Tuesday, April 10, 2007
The Metronome of Justice
PROSECUTOR
And how this defendant screwed...!
ATTORNEY
Objection!
JUDGE
I’ll allow screwed. It’s vulgar but could be germane.
PROSECUTOR
widows and orphans!
ATTORNEY
Our side stipulates that defendant possibly defrauded others. Widows and orphans
just in the line of fire. Like all the others. A democracy of alleged victims.
JUDGE
We can do without the wisecracks.
PROSECUTOR
Then why are we having this trial?--in reference to the other side’s admission, Your Honor.
JUDGE
I’ll answer that, Counselors. To explore the finer points of The Criminal Law.
PROSECUTOR
I request a recess, if it pleases the court. Defendant’s attorney seems to have agreed
already to most of the charges. It’s a good time to talk.
JUDGE
Denied. Defendant has sawed through the limb he’s sitting on, but it still
hangs there. We must wait. Or you, Mr Prosecutor, must pull it down.
Don’t expect this court to do the work for you.
ATTORNEY
Thank you, Your Honor.
JUDGE
You’re welcome, but I am bewildered for what.
ATTORNEY
For an atmosphere of civility.
JUDGE
How nice! But we don’t have the time for much more of it.
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PROSECUTOR
And how this defendant screwed...!
ATTORNEY
Objection!
JUDGE
I’ll allow screwed. It’s vulgar but could be germane.
PROSECUTOR
widows and orphans!
ATTORNEY
Our side stipulates that defendant possibly defrauded others. Widows and orphans
just in the line of fire. Like all the others. A democracy of alleged victims.
JUDGE
We can do without the wisecracks.
PROSECUTOR
Then why are we having this trial?--in reference to the other side’s admission, Your Honor.
JUDGE
I’ll answer that, Counselors. To explore the finer points of The Criminal Law.
PROSECUTOR
I request a recess, if it pleases the court. Defendant’s attorney seems to have agreed
already to most of the charges. It’s a good time to talk.
JUDGE
Denied. Defendant has sawed through the limb he’s sitting on, but it still
hangs there. We must wait. Or you, Mr Prosecutor, must pull it down.
Don’t expect this court to do the work for you.
ATTORNEY
Thank you, Your Honor.
JUDGE
You’re welcome, but I am bewildered for what.
ATTORNEY
For an atmosphere of civility.
JUDGE
How nice! But we don’t have the time for much more of it.
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