Friday, September 30, 2016


Outsized Fool as President?

Wouldn't be worst.

Core fanatics remind
somewhat of Jackson's.

Farmers smelling of sweat
and whiskey tromped mud
through the White House
in election celebration.

Scandalizing the genteel!

A lot of dishonest effort
in becoming genteel.

One gripes.

And grips!

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Thursday, September 29, 2016



She showed up in a red pantsuit for the debate.
What does that say?

It says “We’re here and we’re bold! We’re no longer putting up with your demeaning horseshit!”

It says all that?

In spades!

Oh well, add that to the fact that you never stop
talking anyways.

By all means! Add anything you wish.

Maybe he can look bolder next time? Borrow one
of Sonny’s old outfits from Sonny and Cher.

You win all the trivia contests from here on.

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Wednesday, September 28, 2016


Taking the Second

-I'm for gun rights too.
Just not in Eighteenth
Century language.

-Well regulated militia
being some such modern

-We need, of course, a
Constitutional Convention.

-Bring the whole works up to date?

-Totally necessary. Eliminate the
Eighteen Century thicket of language.

-And what will the National Rifle
Association lawyers advise as
to this clarity?

-Continue to cower in the thicket!
Shoot from there.

-For how much longer?


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Tuesday, September 27, 2016


Chasing the Knucklehead

-Did you chase the knucklehead?

-I did!


-Someone yelled “Chase the knucklehead!”

-Chase On!

-And so so urgently! So I did. I thought: maybe an offshoot of a cyber game?

-Game On!  And... if you caught him? 
What then?

-Uh, when he slowed, I did.

-How did it end?

-Motorcycles clogged the street.

-Protecting him?

-Or the opposite.

-Well, which?

-Never found out.

-And you don’t wanna, yes?

-Can’t be interested in everything!

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Monday, September 26, 2016


Hillbilly Mirror

-The van Iderstines still embark on The Sunday Drive!

-Actual Bentley?

-The same!

-And our task?

-To Hillbilly Mirror them. We got an old Chevvy
pickup we bashed real good. And overalls and trashy flannel shirts from Salvation Army.

-Thus ridicule the Upper CLAHHHHS! Love it! But to what end?

-A gradual one. Who wants Revolution? All that blood!

-I sure don’t. Holding onto a job and getting the kids to school wears me out!

-But that IS their design. You must begin to transcend for all our sakes!

-Fuck everybody! Double dose to our Bentley duo.

-Let’s seize something tomorrow! Take it over!

-Tomorrow’s not a good day.

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Sunday, September 25, 2016


The Call (1 and 2 )

-Ashen? Shaken? You've gotten
The Phone Call!

-DID I? Every paranoid monster
shaken loose!

-You've gotten too close. He HAD to!

-I've...never gotten along with anyone
so well!

-Uh huh? Did you start thinking he
was queer? All that emotion!

-Not a bit of it!

-Well, that's his fear.

-Well, I'm, like, walking away and never,
ever looking back!

-Nonsense! He'll be all bear hugs now
and showing everybody how much he loves
you. In a manly, macho way.

-Now you're teasing.

-Friend for steadfast life, and I'm not kidding.

-Tearing and ripping to get there?

-Personality's a mystery. The more books
they write, the more mysterious!


-Look at YOU! Did you get the number
of that Mack truck?

-She phoned me at around 3AM.

-She seeks clarity at that hour.

-Even got around to Old World curses,
Gypsy, I think. Very imaginative, if grisly.

-Well, never mind! You graduated now.

Love-making from here on will shake your
very foundation!

-For how long?

-Usual is a year, but don't fret! She a marvelous
breaker-upper. It's like a seminar. She won't
go on until you thoroughly understand each step.

-Pandora’s Box, and then Super Love, and then...
quoting Professors or something?

-Life itself!

-Where can I opt out from ALL of it? With her,

with everybody?

-That's handled FOR you some future dark day.

-Can’t wait.

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Saturday, September 24, 2016



-What I thought and said then was
of that time. I'm different now.

-Well, however sliced today, your students
liked it then. A character!

-I just have ID to worry about presently.


-Impending Death.

-What's He like?


-Well don't piss Him off! I know you!

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Thursday, September 22, 2016


The Man Who Dreams Theories

wakes up content
because he knows.

Will he eventually give
his thought to mankind?

Never! What have they
done but perversion?

They would turn his work
into meretricious trash!

A committee visits him,
bringing Dunkin Donuts,
and he softens. He’ll make
available his intellect.

“One cannot, finally, insist on
The Ideal!” finally intoning
through a Boston Creme.

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Wednesday, September 21, 2016


When Mother Went to Prison

Was because the DA too down 
in his quota of women.

Anyway, the teens hugged
the little ones and we became

a family. Headed by Super Charmer
Dad, who skated close to the flames,
of course.

Mom paroled after two years,

and she and the older children meet
at our kitchen table with the lawyers

to save Dad. However, Sheriff Fearing
appears at the door with paperwork.

Dad extracted from his fleecing
cyber programs in the den.

Sheriff put an arm around him, leaving.
The effect Dad had on everyone.

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Tuesday, September 20, 2016



-She whines, screams, and sighs, Often in the same breath.

-Jesus! What a handful!

-Not so with a special oatmeal.

-That’s awful! You drug her?

-We eat from the same bowl.

-Wonderful! Two zombies! Can zombies do it?


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Monday, September 19, 2016


Executive Style, Female

-The women have grabbed the positions
and what do they show?

-Detail! Chicken-Shit Excruciating detail! Fly-Speck...!

-I get the point!

-Molto! Molto! Molto!  DETAIL!

-Ghinny talk doesn’t fit spreadsheets.

-Nor do I!

-Well, Anti-Fem, what, really, do the girls lack?


-Well, your Cindy back in your department
IS evincing the PMS version as we speak!
Better get back, no?

-Oh God, why hast thou forsaken me?

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Sunday, September 18, 2016


Bridge and Southey

-Millions upon Millions
of little actions every day.
Automatic! Every minute
really! The body regulates
itself! In its wisdom!

-Yeah? Well I take five pills.

-That's just it. Don't need any.
I'm losing mine one at a time.

-What for? A graceful exit. You're nuts!


-Maybe Nuts is natural too.

-Let’s hope!

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Saturday, September 17, 2016


Conversation, not ordinary

-Then you're a...ghost, then?



-Nothing like. I stayed because I
like it here.

-What's my role in connection to...?

-Not a thing. Oh would be nice if on
your walk you said “Look at that!
Isn't it pretty?”

-As to, like, sunset?

-Right! I've seen millions and they're
still pretty.

-Are...others around. Other Ghosts?

-Scores! But you see only me.


-One day you won't.

-Why is that?

-You'll die.

-Join your ranks?

-If wished. Only then.

-Some want nothing? Less?

-You’re making your mind up
about that every day.

-Too heavy for me. Let’s stick
with sunsets.

-Up to you.

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Friday, September 16, 2016


King’s English

-We were three Polacks who stunk.

Too much physical work and not 
enough showers. And in comes this Brit! 

Saville Fuckin Row!


-Oxford accent, rolled umbrella! Hired him
on the spot!

-In what capacity?


-What did he do?


-All for Class?

-Looked and sounded so nice! Civilized.

-Well, he must’ve had SOME talent!

-Like in the Bible, kept it under a basket?

--All that money paid to…!

-Just five years. Then we retired him
with as much pomp as General Macarthur!

-Good riddance!--to the Brit, not Douglas.

-I miss him!

-However could you…?”

-No talent and no work: where’s the threat?

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Thursday, September 15, 2016


Class Primer

-She’s got the College Educated Woman
sewed up!

-And he the trailer trash?

-Much much too simple. Non college White
Males and their compliant women.

-Pick your Class Language. It’s all gross.

-We must speak of it!

-Oh? Really? Describing it is promoting it.
Desiring it to go on the same way.

-I strive to be fair.

-That’s a fiction.

-I beg your pardon!

-For everybody. Don’t be hurt now.
It’s so severely Middle Class to
nurse tender feelings!

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Wednesday, September 14, 2016


The Man Who Made Strange Gronking Sounds

Finally evicted by his roommate, but not before

“Noises? WHAT the hell you...gronk ooo ock gronk…
talking about?”

Same social worker who had paired the two got him
a single room in another house,

There he signed up for the bus to the Basketball Game, but it got jammed in traffic in a rowhouse neighborhood, and a cop answered the call complaining of noise and profanity

Defended by woman!

“Is it against law? This man... wheel away willow...
minds his own business!”

In conclusion, I suppose such folks are awfully beneath…
let all fall, ball ball!

Actually the cop proved a good skate, and his wife
volunteers at the house now.

Singing with Gronk and the woman:

“Hi ho, Silverware.
Tonto lost his underwear.
He washed it in the Delaware.”

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Tuesday, September 13, 2016



-For your fiftieth birthday, I’m booking
the greatest magician ever!

-Will he disappear my angst?

-Better! He ends his act with a life-size
hologram of a horse! You ride it out!

-I can’t ride a hologram.

-You’re one too! He makes you one!

-I’ll take a real horse, thanks. Gallop away
from draining, and acutely real, Lenore!

-The lost Lenore?

-With any luck!

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Monday, September 12, 2016


Deeper Down the Demons.

So much so that Gedge afraid to sleep.

Tried hard not to.

But finally gave in.

And woke exhausted.

Day-by-day things helped.

Such as sister, Delsey, asking him to pick up
a seedless Rye.

The children having an impromptu party, and
chattering about crazy little sandwiches.

For some reason he told Rita at the bakery,
and Baker Henry overheard. Insisting then on
doing a special loaf twice as big.

Gedge waited for this as the  wintry day darkened
outside and occasional plops of snow slid down
the window.

Could he walk Rita home?

Random assaults lately. How odd a request,
though, really!

The monsters inside must be laughing at
such a weirdo actually aiding a normal person.

He did. And really never left. Speaking of odd.

And don't think sex right away.

A sort of magnetic cuddling event that white evening.

Helps him.

A year later, Bakers Henry, and Jensy, and half-retired
Mr Wada kick into overdrive for the wedding cake!

Rita and Gedge? The couple on the wedding cake?

Mr Wada spends two hours molding it to resemble them,
rejecting the stock generic one of confectionery history.

Okay okay, am I finally saying that this fool...steps from a
nuthouse...harrowed by horrors...

that, somehow, Love kicked the latters out or something?


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Sunday, September 11, 2016


Dissecting Behavior

Brill and Aggie chewed over Barb’s remark to Katzy that evening:

Why are you so shy? You’re not that good!

“Well, why IS he so shy?” shrugged Aggie.

“All kinds of shy. There’s the one where the closed one won’t talk because the rest of us are too stupid.”

“I lean that way.”

“Or, being genuinely afraid and timid.”

“Not with a few drinks in him! No woman safe
from hands or wit of ole Katzy!”

“Or, being deeply depressed. Period.”

“Uh huh? Well, which for him? o Great Definer!”
What makes for shy in his case?

“All. None. We’re...great mysteries, Aggie.”

“Bullshit! Not a tenth of an ounce of MYSTERY
in the whole gang!”

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Saturday, September 10, 2016


The Question

-Somebody wrote somewhere you become
what you hate.

-Meaning I did?

-If the shoe fits...

-Hey! Way back when, I was all exaggeration
and hyperbole and totally full of myself.
Grew up is all!

-Oh yeah? What are you full of now?

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Friday, September 09, 2016


Divvy, American Style

When Bowel-Seize wracked the community, people doubled over in stores, shop, offices.

Some screaming fatalities. In roped-off sections.

Remedy most went for: "Black Juice."

Actually, water and old newsprint.

Hanley Z  Halburt, publisher of innumerable suburban shoppers tried for fraud.

A plea agreement brought settlements. Up to 
two million for Marks of Income, McDonald’s coupons the rest.

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Thursday, September 08, 2016


On the Academy Ramparts

We meet after a year.

-Gotten nowhere. Time to protest anew?

-Is this a cabal?

-As in Cabal TV?

Professor Deitz stopped things, then, by
forgetting which side he had been on

But Associate Professor Mimsy Borogroves
opined “What’s the difference, Doctor Genius?
So long as we choose the righteous one now!”

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Wednesday, September 07, 2016


Acting the Parts

-Let us speak of Management Models!

-Okay, the supposed or the real?

-1 first.

-Agile. Aggressive. Creative. Even Brilliant!

-And the real? Or 2?

-Sucking ass continuously.

-While acting 1?

-Academy Award!

-That explains the haunting sound I’ve encountered in the Corridors of Greatness.

-Will never leave your ears.

-Midst the Cube Farms of...!

-That’s enough.

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Tuesday, September 06, 2016


Medical Opinions

Ricky and Noggs left the former’s
Stag Party since both on call as
Ambulance Techs.

Driver Jellybean picked them up.

And then, the three fetched Mr Ackeny of
that neighborhood.

Later, the partiers, only a bit flushed from their
one-drink limit, when Ackeny peeked out from a
thicket of tubes to wheeze  “It’s probably nothing!”

Noggs agreed super warmly, with a scattered
anecdote of a Joe Early of Morningside picked
up last week clammy-gray and trembling, but
discharged almost immediately at Receiving.

“And he looked like Death warmed over!”

“But,” Rick whispered, “it’s probably... everything.”

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Monday, September 05, 2016


During the War

I fought on the Home Front,
chiefly by theft, bribery and
Black Market.

Patriotism was unpatriotic,
really. But never in words.

Having won, I realize the
Conquering Truth of our Bravery
in doing without occasionally.

Sacrifice, in short. For Nation!

Pride indescribable steels me now.

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Sunday, September 04, 2016


The Players

-He wants me to play Cleopatra!

-I heard she was black.

-Could be. I don’t know what I am.

-Will he be Caesar or Mark Antony?

-The former is fatter.

-But HE never says “I am dying, Egypt, dying!”

-But he could.

-Role-playing of you two over the years had its boredom and laughs, but I got used to your Jacqueline to his JFK.

-I got tired of her, uh...twenty pounds ago.


-Oh well!..."Is this an asp I see before me?"

-A piece of one, Milady!

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Saturday, September 03, 2016


Upon a Midnight Clear

Shortest Fable

Every Christmas, enough
being enough, Micks and
Sally gave some individual
gifts away.

Until the one when they
gave each other away.

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Friday, September 02, 2016


International Class

-We have World’s Preeminent
Crop Duster in our cube farm.

-Large man, gaseous?

-Small woman, deadly.

-Does she pretend important missions?

-Nothing but! Moving briskly to save the company!

-And in her wake?

-The usual rotten eggs aroma, infused with aged garlic.


-Plus a something dead. Small animal.


-And not recently.

-Is this...ethnic woman? The garlic?

-American as vicious gossip!

-God help her husband!


-Other two?

-Gagged to death!

-Can you take any preventative…?

-Surplus gas mask. Gulf War,
bottom drawer.

-But you can’t’ll hurt her!

-We’re talking life or death here!

-Besides, she must walk...innocently also?

-Not the slight curl of lip then.

-Why are their warnings so subtle?

-Know that, know everything!

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Thursday, September 01, 2016



A Short Story--pointless as most

She taught French in the high school.
Even bought the cheeses and wine and
a Citroen. But the locals couldn't fix
the car, so she traded it in for a Ford.

And the same day, also traded her on-again
off-again for Kiffy Ners of Ners' Hardware.
In to buy a delivery truck.

And didn’t those two rush into a quick personal
deal? Temporary Insanity! Or Love.

Two daughters later, and she actually drags him
to France! Old Foursquare and Nothing Fancy.

But he takes to it! Loves it! Especially partial
to cognac, a necessity since the girls are
a cramp in the balls.

Both married now, but that hasn't changed.

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