Sunday, March 25, 2012
“Plenty of Blame
to go around.” Whenever the scandal de jour hit we were
informed of this. But I never expected it to be enshrined
in a law.
Now I have received a registered letter regarding the latest
mortgage mess. My Guilt Index is .067. I called the 800
number and listened, not unpleasantly, to Glen Gray
and the Casa Loma Orchestra. Eventually, a Ricky answered, telling me I had to be interviewed even though I had no mortgage, renting an apartment.
My interview had been outsourced to Zellseek,
a corporation in a nearby industrial park.
Zellseek had recently organized flatly, and no one proved
responsible for anything. But an obsequious robot gave me
a t-shirt with .067 embroidered on it. He took me to three
departments where they were too busy to speak to me.
Finally, a Rolden Excelsior rolled up with delicious coffee and
scones. "Isn't it all so terrifically silly and stupid?" he asked
rhetorically.
The scones were blueberry and heavenly. "Who baked...?"
I began.
“I do everything around here!” Soon he was helping me into
a green blazer. "Do you feel like you've won the Masters?”
he laughed. “At any rate, please accept this gift from
my robot associates to lessen the inconvenience of
being subjected to such asinine incompetence.”
“A Rolden Excelsior?” my bud, Nick, gushed later.
“Your path is golden from here out!”
Indeed I was friended on Robo-Universe shortly
thereafter; also invited to a picnic where I
proved the only human.
My Rolden scolded me for not wearing the blazer.
"Everywhere you go! Will protect you when..."
Labels: flat management, robot, scandal and blame
