Wednesday, January 01, 2014
Color and Men
At the Health Club, After Working Out
Dockery, Cricket, Young Winslow
DOCKERY
He’s cradling his pecker in expressive hues.
CRICKET
Oughta tie a string so he can find it.
WINSLOW
Note now, ever caustic and colorless gentlemen, this shirt.
DOCKERY
Tie-died was called before the hippies left us to our wars.
CRICKET
And got to laughing at their own ridiculous legacy!
WINSLOW
And these trousers of Parisian Cocoa! The sheen, you’ll perceive...changes according to light.
DOCKERY
Hell, mine do that! Except when washed.
CRICKET
What shade you call yours, Diggery-Dock?
DOCKERY
Alley Mud mid Dogshit.
WINSLOW
That's the trouble with you alleged males. No color!
Reflecting dull lives forever!
CRICKET (to DOCKERY)
You doing that?
DOCKERY
Can't help it.
CRICKET
Could you get us one of those girlfriends...
DOCKERY
to chromatic us up to fit the modern scene?
WINSLOW
There's only one and I possess her!
DOCKERY
To the offense of eyeballs everywhere.
WINSLOW
Laugh on boys! I'm heading for love in the afternoon, and
you to whatever lonely sports saloon.
CRICKET
Driving the clown car today is you?
DOCKERY
Lay off him, Cricket! Why we're such expected dun roosters,
the girls shun us for dandies of suggested couture.
WINSLOW
So she picks my clothes? So what? Lastly, this jacket of
Harris Tweed!
CRICKET
Still stinking of Harris!
DOCKERY
Locked in the weave.
CRICKET
Anyhow, pussy-whipped in fashion, our Young Winslow!
DOCKERY
First of many categories.
CRICKET
I hate sad endings.
DOCKERY
And absurd presents.
WINSLOW
Look at me! Completely! Fully! Here’s a PRESENCE for you!
DOCKERY
How can we help not?
CRICKET
Go forth and sin no more!
WINSLOW
Farewell, Assholes!
DOCKERY
Takes one, etcetera.
CRICKET
Will she dye his hair too?
DOCKERY
Nothing is more probable.
Labels: banter, female influence, male fashion, relationship
