Sunday, May 29, 2011
Rocco and Cyber-Dating Ralphie "Romance"
ROCCO
So, how went the latest?
RALPHIE
She had two notes: yelling and shrieking.
ROCCO
Unlike your preferred compact Italians, silent and ripe
to sexually explode.
RALPHIE
We met in a coffee shop on South Street.
ROCCO
Check your ID? Pretty old for the venue.
RALPHIE
Her too. But we enjoyed ourselves.
ROCCO
She could talk? When not actually yelling or shrieking?
RALPHIE
Football! She doesn't like West Coast Offense.
ROCCO
Me neither. Throw the fuckin ball down the field!
Nothing to lose but the game.
RALPHIE
She agrees.
ROCCO
I'm guessing, too, resembles a smallish linebacker.
RALPHIE
Bingo! And after, she says "Let's run!" So we run down
South Street. But she slips on some trash in front
of a Goth boutique and breaks a fingernail!
ROCCO
The expected tragedy ensues? Though a tomboy,
she's still a girl.
RALPHIE
Nah! Takes out a bandaid from her backpack. No drama.
ROCCO
What’s next?
RALPHIE
Saturday we shop Reading Terminal Market for picnic
lunch stuff, walk to Rittenhouse Square for--
ROCCO
Why not pull up a spot of grease on the riverside? Closer.
RALPHIE
The long walk's part of the plan.
ROCCO
And will the next be a tryst in your hastily-cleaned
studio apartment?
RALPHIE
I don’t think so. If she proves a yeller there,
my landlady pounds on the door!
ROCCO
Wait just a minute! That shrieking you first described
involves her laughing at your lame jokes!
RALPHIE
Bingo! And I don’t miss the twelve-mile stares of the
condescenders one little bit!
ROCCO
Your ex-wives thought you were funny.
RALPHIE
Pathetic, more like.
S Philadelphia's Rocco turns off the politics for matters
personal and sociological.
ROCCO
So, how went the latest?
RALPHIE
She had two notes: yelling and shrieking.
ROCCO
Unlike your preferred compact Italians, silent and ripe
to sexually explode.
RALPHIE
We met in a coffee shop on South Street.
ROCCO
Check your ID? Pretty old for the venue.
RALPHIE
Her too. But we enjoyed ourselves.
ROCCO
She could talk? When not actually yelling or shrieking?
RALPHIE
Football! She doesn't like West Coast Offense.
ROCCO
Me neither. Throw the fuckin ball down the field!
Nothing to lose but the game.
RALPHIE
She agrees.
ROCCO
I'm guessing, too, resembles a smallish linebacker.
RALPHIE
Bingo! And after, she says "Let's run!" So we run down
South Street. But she slips on some trash in front
of a Goth boutique and breaks a fingernail!
ROCCO
The expected tragedy ensues? Though a tomboy,
she's still a girl.
RALPHIE
Nah! Takes out a bandaid from her backpack. No drama.
ROCCO
What’s next?
RALPHIE
Saturday we shop Reading Terminal Market for picnic
lunch stuff, walk to Rittenhouse Square for--
ROCCO
Why not pull up a spot of grease on the riverside? Closer.
RALPHIE
The long walk's part of the plan.
ROCCO
And will the next be a tryst in your hastily-cleaned
studio apartment?
RALPHIE
I don’t think so. If she proves a yeller there,
my landlady pounds on the door!
ROCCO
Wait just a minute! That shrieking you first described
involves her laughing at your lame jokes!
RALPHIE
Bingo! And I don’t miss the twelve-mile stares of the
condescenders one little bit!
ROCCO
Your ex-wives thought you were funny.
RALPHIE
Pathetic, more like.
S Philadelphia's Rocco turns off the politics for matters
personal and sociological.
Labels: cyber dating, Rocco, South Philadelphia
