Sunday, July 06, 2014
Bert liked to inform the salesmen personally
of their raises and bonuses. Thus he took
Sammy out to an elaborate champagne
lunch at Mario’s.
“I’m rounding out twenty years, and you’re
the best I’ve ever seen!” he toasted him.
“Meek Mockum!” replied this Ace.
Bert changed the subject to baseball, and things
flowed from there. Sammy having sharp opinions
re the underperforming Yankees.
Anyway...was Bert’s first exposure to Sammy’s
Tourette’s. Pretty much nothing. He wondered
what the clients saw, but who cares if somebody
could sell like that? And, no tics yet.
His cellphone vibrated, and when he glimpsed the screen,
he told Sammy, “Gotta take this. A few seconds.”
Was Honey, as could be discerned by “Honey...
please Honey...Honey! Paris!”
Before he could flip the phone closed, her hissed
conclusion carried: “Take the tickets and stick em
up your ass!”
Bert then spouted “Meek Mockum!” Four times.
Mario’s brother, their waiter, sped over. Then, he repeated
Bert. Sammy repeated him, and Bert, and himself.
At the next table, a woman fell to the floor, foaming it from
the mouth, blurrily, it sounding more like “Moo-oo-hoo!’
Her husband sang "In fair London City,
where girls have big titties...”
When the ambulance came, the attendants, under
the principle of removing the least affected,
piled this singer into the back.
“I blame it on the TV,” Attendant A remarked when underway.
“How about video games?”
“I don’t get that.”
“Nor anything else. Look! Time nailed it: The Empathetic Society.
It’ll kill us!”