Monday, June 30, 2014
Canadians Sans Much Hate
Doing chores around his tiny cabin,
Nurpie liked listening to Budge
Magnow. Though Budge was pretty
In fact, had just finished labeling caller
Montreal Eddie as left of Marx, but
Eddie laughed that was a compliment.
But the best part of Magnow's shows
were when he took a week on a topic.
This next week would be Anxiety, and
Nurpie looked forward to it.
A lady doctor would come on from the
The bad side was that Nurpie started to
get anxious about everything, and called
his grownup kids without having much to say.
Emailed his ex who wisecracked “I just love
worry. It defines me.”
He met his only close neighbor, Bell, at
the mailbox, and Bell laughed, "Snow and
dread, an unbeatable combination."
The anxiety week passed and he encountered
nothing dreadful until he slipped and cut a
finger on the mailbox. Put on antibiotic
ointment and wrapped it tightly.
Wasn't sure if it needed a stitch, but
probably not. A lady in the southern
village did stitches. She had been
a nurse in mining camps.
Budge was going on about the American
Republicans having more guts than their
Canadian counterparts. Nurpie turned down
the volume and smiled as hail ticked.
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Whenever Mark called on
for a small public gesture,
like a toast at a wedding
reception, his Gladys
whispered “So pathetic.”
he bent in half
and gave it all over
leaving a coffee shop.
She held form.
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Just dropped in to see what condition her condition’s in
Married at 16. Divorced at 17. Again at 18, again
divorced, at 19.
21, the inevitable at 22.
At 24, married to a math professor she met at a gym
climbing wall, and who delighted in showing her previous
stints in a formula.
Came the critical year and they drank champagne.
So, she broke her string.
Took her GED instead. Then enrolled at the university in the
Bachelor Program in Physics!
Most thought she’d wouldn’t last the semester. Graduated with
Accepted as a PhD candidate.
Given a lab after that graduation...and twin girls.
Spent three fruitless years in research...but, somehow, was
Gave a paper in Gutenberg, and Hiyakawa of Japan and
Schiller of Germany lingered after it. They’d been experiencing
the same frustrations in the same slippery area.
She had no such right, but invited them to join her at the lab.
The dean went along for the publicity value. But the president
harbored numerous doubts. Had to be begged by her for budget
year after year.
In the meantime, her husband received a prestigious, though minor,
Math award, and they celebrated with colleagues in his jammed
office. The little girls were very cute in insisting on handling the
cleanup by themselves. Hardly big enough to lift the empty bottles.
Since it was so quirky, he knew his work would receive no further
recognition. But hoped for hers and her partners’.
“That ship has sailed!” she announced to them after one long day.
“But our ship sails on!” Shiller countered, and Hiyakawa applauded.
Those two continued to go at everything in a spirit of fun.
She, of fire.
The papers they wrote together were joked to be by Lady Macbeth
and her Song-and-Dance Men.
On her 44th birthday the Nobel shockingly called. Her team had been at 30 to 1 odds among the trade.
The celebration in the lab became a blast! With Drs Hiyakawa and
Schiller dancing a flamenco as their wives clapped and shrieked.
In the strange quiet after, with all gone except the family, she
exploded into tears. “The stupid...little broad...has done...
Teen daughters mystified.
Friday, June 27, 2014
Where You Sit
-We can’t afford to extend Unemployment Payments!
Nor anything else right now!
There is no Magical Money-Printing Machine!
-Could’ve fooled me.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Ire in Higher Circles
Making Law Midst Insult
"Yeah, nothing stings like the taunt of a fool!"
“Well, I'm stung all right! That Fairy! That intellectual
non-weight! Without government programs and insane
patrons he'd be...”
“No, that takes a knack and some brains. He's got
neither. In anything!”
“We can get back at him. It's gradual. Starts with a few
“How about one? To a hitman!”
“Dumbest bastard ever to draw breath, and he's that
much under your skin?”
“And a big man with the ladies, would you believe?--fighting
his fruity self.”
“They like to baby simpletons.”
“Yeah, especially with big dongs!”
“Another reason to hate him!”
“Women are Stupidos! Can't help it. Half in their genes.”
“And you run as a feminist!”
“What's the difference which lie you run on?”
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Yellow Brick Road
No sense to it,
As in far-out politics,
you seize your
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
With Chant and Song
They went to resonate with the famous guru.
It rained that week and so the dozens met
him in a basketball court, filling its dustiness
with chant and song.
Came home benign, as if rolling on ball bearings.
Decided to rid themselves of most worldly goods.
One day, Macky and Mushy, tenants there, staged
a quick intervention at the dump where the couple
had been strangling each other.
Monday, June 23, 2014
“Let the Market Decide”
The greasy transaction
is given cachet.
One merely plays
playing the odds.
With Stealing next
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Black, White, Gray
Clarence seemed too iffy, but Rence had intellectuality
to his friends.
He instructed Alice on complexities.
She finally shot: "You're ALL gray areas!"
He countered, "Then get a man who's black and white!"
She did. One who had lost his wife-dance partner
to Breast Cancer.
"All the queers marrying confuses. What the Church
is for, I'm for. Against, against."
Alice opined that there wasn't much in the 'for' category.
But Macher swept her into his hairy arms and an endless waltz.
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Living in Fear
Couples of Varying Ages
-How crazy would you say we were?
-Scale of ten, with ten threatening to plummet through
bizarre space forever?
-That's up there!
-Well, I don't wanna brag.
-Who are the ones through sixes? Relative normals.
-Your mother and my father, being sweetly incompetent.
-Can't say that! Incompetence being another scale.
-Okay, let's leave it pure then. Nut-ness chart only.
-Now, the opposite set...?
-YOUR father and MY mother?
-They may already be in charge.
-Armies must be raised against them!
-Too late! They're great organizers. They've got all the tens
already drilling, shooting. The whole heroic smear.
-What'll we do?
-Flee to Bora Bora.
-Where’s Bora Bora anyway?
-I'll google it before the severe maniacs come to dinner.
Why aren’t the incompetents better buffers, anyway?
-They’ll do their sweet, weak bests.
-Ugh! Dreading dinner diminishes!
-It’ll get worse when the batso pair know we’ve blown their cover.
-Maybe they’ll all get divorced, and then these two’ll...!
-It’s already a horror show without homegrown sex.
That...last ...IMAGE...has permanently mishmashed my brain!
-Like some Bacon with that Scrambled?
Friday, June 20, 2014
What To Make of a Diminished War
Sergeant Karks took a pile from the copying machine.
GUIDELINES FOR REMAINING TROOPS
"Shit! Paper cut!"
Sergeant Dentster had been watching him, under the principle
that anyone working in the army should be witnessed by
another. "Very symbolic, Karkie! Last drop of blood shed in this
fuckin shitass country!"
“Shove that symbolism where the sun doesn't shine, and get
me a bandaid outa that top drawer.”
“Top-Drawer all right! Like the both of us.”
“As if anyone cared!”
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Social Skills 101
Confessions Over Coffee
-Dreaded introducing anyone. I'd forget a name--even
of close people at times.
-Some things we're good, others not so.
-It was like I'd expose myself as a fraud. Nervous and
not really cool.
-A human person, in short.
-Very nearly panicked!
-Maybe too much about YOU?
-All I got is me. Is it any wonder that...?
-Well, it's late now.
-Not really. My watch says...
-I mean in your life.
-What difference does that make?
-I can come short and nobody cares?
-They care all right, but counting the months till
you’re out of here.
-Doesn’t...add up to much.
-Join the club.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
When Jonnies Come Marching Home
Girl dreams boy.
Boy dreams girl.
Missing is glory. So
that’s catered by
literal war. Say,
maybe they’ll get
together after glow?
The pretty gimp
and the impotent.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Visions and Revisions
2d Amendment too ill-
defined & 18th Century-ish.
The right to shoot &
kill the rest of us
must be more late-
ly enshrined. In
language like this.
Monday, June 16, 2014
PIN A STINKWEED ON RIGHTIES
WHEN GOVERNMENT PAYS
THE PRICE SHOOTS UP. THEIR
CONTRIBUTORS LEARNED IT
WITH MOTHERS' MILK.
THE REST COMPRISED OF
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Before Her Time
beat the social media craze. Long before Facebook
and LinkedIn, she handled a network of about two dozen.
And she told each her secret.
Extracting the promise not to tell another!
Would you believe that promise kept?
Flies against the odds.
Thus she, at eighteen, was spared ugly and brutish and
sarcastic and vicious gossip.
This last from women.
What WAS Lara’s secret?
As one of the two dozen, my lips remain sealed.
Sexual in nature?
At eighteen? How could you get such an idea?
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Queen of Summer and Her Court
And the bridesmaids’ dresses, of a kind of semi-florescent
salmon, were soaking through with sweat!
Oak Juntsley went to the minister. “Crank up the A/C! I’ll pay
extra, you cheap ecclesiastical son of a bitch!”
Just before the ceremony, old Dr Andernathy went to the car
for a blanket for his Cecille, who had once synchronized swum
in a justly forgotten Olympics.
The bride turned tremblingly beautiful. Groom leaned into her
to support. The double rings proved difficult, what with icy
Fortunately, the reception outdoors: the smothering humidly
a positive tonic by then.
A tottering Oak finally offered a toast to the minister, who
then repeated word for word his message about forgiveness
in marriage--his wife, already drunk, sneered so, she had to
be eased behind the caterer’s tent.
Friday, June 13, 2014
Rose By Its Name
-That's some fund you've authored there! Millions upon millions!
-To help me and certain hand-picked others.
-And the zillionaires who contribute expect nothing in return: that's the American Miracle!
-Just the advancement of core conservative principles.
-You were never one for phrasing.
Thursday, June 12, 2014
This Place and Show Low
doesn’t die but stops.
Placed in warehouse.
Finally they put in flashdrive containing Jack Mercer-Dunne of Show Low, AZ.
Thus Mr Empty then cheers for the AZ State Sun Devils, tells corny jokes and gooses both sexes.
Gone are weighty concerns. Replaced by a dream of guns.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
So many who march
to war are not killed.
So they sing along
with martial strains.
The girls are warm
and the old men warmer. But,
the former worth something.
So...you should emerge with nothing
worse than an ingrown toenail?
A salubrious state, more or less.
If a part of you is blown off--
and let's face it, they're valuable
all--you'll be thanked for
your service by politicians, and
placed on a waiting list
at the VA hospital.
Most of your life comprised
of waiting from here on.
So pack up your troubles
in a plastic bag
and smile smile smile.
Lucifer in attendance
to light your flag.
You’ll recognize him as
the steadiest patriot
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
The Brand New Revolution
The Relatively Happy Manager
was shattered at work that Monday
with the news that all the fork-lifts
were missing. The usual drivers watched
porno and sent out for donuts.
His supervisors screamed as usual, but in
a higher key.
Just acting. They had rented out the machines at
an exorbitant rate to The John Galt Physicians Corps, who were attacking City Hall at that moment.
Part of the First Privatized Revolution-–eschewing
the Army, any government component--were soon
joined by Chamber of Commerce types who gouged
everybody buying munitions.
The revolutionaries soon began fighting among
themselves over eventual splits of booty.
City Hall forgotten as a prize, and destroyed.
The overall leader, a militant accountant, was
summarily executed on the smoking ruins
by The Tea Party Patriotic Brigade.
A Rabbi went on TV to plead for reconciliation
but was ridiculed for not carrying a gun.
The other clergy had leased tanks from NATO partners.
One shadowy group who proudly called themselves
Wingnuts for Capitalism claimed they had the bomb, and would explode it at a random National Football League game.
Con men were freed from Danbury and other federal prisons.
One became the new, nominal leader, saying,
in his best Patrick Henry imitation: "The opportunity to so massively steal cannot be ignored."
Well, Money never lost a war. Or a revolution?
But shouldn’t either have some ideals? Okay, stupid
question. For America anyway.
The Commercial is Everything! had been the motto
going in. Most of the spouters are dead but the
words live on.
Non-revolutionaries held for ransom. The case
with our original manager. His wife fetched him
for ten thousand and they immediately left for
Monday, June 09, 2014
Perpetual Debate Topic
-Well, more and more jobs! No mistaking
this recovery. At last!
-Pour me out another two fingers.
-You've been drinking my Democratic Scotch
for fifteen years!
-My Tea Partiers want it to be patriotic bourbon.
-And you better start paying for it. Show receipts
when you're hauled in.
-Hey! According to them, I should never be in your
impure company. But back to today's figures. You got permanently unemployed in there, not counted.
-Them. Once more into the breach!
-These simpletons will never work again. And you
Democrats don't give a shit!
-Historically, you Republicans never have! And never will!
-Yup, but don't know about the latter. Your nerdy scientists might get pigs flying yet.
Sunday, June 08, 2014
Legends of the 'hood
“I hope it’s all right.
Felt so natural.”
Was, and did. Not to rash
prattlers who assert
her former perished
in a flaming crash.
(Bit of a daredevil and
bad luck too.) This
present transported his keen
self a few blocks away,
where a random drive-by
did him in. Teen: “We
had the gun and the car,
so why not?”
“Kiss of Death” sold
in the neighbor-
hood. Has gotten old,
but no line forms
for pretty her.
Saturday, June 07, 2014
Thus Working It Out
“Is it okay if I don’t do everything perfectly
every single time?”
Melody snapped the whip. “No!...and sorta yes.”
“Good! Wiggle room!”
“Try wiggling. Anything!”
Friday, June 06, 2014
The American Beauty
Rose at noon,
sans makeup, in
boxy sweater and
ripped jeans. No use.
Male Barista shakily jived,
and her sisters, though tart-
ed up for business,
could never match her
even in this slattern state.
Who can say life fair?
You only work bits
at a time towards that. At
any rate, the women in
Thursday, June 05, 2014
French Officials Twist U.S. Arms in Bank Inquiry *
Forgive the French
for being crooks.
In other ways, so so
très charmant! Look-
as others sweat
about the books.
Wednesday, June 04, 2014
A Legal History
the judge as
a tug to get on
same page. Then,
don’t fuss. Knows
our pretty way a-
round a case.
Tuesday, June 03, 2014
Department of Heavy Questons
How Many Illegal Immigrants
Can Dance On the Head of a Pin?
Depends. You need ‘em for rhetoric, what’s the difference ever?
You need ‘em to pick your fuckin melons:
Monday, June 02, 2014
Your new tablet chimes you alerts. Phils vs Mets,
each scoring play.
But a darker turn this moment at the hotel.
Delsey leaving you
Then the chimes in fairly rapid succession:
Girlfriend Mims in taxi
Picking out Delsey’s stuff from yours
Delsey claims she bought toaster oven
Given up on splitting goods
Mims says too much fuss anyway
Delsey says you’re not worth it
Phones Two Vets and a Truck and will take it all
The chimes have lulled you, and Phils and Mets in
Howard home run wins it in 12 for Phils
Time to switch off.
Sunday, June 01, 2014
Fidelity in the Neighborhood
They used the forever word.
Feeling hotly natural about it.
Unexpected, and odd.
She shrugged: the Roulette Wheel
He nodded, having lost standing in
the forever business.
Later, that wheel spun again.
And yet again.
Place your bets, Ladies and Gentlemen!