Saturday, April 02, 2011
Snap Course In Municipal Progress
When Marcy made Captain, she told the other detectives she could no longer be goosed. The announcement was greeted with sober applause, but none when she hinted that the horseplay should cease anyway.
Unfortunately, she became the next violator, goosing a young lieutenant who shrieked in such a feminine voice that the departmental sadist threatened to tease him forever.
But was brought up short by having his nose rearranged.
This fisticuff happened the very day the Head of Detectives expired at a Mets game.
Marcy was again promoted, and her first duty involved interviewing the splat nose, who threatened suit.
She fired him after saying he was the sorriest excuse
for a detective she ever saw.
He hied to the Chief of Police, who asked the mayor
to reign Marcy in.
His appeal was so successful that the mayor instead decided
to move Chief’s retirement up to one year from two.
This upset Chief so much he played even more golf that particular week, traveling to the state capital where a new Arnold Palmer Signature course had just opened.
Incidentally, to appeal to his cousin, a legislator.
When the legislator phoned the mayor, the locks
got changed on the Chief's office and it was given
to the press he was immediately retiring
for health reasons.
Meanwhile, Marcy was confronted by Junior Detective Lillian____to the effect that she was lodging a complaint
with The Human Relations Commission regarding the
frat boy imbecility of the department.
She showed her a cartoon her boyfriend had drawn for the newspaper showing Marcy as shepherdess against a weedy meadow. The caption: Can fading Bo Peep tame
the stubborn sheep?
After Lillian departed, Marcy took the cartoon into the bathroom and held it up beside her face.
Burst into sobs at the fat, trashy figure. After framing
it, tears splashing the glass, and hanging it in the
bathroom, she made an appointment at a spa for
the complete works.
After her first full spa day, where Harold saw her hair as the challenge of a lifetime, her new mentor in the mayor's office sent his tailor to measure her for the Chief of Police uniform!
Things were moving too fast for just about everyone, and
prior to her swearing-in, she wore the uniform to a
meeting of roiled detectives.
She apprised them of the fact that any incident of horseplay would result in the whole department being reduced to the rank of the most junior detective. Also, that the young male lieutenant was now Captain, Head of Detectives.
He proved to run a tight ship, and the wall behind Chief Marcy's desk eventually filled up with awards.
She brought out the cartoon from the bathroom
and installed it amid them.
When Marcy made Captain, she told the other detectives she could no longer be goosed. The announcement was greeted with sober applause, but none when she hinted that the horseplay should cease anyway.
Unfortunately, she became the next violator, goosing a young lieutenant who shrieked in such a feminine voice that the departmental sadist threatened to tease him forever.
But was brought up short by having his nose rearranged.
This fisticuff happened the very day the Head of Detectives expired at a Mets game.
Marcy was again promoted, and her first duty involved interviewing the splat nose, who threatened suit.
She fired him after saying he was the sorriest excuse
for a detective she ever saw.
He hied to the Chief of Police, who asked the mayor
to reign Marcy in.
His appeal was so successful that the mayor instead decided
to move Chief’s retirement up to one year from two.
This upset Chief so much he played even more golf that particular week, traveling to the state capital where a new Arnold Palmer Signature course had just opened.
Incidentally, to appeal to his cousin, a legislator.
When the legislator phoned the mayor, the locks
got changed on the Chief's office and it was given
to the press he was immediately retiring
for health reasons.
Meanwhile, Marcy was confronted by Junior Detective Lillian____to the effect that she was lodging a complaint
with The Human Relations Commission regarding the
frat boy imbecility of the department.
She showed her a cartoon her boyfriend had drawn for the newspaper showing Marcy as shepherdess against a weedy meadow. The caption: Can fading Bo Peep tame
the stubborn sheep?
After Lillian departed, Marcy took the cartoon into the bathroom and held it up beside her face.
Burst into sobs at the fat, trashy figure. After framing
it, tears splashing the glass, and hanging it in the
bathroom, she made an appointment at a spa for
the complete works.
After her first full spa day, where Harold saw her hair as the challenge of a lifetime, her new mentor in the mayor's office sent his tailor to measure her for the Chief of Police uniform!
Things were moving too fast for just about everyone, and
prior to her swearing-in, she wore the uniform to a
meeting of roiled detectives.
She apprised them of the fact that any incident of horseplay would result in the whole department being reduced to the rank of the most junior detective. Also, that the young male lieutenant was now Captain, Head of Detectives.
He proved to run a tight ship, and the wall behind Chief Marcy's desk eventually filled up with awards.
She brought out the cartoon from the bathroom
and installed it amid them.
Labels: municipal politics, office horseplay, police
