Thursday, September 25, 2014
Criminals All
-Well, we meet once more! Your Holmes to
my Moriarty! Dr Stark Z Reilly, noted
Criminologist! Expert in the Annals of Cri...!
-Speaking of which, you're probably in there.
-No such luck, Grimy Guru. No convictions.
-Oh?
-Ooops, I spoke too fast. Pinched for Speeding
in New Jersey. Paid the fine. Case closed.
-So, a criminal.
-Yeah, a regular Baby Face Nelson, Willy Sutton,
Lucy Borden, even--for modern variety’s sake,
and sexual tolerance in all acceptable examples.
-She was acquitted.
-Ah but the rhyme lives on! Pen being mightier than
the Shiksa!
-Whatever. No thefts or assaults on your record?
Convicted or not?
-Hey, in our neighborhood? Lifting something was, like,
a Badge of Honor! So when that retired cop, Totally White
Leary, trimmed his rosebushes with a neat-o little hand
thing, and absently put it down...?
-You...?
-So pretty! Like jewelry. But I did it just to hear him roar.
-Assaults?
-Ex and I, après drunken ice skating. One frozen word leads
to another and we swing some vicious haymakers. But they
land on layers and layers, so we just get exhausted to icy tears.
I can still hear the muffled blows and shrieks of frustration.
-Lovely story, but just Assault. Disturbing the Peace etc.
At any rate, you're a criminal all right!
-Hey, key me into your Annals of Vicious Crime then!
Be my guest! Like, lemme aid your academic freakin
career with my dark example!
-You're already in there!
-Oh yeah? Well maybe I care a hell of a lot more about
what St Peter is bringing up on HIS laptop.
-He's in The Cloud.
-Atheist humor, weaker than most.
Labels: assault, Baby Face Nelson, crime, criminal, Criminal Justice, Lucy Borden, marriage, speeding, Willy Sutton
