Thursday, June 23, 2022
Commercial Baseball
Tonight highlights
the requisite
number of players, 9,
attempting to re-
semble themselves
being roles. It's
give&take,
feel&fake.
An interview post-
abstracted error proves
vaguely contrite.
(Thence to tart selves
beside these.)
Fans go insane, leap electric-
ally at clearer happenings.
A loud drive off the bat
cannot be snared, departs,
thus, the demarcated field.
This proves noisier yet for
your fortunate team. Poor
for the other bunch, gimlet-
ing overlong as haughty gesture
of futility. & so what
do YOU do?
Fraud with More Rules?
& which takes greater
time?...if anything
does, to drop thee
of any proper absence
feigning authenticity.
Anyway, forget present
for timing’s precedent,
the replay coming
so very simply,
before itself. Its nice pre-
cision surpassing
the original, just, for
Science maintains Hence
as Must. Of course,
any awakening fits.
Labels: appearance and reality, awakening, Baseball, Commercialism, reality, replay, sequence, timing, TV
Monday, July 09, 2018
Fey-Gay Cooking?
He has packed the small box with his knives and measuring spoons and a few books.
Pops in Producer then.
“Why did you pack? Did I TELL you to?” She seems angry, as if he didn’t wait for her solid final word.
Then she holds up Variety.
FEY GAY COOKING SHOWS REBOUND!
“Might wanna add to that dinky box for a new two-year run!”
Complains to longtime girl bud, Mary Kane, that evening.
Who told him we let others decide!
“Our story!--though got a job again at any rate.”
“Fey? Do you see fey in me?”
“Nope. I see--excuse the expression--masculine. And down-home funny!”
“And gay?”
“One out of two ain’t bad!”
“Am I to show a lot of ballpark food, so I’m not over-poopy-precious?”
“Good! Patent some greasy horror and
get rich! Then fey, not fey? Who gives
a shit? Above the battle so with do-re-me!”
“Never. Sadly, never.”
“Oh well! They tootle, we dance! So WHAT? You’re still yourself!”
“And that’s not much!”
“Your pals gratefully take it!”
Labels: Cooking Show, fey, friends, gay, hierarchy, power, TV
Thursday, July 05, 2018
Soon enough
a new cliche
of woman int-
terviewing another.
On facing stools,
legs the optics.
Until shoes--of
hostess, black pumps
pleading overmuch
for simplicity;
of guest, Medieval-
ly-strapped entities.
Assert themselves
past mere event.
And even in this leap,
TV!Labels: interview, TV, women, women's shoes
Sunday, June 03, 2018
How Jack Became Jock
Personnel screw-up!
Mr Doddings begs him not to blow the whistle.
“No Harm No Foul!” Then, suddenly dies.
New guy, Dr Chalice, ever-flustered, doesn't want to hear about it. Literally runs when it’s even mentioned!
Anyway, years pass, and no one misses Jack.
No wonder. There’s only one Jock!
Who marries, has three confectionery
daughters with his Millie.
His Millie! So very petite.
They sing as Jock’s Wee Lassies.
He conducts in greenest Kilt and immense Tam O’ Shanter.
(Instructed not to powder reddest nose
in America!)
Come in second on TALENT AMIDST US!
Fix in.
Start to finish for Brenda’s Amazing Dogs.
Brenda all but naked in provoking
sharp barks.
Labels: bureaucracy, competition, Family, identity, reality TV, Show Business, talent, TV
Tuesday, February 20, 2018
Talk At a Cold Time
-Watched The Olympics?
-Yes! Very large moving color!
-That last is the sport component.
-Hadn’t noticed.
-Oh? No difference between Ice Dancing and Curling?
-It’s TV.
-Uh huh? And TV subsumes it all?
-Plus itself.
-Aren’t we just back to the ridiculously dated MEDIUM IS THE MESSAGE?
-No medium, no message.
-Nothing then?
-Chromatic!
-Chromatic Nihilism then?
-It...removes one by enveloping.
-You must get out more!
Labels: sport, theory, TV, winter, Winter Olymics
Sunday, January 21, 2018
The Woman Who Regulated Her Passions
-And was reduced thereby to an animal
scraping out sexual crusts from filth?
-Not a bit of it. Stayed in control.
-Crap! Where’s the story there?
-That’s the beauty of it! There is none.
-You’re such a bore!
-Just by presenting life to you?
-I don’t want life. I want horny housewives.
Of Dallas, St Paul, Omaha. Life is shit!
-Nothing beats horny housewives for
TOTAL shit!
-You find the league you like to bat in, you
remain with the team.
-I can do self-disgust on my own.
-Be my guest!
Labels: Housewives Series, passion, popularity, sex, TV, TV Ratings, women
Sunday, October 22, 2017
Once “Famous”
Generally, he wanted to be left alone, but
when dying, the adult children started
paying attention.
Some of these in media, and they
talked around.
Soon TV grabbed it, making
buses come.
He was repeatedly asked for wisdom.
Shrugged and muttered.
Commentators revealed what he meant.
Enough being enough, hired a proxy.
Tricky, since he felt that man also must be
near death etc.
They have lunch weekly, looking like
decayed brothers.
Laugh at pseudo philosophy proxy slings.
Labels: death, dying, exploitation, fame, media, proxy, TV, wisdom, wisdom of elders
Tuesday, December 13, 2016
Ratings
-Some TV fan site gives a “Female Masturbation Warning”
for Fleabag.
-Oh? I hope she’s not TOO into that.
-Needs vaguely significant other?
-Or hobby.
Labels: fan, female, Fleabag, masturbation, rating, significant other, TV
Friday, November 18, 2016
M-F
-I like the women in Perry Mason. All trussed up
in mannish suits, yet radiating sex!
-You mean unlike the Technicolor Slatterns of today?
-You’re saying it, not me. Besides, there are male
slatterns too!
-We call them Pigs!
Labels: Perry Mason, sex, slattern, Technicolor, TV
Tuesday, November 01, 2016
The man who knew little else
often fell back on his
five favorite subjects.
Then one day he forgot
even them.
He didn't panic, having seen
similar in his older friends
at the diner.
Stayed in his room a week
and studied five new subjects.
Acutally, one wasn't new, but
he didn't know it.
Off to the diner, then with a sort of
unwritten diploma he granted himself.
He did well in disputes when he steered
the discussion to one of his expert areas.
Especially well in Baseball Statistics,
American League--no wonder, it was one
of his old subjects.
Lumpy Osgood, cameraman, heard him one
morning and told Hasgood Hetterly of
Good Morning Muncie!
Who had him on.
Now, Hasgood brought everything softly
around to sex–-this showbiz “edge” made
suitable to Hoosiers.
Impossible with our scholar since he knew
absolutely nothing in that area.
He threw out many baits but our chum
recited the batting averages of players of
Ukrainian origin.
“Don't ever tout me anyone like that again!”
Hasgood later cautioned Cameraman Lumpy.
Labels: argument, Baseball, diner, eccentrics, favorite subjects, sex, TV
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
Rutabagas Are Constant Numbers
-This saying what you please
when you please didn’t
start with Trump.
-Chaos!
-It has always announced
that it’s all a joke anyway,
so? What’s the difference?
-Life is Trash TV where nothing
connects? Nihilism up the bung hole!
-My first wife is the sick benchmark!
-But you escaped her sane!
-Rutabagas Are Constant Numbers
Labels: chaos, Nihilism, reality show, surrealism, Trump, TV
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Historical Moment
Hopskip blurted out “Dermotty
Q. Dinslow and Badger!”
The answer to the Championship
Question of The Greatest International
Trivia Contest Ever!
“Entertainer of the Year in the same month
he was convicted of Bestiality with which
animal?”
Ole Hopskip never received his Crown
because The Moral Army broke through
the barricades and slaughtered everyone!
General White merely muttering “Some down,
Lifetime to go!”
Labels: bestiality, future, intolerance, morality, religion, trivia, TV, vengeance
Saturday, February 06, 2016
A Short History of American Manufacturing
“Do it THIS vay!” insisted the Swede,
so Chuckie and I did. For years.
Then the Swede died and his brother
came for his tools.
We quarreled then. Chuckie stood
with the dead Swede, and I for myself.
So I did it my way, and Chuckie, the Swede's.
It got ugly. And silly. So much so that
we expected Management to intervene.
They didn't because they didn't care.
The products shipped as they were.
But they eventually made a decision!
To outsource the manufacturing to a
robotic factory in Mexico.
But Chuckie and I weren't out. We both
play the Swede in our display at Industry
World.
Have gotten a bit famous. Me on TV, and he on
Facebook and other social media.
The robots make absolute crap.
So much so that management has decided
to give the products away, and has installed
a monster service facility in our old factory here.
That way the customer ends up paying much more.
The Required Service Contract a Master Gouge!
Admired world-wide.
Chuckie and I laugh about how our lives have
turned into lies.
The Swede’s brother put up his tools on Ebay
so we bought them for the act.
“No Biz like Show etc!” twitters Chuckie to.
his thousands of followers!
But I’m not jealous, since my agent has just
nailed me down the role of Pepsi Grandfather.
Labels: Ebay, Facebook, management, Mexico, outsourcing, Pepsi, robot, social media, TV, work
Tuesday, December 01, 2015
Gone Commercial
Two Males Fathom It Inside the Golden Ring
-We don’t hafta talk like this!
-You mean like an endless loop of a brainless
TV commercial?
-Oh I’m so EXCITED! To think that a PRODUCT...!
-Was it ingested, applied, or shoved up your ass?
-All three at once! Then one rides off in a SEXFIRE-8!
-We can escape. Our wives did.
-Left with men sans vocabulary.
-They’ll see the light!
-They don’t want the light. Not what they wanted.
What they ever want.
-But, we’re clever!-–within the limits of the perpetual
commercial we’re locked into, of course.
-If we stay here, we’ll receive other women.
-Approved ones?
-What else?
-But you get tired of hearing the bullshit repeated and
amplified by them!
-I thought they were all Feminists, and therefore...
-That died. MONEY too against it.
-We’ll just leave. Defy tradition!
-Oops! I better get this call. Oh, just a text. “Don’t even
THINK about it!”
-We MUST stay?
-Oh well, there’ll be other and greater commercials.
And funnier!
-Can’t wait? Uh, can I wait?
-We both can and must, and we’ll be loved for it!
-By women?
-A succession, and as sexy as products!
Labels: commercial, commercial trap, feminism, product, sexy ad, TV, TV commercial
Monday, October 05, 2015
Too Late To Escape
Smitty never got too far from the prison, the warden’s
brother in the next town putting him to work in his
hardware store.
Ten years had passed since his discharge, so he
became a good sport when the mayor of the prison
town asked him to join the celebration as it closed.
Actually, was to be the world’s largest pajama party, but
he signed on only for the interview on Good Morrow, Y’all.
There, Hoak and Betsy ran him through their conservative-liberal
shticks. Both wanted gloomy remembrances of the prison, but
he talked of the warden’s children playing hopscotch outside
his cell, and his wife bringing a comforter from the house when
Smitty got the flu.
Thereupon Hoak sneered of coddling, and Betsy launched into a
sermonette on rehabilitation.
At the break, Hoak whispered, “More Cagney, less Morgan Freeman.”
They showed pictures when back on the air of the last huge pajama
party at Edinburgh Castle. Dour Scots for the most part, but their
women charmingly swimming in men’s pajamas.
They had a clip, too, of a Guinness Man who wouldn’t commit, but
thought it was likely that their pajama party would edge out Edinburg’s.
When Betsy pressed Smitty about going, he told the pair he had to get
back to Cat Felix.
Thereupon, in the only spontaneous minute that show had ever seen,
he produced a snap of Felix from his wallet.
“White with the one black eye,” laughed Hoak.
Gushed Betsy “He’d be my cutie-patootie!”
Later, Spotlight columnist, See-All, commented “Cat steals show
from usual political squabblers!”
The mayor’s dithery man brought him to the bus, first showing
off the new, glitzy shopping center. The bright liquor store therein
had lousy security, so Smitty boosted a fifth of Seagram’s Seven.
Labels: cat, Conservative, liberal, prison, prisoner, rehabilitation, talk show, TV
Sunday, October 04, 2015
The Special Guest
-They call me Del, since I was manufactured in Delaware.
-Okay, Del, is there anything you want especially to do?
-Whatever YOU do is the intent of the program, but
anything more you desire to know about me is on
my website.
-Glimpse a bit of TV? Robot Games are on from Sydney.
-Please don’t make the mistake of thinking everything
I like is robo-centric. Important for me to learn more
and more of human things.
-Do you like the pajamas? My Aunt Millie’s Christmas
Gift, but over-flashy for me.
-I think they’re absolutely super! Just beautiful! They...
jump the light around.
-Cindy made these brownies before she left for her
neighborhood meeting. Do...you eat?
-Oh yes! I’m programmed to eat and just love it!
But...brownies? They’re not...?
-Called blond brownies. Light variety.
-Fine for me. I can digest anchor chains anyway. Cindy...is
sweet, isn’t she? I talked to her when they dropped me off.
After a minute, disabling my Irony Detector. Which I use
for ninety percent of human conversations.
-You can leave It off here. Not that we don’t laugh, but we
see life clearly enough to not need much wit, especially of
the sarcastic variety.
-Well, my memory is deficient of straightforward individuals.
I must interchange with Cindy as much as possible.
-Recommend it. But I could get jealous!
-A joke! You made one! Although it’s not your genre, you
must teach me what you know.
-Not a problem.
-I’m reading Mark Twain and Dickens and Shakespeare as we speak.
-The well-rounded robot.
-Yes...uh is that a joke too?
-Half a one.
-Subtle. Learning the subtleties is difficult. Oh excuse me for
laughing now: Tom Sawyer is such a romantic little circuitous fool!
-I don’t remember.
-You need a Memory Freshener. Stick in two electrodes and you’re
good to go!
-Do you think they’ll eventually make everybody robots?
-I’m not to say it, but that’s the plan. But so what? Cindy will be as
sweet and...
-I as square?
-Precisely!
Labels: human, irony, Irony Detector, memory, robot, Robot Games, robotics, Sarcasm Detector, Tom Sawyer, TV
Friday, September 18, 2015
May you live in interesting times!*
Go Figure
-Did you catch the Republican debate?
-Decayed hobbyhorses and disgraceful
insults!
-That immediate? They’re the past.
-I’m not into depravity. Fast or slow.
-Or old? Anyway, I think it’s mostly the genre.
Not a debate or forum or...?
-It’s TV!
-Yikes! That?
-In its purest shape.
-That is, shapeless.
-How can anyone vote for it?
*Chinese curse
Labels: insult, Party of Rich, Republican, Republican Debate, TV
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Played Out
The Big Exhaustion
When Smitty caught The Big Exhaustion, he stayed home and
watched familiar reruns. Soon he switched off the TV and
recited the scripts by heart.
Then, he rewrote them until they morphed into entirely different
shows. Thus, Gilligan’s Island became Mother Knows Worst.
At any rate, he amused himself. Those who didn't passed.
But there were no funerals because the undertakers had BE also.
Just about nobody went to work, though he tried again and again.
Luckily, his automated train kept running. But when he did finally
get to the office, he was alone mid computers all set to search
The Big Exhaustion. No cure, of course, regardless of the health
whackos and their exotic juices. Others averred you’d need gold
bars to buy your way to care.
Those juices abandoned at the office were tasty enough, but useless.
When Dilly Hotz managed to make it in, long dormant thoughts
visited him.
And her. But, no go. Both just tired out of their minds.
They lost track of each other when dogs invaded the company and
ate the envelopes.
It took him two days to walk home through empty streets because
the train just stopped and no one could stir to repair it.
Now only the Southern Stupid shows played on TV, and he proved
too finished to try rewriting their drivel.
So, he turned off the sound and just watched the girls.
Banners across the bottom of the screen announced the authorities
were trying to meet.
Also that The Big Exhaustion had simply quit New Zealand.
And people swarmed the streets and lanes!
America's turn would come. Heading our way!
Hawaii sparked up soon after. Aloha Moments everywhere.
He smashed into the 7-11. Took hours, and only Rice Crispies
remained.
His farts smelled like rice, but it wasn’t all that bad.
Finally, Smitty relented and rewrote the Southern Stupid shows
as Travelogues For Morons. He called it his Southern Strategy.
When NFL took over every channel to replay Bruk Utzler receiving
Lineman of the Week around 2000, Smitty did a video awarding
himself Weak Man of the Line.
Then he pondered: Had Dumbing-Down been the first condition
allowing The Big Exhaustion to take root?
All large questions on hold as The Big Exhaustion suddenly ceases!
Laughter everywhere, and people screaming at their kids!
Smitty decides to do parodies of his parodies, knowing that
never works.
Labels: cynicism, dumb down, entertainment, exhaustion, NFL, parody, Southern, Southern Strategy, TV, video, working, writing
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Art in the Modern World...
or something
-I’m Literature here!
Thus proclaims Clance.
-Well you better figure out what the fuck you’re doing?
All mixed up with bits and megs, and wondering where
to pander--if just TV.
-A confusing time, of course, but read my poems.
-Why?
-Cuz you can’t stop asking what is it,
instead of just making a visit.
-We ain’t got time!
Labels: art, artist, computer, Literature, poet, poetry, TV
Friday, April 24, 2015
The Existence of the Chinese Palindrome
“Is there even such a a thing?” asks Marcy Chang of
Hong Kong TV, after A man, a plan, a canal--Panama!
Mr ‘Mystery’ replied by smiling. He proved more forthcoming
about the other mottos and proverbs lining his wall.
He translated the one in Spanish to English and to Chinese.
He who is bent on revenge should dig two graves.
“Are there any fun ones?”
“Not really. Some quite grim, but most inspirational in the
American style.”
Every day in every way I'm getting better and better!
Her audience liked that sort of thing the best, so she
pressed sweetly.
But Mr Mystery said that proverb very nearly ended
his life. He had destroyed a previous room because of
his inability to live up to it.
“That much passion! If you'll excuse my saying so, you
don't look...”
“There had been some drinking.”
“And is there now?”
“None! A day at a time.”
“Are you AA?”
“No, but Mr Mystery is.”
A fire in Kowloon, so Marcy had to wrap it up.
Labels: AA, Chinese, English, Hong Kong, Kowloon, palindrome, provrb, saying, Spanish, TV
