Friday, January 31, 2014


Theories and Dogmas and Wastelands

One of the renowned literary theorists of his time,
Paul de Man's legacy was destroyed by revelations
of his allegiance to the Nazi Party.*

I can see myself absorbing a new party and vice versa.
Heady, and full of great wishes for just about everybody!

But not that one, ever. None from the Right, in fact.

I’m so glad this last sentence will piss Conservatives off.

It’s just truth.

*Barnes and Noble Review

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Thursday, January 30, 2014


Suspicious of Sting,

whilst serving the People

-That's a shoe polish Ay-rab if I ever...

-His actual skin.

-Uh huh? And that robe looks like Sears.
Ladies' department.

-When he opens it, lined with cash. No receipts,
no nothing.

-I'm passing. Could be mikes in there too.
There are smoother ways.

-To represent the people?

-That's what we do.

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Wednesday, January 29, 2014



Varied Literacy

-Guy walking to the end of a game. Expects scary math there.

-Is it Minecraft?


-So comic! Still besotted by literature, are we?

-TV, more.

-Not as artificial.

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Tuesday, January 28, 2014


The Limits of Sensitivity

Representative Rant

“Never again hire me another of these thoughtful and sensitive

You’re in a meeting with the client and he’s spoiling for
a fight! Then these people pause more than talk when they’re
talking, getting him more and more pissed off!

Give me spouters! And I don’t give a shit what they say.

What if it’s nonsense? I can straighten that out with
The Enchilada later. At least he doesn’t get the chance to
drive his forklift into SENSITIVITY! Jesus H. Christ on a bicycle!
It’s business! Not touchy-feely at freakin Amherst!”

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Monday, January 27, 2014


Female Performance Art

Steady State

-All white males on the panel discussing us, so we went
as barefoot and pregnant, some holding plastic babies
or rag dolls!

-Jesus! At the most  prestigious university on the planet.
How did they react?

-Shit. A. Brick!

-They needed it! And did your little drama group sustain,
hitting others equally deserving?

-Hey! You run out of energy!

-Too true, but the younger people come along.

-Yeah, but the Pricks stay constant. Steady State. This is America!

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Sunday, January 26, 2014


And, Yet, of Discontent

In a Time of Lassitude

-A fierce dedication, hey? To himself!

-I don’t find that objectionable. It’s to SOMEthing.

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Saturday, January 25, 2014


By The Book

Vive les règles

The baker never enters the shop. Rather, leaves his
fragrant trays on tables in a room the girls call
Limbo. There, they or his wife fetch them, first
making sure he has left.

After many years, Dr André insists he slow down,
so another baker hired to assist.

Now the women know Limbo is safe when the
murmuring stops.

What they decipher: opposing points of Grammar.  

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Friday, January 24, 2014


Barrel of Despicables

Prayer And Culture

-You've been described to me as godly.

-That's a stretch. I do pray.

-Well, I don't. I both envy you, and scorn you for being
in a barrel of despicables. Hypocrites!

-Not to judge. All faiths tell  you that. And even Voltaire
instructed in cultivating your own garden.

-You're all set then. But I'm in motion, and can't quite get
to that garden.

-Must put that on top.

-And nothing tears at you in your benign...?

-Whoa! I haven't GOTTEN anywhere. It's a process of arriving.
I’m not immune to despair, depression. But I give them over.

-We part on that giving up.

-Enemies I hope not.

-Yes and no.

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Thursday, January 23, 2014


Guns in Heaven

Celestial Boom-Boom

-Will there be guns in Heaven?

-Of course. Every make and model.

-That'll scare the fairies. They'll think murder!

-As they should. Plenty of that there.

-But the target'll just get up and walk away?

-So what? You can nail him again and again!

-Continuous revenge! I love it!

-It’s Heaven after all.

-How about hunting? The downed beast comes back to
life and ambles off?

-That's right. Plenty more.

-So, no trophies!

-Just women for that.

-You're joking!

-Yes, but just in a way: They'll know their place there.

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Wednesday, January 22, 2014


Making Lemonade

Public TV

-She's on the board so couldn't steer her away.
She wanted to see backstage, the beating heart
of the operation.

-So what? It is what it is.

-Yeah? It's a shithole! Crap everywhere! She froze
up at the green sandwich.

-You expecting the phonecall presently?


-Hey! Tell her that sandwich is a prop from
French Cooking Now!

-The famous green bread of Brittany?

-Mais oui!

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Tuesday, January 21, 2014


Usual Suspects

The Fay Wray Screaming Contest

The Usual Suspects Film Society of The Culinary University
played two classics for party backgrounds, Casablanca,
and King Kong.

As a result, students knew every line of dialog spoken by Bogart,
Bergman, and Rains, and would often  spout one or two,
applicable or not, in various situations.

King Kong was honored by The Fay Wray Screaming Contest, 

first instituted during the 4 AM dregs of a keg party.

Never really a contest, since Misty always won going away.
As slim a blonde as Fay, but even more of a belter, a sustained
C over C proved no strain.

When Rets took a job as Pastry Chef at The Mutiny Hotel in Miami, Misty tagged along to help run the front of the house, and they soon developed a circle of young friends.

Thus was held the first Fay Wray Screaming Contest 

in Coconut Grove.

Misty again would have won, but elderly  neighbors called police.

“We thought it was a murder!” they explained later to Lt Boris Haskell, with all gathered in the courtyard to sort things out.

The complainants in pajamas and robes, the elderly male
went on: "It goes through you! It goes right through you!"

Rets told the puzzled pair, "This looks like the start of a
beautiful friendship."

Misty, when signing the police report, whispered to
the woman, “The Germans wore gray, you wore blue.”

Added Rets, “I’m no good at being noble, but it doesn’t take
much to see that the problems of four little people don’t
amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you
two’ll understand that.”

Later in the apartment, Misty got upset anyway. "Don't worry
about it,” consoled Rets, "they're just Jews."

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Monday, January 20, 2014



Blind Justice

Bell apologized to Supervisor Reddly. It was a foolish mistake,
a brain fart, but trivial. And he caught it quickly, and corrected it.

Evidently not so trivial, since a guard appeared, and Bell was
told to fill the proffered cardboard box and walk out with him.

“That’s not a firing mistake! Nowhere near! Did he ask you to
blow him and you refuse?”

Bell didn’t know how his friend, Chunks, came up with things!

But Chunks wasn’t to be deterred. “They count on nice guys
doing nothing. Well, not this time!”

Soon he was on the phone with National Overall Personnel,
and his intense drama got a hearing scheduled in three months.

At the hearing, a completely different charge was read out,
which was okay with Bell, since he had forgotten the original one.

His two attorneys, male and female, had negotiated the change.

The complant, when detailed, involved one, Carruthers, at a
different work locale in another city.

He whispered this mistake to the attorneys, who told him they
were going to let it slide, since this Carruthers was very active
socially, and volunteered for everything. That would sound
good in Bell’s defense.

He forgot most of what he heard in the three day procedure,
and the government lawyers were sarcastic as to his
misty answers.

His male advocate asserted: “Mr Carruthers has lost his mind
due to the cruel and baseless and entirely erroneous charges
feloniously leveled against him. The Red Cross and Salvation
Army and scores of others will experience a great loss if he
cannot recover.”

His female lawyer acted out a drama where a bum is rescued
near a Salvation Army Kettle, and becomes the mayor of an
Alaskan town. She shivered in carrying out both parts:
Kettle Attendant and bum.

The room enthusiastically applauded, and she bowed shyly.
The Judge called for order, but she, too, was crying.

Bell won the case and was reinstated, but at Carruthers’ job
in the bottling plant. The foreman there, Rip Kelley, laughed
“What the fuck’s the difference what anybody’s called?”

Bell, though, was somewhat sad that the real Carruthers had
been disappeared.

“Hey! Luck of the draw!”  Chunks told him. “Besides, they’ll
probably get a young guy marked for periodic eradication, and
plug him in as you. So everybody wins!”

“Not Carruthers. "

“He has gone to a happier place!” Wasn’t that the crap
the leaders once peddled in the dark ages? Anyway, what’s
the difference? Today’s shit just as bad! By the way, what’s
your first name?”


“Oh? Fancy-shmantsy! Gonna start wearing Calvin Klein

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Sunday, January 19, 2014


Casting About

“Change your aspect!”

charges the advice as
fast desperation lodges

for its annual visit.
Ruck thinks hobby,

the former results
shoved under benches
in the garage. Or travel

to teeming Oriental interiors,
natives leaping like electrons.

Perhaps, grimy European cathedrals
showing brightest aspiration?
Pilgrims pissing among outside
stones, never quite
making it. Set-

tles on Miriam, whose ass
holds several pecks,

gallons, in fact.

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Saturday, January 18, 2014


Disease Without a Cure?

Romantic Adjustments

-As a cheater, she was World-Class, replete with the
protestations of love undying, and the little dances of
total hurt when she got caught. Plus, of course, the liquid
promises never again to etc etc etc.

-And he, the perpetually-bruised Aggrieved?

-You could say–-for fantasy’s sake. I’d ranked him a hair
above her, actually. Cheat-Meister. Worshiped in the Genre!

-But they loved each other...?

-Deeply! Profoundly! Und, forever-y!

-Uh huh? With always an eye open. So? What happened?

-The inevitably terrible implosion-explosion!

-And they haven't seen each other since?

-Uh? We'll get to that. She presently runs a ranch in Ida-fuckin-hole.

-And he?

-Mr Andre, herding a phalanx of other hairdressers in Honolulu.

-And living with Bruce, the Decorator?

-Nope. Never turned away from women. Just. Completely.
Loves ‘em! No ifs ands or buts.

-All right, get them together! I don't wanna order another
latte I could stand on.

-A reunion for those who once hung out at Limping Lefty's,
managed by this incompetent arranger of such weak events.

-Now THAT was a parcel of lame intellectuals!

-Then, yes.

-Well? When they saw each other? Our lovers, and not?

-Locked into an embrace and wept for an hour. We maneuvered
them into a side room, proceeding to get blind.

-See? THAT had been THE LOVE! Never to be duplicated.
Never! And then?

-She back to Idaho and he to Hawaii.

-Come ON! Gotta do better than that!

-Oh? Didn't know we were making a freakin chickflick here!
Excuse me altogether!

-Well I’m not satisfied!

-Who is ever?

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Friday, January 17, 2014


Republicans and Language

The Benghazi Bullshit

-Our polls say nothing remains of the dead horse
to keep beating it.

-I disagree, but mostly with the image. We don't have it
far enough up their ass yet. When we do, we'll break it off.

-They’ll scream in pain!

-An ongoing process.

-Why are we drinking champagne? No triumph or conclusion
just yet.

-Because that’s what we do.

-Like BBC--I understand it’s quite the custom.

-Must be pale variety. Most light in their loafers there.

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Thursday, January 16, 2014


Compounding Outrage

What’s Right Is Right

-How 'bout carrying a weapon WHILE playing football?

-Now you're just trying to get the pansies shrieking.

-My expertise.

-Speaking of tease, how’s that très experienced
secretary of yours?

-Still not putting out.

-Her future in question then?

-Not so! She makes good coffee, for one. 

Her predecessor never got the knack.

-In that only?

-We look for multitasking, of course.

-And the other party with their wisecracks of our being
locked in the nineteenth century!

-Gotta do Joe Hills on that Communist bunch!

-Could use such proud moments. And they already
got the blindfolds.

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Wednesday, January 15, 2014


West By God Virginia

State Capital

-The one got highschool education, and she does the talking.

-I can just imagine.

-Gotta helluva temper on her too.

-You can reason ’bout a minute or so with those people.

-Well they’re getting ready to picket the legislature, some
in homespun.

-No shit! Real hillbillies?

-Won’t look good for us.

-Well, what’s their complaint?

-Some halfass hunting club built an equally halfass dam.
When it gives way–-and it will–-well that’s a narrow hollow.
Will drown some hillbillies.

-No great loss. A few missing links.

-It’ll cost us on the TV.

-All right! What a pain in the ass! Anyway, go up there with
the state engineer. He’ll give em a plan for a dam that works.
One or two bankers in that club for sure. They can find the money.

-Can we help?

-Whattayuh think? Fuckin Socialism?

-I just thought must be some money under some act or other.

-Let’s pay half. Reward the Republicans in the Hunting Club.

-Which is all of 'em.

-It’s a Perfect World then.

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Tuesday, January 14, 2014


Problem, Outcome, Analysis


“I give most of my exes second chances.

They, uniformly, turn out even more bitter.

Perhaps it’s something in me.”

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Monday, January 13, 2014



The Society

Since the young people were ordered to
perpetually work, they leased a hall
from time to time for an insane bacchanal.

Screaming “Fuck you! We’re not working now!”

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Sunday, January 12, 2014



Handling Things

-We can't be grownups in everything. Take your breakup
with Lynne.

-I still cringe walking through the public rooms we
frequented. Stopped going to Crazy Charley's altogether.

-That ended so very very badly, and no peace treaty or

-I send her Christmas Cards.

-Do you?



-Immature, petty, gratuitously hurtful, uh...

-Add stupid.

-Burning bridges with trembling relish!

-Relationships are not war. They don't work out sometimes...
usually because of one rigid personality.

-Yeah, that's me all right, iron bar down through my head and
out though my dick.

-It’s all so connected, and so thoroughly dumb.

-So I wasn't mature that once?


-Well, really, how much are we grownup, and how much...?

-I'd say with sixty percent, you got one hell of a citizen!

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Saturday, January 11, 2014


Language Boosts Career

Your fortune assured
when you're turned into a verb.

Deckell Hastings was finished as an actor when he took the
part of Roarkie on the internet comedy, Forever Bent.

Roarkie screwed everything up.  His specialty: relationships.

Now couples all over the world saying "Don't roarkie me in
this one!" etc.

"And in Queneme, some African dump, it's totally freakin
gangbusters! Of course there, it's the word for a sexual
act too." His agent filled him in.

"Which one?" inquired the actor.

"Use your imagination!"

Nothing more difficult, so he forgot.

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Friday, January 10, 2014


The Right

Trial of Our Time

The Republican, accused
of Social and Economic

Murder, refuses
to testify.

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Thursday, January 09, 2014


Inventing a Defense

Kahuna and Advocate

-There's the Government side, and sui-cide.

-How much will it cost?


-That's Show Biz! I just wanna stay outa jail.

-As do I.

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Wednesday, January 08, 2014


Old Wives etc

Re Science of Yesteryear

Aunt Dorothea snapped “You could plant potatoes in those ears!
A boy went deef in this town!”

And Aunt Jill told him that if he kept insisting on making stupid
faces, his would freeze into the absolute worst one. Forever!

Uncle Reo could rival the aunts: “If you pull on it too much,
you’ll go crazy! Uh? How are you now, by the way?”

“Birdsong!” he answered. “Albany! Roto Rooter Roto Rooter
Roto Rooter!”

“You’re bullshitting, but they really got cases...”

So...growing up in a family wary and funny.

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Tuesday, January 07, 2014


Stand Your Ground, Beforehand

Coming Attractions

-So join “Preempt the Punks!” if you're so 

worried about us. Or you gonna wait 
till your daughter raped?

-What I've seen thus far is that you beat up simpletons.


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Monday, January 06, 2014


Fool Proof?


-Charlene is quite ditzy!

-Never met the like.

-Whereas George is steady-state.

-As befits a professor of electrical engineering!

-Yet she's the star of that odd pairing.

-How so? 'cause being at sixes and sevens perpetually, makes
for celestial brightness! Not!

-She's a Professional Idiot. Travels the world!

-What for? Doing the things we all do, but with scattering?

-Let's put it this way. If German engineers have tested a consumer
product through and through and...

-declared it absolutely, Teutonically finished! Ninety-nine point
nine perfecto!

-They send for her. They can declare it foolproof, idiot proof, or
whatever, she finds a way or ways to utterly confound them,
gumming up everything! Many end up babbling: “It's as close to
perfect as we could make it. No one could guess that someone
would employ it in these totally crazy ways!”

-Which she does naturally?

-Without a thought.

-What a valuable nut! I hope the professor appreciates...

-He really does when she's gone. Quite the single malt fancier!

-Like her, he tests them out!

-Employing his brain, though. At least at the start.

-Evidently not always the best thing at most points in a process.

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Sunday, January 05, 2014


Just Shopping?

Future Women

-Some say Ruthie-7 is just badly miked.

-That's not the only thing she's badly!

-Some guys go for all the whispering. Turns 'em on.

-Takes all kinds, unfortunately.

-Well, trade her in. There's a guarantee.

-Ever read that? Crap squared.

-They'll give you SOMEthing, maybe on a Monica.

-What's the word on her?

-Eat your Wheaties!

-Unfamiliar with the allusion.

-Americans don’t know their history!

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Saturday, January 04, 2014


All Work etc.


Finally achieving physician,
machinist, whatever ace,
but no breathing space

for a fun week at the cove. Rather,
further goals the way the game

runs. Marriage in the echo-
ing cathedral quite desirable
in there somewhere. Love, possibly.

But you, wreck, with your wry little
face, lay down card after card as if

you have forever. Shorting
your own deck.

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Friday, January 03, 2014


Roaring Snow


230 Jnn cof

No love at her place after, since:

400 Mk Lcl blky acct

Jeannine had picked that time to break it off,
and then he was at sixes and sevens exploring
the balky account with quick Mike and wary Lucille.

Soon he put nothing in the calendar, and Harlow insisted
on a week off for him.

In the mountains the fish, too, lackadaisical. He never shaved
or washed. The TV showed snow in a roar, so he left it on.

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Thursday, January 02, 2014


Heat of Darkness

Hooray For Hollywood

Sam totally black!
Uh uh! they say, bit
of lighter pigment

in all. Try a deep
cave. He dreams of
movie tarts sparked

by the exotic. Real
life results, nil.

Meantime, Curt, so white
as to be abstract, enters
the studio as a star. His

father runs the conglomerate
absorbing it. Extensive

filtration of bland looks and squeak-
y voice pull still further tricks. His

posse of pinks and browns rue-
fully enfold “Midnight Sam.”  So they de-

cide one fast evening to paint him
Leonardo DiCaprio’s hue.

But the drugs wear down. Fortunately,
film noir making a comeback, and he

becomes a gangster therein, terror-
izing corn-fed blondes from the interior.

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Wednesday, January 01, 2014


Color and Men

At the Health Club, After Working Out
Dockery, Cricket, Young Winslow

He’s cradling his pecker in expressive hues.

Oughta tie a string so he can find it.

Note now, ever caustic and colorless gentlemen, this shirt.

Tie-died was called before the hippies left us to our wars.

And got to laughing at their own ridiculous legacy!

And these trousers of Parisian Cocoa! The sheen, you’ll perceive...changes according to light.

Hell, mine do that! Except when washed.

What shade you call yours, Diggery-Dock?

Alley Mud mid Dogshit.

That's the trouble with you alleged males. No color!
Reflecting dull lives forever!

You doing that?

Can't help it.

Could you get us one of those girlfriends...

to chromatic us up to fit the modern scene?

There's only one and I possess her!

To the offense of eyeballs everywhere.

Laugh on boys! I'm heading for love in the afternoon, and
you to whatever lonely sports saloon.

Driving the clown car today is you?

Lay off him, Cricket! Why we're such expected dun roosters,
the girls shun us for dandies of suggested couture.

So she picks my clothes? So what? Lastly, this jacket of
Harris Tweed!

Still stinking of Harris!

Locked in the weave.

Anyhow, pussy-whipped in fashion, our Young Winslow!

First of many categories.

I hate sad endings.

And absurd presents.

Look at me! Completely! Fully! Here’s a PRESENCE for you!

How can we help not?

Go forth and sin no more!

Farewell, Assholes!

Takes one, etcetera.

Will she dye his hair too?

Nothing is more probable.

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