Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Song of the Existential South
Ignorance of Sorts
-Mac, is you iggerunt?
-Only half the time.
-Anyway, worst congressman ever from this state,
TV says. Even beats me out--and I just started
wearing shoes. And your degree from that-thar
-They’d deny it. And yours from Yale?
-Lux and fuckin Veritas!
-We’re pretty smart when we’re smart.
-Ain’t that what they’re paying for?
-No, they’re paying for opposite.
-But we DO really believe whatall the Big Bucks Boys
is sayin’. Freedom and all that good shit!
-Uh huh. When we bother believing anything at all.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
The Icemaker Cometh
Bumps In Dead Hours
The icemaker in my small studio
sounds like someone fumbling
hard articles. In posher domiciles,
into wee hours: “Somebody’s
in the house!” TV cliche,
then, is wifey prodding
the resident asshole to rise,
explore, return with a report.
Or not. I’ll take the macho
girl anytime. Won’t
bother waking one,
but maraud forth with
baseball bat, actually
desirous of mayhem.
These ladies also tied
the knot emphatically.
And not a granny.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Freedoms, Cherished n’all
-She really stomped her pretty foot. Again and again!
-What's he like?
-Sorta flabby and sick-like white.
-I have a hunch who his father is.
-Anyway, they wanted our house, and I told them
not for sale. And that was that!
-What happened the next day?
-How do you even know there was a...?
-I know how they operate.
-Well a very nice fella came and said if we
got an appraisal, they'd pay that and all
-And he gave you a week?
-How'd you know that?
-I'll get hold of Blenky Wells. He's in real estate and
can get a good appraiser.
-Whoa whoa! I didn't say we'd...
-I just don't want my mother bloodied up, because
that's the next guy they send. No worry about your head,
though, being concrete.
-Why they can't get away with it, Little Ricky! Man's home,castle, search and seizure, boarding troops, and all that good shit! Constitution!
-Yeah, good shit all right. Like you heard listening
to moronic talk radio. Then you voted for these Fascists.
Well, here's your reward.
-I'm not selling!
-You are! No choice at present. But, a little birdie told me this situation can't last.
-I've got a gun!
-They've got bombs! I likewise don't wish to see my mother blown hither and yon.
The sale went through with smiles all around. The young couple, however, being murdered the following year. Mistaken house identity--for a hideout of party leaders.
Now COLONEL Blenky Wells, he of Real Estate and Revolution, asks about Ricky’s parents.
-We moved them to Serenity Spires, kicking and screaming.
-Would they want to return to the old house?
-Nah! He runs Penny Poker Night and she's on Welcoming Committee. Uh! Sigh of relief there,
-Hell of a cleanup ahead there. Looks like they ran from room to room spraying blood.
-Panicked surprise that a revolution isn't a
-I must remember that.
-As Churchill said, we will fight them in the suburbs!
-You mean I'm in the ruling cohort to keep the suburbs clear of the venomous Right?
-Now now! Language isn’t war! You mother raised you
to be more polite.
-Her rules are in temporary abeyance.
-Along with the Constitution?
-Well, they wiped their ass with that. Hafta start over.
-Including firing squads.
-No way! You’ve seen too many films. Exile serves us well. Amazon jungles, lecturing the monkeys.
-Who knows? They’ll need recruits.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Nautical but small
Jenny chose the fancy pub-hotel online but didn't estimate the travel time well. She was pretty beat when she pulled in with her rental Jaguar.
Roger at the desk intuited her state, and got the room card to her quickly. "But there’s one thing. Your room’s a bit too cozy, but I can give you the adjoining too--for additional twenty?
She accepted, Quite a bargain from the other Roger--a label she whimsically applied since it was her boyfriend's name.
Speaking of... "I hope it’s all right I signed for this.” Roger produced a small brown envelope with a distinct bulge.
Jenny assured him it was. Headed for her suite as the other Roger sent the code for her card to the extra room, and unlocked the door between.
"Waste of a woman!" she overheard drifting from the bar,
but didn't know if it was referring to her or not.
Her initial room was nautical, but small. The additional one was plush, English whore-housey with Belgium soaps.
She showered in the new place, smelling quite
That slutty half was for lounging in tshirt and shorty
pajama pants. The tshirt was her design she never liked,
so wore it inside out.
But, business. Amid replicate ship’s clock and assorted salty bric-a-brac, she opened the envelope to a box that might have held a bracelet, but contained a flash drive nestled in cotton.
Her Roger had been too exuberantly weird for too long,
so she had employed Mr Dartmerth with his lovely cameras.
The laptop got into the slide show quite expeditiously.
Roger and "Conchita-Rosita" striding hand in hand midst the apes of the Royal Zoo. The name she chose came from a song her father sang.
Another ended “Senoritas with dark and flashing eyes."
Her own filled with tears, which, she reassured herself,
is to be expected.
She went through the remaining ones in shock.
But the last two propelled her into more terminal
despair. Another Jenny. At tennis with him.
Then at an outdoor cafe, her hair seizing the light.
Light itself! Lovely! Another Jenny, a younger...
Had she ordered the scotch? She mused even
in her pain as to how prettily the ice cubes
would turn in the liquor...seeming to turn the liquor...
She hadn't, and now wouldn't. Her Dad would never
say anything like waste of a woman. A cutting thing
like that! He often pronounced “You and your mother,
my two pale English beauties!”
She went to bed under the ship prints, too exhausted
to fear dreaming.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
How the French Do It
The wife of the Pharmacist left with the son
of the woman who owns the small hotel.
His Renault running badly, he put his attention
mostly to it.
She came back by train.
Her discussion with the pharmacist never leaked.
He spoke to no one outside work anyway. And to her,
infrequently, at the shop.
She spat “that foolishness!” though quite rarely,
The young man resumed helping his mother at the hotel
and tinkered with the Renault.
The village called him “The Old Man” when his hair
turned white shortly after.
Marcel’s brother remarked “He was unprepared
for such an adventure.”
(Said brother has his own name, but continued use of this label makes us forget it.)
Friday, July 26, 2013
How To Wait
The Women, One Man
-How long have you been waiting?
-She's dementia-d since she got here.
I arrived right after. Coming up to a year.
-That's intolerable! I'm from Inspector
-So was the last guy, last year.
-Why is it all women here?
-The men don't hafta wait. New rule.
-Well, we'll see about that!
-We're always seeing about things.
-You're emphatically correct!
-And nothing gets done.
-All we can do is submit our reports.
-They're worse than nothing.
-Mrs. I got married here. It was August and
the A/C quit.
-Can your husband help? Email the officials
-Being male he got some heft, but they
took him after the wedding for the war.
-What's the difference?
-Is there anything you personally want me
to put in my report?
-Let people get married here without
snatching away the groom!
-I was going to do that.
-And make for faster funerals. One or two
dies a day. And they take up a place in line.
-I'll make a note.
-And stink! Well the A/C's permanently gone
-Not worth fixing the old style.
-I'd give up my citizenship now if that humungous
TV up there didn't tell me how wonderful it was.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Palm Beach Story
-There’s a boutiquey hotel in Palm Beach–I won’t mention the name–where you walk by and look
into the bar and it’s all red leather and mahogany.
-And it talks. It says MONEY.
-Indeed. Any new slut in town’d be wise to...
-You mean both male and female of course?
-I do. Add persons of business while we’re so parsing.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
The Violent Bear It Awry
the haters get
in flaming, then,
well, lose the thread.
They're riled too
with the time
moderator gives. It
eats them in addition
to nearly everything else.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Lady Astor's Begonias
-She peed on Lady Astor’s begonias.
-That took special effort. Why not just the grass alongside?
-A message pee!
-Besides, it’s not Lady Astor, is it?
-We’ve always called her that as a joke. But she’s mega rich too.
-How about Pee-girl’s partner in crime?
-He punched the officer responding.
-Nice people in this town.
-Can’t get work! Lady Astor’s club has clamped down on hiring.
-Do they have reasons?
-Yeah. Chief of which they don’t give a shit!
Monday, July 22, 2013
The Great Chain of Beans
-Minnie has been dismissed. I don’t like this idea
of her and the children still texting.
-The children accept your authority and think
-They’ll learn that Place is golden. Minnie forgot hers.
And is STILL for-
-God you’re a Neanderthal! Should I grow my hair long so you can drag me?
-God is in his place and all others below in order. That makes for Peace, the opposite to Neanderthal chaos.
-And we’re in a pretty cushy slot, due to your Old Man’s money.
-It’s only natural that I preserve a system favoring us, but it’s God-ordained.
-Was God always on the side of the Rich?
-To favor everyone, yes.
Sunday, July 21, 2013
She's a one for talking after. Revealing more
than he wants to hear.
So he asks "Do you know how long it takes to
scoop up a dude in the North End when he's been
totaled in a drive-by?"
This proves good defuser.
At any rate, not any problem he can't handle. None.
Including, soon, Linda, from Shipping.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Doing the International Flop
Where Sport Transcends
Hey Beano! Let’s attend
the Great Flop-o-reeno!
We call it Soccer, they,
Football. And O, insane,
the grimacing, the pain!
You’d think: next to
These vile, trashy frauds!
Not Sport, but “Tragic” Art?
Like Mais freakin oui!
Friday, July 19, 2013
Spreading the Goodies
-Well, he’s the most ignorant man I know. Buffoon to boot!
-That may well be, but we owe him.
-Liquor Control Board or some place he can do no harm?
-Those are plum jobs, and therefore spoken for.
-Well, tell him thanks for his service to the Party and...
-President of one of the smaller state colleges?
-The man’s articulate as a toad!
-Get him a decent suit, he’s distinguished.
-The faculty union wouldn’t stand for it.
-Not at first, but they like talking. We’ll have long talks
where they’ll see the light.
-Make them a deal they can’t refuse?
-Precisely, though I don’t care for the imagery.
-You get A.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Wags Sans Answers
Figuring It Out, Not
-Whyz there a lot of injustice in Justice?
-Cuz we created it.
-Are we that flawed?
-No wonder people pray.
-Something to do.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
We're called a group, but we're six to eight individuals.
We might meet daily or not.
Each time we do, one person speaks. That's it. No responses, no questions. This odd rule evolved.
We found discussion got us nowhere.
The rest of the time we're in little offices or walking about the estate.
I don't know where any office is except my own. I never see anyone when I walk.
Loneliness seems a necessity. But, I wouldn't call it loneliness since we're all so busy.
Do we solve problems?
I guess that's what we do, but they’re not given us.
We find them.
Well, Life of the Mind. Pretty flat affect. I'd like to give you evidence of messy personal lives, but don't know enough. Anyway I doubt it.
I wouldn't bother writing about us. It's useless. Even fiction has to start with something.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
-What’s the real difference between
The Senate and The House?
-Though both Performance Art,
Senate cool, House hot.
Monday, July 15, 2013
When I get my gun
Make up some shit to
off a few deserve it.
Hey! So that’s their fate.
America is the best country
and Florida the best state.
Texas, though, is God!
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Shock of Art
Facets of Aesthetics
-After the divorce, I met Rosette. Did you ever...?
-You don't remember drinking away a few weekends?
Her and you, and my Chloe and me?
-I don't remember much of anything from that time.
That's the point. So, Rosette and I decided to change.
Instead of booze we studied painting in a night
course at the Academy. Both proved mediocre, but
we loved it even better than the giggle juice.
-Chloe and I are breaking away from it too.
Maybe we'll take a course.
-She's so beautiful it's a wonder some slickster hasn’t
stolen her away!
-I stay ever-vigilant. Besides, Rosette is no slouch. She...
- ...resembles a small gaudy dumpster. Let's not sugarcoat.
-I'd say Wooly Mammoth.
-You come damn close.
-Okay so we're not Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie!
But we found each other--as some fuckin song
must go. But anyway, I called you about
Lindy, from Sales.
-Organized. No nonsense.
-Not really given to hallucinations?
-That's my problem.
-Well Rosette likes the light in my office, you know?
-She also likes to paint in the nude, and have me pose
the same way.
-This will intersect with totally not-artsy Lindy?
-Everybody supposed to be gone for holiday weekend?
And she hops back Saturday afternoon for sales folders.
-And into massive nudity?
-Faints dead away. We get dressed, like, immediately.
And when she comes to, I give her herbal shit my ex
had me buy the day she left...then phoned me here and
told me to stick it up my ass.
-Anyway, back to the victim?
-Rosette tells her of terrible virus going around!
-Let me guess. So awful it even imparts hallucinations?
-She looked so battered, I think she bought it.
-But what's the difference? It's your company!
You do what you please.
-Once upon a time. But we're part of a halfass
conglomerate now. And up for accreditation.
I mean they got heavenly standards. You'd never
think it was business. Besides, some of our
oldest stockholders run Church investment plans!
-So, if a certain eyewitness blabs as to behavior that other members of the conglom-a-nonsense, plus
traditional bluenoses, think is not exactly moral...?
-Hey! I could go it alone again, but lose a lot
of benefits for myself and the whole crew.
-You want me to talk to her! You devious, hairy bastard!
-Should I stay with the vision story?
-Use your own judgement.
-Well, if she's gone off half-wacky, I will.
-Hell, we really didn't do anything wrong!
-Was the shock! Besides from an aesthetic viewpoint
you both surely did. Do.
-Like, YOU'RE handsome?
-So I've been told...once even by...Lindy.
-I knew it was right to bring you in!
-This will cost you.
-She was so stressed out! The mind can do anything
to you. A few French dinners will soothe, methinks.
And then an equal number to assuage my Chloe.
-My middle name.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
-And the yearly messages from Marcel, the Farmer!
So simple and yet so exquisite. Genevieve the
cow, and Josie the cat, plus the insane chickens!
-Ah yes, Josie as a rangy beauty with tiger stripes.
Then the gentle speculation as to the barnyard Romeo-
layabout who fathered calico kittens.
-The one picture I've seen of Marcel. In misty hayloft, spare but blocky man writing his message with stub pencil on the back of a feed store bill. So so so charming.
-Who dares dispute?
-His last one, o the deepest! Stressing the Earth, the Earth, the Earth!
-Uh huh? Your triplets reflect the usual ones in his various messages. Literary attempts by a simple, good man? I think not.
-Please don't be a Frenchman, and debase and debunk
-I won't be, but yet you must pull up your Big Boy Pants, for any French person must hear one adult thought a day. And here is yours! There is no Farmer Marcel, nor Genevieve, nor Josie the cat. The first draft of each admired tome came from New York, thence to London for the literary flourishes. Last, translated to French.
-Good God! Just...give me a moment to say goodbye to my Marcel!
-Take your time. Include cow and cat.
-And my Gallic pride forever stung by this not being a purely French product! Even if a phony one. Why English at all?
-Because English is the language for utter shit.
-Horseshit or Bullshit?
Friday, July 12, 2013
Use Code scrltr
-We're compelled by law to give it
to your family, and Charlotte to wear it.
-How about the fellow? And he one of yours!
Why shouldn't he wear it too?
-Let's be realistic. Besides, “Women Only” is the statute.
-"Made in Indonesia."
-We get a terrific rate. Some pretty handwork on
there in addition--if you’d bother to notice.
-And twenty-percent off coupon for the book
from Amazon. It's an awfully old book.
Nathaniel Hawthorne, hey? That's an old-
sounding name for sure.
-Great literature is timeless!
-We don’t like it forced on us. Some things oughta die.
-Not this one, if you wish to keep a civilization.
-“Use Code scrltr.”
-Be a fool not to.
-Well, okay then, but Charlotte won’t like any of it!
-Charlotte should have thought beforehand.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Republicans Doubling Down on White--Q & A
Q But won't this force them to channel
their Inner Skinhead?
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
God shedding his proportioned grace
Plans wrapped up
-Wow! That's what it looks like in shrink-wrapped
blocks like that. How much is...?
-Don’t ask questions like that! Enough.
-I'm sharpening my ears though. To see if money
-Not now. It's thinking.
-What it can do for good or ill? A philosophy?
-Nothing so esoteric. Rather about making laws.
Tuesday, July 09, 2013
Power-Pointers Discuss the Work in Work
-Our top international guy retiring.
-His accent too?
-Could work a cocktail party anywhere in the world!
-That's the keyword. Work. How much did he
-Difficult to measure. But I'll try. I'd guess--most unscientifically--that he...let's see...he put in fifteen years?
-On the nose.
-Then he actually worked one of them in total.
-Six percent or so? That's so lame! Not even batting 100! Rest of us bat
-Not really. We're just not as masterful frauds as he.
-Alas it’s too late!
-Ever wonder why we attack government all the time? Keeping a frenzy going, so fewer will see our lazy chicanery.
-I got five years if not fired first. Gotta keep my own frenzy going!
Monday, July 08, 2013
White Power w/Saki Chaser
Republican legislators embrace
their White Power demon
to whelp the New South
back to the Old South. With
the help of Japanese
Sunday, July 07, 2013
Bump in the Night
-Something fell during the night.
-Well, old house, shifting and groaning.
-But no evidence when I wake up.
-You made that up.
-But it sounds right.
-I should do something, I suppose. But not worthy
of TV. I couldn't stand all the fuss.
-Put something on the very edge of a shelf,
precarious. If it falls and then gets put
back, it'll be in a safer position.
-Gods teaching me a safety lesson.
-Something like that.
-I think I'll avoid it all and move.
-The new suburb with the new house and its
-Yeah. Who wants to bother anymore?
-But what if something falls there?
-They've chased me?
-Then the scaredy new neighbors’ll want you to move once again.
-Stop the scenario! I wanna get off! Ghosts not
gonna make me a man without a country.
-Just a simple expiation might do it for now.
Ponder your sins and confess to...
-Go for a blanket one.
-I think I'll just stay in the old dump and stop listening.
Especially to you!
Saturday, July 06, 2013
The Perfect Republican
-You just repeat mindlessly what you’ve heard
from Rush and Hannity.
-You don’t mind being used?
-Hell no! Helps me get off. My sex, Son!
-Gross decent people out!
-My prayers answered!
Friday, July 05, 2013
Nod to Zombie Craze
If you get anywhere in
anything, this person
will push a bet, seeking
outsized influence. So, enough,
you'll be possessed as zombie
for grimmer enterprise.
Best to act then. Murder, if
not off the table. Otherwise,
Siberia in effect.
Thursday, July 04, 2013
Next Monthly Meeting of FREEDOM NOW AND FOREVER will feature former state representative, Claude Collerette
speaking on How we stopped the “women,” fancy boys,climate-change nazis, and, not least, tippy-toe
dancing in our capital city.
speaking on How we stopped the “women,” fancy boys,climate-change nazis, and, not least, tippy-toe
dancing in our capital city.
Wednesday, July 03, 2013
Truth whispered due to raw context
1/ Oh my God the august actual head of the totally large Enchilada! And poking up over our humble cubicle!
-That new creamer tastes like crap!
2/ Not a fan?
-Throw it out and go buy the old kind again.
-And who's working on my speech? Raise hands! Okay,
the usual trio of idiots. Well, put in more Freedom!
2/ Especially pertaining to eternal vigilance?
-Bingo fuckin bingo! They eat that shit up!
3/ Perfect scam.
-I heard that, Whisperer. Why does he always whisper?
Anyway, o brilliant tightass, nothing is perfect in politics.
Tuesday, July 02, 2013
Continually learning to dance
The Foxidiot Polka
-Didn‘t know I was against it till I watched Fox.
-You could say the same for your opposites
having NBC paint their faces.
-Sorry to rain on your contentious parade, but they
simply don’t exist.
Monday, July 01, 2013
Soot as Desire
-Never buy white car again!
-Not so bad if I park it behind some barrier.
-Don’t worry about the future. All these mandates proposed! We’ve convinced ‘em we’ll do it better than any of their government boondoggles.
-What’s Step One?
-Same as the following ones. Do fuckin nothin!