Saturday, April 26, 2008
The Deal At the Gate
SAINT PETER
Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Where YOU going, Buddy-Boy?
CANDIDATE
Self evident! Into heaven.
SAINT PETER
I don’t think so. Did you bring a tax return?
CANDIDATE
Nonsense! It’s about Faith and Good Works and Humility!
SAINT PETER
You can’t run anything without money. And you’re not worth enough of it,
whatever your disposition.
CANDIDATE
But I implore you...!
SAINT PETER
Implore-shimplore! Stick a fork in yourself. You’re done!
CANDIDATE
God help me! Is there...a purgatory, where I can...?
SAINT PETER
That’s a fable. How about you move your penurious tuchis to that elevator?
Take you down to a place where they’ll deep fry the shit you’ve eaten all your life. And, by the way, rotza ruck!
