Friday, October 16, 2015
Rising Again
The Election
“Explain it to them one more time, Smitty. But make
it simpler!”
That from a carrier by my back fence. “If that’s
possible,” added another.
Then they laughed, jostling the usual racist signs.
I had to explain nothing, not running this term,
Giving my slot to a black woman who was trying
this last time.
She proved the most amusing to them of any
possible candidate, and they called her Aunt
Jemima. They had a huge cardboard cutout
of the real one, and moved it around in
seething psychodramas.
When the results came in that evening, it floored
everyone. She won overwhelmingly.
I went into the Lions Den then, their HQ. It was glum,
and the jokes grittier. But I had to see the Police
Chief quickly. I really had no office or platform to
request it from, but asked politely for protection for her.
That, of course, amused him. “No arrests tonight,
and none expected. You gotta learn to relax.”
The best I could get was that they’d “keep an
eye on her--which will be easy because of her
girth.”
I phoned her with congratulations. “Worry not, Smitty.
Already hired three bodyguards. They look like walls
and are not known to laugh!” Then we laughed.
There WAS a murder that night, one of the carriers
taking out another.
The next day, the other party sent a DVD to the TV station
showing the destruction of the cardboard Aunt Jemima
by a bazooka-like weapon.
Cousin Jessy and Uncle Mac played it in an endless loop,
former announcing: “We’re still buying cars in all this
excitement!”
Uncle Mac adding: “And Frontier Dodge-Nissan’ll get
you from O to 60 before you even started out!”
Then the news informed that the FBI wanted a copy of the DVD.
"Frontier’ll sell ‘em that new humongous Hog-Wrangler
if they come here."
Cousin Jessy answered him, “Get the whole bureau
in one of them babies!”
Labels: Aunt Jemima, black woman, election, guns, open carry, Race, racist
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
At Aunt Jemima’s Quilting Party
she sent home Uncles Tom and Ben. Women only!
No Race Gal, she had invited Scarlet O’Hara and
Jeannie With the Light Brown Hair.
The former bored on and on concerning myths of
White Southern Womanhood!
The latter flitted about, bearing her hair. Jemima got
them down to quilting, though Scarlet insisted on
sitting on her lap.
Well, you couldn’t quilt that way, so Jemima placed
her among the blackest women.
Simon Legree came to the door to do his horrible thing.
He had been tasked with keeping an eye on all uncles.
Jemima, though, turned him away so fast his atrocious
head was spinning!
The chattering quilters were making so much noise
that nobody could think! Even drowning out the beaters
of the feet on the Mississippi mud outside!
Jemima shouted that the dancers were turning that mud
into concrete for Uncle Tom’s and Ben’s heads!
That proved the laugh of the night! Finally you couldn’t hear
the dancers, who, discouraged, quit. Save one who rapped:
De fat black broad gets uppity
n’ make de party for white hos.
Racist dick he come to doh,
look for de crazy uncles. He
try seeing all de tits,
and mean as catshit!
Jemima invited him in for catfish, but Jeannie with the Light
Brown Hair started her borne-vaporing again, distracting
everyone.
Scarlet retched about her lost dump of a house: “Plantation!”
Jemima laughed uproariously, and was particularly jolly to all!
Where will we find her like again? Old Black Joe, he done gone!
Labels: Aunt Jemima, Jeannie With the Light Brown Hair, Mississippi, Old Black Joe, quilting, Race, rap, Simon Legree, Uncle Ben, Uncle Tom
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Imagery of Structures
-Letzi says she won't be an Aunt Jemima!
-I can hear her. Does she do nothing quietly?
-Her boyfriend puts cotton in his ears, but
takes it out when they do it.
-More than I want to know. But, anyway, she's white.
-Last time I looked.
-So, what's with the Aunt...?
-Burks, in Shipping, is white, but they call him Uncle Tom.
-So this plantation imagery has invaded our fair firm?
-You could put it that way.
-What? If you're inarticulate?...if I read your tone. At any rate,
Max, I wonder if those terms don't fit SOME power structures.
But, not here!
-Nevah!
-Look, you're middle management and I , ahem, upper.
-Just the facts, Man.
-And yet we rib the shit out of each other playing softball.
No class crap here!
-None. Squat. Zip. Zilch. Zer-er-O!
-Right! Example of how things should be!
Mr Ralph leaves, and Heskey, the fresh intern, tells Max
-You're such a freakin Uncle Tom!
-Survival of the Flatter-ist.
-You gwine t’lunch? Ah be.
-Can’t eat with field hands.
-Yeah! Just with House Nig-
-You studying company handbook? If you come up
looking stupid, it’s MY ass gets burnt!
-Must you interrupt?...de-dupt, de-dupt, de-dupt?
Labels: Aunt Jemima, class, company politics, company structure, power, power relationships, Race, Uncle Tom
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Aunt Jemima, she join de union!
Rose the cry from
mud-stompers, so
colorfully dressed.
Above, the overseer:
“This will not stand! Bad
enough we still have ‘em, with-
out letting just anyone join! Even
they,” he pointed down, “could
try manifesting some class.”
Labels: Aunt Jemima, Race, Union
Wednesday, February 08, 2012
Something Done at Board Meeting
“It's my outfit,” finally laughed Aunt Jemima,
“and I've a few things to say. Cease and desist
your Power-Point, Attorney Smerge!
And Tear down this chart! Mr Goring-Chuff.”
“It's my outfit,” finally laughed Aunt Jemima,
“and I've a few things to say. Cease and desist
your Power-Point, Attorney Smerge!
And Tear down this chart! Mr Goring-Chuff.”
Labels: Aunt Jemima, board, Power-Point
