Saturday, May 06, 2006
Our Tailor
PACKY/ It's Sal the Ghinny!
MICKEY-O/ That's his cover in South Philadelphia, only place it fools nobody. So, Sal, you make-a suit for bigga shot?
SAL/ Several. But I have to get back to my mother. Celebre's Egg and Pepper Sandwich...hundred other places but this the only one
for Mama! So fight the ballpark traffic like a good boy.
MICKEY-O/ How much you make off that African dude? Was in Newsweek.
SAL/ He's a nice-a fella.
MICKEY-O/ Don't revert, Fraud! Not the way you talked getting that political science degree at Penn.
PACKY/ What's a tailor need...?
SAL/ My Dark Continent accounts. You don't want to bring up strangled predecessors to the strangler. Decorum.
MICKEY-O/ I’ll tell you one thing, Salvatore, Packy’s sitting on you unless you answer the number one-a question!
SAL/ And what, pray tell, would that be?
MICKEY-O/ My father saw you on CNN coming out of the White House, tape measure trailing off your bony ass!
SAL/ I'm not at liberty to say anything.
MICKEY-O/ You won't get at liberty unless you do!
PACKY/ I WILL sit on you, greaseball faker! Dino Martini wannabe!
MICKEY-O/ Don’t worry. His weight varies. Little below, little above. Four hundred. At three he was Mario Lanza wannabe!
SAL/ I truly understand. Everything you gentlemen so work to impart.
MICKEY-O/ Okay, then let’s have it. Truth for once, International Needle-and-Con Man!
SAL/ Well...you know, prison clothing so dowdy. So I worked up designs. One’s drawstring pants with nice shirt-jacket.
Breast pocket embroidery coming in from Indonesia. Anyway, soft fabrics with random silk threads and world-class tailoring.
What's not to like?
PACKY/ I'd give 'em nothing. Evil bastards!
MICKEY-O/ Now that's the other side, Pack! The terrorists...no style sense whatsoever there.
SAL/ Hey! Listen for once! They're nice guys at White House. Not stereotypes. And full of fun! Even you two
Neanderthals’d be surprised.
MICKEY-O/ Leavenworth'll be a barrel of laughs.
PACKY/ Evil bast...!
MICKEY-O/ That's enough, Packy. We got the point. Your father carried walking-around money for the Democrats until he collapsed
under the weight.
SAL/ Well, as politically educational as all this has been, Mama awaits. And she's the famous Mouth of Ritner Street,
so give me a break!
PACKY/ That’s during the week. Italian Market on weekends and you can’t hear down there!
MICKEY-O/ Doesn't it bother you, Sal, that most of the Executive Department of this country is probably going to prison?
SAL/ Not if they're wearing my clothes.
PACKY/ It's Sal the Ghinny!
MICKEY-O/ That's his cover in South Philadelphia, only place it fools nobody. So, Sal, you make-a suit for bigga shot?
SAL/ Several. But I have to get back to my mother. Celebre's Egg and Pepper Sandwich...hundred other places but this the only one
for Mama! So fight the ballpark traffic like a good boy.
MICKEY-O/ How much you make off that African dude? Was in Newsweek.
SAL/ He's a nice-a fella.
MICKEY-O/ Don't revert, Fraud! Not the way you talked getting that political science degree at Penn.
PACKY/ What's a tailor need...?
SAL/ My Dark Continent accounts. You don't want to bring up strangled predecessors to the strangler. Decorum.
MICKEY-O/ I’ll tell you one thing, Salvatore, Packy’s sitting on you unless you answer the number one-a question!
SAL/ And what, pray tell, would that be?
MICKEY-O/ My father saw you on CNN coming out of the White House, tape measure trailing off your bony ass!
SAL/ I'm not at liberty to say anything.
MICKEY-O/ You won't get at liberty unless you do!
PACKY/ I WILL sit on you, greaseball faker! Dino Martini wannabe!
MICKEY-O/ Don’t worry. His weight varies. Little below, little above. Four hundred. At three he was Mario Lanza wannabe!
SAL/ I truly understand. Everything you gentlemen so work to impart.
MICKEY-O/ Okay, then let’s have it. Truth for once, International Needle-and-Con Man!
SAL/ Well...you know, prison clothing so dowdy. So I worked up designs. One’s drawstring pants with nice shirt-jacket.
Breast pocket embroidery coming in from Indonesia. Anyway, soft fabrics with random silk threads and world-class tailoring.
What's not to like?
PACKY/ I'd give 'em nothing. Evil bastards!
MICKEY-O/ Now that's the other side, Pack! The terrorists...no style sense whatsoever there.
SAL/ Hey! Listen for once! They're nice guys at White House. Not stereotypes. And full of fun! Even you two
Neanderthals’d be surprised.
MICKEY-O/ Leavenworth'll be a barrel of laughs.
PACKY/ Evil bast...!
MICKEY-O/ That's enough, Packy. We got the point. Your father carried walking-around money for the Democrats until he collapsed
under the weight.
SAL/ Well, as politically educational as all this has been, Mama awaits. And she's the famous Mouth of Ritner Street,
so give me a break!
PACKY/ That’s during the week. Italian Market on weekends and you can’t hear down there!
MICKEY-O/ Doesn't it bother you, Sal, that most of the Executive Department of this country is probably going to prison?
SAL/ Not if they're wearing my clothes.
