Sunday, January 27, 2013
Team
Jerry cringes at the lunchroom banner.
WELCOME TO THE TEAM!
It had been put up after a famous football coach
had given a severely motivational speech.
From what he can tell as the newest hire, each
“team” member has an individual agenda.
In his cubicle less than an an hour when
the first warning insinuates: to the effect of
bewaring Laurel-Ann.
Strongly desires to “end the crap against women
around here!”
“Yeah, in the next hour and a half,” adds the wag
he borrows Coffee-mate creamer from.
In the following days, other warnings issue. So and so
seems______but he or she is ACTUALY_____!
Nonetheless, the work goes pretty well. Mostly
because it consists of solo projects, with no team
members chiming in.
His first collective effort gives him a political jolt.
After, he’s told to choose either of two factions.
But begs off as being too new to decide.
As a result, both shun him when possible.
He buys a small Coffee-mate for his initial
benefactor. Though
told it isn’t really necessary,
he knows, with certainty, it is.
An article on the Business
Week site informs him he
best seek a mentor.
But right now trusts no one.
In this queasy timeframe, rumors of a circulating
ax emerge. A disembodied one with nobody at
the handle end.
The veterans opine the new hires should be cut.
This shiny group all for the lopping of dead wood.
Though evidence not strong enough yet, Jerry's instincts
lead him to phone a headhunter.
Asked to summarize why he wishes to leave,
does so without sounding like a lunatic.
“Stay where you are. Everything on my desk lousier!”’
