Friday, April 24, 2009
Warning: Treats American Business; therefore, profanity and vulgarity.
At Credit Card HQ
-Let me sit behind you a sec. Now put up map of late charges
on your lovely screen. Good, zoom into upper Peninsula
of Michigan. Now, whatta y’see?
-Not one late charge! Amazing! Probably lots of retired farts.
-Most likely, but we hafta goose revenues there! Do it!
-But how? Hands tied.
-Your office logs in mail daily, right?
-Of course, and that’s what I mean by...
-Note that I pick up a mail bag. Say it’s from those zips. I toss it in the
corner. Thus! And one day late on these payments, I discover it?
Oh dear oh dearie dear, I’ll hafta charge a late fee now. What a shame!
-They’ll bitch!
-Ten per cent will and we’ll refund them. Not worth the phone time,
even of Mumbai spicks. But ninety percent won’t. And they should have the satisfaction of knowing they’re taking it up the ass for American fuckin
Capitalism! They’re patriots!
-What‘s that picture where they’re marching with the flute and the drum
and the flag?
-Exactly!
At Credit Card HQ
-Let me sit behind you a sec. Now put up map of late charges
on your lovely screen. Good, zoom into upper Peninsula
of Michigan. Now, whatta y’see?
-Not one late charge! Amazing! Probably lots of retired farts.
-Most likely, but we hafta goose revenues there! Do it!
-But how? Hands tied.
-Your office logs in mail daily, right?
-Of course, and that’s what I mean by...
-Note that I pick up a mail bag. Say it’s from those zips. I toss it in the
corner. Thus! And one day late on these payments, I discover it?
Oh dear oh dearie dear, I’ll hafta charge a late fee now. What a shame!
-They’ll bitch!
-Ten per cent will and we’ll refund them. Not worth the phone time,
even of Mumbai spicks. But ninety percent won’t. And they should have the satisfaction of knowing they’re taking it up the ass for American fuckin
Capitalism! They’re patriots!
-What‘s that picture where they’re marching with the flute and the drum
and the flag?
-Exactly!
Labels: banks, credit cards
