All Over the Place

Ohio

As we came down the ramp from the Pennsylvania Turnpike,an Ohio State Policeman ran towards us waving his arms.
“Go back!” No motels,or restaurants,or tall gasoline signs behind him. Just rubble.

Our mouths froze “Whaaaa?”

Though flustered,he was kind enough to answer. “They stole it literally this time!”

  FOPs* To Meet at White House

            Sep 30,8PM

       Agenda: TRAITORS

     
  *Federation of Obnoxious Pricks
  aka Fill Our Pockets

  FOPs* To Meet at White House

            Sep 30,8PM

       Agenda: TRAITORS

     
  *Federation of Obnoxious Pricks
  aka Fill Our Pockets

The Other Dakota

Thought we put a burr
up staunch old Thompson’s
ass: What y’think about
two faggots taking a room
over the drugstore?

“Used t’worry ‘bout things
like that,but now I see babies
blowin’ apart from our bombs.”

The Other Dakota

Thought we put a burr
up staunch old Thompson’s
ass: What y’think about
two faggots taking a room
over the drugstore?

“Used t’worry ‘bout things
like that,but now I see babies
blowin’ apart from our bombs.”

      White With Foam

In America we speak without shame
of torturing others in God’s image,
     and,to some,his name.

     Rabbi,Peter said,the tree
     you cursed has withered.

Joe Hill

-Will no one rid me of these mettlesome Joe Hills!

-Lit AND history,Boss! You de man! Allusion King!

-Yeah it broke my cheapskate father’s ass to send me to Harvard. Too bad he’s no longer around to see a payoff.

-Rookie wants to find out who Joe Hill was.

-Played at the club once. Five holes on the left before he collapsed.

-Well just put today’s bland versions of him out of mind! Whatever could they
do to us? We’ve bought the executive,legislative,and judicial...to understate.

-Yeah I remember that trio from prep school civics. What a dreamworld that was!
Talk about Pie in the Sky!

-Well,Peace is wonderful–even if expensive for you,Boss.

-But you know,that really WAS some war way back then! And Joe and his buddies?
Formidable warriors before we got Utah to officially off him. “Murdered by the
Capitalistic Class,” somebody wrote later--didn’t know his Emily Post.
You don’t say such things even if true. Today we deal with a super polite America,
where John Q is scared shitless by Government and Church.

-Amen!...Amen Amen I say to you that...

-Anyway! It’s all ancient history,this war between Capital and Labor.
Agreed? Good! Now would anyone care to guess who won?

We tell you it’s the most profound job in a dangerous world

But we’re bs-ing.
Previous guy found time
for blowjobs.

Others planned burglaries,or
Frenchified interior decorating.

Presently we’re about POWER.

Every scintilla we can extract

from the lay-down Congress,and
the inaptly named Opposition.

          And YOU

          can’t DO

          a fuckin thing

          about it!

Joe Hill and Ronald Reagan

Heroes to the Left and Right.
As do all of us,both had flaws.

Ron foresaw this Shining City
On the Hill,and Joe eviscerated

all such Capital tropes
as “pie in the sky.” Both

shot,one by a scattered nut,
and one by Utah,whose marksmen

had a sense of poetry,
leaving five nice holes
in Joe’s left side.

Celebrating Global Capitalism

My 3 begging phone calls daily
from Calcutta,where a person
whines I cannot understand.

Brain‘s a marvel!

How do you know,
examining it
with it?

Young in The Green Zone

-What’re we suppose to do again?

-I don’t know. Something to do with lots of money.

-Shall we steal it?

-Nah,no challenge there.

-Keep those vodka-tonics coming,Hasan!

-I’d like to fuck him if I weren’t a young Republican.

-You get this alleged job ‘cuz of your father?

-Yeah,he’s a neocon with a flaming brick up his ass.
Our family’s big in defense stocks too. Peace’d mean
fewer cars and lower-tier golf club.

-My father a loyalist too. Pervert and renowned preacher.
Hasn’t screwed the mother in years. Depends on
jerking off to Penthouse pictures. Gets sermon
thoughts that way-–pubic hair tickling the route to glory.

-Never mind all the greasy human frailty. He loves God and
The President! Besides...I’m not disgust-proof! Yuk!

-Well the Party is. Anyway,we’re ‘spose to read all these reports! Christ!

-Throw ‘em in the fuckin pool.

-Sure. That’ll solve...

-No,I’m not kidding. Here!

-Christ! Down like rocks. And our Hasan laughing.

-I intend to,quite soon,boost the white man’s burden up his
hairy...! Well,it’s a duty,actually. I mustn’t be irreverent.
I apologize. Adored British ritual: Bugger the wog as he
sinks to the prayer rug.

-I prefer All American Wall Jobs. What’s Iraqi-speak for Take down your pants?

-Everything’s a Wall Job. Look at this place! It’s one humungous Wall Job.
The War’s another.

-That’s disloyal!–if I gave a shit. Ah but I do love summer camp!
Even so,why don’t we sneak out from THESE walls and find
some women?

-Uh uh. This is a fuck-the-boys country. It was chosen for that.

-Is this...reality? I only just got my degree.

-There is no reality.

Rocco and the Republican

-We’ve been discouraged,but now are throwing everything
into this election!

-Why? Something left to steal?

-You’re a Democrat,Rocco!

-Yeah,and we’re had our thieves too. But you guys are
World-Class!

-Why,thank you.

-Democrats steal the tickets and Republicans steal the train.

-All A-boarrrrrrrd!

Rocco’s Friend Leroy

“See on TV ragtops
burnin’ Pope in effigy.

Squirtin’ gasoline
from plastic bottles,

everything flarin’ way up!
Fuckin’ dumb as rednecks.”

Letter From a Pilot

Dear Capt xxxxxxxxxxxxxx,

Good to hear from you even with your sad message.

I do recall you from Lackland Air Force Base,and cherish my time there with you and the other foreign military.

Whether I took part in the mission causing the death of your daughter–that’s classified.

I will say I take responsibility. That’s the warrior’s burden and he must proclaim it loudly.

As to your “How many more babies,etc?”–I’ll be blunt,as you would expect.

Until you do as you’re told. But I’m a simple patriot,not a diplomat.


May God bless you,xxxxxxxx,Major,USAF

Woolgatherers

Friends love you as
they must,and show

patience at the eventual
discovery of the point
in your own words. But

when phoning CSPAN,or hot-
ter 1/4 wits steering
talk radio (and I include

them to join my vulgarity
to their resonance) shit
or get off the pot!

Neocon Prayer

War with end,
Amen.

THE ANNUAL SOFTBALL GAME WILL BE PLAYED
SAT SEPT 30! THE NAME OF THE FIELD WILL BE
EMAILED TO YOU NO LATER THAN SEPT 28.

THE FIELD WILL BE NO MORE THAN TWENTY MINUTES
FROM THE FARM.

THIS YEAR’S TEAMS!

          WATERBOARDERS  vs  PUSSIES

(WINDOW DRESSERS WILL CHANGE THOSE NAMES FOR USEFUL IDIOTS,
BUT THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND HEALTHY COMPETITION! NOR WIT.)

GOOD TIME GUARANTEED,WILD BUT NOT WET!

The Village

-The men still tip their hats to women!

-We specialize in empty gestures.

-Be that as it may,the school is so quiet,and playground.
Not a giggle or yell. Where are the children?

-Crusade.

-Oh then they’ll come back!

-Never.

-Forget it. You’ll have others.

-What for?

Holding All the Cards

OIL
We fuck you because we can.

INDUSTRY
Your gouging has increased our costs exponentially.

OIL
Pass it way-yyyy down to John Q. That wondrous “Salt of the earth” in the
Land of the Free and the Powerless.

GOP
Amen! And don’t look to us,you powerless John Qs! We’re party of unfettered markets.
Laissez-faire,baby! And throw in a few hobbyhorse wars. Those promoting them do profit
big-time,a fortunate accident. But we remind them to kick back.

DEMOCRAT
We’ll gnash and make rude and blatant noises,but,well...being on the payroll too
ties our hands. But can we produce reports! Thick bastards! Inevitably,we’ll be forced
to imprison the entire Republican Party. Restitution for what they’ve stolen
will pay for Katrina.

OIL
Relax everyone. We’ll manipulate prices down a bit. Establish a new high platform
for the next huge spring upwards. Sky’s no limit!

INDUSTRY,GOP,DEMOCRAT
The chaos is terror for us all!

OIL
Then give speeches! Hey,we’re almost truly sorry. We fuck you because we must.
It’s fate,as if God-decreed.

When I first move to Cocoa Beach

see a little guy around,a dif-
ferent color neck kerchief for
every day. (“al of the newe jet”

as Chaucer said of his Pardoner.
Or,flashily fashionable.) Amuse
myself by labeling him the Head

of Drama,retired,Port Arthur,
Texas Regional High. Dr Hobart
Berklee Delacorte,say. Do we always

become what we laugh at? Well,often
enough. So,two skin cancer surgeries
have me,King of Immediate Satire,cir-
cling a kerchief round my own red neck.

True,I’m not lisping yet,but...

Outsourcing


-Sad tale and familiar.

-Like to have her popped!

-That used to have sexual meaning.

-You know what I mean.

-Haven’t heard a thing.

-Well among the things you haven’t heard...?

-You know,all those piles of brush around your place?
Pretty unsightly. I’m sorry.

-Yeah. I haven’t had time.

-Fellow around the apartments? Used to be maintenance
but they fired him. Now he just helps on individual jobs.
Redneck junkie drunk.

-But the type might help?

-Hey! Everybody needs a hand tidying up.
...

-Any news on the brush problem?

-He’s got a more specialized friend.

-Outsourcing,huh?

-American cornerstone.

On the Street Where They Live--sort of a trialog


Baghdad Body Count Triples

Morgue figures contradict U.S. military claims of declining violence; 
facilities plan to expand.*


-Such a thing as morgue stocks there?

-That question shows we’ve bottomed out.

-Sell?

-It’s time. Been a lovely war though–but that’s between
you and me.

-And the RNC?

-Amen.

             *Ellen Knickmeyer,WaPo

Limo

MAN
Jesus H. Christ! Darktown Strutters’ Ball!

WOMAN
Just having a good time is all.

MAN
What? Voodoo celebration or something. I thought
we were going to a farmhouse.

WOMAN
Well,this was the country once.

MAN
Turn it around,Billy.

BILLY
Slowly,Sir. Got to thread through.

MAN
Well,little faster. They’re plastering their faces on my window.

BILLY
Will do!

WOMAN
You’re denying our roots!

MAN
Never! But we’ll remain in our Museum District Penthouse,thank you M’am. Speaking of which,Billy,I’ll want the coldest
vodka-tonic you can engineer. On the deck. And then keep ‘em coming!...mellow out and forget this fright!

WOMAN
But the realtor is waiting for us!

MAN
Yeah? Another sucker’ll come along. Throw cell phone back,Billy, so the Missus can inform the REALTOR we won’t be goin’ back to the plantation. Yahsuh! And I can see your rosebud smirk in the side mirror. You never heard this conversation.

BILLY
What conversation?

Lies, Noble & Bald-Faced & Both At Once

R Yeah,a lie. But old stuff! Let’s move on!

D It’s only old because you blocked it before the election. When it should’ve come out.

R You politicize everything!

D We...!

R Growing up is hard to do.

D Arrogance!

R Job requirement.

D You’re in for a bloodbath this next election.
Will you have wisecracks then?

R Absolutely!

GOP 1,2

Gotta do something on Iraq. Our country still looks to us. We’re still in power.

I’m so totally depressed! Why don’t we just wait for the slaughter?

Yes! I think we can run on Party of Martyrs. The cathedrals! Incense! And Fox’ll flash it in the bottom banner.

Hope Democrats get in

and that I’ll turn both barrels
on them when they get
snarky. Be

a while cuz helluva benchmark
has been set.

Hope Democrats get in

and that I’ll turn both barrels
on them when they get
snarky. Be

a while cuz helluva benchmark
has been set.

Haliburton

feeds each dog-
face in Iraq.

How on earth did
the army handle
that job in WW2?

Cooks were good in
my war. Privatized

Korean precursor,
“Tray-jee.”
Meant pig.

“The bright blessed day,the dark sacred night”*


Former New Orleans guy could never listen to
Louis Armstrong’s Do You Know What it Means
To Miss New Orleans? without a lump in his throat.

Now,crossing airport concourses,he sobs hearing it
while multitudinous TVs play,soundlessly,this

hobbyhorse war. “Rebuilding” of that
AMERICAN city is a moral disgrace.
Racial,probably. Well,Louisiana

people‘ll hafta handle their own shit down
there for now,but the rest of us,to put it

in most genteel terms,must,MUST
THROW THE BUMS OUT!

*from It’s a Wonderful World,another Armstrong song.

Goal of Conservatives

Fellow in McDonald’s
anxious to show worker
that a raise in minimum

wage’d be a bad thing
all around. This is
a conservative,one

who proves what profits
him to victims. Prison’d

not be too good a place.
There he’d find buddies.

Americans Enjoy Buying

On Labor Day.
What they’ve bought

is a Plutocratic vision,
which has brought

the death of unions,re-
duction of living standards,
with the big boys directing

the bargaining. But,we’re
told,let the system really
work and all will profit!

Could put on those ruby
red slippers to click to-
gether,but they’re

plumb
wore
out.

Dogmatist Insists

upon the path,brush
slicing his now far-

advancing face.
We could barely
shoot him from this

angle. But another’d
arise,worse. And now,

we’re bottlenecked,
mixed with competing
expeditions. His voice

flung back to all of us,
strident,righteous echoing
within the limitless woods

until swallowed by
a green buzz. And then
that,too,stops.

Since we can’t move,
we begin talking

Querulous,closed,and yet
a joy creeping into the quiet.

Shortest Federal Conversation,Post Disaster

-They want millions,to be dispersed locally.

-Fuck them! They’ll just steal it.

-And we know stealing.

The Latest Line on Wasting Blood and Treasure in Iraq

We are the brave.
Questioners despicable.

A science and an art,
selling flood cars.