Sunday, June 05, 2016
Learning the Game
-Markey is responsible, but it gets weird.
-Gentry girl?
-You heard?
-He claimed papahood.
-She didn’t know who he was!
-Rap and I decided that being that sick
meant terrifically lonely. So we put him
on the ginmill softball team.
-How’d that work out?
-Since he’s brilliant, the theoretical part
of the game gets grasped. But has no
athletic skills. None!
-His parents like the first part: quarter mil to MIT!
But...hafta throw him off team?
-Harp Costello used to be assistant baseball coach at Oney High? Took him on as a project. Hours!
-Pretty good now?
-Not bad! But he truly shines in the apres game! When we lift our flabby arms to fill our hollow legs with beer.
-AND inhale Bent Jo-Jo’s four-inch thick bloody cheeseburgers?
-Mais oui! fellow gourmet.
-With raw onion?
-All the girls are the raw onion!
-And is Markey shy in the face of such overt femininity?
-Takes a different one home every night!
-Sounds to me like you’ve added an ir before responsibility?
-Beautifully!
-It’s a Class Thing.
-Several classes, though.
-Just one in THAT dive!
Labels: beer, class, dive, dive bar, nonathletic, romantic temperament, softball, women
Saturday, August 30, 2014
Loves and Marathons
Opal and Carrie
O
I just left the dankness of his living tomb.
C
What was that like?
O
Dying, flat and cold, not warmed-over. Icy!
C
Add him to the defunct list!
O
Have we alphabetized yet?
C
I had an Aaron.
O
First in your heart, also?
C
Hell of a body at any rate. Professional Athlete.
O
Marriage considered?
C
Yeah, but his wife wouldn't let him.
O
Leave us move, then, to my Allard. Dedicated cell
phone to Mother. She called constantly. During our
love and kisses once, she offered me love and kisses.
Turned, like, everything off in sex department.
C
Shall we go on?
O
Nah! Too boring! Let's do a crappy soap opera
marathon. Weed, beer, monster hoagies.
Farting slobs in the worst of it.
C
Like the guys! Except for the stink. Why are all the good
ones taken?
O
Bribed.
C
Thus not Men of Honor anyway?
O
Where YOU been? At any stupid rate, let’s order up
Pride and Price. Every episode, chaos. One time
a so-called actor said. “I think I really hate you, Carl.”
C
And the other said “YOU’RE Carl! I’m Maxey!”
O
Idiot actors and twisted loves! All directed by morons!
C
Like life itself?
O
Amen!
Labels: beer, chaos, girltalk, hoagies, soap opera, soap opera marathon, twisted love, weed
Thursday, September 13, 2012
“It's not bitter, not sweet.
It's a star-spangled treat.”
The patriotism of beer
needs go unchallenged,
a universal. The putzes
in Munich burned so
with stricken ambition
to quickly remake the world
and opposing faces, yet their
sodden crusade highlighted
an expiration date in
a thousand years! As
the languid scholar asked
of Hamlet, “How’d that
come out anyway?”
Our vacant young portrayed by
brewing commercials are all
carpe diem. They challenge
button-downs with happily
slapdash horseplay, like
self-conscious orphans
anxious for adoption.
Labels: beer, beer commercials, Nazi, patriotism
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Tap of 2 Cities
Had a Stella Artois (arrr-twaaa)
in Claremont, CA. Perhaps the pre-
eminent location for this arch brew.
In New Orleans (nawlins) you’d skip
the Artois and settle for Stella.
For urgency and literature. (Stelll-
AHHHH!)
Labels: beer, Claremont, New Orleans
