Saturday, October 20, 2007
Side Effects
MC
Well, for the speaker who needed no introduction I know I went
on an unconscionably long time, but without further adieu...and, by the
way, I hear those comments, and do have a conscience! (laughter)
SPEAKER
Well, I don’t know that I can attest to that! (increased laughter)
But one thing that strikes me this lovely afternoon is...(much burping,
farting) Oh I am so sorry. You know from TV that side effects can
include gas and vomit....and even death! Please excuse me...I hit the
nearest bathroom and remedy...please ex...(flees)
SPEAKER
Well. How to think on your feet, right? I feel it best to just go on
with your desserts and get refills on the coffee, until our honored speaker...
(Ten minutes later) Uh, could I have your attention? I sent our young superstar to see that he’s all right. Voila! He has returned and here’s some face-time
for him. Though it may well be the first little shove out the door for me!
(mock cheer)
YOUNG MAN
I realize I’m not a physician, but I think he’s dead!
MC
Recording Secretary will record those words exactly. Now I’ll appoint a committee of three to confirm. One of the members will be a woman, so I hope there’s no false modesty. When their report comes in, I’ll probably call our CEO and then 911. Proud to say I trained in this company! First death on the can presents no unsurmountable problem.
MC
Well, for the speaker who needed no introduction I know I went
on an unconscionably long time, but without further adieu...and, by the
way, I hear those comments, and do have a conscience! (laughter)
SPEAKER
Well, I don’t know that I can attest to that! (increased laughter)
But one thing that strikes me this lovely afternoon is...(much burping,
farting) Oh I am so sorry. You know from TV that side effects can
include gas and vomit....and even death! Please excuse me...I hit the
nearest bathroom and remedy...please ex...(flees)
SPEAKER
Well. How to think on your feet, right? I feel it best to just go on
with your desserts and get refills on the coffee, until our honored speaker...
(Ten minutes later) Uh, could I have your attention? I sent our young superstar to see that he’s all right. Voila! He has returned and here’s some face-time
for him. Though it may well be the first little shove out the door for me!
(mock cheer)
YOUNG MAN
I realize I’m not a physician, but I think he’s dead!
MC
Recording Secretary will record those words exactly. Now I’ll appoint a committee of three to confirm. One of the members will be a woman, so I hope there’s no false modesty. When their report comes in, I’ll probably call our CEO and then 911. Proud to say I trained in this company! First death on the can presents no unsurmountable problem.
