me! Still shuddering!

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Sunday, February 11, 2018

 

Time


Quite Sweet Jeannie even sweeter
with the Honeymoon over.


Her accounts of newly married life
amuse sardonic women.


Until!


Well, something she confides, sourly,
to Account Manager, Rose.


“Now she must pray to St Punctilious,
little timing problem in the Sex Department.”


Jeannie frequently snaps then, especially at
younger colleagues.


Her six-month party celebrated with weak
martinis and cupcakes.


Rose orders some swishing of water after.


“After all, we meet the public!”


Jeannie insists the public is suet.



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Saturday, February 10, 2018

 

The Man Whose Wife Misunderstood Him


finally resolved to act with clarity,
explaining all his motives en route.


As a result, she got him less and less.


Left with one, Roger, a confused inferior.

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Friday, February 09, 2018

 

Rowing


Apologies


for missing posts.
Chunk flew


from Memory. & roosts
elsewhere? So


Docs did the major tests
to brain, but all is “functioning”
there. For Senior, that is.


Minimally. Age-mates assent
with resigned chuckle
following incurious shrug.


Youngers? Hey! it’s
a Foreign Culture


of the Not-Quite-Dead
to them.


They’ve turned
the boat around
& row furiously


a-WAY!

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