Wednesday, April 15, 2015
At Aunt Jemima’s Quilting Party
she sent home Uncles Tom and Ben. Women only!
No Race Gal, she had invited Scarlet O’Hara and
Jeannie With the Light Brown Hair.
The former bored on and on concerning myths of
White Southern Womanhood!
The latter flitted about, bearing her hair. Jemima got
them down to quilting, though Scarlet insisted on
sitting on her lap.
Well, you couldn’t quilt that way, so Jemima placed
her among the blackest women.
Simon Legree came to the door to do his horrible thing.
He had been tasked with keeping an eye on all uncles.
Jemima, though, turned him away so fast his atrocious
head was spinning!
The chattering quilters were making so much noise
that nobody could think! Even drowning out the beaters
of the feet on the Mississippi mud outside!
Jemima shouted that the dancers were turning that mud
into concrete for Uncle Tom’s and Ben’s heads!
That proved the laugh of the night! Finally you couldn’t hear
the dancers, who, discouraged, quit. Save one who rapped:
De fat black broad gets uppity
n’ make de party for white hos.
Racist dick he come to doh,
look for de crazy uncles. He
try seeing all de tits,
and mean as catshit!
Jemima invited him in for catfish, but Jeannie with the Light
Brown Hair started her borne-vaporing again, distracting
everyone.
Scarlet retched about her lost dump of a house: “Plantation!”
Jemima laughed uproariously, and was particularly jolly to all!
Where will we find her like again? Old Black Joe, he done gone!
Labels: Aunt Jemima, Jeannie With the Light Brown Hair, Mississippi, Old Black Joe, quilting, Race, rap, Simon Legree, Uncle Ben, Uncle Tom
