Wednesday, August 12, 2015
What Darlene Thinks
Lifetime Cruise
Refurbished and all suites. Taking the old
super rich farts to ancient sites, along with a
battalion of Four Star Hotel Chefs.
High on the proverbial hog! And enough champagne
to float the damn ship!
But week in, everybody got sick. Then the crew
did too. Debilitated.
Then all died. Legionaires’ Disease suspected.
From the A/C.
Coast Guard sent a Hazmat Team to clean up,
another to guide it to a port. And to pathologists.
Twenty First Century Ghost Ship!
The wealthy ones’ adult children have already
been refunded.
As if that’d stop the lawsuits!
Chief Betts to Chief Anders, handlers, departing
the bridge when finally there:
-I’m wondering: Why can’t they clean a ship?
I mean really clean!
-Why can’t they clean anything?
-What’s this? Alexandria?
-At least our odds are better home.
-And IT’S filthy too!
-What will Darlene think when you try to
make love in your hazmat suit?
-What she always thinks.
Labels: .Legionaires' Disease, Alexandria, Coast Guard, cruise, Hazmat, making love, wealthy
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Risks of Modern Life
“Usually get sold in pairs. Up to you. Fine then! The deuce
will do it! Your profile shows Mazda SUV. Better yet! Calders
will carry them out, and get them in that locked compartment
back there. Overcautious? Why look for trouble?”
But Flip forgot to tell Glad when they exchanged cars, and
he took the Altima for state inspection to Hoppy's Garage.
Back from the appointment only to find squad cars and a Hazmat
Team, plus five officers carrying automatic rifles. And Glad inside
the house shrieking “Green Ooze! I can’t get the stink off!”
The Captain pulls up, siren and multitudinous blinking lights,
white, blue, red. Siren spinning down to a ticking. Lights dim.
His red face seems to pulse then.
"Isn't all of this overkill?" Flip shouts, waving both arms.
"Not in our experience."
Labels: emergency, Hazmat, police, strange purchase
