Saturday, May 09, 2015
The Fabrications of Men
POP! goes...
When a whole bunch of them won the lottery, it wasn't that much
for each, but enough for Wrench to retire with his Jill.
Everybody took something from the factory, with management's
blessing. But Wrench requesting a high quality industrial spring
made foreman Carks do additional paperwork.
He built his project in the garage, and then forced it into the
living room.
“My Jill is a better Jack,” he inferred mysteriously to their friends.
Comes the big party and he turns the handle on the big box...
and out pops she dressed as a clown!
Dilly Hambro thought she was having a heart attack!
A feature of their upcoming parties, of course, but, like
everything, grew old.
Soon enough, more of a private thing between the two of them.
So, only once a week now. Thursday, when Wrench hits Kippy's
Kool Kup.
Jill gets inside and waits, but lest you feel sorry for her, it’s
air-conditioned with an office chair and quality reading lamp.
She watches her favorite soap opera on demand, quite absorbed
by Dr Kepperson's firing from the Chief Physician's Position, and
taking up with Nurse Evil! O how his wife Veronica suffers! Her thing.
"Buck up, Girl!" Jill admonishes as the show final credits scroll by.
Then she googles recipes on her tablet. Something fast she
can whip up for Wrench after he staggers in and flips the handle.
Fried Flank Steak Jullienes with Secret Sauce. And Mixed with
Mixed Veggies Mixed with Tater Tots!
He’ll turn the lever and she'll pop up saying
The best of cow for us
and with little fuss!
He took poetry in night school once and figures that’s one.
Anyway, no more clown stuff ever: she wears her regular clothes.
(Had to put her foot down during one sordid period when he had
her dressing in a nightie, and wanted to perform some ridiculous
experiments right after. She'd pop up in a rush of perfume. And then!
Well, she got him to calm down by warning she’d dress as biblical
heroines.)
As...in all marriages...the parties settle in. Settled in.
Then she gets ill. “Don’t worry,” he tells friends, “My Jill will pop again!”
She never does.
But the spring eventually whumphs once more on Bishop Street.
-You're such a nut!...what rhymes with nut?
-Slut?
Mrs Hobart Grimshaw, the druggist's wife, has started walking
by there with Non-Fluffy, the Chinese Crested.
“Why is it certain individuals dive down with their second wives?”
"As for me, one treasure is enough!" Some men know what to say.
Labels: Jack-in-box, lottery, marriage, marriage stunt, retired, second wife, widower, working men
