Friday, April 07, 2017

 

Not Ever Getting Old


Budgey never objected to his
title of Errand Boy, though
almost forty.

But Mr Delser did. When he
took over, Personal Messenger

bestowed.

It was sensed in the small
company, then, that most of
the teasing should cease:
the standard stuff about
not having a girlfriend etc.

Budgey got famous in New Haven,
though, not for his new title, but
because he was attacked shortly
thereafter by a maniac at Church
and Chapel at High Noon.

Beaten with his leather bag,
then with his Converse sneaker.
In front of an attentive crowd.

Last, this maniac, Nels Nelsomer,
wrestled down jeans and jockeys,
and attempted to ram the sneaker into
rectum.

All the while screaming of Puerto Ricans!

At that point, the police arrived, macing
and clubbing the agitated nut into Catatonia.

Mr Delser ordered Budge to take a week off.

When he returned, all his recipients
sympathized, but after a few weeks began
teasing him on the girlfriend matter again.

Then, a development! When Budgey testified
at a preliminary hearing as the State tried
to avoid a trial and stow Nutty Nils into
a facility for the criminally insane, Defense
produced a blurry tape purportedly showing
Budgey eating at the same Lighthouse Point
hot dog emporium as Nils.

Then by a startling leap of logic: the men
had become acquainted, the whole business
blossoming into a romance, etc.

The assault actually a lover's quarrel!

 

The State had enough of this nonsense, and
didn't even bother proving that the red
and blue messenger bag shown in fuzzy
closeup belonged to A1 Business Expediters,
and not Budgey.

The attorneys conferred and agreed on Nils
becoming a lifelong guest at the Quinnipiac
Retreat. In the Criminal Wing, but that
did not have to be publicized.

Unfortunately for Budgey, the homosexual
angle stuck, and he was teased about it daily.
Sometimes ingeniously.

As an example:

-Where there’s smoke, there’s fire!

-That’d be mire.

-As in muck and...?

-Wheels within wheels in the preponderance
of Queer Business!


His renewed outrage and affront being
funny always. Never getting old!

The police had asked, by the way, if they
could keep the evidence sneaker for their
museum.

He concurred, dollar entrance fee waived
for him in perpetuity.

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