All Over the Place

Holding All the Cards

OIL
We fuck you because we can.

INDUSTRY
Your gouging has increased our costs exponentially.

OIL
Pass it way-yyyy down to John Q. That wondrous “Salt of the earth” in the
Land of the Free and the Powerless.

GOP
Amen! And don’t look to us,you powerless John Qs! We’re party of unfettered markets.
Laissez-faire,baby! And throw in a few hobbyhorse wars. Those promoting them do profit
big-time,a fortunate accident. But we remind them to kick back.

DEMOCRAT
We’ll gnash and make rude and blatant noises,but,well...being on the payroll too
ties our hands. But can we produce reports! Thick bastards! Inevitably,we’ll be forced
to imprison the entire Republican Party. Restitution for what they’ve stolen
will pay for Katrina.

OIL
Relax everyone. We’ll manipulate prices down a bit. Establish a new high platform
for the next huge spring upwards. Sky’s no limit!

INDUSTRY,GOP,DEMOCRAT
The chaos is terror for us all!

OIL
Then give speeches! Hey,we’re almost truly sorry. We fuck you because we must.
It’s fate,as if God-decreed.