Tuesday, April 15, 2008
The Bill
SENATOR
I can’t understand all this technical shit! That’s for the queer-o-nerds!
How am I supposed to vote on the whole fuckin mess?
ASSISTANT
You’re against it. Word came from way on high.
SENATOR
Well I always listen! But I need talking points. Face-time on Wolf Blitzer scheduled right after the vote.
ASSISTANT
We’re sneaking in Exxon-Mobil guy to give you those.
SENATOR
Dressed as a woman?
ASSISTANT
That was another administration.
SENATOR
Boy were they a fuckin bunch of crooked sleazebags!
ASSISTANT
(whisper) Takes one to know...
SENATOR
What was that?
ASSISTANT
I was going to say. Takes one like you, a straight-talker with your famous
built-in shit detector to...!
SENATOR
Uh huh? Well my shit detector is kicking in at present.
ASSISTANT
Truly Sir, I...!
SENATOR
Don’t apologize. I expect treachery all round and I’m rarely disappointed.
SENATOR
I can’t understand all this technical shit! That’s for the queer-o-nerds!
How am I supposed to vote on the whole fuckin mess?
ASSISTANT
You’re against it. Word came from way on high.
SENATOR
Well I always listen! But I need talking points. Face-time on Wolf Blitzer scheduled right after the vote.
ASSISTANT
We’re sneaking in Exxon-Mobil guy to give you those.
SENATOR
Dressed as a woman?
ASSISTANT
That was another administration.
SENATOR
Boy were they a fuckin bunch of crooked sleazebags!
ASSISTANT
(whisper) Takes one to know...
SENATOR
What was that?
ASSISTANT
I was going to say. Takes one like you, a straight-talker with your famous
built-in shit detector to...!
SENATOR
Uh huh? Well my shit detector is kicking in at present.
ASSISTANT
Truly Sir, I...!
SENATOR
Don’t apologize. I expect treachery all round and I’m rarely disappointed.
