Saturday, May 12, 2007
Talent
DIRECTOR
Let's have the talent!
ACTOR
Love the word, hate the wry intonation.
DIRECTOR
Jussssst count to four as you're allegedly watching
couple sit down. Uh huh. Good! Now be a waiter.
ACTOR
And what will the gentleman and his gorgeous lady have?
DIRECTOR
Cut. Lovely lady.
ACTOR
Sorry. But gorgeous sounds bet-
DIRECTOR
They took surveys. Surveys said lovely.
ACTOR
I guess I'm talking about writing.
DIRECTOR
Oh? Well don't. That's not what it used to be and it
never was. And be an oily sucker next take--
this here's upscale saloon. Roll 'em!
ACTOR
And what will the gentleman and his lovely lady have?
Such meditation! Then let me suggest--!
DIRECTOR
Cut! Print it!
ACTOR
That's it? Just what am I sugges--? What's the
product for heaven's sake?
DIRECTOR
I don't know. Some booze-bottle snaps in the size of
Rushmore, and then we finally get to see our phantom
couple worshiping the fuckin thing. That's writing too.
At any rate, another crew is doing that trash.
...
ACTOR
Traffic's wicked! Thank you for coming.
WIFE
Nothing.
ACTOR
Your...tone out-corrodes my director's.
WIFE
English your native language?
ACTOR
Uhhh... Well! And what will they have me be next time?
WIFE
A man. That'd be a good one.
