Saturday, December 03, 2005

 
THE NEOCONSERVATIVE CONSORTIUM
(supported by those who matter)

Dear Mr Aldan Locknutter:

The sacrifice of your son, Roy Aldan Locknutter on the Altar of Freedom will never be forgotten by this organization.

That is our sacred vow to you.

Aldan, it is a violent and dangerous world, I'm sure you'll agree.

[plug in 9-11 module of impressionistic Bush quotes in italics, spiral pattern, + thumbnails, also spiral, of Bush in yellow construction hat]

But also a world we are reforming!--as our higher duty commands us. We cannot sit in Washington, DC, or Trainwreck, West Virginia and do nothing against Islamofascists.

[plug in Wilsonian claptrap]

Roy Aldan's life was short but beautiful, Mr Locknutter.

[Plug in lines from TO AN ATHLETE DYING YOUNG which a hillbilly might understand]

To turn to happier news, young persons on our staff have monitored the Valley Citizen's stories concerning exploits of your Renton on the gridiron and Steffie on the volleyball court.

This grateful letter is a first step in pointing out that both are eligible to become special "Roy Aldan Locknutter Soldiers." With a substantial signing bonus for each, and for you as parent.

The youngsters can download an application at school from our website.

Rest assured we are committed, as I'm sure the Locknutters are, to memorizing your heroic son!

Sincerly etc etc etc

ps Please excuse us for not including Mrs Locknutter at this time, but our research tells us that, despite the urgency, Moms require a greater cushion of time. God willing, she'll eventually favor your decision.

[plug in Lincoln thumbnail + italics “...shall not perish from the face of the earth!”]

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