Monday, April 04, 2011
Kicking Grandma to the Curb
DEM
I don’t know how I feel about this.
REPUB
That’s not news. But look, I get sick of being accused in the metaphor all the time. I’m not a figure of speech! I feel like literally doing it, but I’d like your help.
DEM
Well, maybe after you really get some good ones in, I’ll just
administer a gentle, uh, leggish nudge or two.
REPUB
Symbolic, almost. You’re good at that.
Grandma enters.
GRANDMA
I didn’t get my medicine and every bone aches!
REPUB
That’s so? Well here’s something for your trouble!
Screaming ensues.
(To DEM) You getting in on this?
DEM
Actual thumps and shrieking not as aesthetic as TV.
REPUB
I’m bushed. About broke my own ass in the process!
DEM
You got her to the curb. My input not needed, fortunately.
GRANDMA
God will punish you!
REPUB
Doubt it. It’s the Party foists the God-Malarkey.
I believe in nothing!
DEM
Rare point of agreement.
DEM
I don’t know how I feel about this.
REPUB
That’s not news. But look, I get sick of being accused in the metaphor all the time. I’m not a figure of speech! I feel like literally doing it, but I’d like your help.
DEM
Well, maybe after you really get some good ones in, I’ll just
administer a gentle, uh, leggish nudge or two.
REPUB
Symbolic, almost. You’re good at that.
Grandma enters.
GRANDMA
I didn’t get my medicine and every bone aches!
REPUB
That’s so? Well here’s something for your trouble!
Screaming ensues.
(To DEM) You getting in on this?
DEM
Actual thumps and shrieking not as aesthetic as TV.
REPUB
I’m bushed. About broke my own ass in the process!
DEM
You got her to the curb. My input not needed, fortunately.
GRANDMA
God will punish you!
REPUB
Doubt it. It’s the Party foists the God-Malarkey.
I believe in nothing!
DEM
Rare point of agreement.
Labels: Kicking Grandma to the Curb, medicare
