Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Played Out
The Big Exhaustion
When Smitty caught The Big Exhaustion, he stayed home and
watched familiar reruns. Soon he switched off the TV and
recited the scripts by heart.
Then, he rewrote them until they morphed into entirely different
shows. Thus, Gilligan’s Island became Mother Knows Worst.
At any rate, he amused himself. Those who didn't passed.
But there were no funerals because the undertakers had BE also.
Just about nobody went to work, though he tried again and again.
Luckily, his automated train kept running. But when he did finally
get to the office, he was alone mid computers all set to search
The Big Exhaustion. No cure, of course, regardless of the health
whackos and their exotic juices. Others averred you’d need gold
bars to buy your way to care.
Those juices abandoned at the office were tasty enough, but useless.
When Dilly Hotz managed to make it in, long dormant thoughts
visited him.
And her. But, no go. Both just tired out of their minds.
They lost track of each other when dogs invaded the company and
ate the envelopes.
It took him two days to walk home through empty streets because
the train just stopped and no one could stir to repair it.
Now only the Southern Stupid shows played on TV, and he proved
too finished to try rewriting their drivel.
So, he turned off the sound and just watched the girls.
Banners across the bottom of the screen announced the authorities
were trying to meet.
Also that The Big Exhaustion had simply quit New Zealand.
And people swarmed the streets and lanes!
America's turn would come. Heading our way!
Hawaii sparked up soon after. Aloha Moments everywhere.
He smashed into the 7-11. Took hours, and only Rice Crispies
remained.
His farts smelled like rice, but it wasn’t all that bad.
Finally, Smitty relented and rewrote the Southern Stupid shows
as Travelogues For Morons. He called it his Southern Strategy.
When NFL took over every channel to replay Bruk Utzler receiving
Lineman of the Week around 2000, Smitty did a video awarding
himself Weak Man of the Line.
Then he pondered: Had Dumbing-Down been the first condition
allowing The Big Exhaustion to take root?
All large questions on hold as The Big Exhaustion suddenly ceases!
Laughter everywhere, and people screaming at their kids!
Smitty decides to do parodies of his parodies, knowing that
never works.
Labels: cynicism, dumb down, entertainment, exhaustion, NFL, parody, Southern, Southern Strategy, TV, video, working, writing
Friday, March 02, 2012
Insidious Minions
force the close
of the only toe
emporium in Duluth.
In truth, minister, padre,
rabbi and inman had
chipped in scathing verse.
T Hee, proprietor, calls it
an experience and
Paula’s Precious Pets grabs the spot.
Hee theorizes was his emphasis on
the whole toe, rather than just the nail,
doomed him. Moves the voluptuous lot
to Atlanta. At The Riled Cat, Bailey-O
orates: "His Southern Strategy. Desiring
to see the freakin sun
more than ten days a year!"
Labels: Duluth, nail salon, public pressure, Southern Strategy
Saturday, April 03, 2010
During Early TV
linguistic theory
evolved stating
regional speech
would die out,
supplanted by
all talking like
the national news.
Didn’t happen. One can
still hear the Southern
Strategy of wil-
ful ignorance
for one. Other truly lout-
ish accents unlike mine.
Labels: accent, linguistics, regional, Southern Strategy
