Thursday, June 06, 2013
Polo and Paranoia
I filled out the computer form without a hitch.
Until 14a.
It asked for innocuous background information, and yet ghosted
out when I entered the first letter.
I tried submitting the form but, you guessed it, was
informed I must fill out 14a, required field.
In the comments section, I told of my difficulty.
In spare prose.
Resubmitted, and got the message again.
Called the 800 number, where an Adrian of
indeterminate sex asked me if I had objections
to what 14a asked.
“None whatsoever.”
“I got your form up on my screen and 14a receives
information.”
“Glitch on my end then. Must be some way...?”
“Someone will be sent out.”
“You're kidding! They still do that?”
“Rarely. It’s hardly desirable.”
They did, in the form of two fellows in black shoes
who proved quite gentle in their kidding. "Now you're
not gonna gum up the whole works by refusing to
do 14a?” asked one.
“Who do you think you are? Frances Gumm?”
laughed the other.
“That was the real name of Judy Garland,” explained
the first. But was a bit hot the other fellow had said it.
“Anyway...when we leave, you promise to give it another shot, right?”
I did. Immediately. Ghosted out again. So next
time I typed in Frances Gumm, which it accepted.
Then sailed right through. I was welcomed
to the Family and “would hear much more
in the ensuing week and months!”
When I heard nothing, I asked my tech-
and-everything-else savvy friend, Maxie-Mo.
"That Frances Gumm thing'll get all the
way to Washington. You stumbled into the
Inner Sanctum.
You can plead ignorance, but you look so
that way, they'll never believe.”
“What can I do...?”
“Wait it out for another year. Then they'll come and
search. Just for show. They'll throw things around
and leave. You'll never hear from them again.
Or you will.
If you do, be drones by the window thing.
Again, just for show.
You're really not in any trouble. Yet.
Me, I’m putting Francis Gumm with my passwords.
Gonna hack the shit outa ‘em!”
He did, filling out 14a properly for me. Even as
to making me an x-Goal Polo star. He does, but I
don’t know enough of what’s good in Polo.
In handicap number or anything else.
Laurette Devine of Action News Sports Central wants to
interview me.
Maxie-Mo says “Do some googling and then go ahead with it. Everything
is shit today anyway. We’re in the last freakin chukka! The Frances Gumm one.”
I filled out the computer form without a hitch.
Until 14a.
It asked for innocuous background information, and yet ghosted
out when I entered the first letter.
I tried submitting the form but, you guessed it, was
informed I must fill out 14a, required field.
In the comments section, I told of my difficulty.
In spare prose.
Resubmitted, and got the message again.
Called the 800 number, where an Adrian of
indeterminate sex asked me if I had objections
to what 14a asked.
“None whatsoever.”
“I got your form up on my screen and 14a receives
information.”
“Glitch on my end then. Must be some way...?”
“Someone will be sent out.”
“You're kidding! They still do that?”
“Rarely. It’s hardly desirable.”
They did, in the form of two fellows in black shoes
who proved quite gentle in their kidding. "Now you're
not gonna gum up the whole works by refusing to
do 14a?” asked one.
“Who do you think you are? Frances Gumm?”
laughed the other.
“That was the real name of Judy Garland,” explained
the first. But was a bit hot the other fellow had said it.
“Anyway...when we leave, you promise to give it another shot, right?”
I did. Immediately. Ghosted out again. So next
time I typed in Frances Gumm, which it accepted.
Then sailed right through. I was welcomed
to the Family and “would hear much more
in the ensuing week and months!”
When I heard nothing, I asked my tech-
and-everything-else savvy friend, Maxie-Mo.
"That Frances Gumm thing'll get all the
way to Washington. You stumbled into the
Inner Sanctum.
You can plead ignorance, but you look so
that way, they'll never believe.”
“What can I do...?”
“Wait it out for another year. Then they'll come and
search. Just for show. They'll throw things around
and leave. You'll never hear from them again.
Or you will.
If you do, be drones by the window thing.
Again, just for show.
You're really not in any trouble. Yet.
Me, I’m putting Francis Gumm with my passwords.
Gonna hack the shit outa ‘em!”
He did, filling out 14a properly for me. Even as
to making me an x-Goal Polo star. He does, but I
don’t know enough of what’s good in Polo.
In handicap number or anything else.
Laurette Devine of Action News Sports Central wants to
interview me.
Maxie-Mo says “Do some googling and then go ahead with it. Everything
is shit today anyway. We’re in the last freakin chukka! The Frances Gumm one.”
Labels: computer form, Frances Gumm, ghosting out, Judy Garland, polo
