Sunday, February 15, 2015
Going Dutch in a
Red State
When Jup and Mitzy got down, they always went to
Trash Alley. This time she got Dutch Boys and Girls.
The Chinese man didn’t have windmills, but girlfriend,
Letz did, she knew.
Jup got National Football League players, sort of. Splotchily
painted, but the jerseys were the approximate color, and
had script identifying the team name.
No ceramic pants, but little erect penises.
“Cute, but they’ll break off if you play with them,” warned
Mitzy.
“I’m not gonna play with their peckers!”
“I mean just play generally. They’re delicate.”
He had another plan, which he told her. It inspired her.
So, for each game that year, he paired the figures.
Thus Bronco versus Raiders, as an example. Then,
photographed them with his phone camera. Sixteen
games, sixteen pictures that week.
When the season opened, she brought along the
actual Dutch figures. Girlfriend Letz, her own little
windmills and wagons and such. They sat in a booth
with other women at Mad Martha’s, and played the way
they did as girls.
On the way back from the men’s room, Jip told them
“Don’t get too rough now!”
Then he returned to his gang watching the contest
on the biggest screen in the place.
Wills and Hester always came late, but this time
she brought the ceramic food she had fashioned.
She got a hearty Dutch welcome. “Let’s eat the
sausages first!” gushed Emily Hertzmeuller.
Meantime, the men tapped their phones together ritually,
and thus received the obscene schedule of Jup’s.
Men, their wives and girlfriends, appreciated him and Mitzy
further livening up their gameday.
Mad Martha in the kitchen yelled to Gypsy Joe at the bar
that they were a class act!
Some of the newer lady friends were tomboys and wouldn’t
play with the women, but roared alongside the men.
“It takes all kinds,” Jup reminded the very conservative
Ralph Betz, nicknamed Reagan.
Labels: child play, Dutch, female bonding, football, male bonding, Reagan, relationships, segregating by sex, sex roles, trash
