Monday, December 21, 2015
Round Up the Usual Western Insanity
St Rita the Mostly Good returned from a bender
in Reno with a nondescript cowboy. Her husband
informed the Sheriff.
He and his deputy, the other Drama Queen of Law
Enforcement, drove him out to the highway and
unholstered their weapons. He took the hint and ran.
Since she was Mayor, Rita settled down once again to
the routine of her office. During the two-year good
period, Scratch Ass Dog prospered.
The name was real, but, of course, had been chosen
by drunken silver miners during its entirely lawless phase.
Later it became a ghost town. Then Rita and her husband
refurbished it as a tourist attraction.
He ran the Quality Inn, and she the dance school. He was
always good and she, as before intimated, mostly.
There wasn't that much lawbreaking but shifting and
obscure parking regulations gave the sheriff and deputy
the bulk of their work, primarily in the collecting fines aspect.
Neighbors from surrounding towns often spoke of going to
the Scratch, or the Dog, for a quick drink.
Few ever tired of the staged shoot-out where Sheriff played Lefty,
the one-armed. And Deputy, Pig, the reputed worst man ever to
live in Hopp County.
Lefty killed him daily, not really preventing a very aggrieved final
speech after a spectacularly elongated stagger and fall. Then Lefty
gave an oration over the dead body as to the glory of Law Enforcement.
St Rita the Mostly Good itched to flee again, with or without a passing bum, when the Quality Inn was robbed during the shootout reenactment.
Sheriff quickly apologized to the audience and he and Deputy took off, Siren screaming and red and blue lights spinning!
The pursuit was Keystone Kops, both vehicles ramming each other and the squad car ending on its roof.
The SUV, however, had hit the only oak mid runt trees,
cactus and scrub, and the officers managed to crawl out and
limp to it to effect the arrest of the unconscious old man
supplementing his Social Security.
The Mayor put them in the same hospital room, and the three
got along, but the old man complained of their screaming in
real and imagined pain.
A video was retrieved from the carcam, and St Rita used stills
from it in the new brochure.
The young state trooper filling in part-time caught her eye,
but her husband unrelented his surveillance.
She, however, became entirely busy choreographing a ballet of
The Chase. A little license therein, since the children shot off
silvery cap pistols but nary a shot fired in the unhinged pursuit.
Anyway, the first performance was in the hospital room where
the old man applauded vigorously, and the officers grew jealous
of all the attention being paid to the dancers.
Labels: armed robbery, automotive pursuit, law enforcement, Nevada, reenactment, Reno, restlessness, sex, Social Security, West
