All Over the Place

The Trees

In Athens the great connoisseurs
of female loveliness weigh in

sparsely at sidewalk tables o-
ver virile coffee. They gaze

judiciously before making
considered comment.

German and French women
pass this rigorous test.
As do Danes and Swedes.

Americans get dis-
missed as “trees.”

I doubt heroin chic’s
defunct in The Apple. Even

so, you’d think the cops
on rag trade beat’d date
a model or two. Some do.

Others ride bikes
on Ragbrai, across,
of all places, Iowa.

And after a while, marry corn-
fed daughters of farmers, no
joke. These are beautiful.

Repeat, beautiful!

Force Feeding@Guantanimo

Brits did to jailed Suffragette
hunger strikers & I say

good enough for rich
old English broads then...

Treatise

Hey! Chick Flicks are fine
but it's their shit.

If y’hafta pretend while
squirming, she’s better

off with a broad, crying to-
gether while the AWFUL con-

flict gets quadruple-milked.
We'll shoot pool.

Cable Co Ditches Directory Channel

for The Word. Preacher froth-
mouths down...finally,
choir spreads celestial butter.

Next,Preacher 2,of awful-
ly sweet faith. All of

it,passion-butter-sugar,aimed
at stanching queers & snuf-
fing ragtops & abortion sluts.

What would Jesus do? Why,act Re-
publican,usher moneychangers back
into the temple. Actually,

much of New Testament needs
revision: reason for 2d Coming.

New-infused scribes’ll get it
Right: Christianity is Capitalism.

Revenging Farce*

Insist, again, on righteousness,
eyes fastening. Next time, cowards
laugh, trusting there’s an end of it. Bide

your hallowed space & then: eviscerate mid-
dance—it’s your bounden duty. In melee,

other dancers pitch and fall, thus, collateral
benefits of lust.


*History repeats itself: first as tragedy, then as farce. –Marx, others

Three farmers meet for coffee

knowing what they know. Through
hint and understatement, they
file it Iowa cold. In

more apparent tone, three
Manhattan friends convene, their

chatter terribly keen,
yet reassuring. Both

surround everything, so, ques-
tion, then, of style. Each

laughs at the other: The Comedy of
Manners historical, ongoing, always
following the turf.

System Works

You murder your wife and the nasty-minded cops know it. Nonetheless you help with searching, and drive boy scouts around to put up posters.

Add crying on TV, interviewer Wendy Wertz leading you tenderly.

You inwardly muse, while looking with Rotarians, how this dogshit area really does resemble the one where you deposited her under trash and rusty, corrugated tin.

Never found, but you're tried anyway.

Prosecution stages a bimbo parade.

Your lawyer counters that you're not on trial for being a bad altar boy, but for murder. Beyond a reasonable doubt! he hammers. You grow to love the phrase.

Her parents think you did it, but they're snivelers anyway. Since they can’t speak a word without sobbing, even talk show hosts reject them.

At any moment, a minimum of two jurors will sleep under the weight of the circumstantial evidence.

You smile at the panel or cry, depending on signals from your attorney. His behavior itself is against the law. Much breaking of the law at trials–fortunately curtailed when the rare judge rouses to pay minimal attention.

After the verdict you explode into shuddering sobs, which may even be real. Then you hug anyone not repelled.

You tell the cameras and blinding lights that your nightmare is finally over, and that everyone, however innocent, is in danger from overzealous prosecutors. Now the police, you sneer, can get after the real...

The male prosecutor won’t speak; the female sobs. Bimbos have fled, but unlimited supply.

Your mother and father are wiped out with the attorney fees, but what the fuck, they're ancient anyway.

No good comes from anything like this, you tell Lucille, barkeep at The Carousel. She's secretly grateful that such a good tipper won't be put to death.

You put a C-note on the Lakers.

Your lawyer’s beefy face fills all the TVs there. The system works! he informs Margo Gellerham, new Channel 6 anchor.

They switch to Father Morrisey, spiritual advisor to wife’s parents: God will ultimately judge.

You scrabble up to give him the finger, starting from near the floor and ending over your head. That felt good! you tell Lucille, ask if it’s too late to double the bet.

You will get to more freely strut when, at a press conference arranged by the newly-elected district attorney one year later, a jailed drifter confesses!

In addition, he is Jesus Christ and must be bathed by virgins.

In a quiet deal with church leaders, latter pronouncement squelched by all outlets. They already had a prominent minister cited in a husband’s divorce complaint detailing a rotational game played at a choir convention.

The drifter is ultimately convicted and refuses to appeal. He is sure he’ll sit in God’s lap.

Your personal appeal (“The Christian”--Journal-Sentinel editorial anoints you) is later turned down by the governor.

Asked to join picketers outside the execution, you do, but just long enough to announce a run for Congress. Mystifying them, and embittering further, if possible, your old prosecutors.

The following night you agree with Matts Rundeist of Fox News that America is the greatest nation on the face of the earth.

Our earlobes flare

out from the skull.
How you can tell us.

When we go home, some
exclaim Oh it's Ear-Wings!
A thousand welcomes!

Others sneer Fuckin low-life
despicable Ear-Wings
better watch your backs!

Our earlobes flare

out from the skull.
How you can tell us.

When we go home, some
exclaim Oh it's Ear-Wings!
A thousand welcomes!

Others sneer Fuckin low-life
despicable Ear-Wings
better watch your backs!

Our earlobes flare

out from the skull.
How you can tell us.

When we go home, some
exclaim Oh it's Ear-Wings!
A thousand welcomes!

Others sneer Fuckin low-life
despicable Ear-Wings
better watch your backs!

Understanding Gasoline Prices. A Dialog.

EXECUTIVE
You’re talking about a business of multitudinous complexities
and staggering uncertainties. “Gouging” accusations, therefore,
are too off-base and too simple-minded to even begin to answer.

CITIZEN
God it feels cold back there! You've not only lifted my wallet
but sliced off the rear pocket! And while you’ve talked!

EXECUTIVE
Efficiency.

Classic Explanation

of high prices, gas.
The Invisible Hand
goes right up your...

Annals of Capitalism, Chapter 1,000,027

/Man I don't know why I didn't get me a website before this. You can fuck people triple-raw all over this great land.

//My son showed it to me. Lying in a thousand colors.

/Let's not get too realistic. We also deliver a service. Expensive, but a service nonetheless.

//Uh huh. And how are you planning to give it to me?

/Well, you're the only mover on my list down there and...

//Hey! last guy was pain in the ass. College Professor. And he had a shitload of stuff! Paintings and rocks he called sculpture. I told him eleven hundred gas surcharge. He said what? To go seven blocks? I said do I come into your classroom and tell you how to teach?

/Hey! I like that. Try to do that to a plumber and he'd drop a rusty water heater on your head.

//Professor got nothing but talk! He paid up.

/Bingo! In Sucker's Hall of Fame, those guys get a golden room. Anyway, this job is pretty small. 3 thou flat for you. That's as high as I can go. But they got antiques, so 2 thou for special handing on your end, plus the gas. You should end up with 6 thousand.

//What you end up with?

/That's a little secret. You wanna get your own web site?

//I guess I'll probably take the job. Tell me more.

/Just a bungalow, move fifteen miles to new condo overlooking dump. Old lady and pansy son. Get on his good side and you can put it up his ass literally.

//We leave the fancy fucking to city people.

/By the way, you represent Certified Estimate Movers now. They prepaid, and not a penny more! Guaranteed! Until you refuse to unload, of course.

/The professor says he's gonna write a letter.

//Let him. Usually a bluff. But if some official comes to see me, I send him away happy.

//Boy! You're a big crook! I'm just a little...

/Never forget that, and money will fall from the skies.

//A miracle! Thank you Jesus!

/Ain't it? Makes me feel like warm pee all over!

Location

Well we got some red-ass rubes! I mean they'd whack off in public if they could. And some have tried.

We're still rural, and many have scratched awake with the hogs after wild nights.

Scandals and love triangles? Like anybody else, Park Avenue or Pig Hollow. But no fancy divorce trials or lawyers here.
It's handled, period. Two-thirds of participants turn around and catch a bullet.

And the shooter not brought to justice...since he got it on his own. Economy.

Yeah it's racial too! Most black people just shake their heads and move on. Good luck to them somewhere else!

Hell we got good people too! Churchy old folks. So, don't get me wrong!

And even the lowest good ole boy can often do a shockingly moral thing. Makes you really wonder how-all God works!
Majority still have pretty spotty record, of course.

But, I’ll tell you in confidence, only one among all of them’d truly screw a snake. And he's in Congress.

In Truly Perfect Service

When wealth,only,
drives,rest of us,

curbside,wave or
salute. Not hard

to stomach for
they deserve it,be-
sides it’s the law.

Some numbnuts kick a-
gainst the pricks so we

have a ticket to ride
and break some heads!

“Jackson’s Bare Breast Lights Up CBS Switchboard”*

Well, that’s an image, actual-
ly I skip halftime spectacles.
They’re trash, especially

Super Bowls. A local kid, liked
the ones at Yale games. Parody,
the band guys crashing

into cheesy sets and mang-
ling dumb props. They
were drunk, of course.

*GOPUSA

The Universe Is Random

Some say.
It may be so

random, it’s ordered.
Like baseball, after

you hit the winning
homerun, team loses
in chaos yet

again. God retro-
actively moving
the fence

as you celebrate
victory, opposite

outfielder snags
your drive, they win.

Well, call it what
you will. Fence moves.

Count the planks and
check for warp. An-
alyze composition of
the wood. Important to

have something to do which
also moves the fence
as it moves itself.

The Universe Is Random

Some say.
It may be so

random, it’s ordered.
Like baseball, after

you hit the winning
homerun, team loses
in chaos yet

again. God retro-
actively moving
the fence

as you celebrate
victory, opposite

outfielder snags
your drive, they win.

Well, call it what
you will. Fence moves.

Count the planks and
check for warp. An-
alyze composition of
the wood. Important to

have something to do which
also moves the fence
as it moves itself.

Chronicles of Vegas

Arrest Hitler
quotes. Nasty shit
& then the slug

line -Adolf Hitler. Re-
sembling OUR leaders’
words: That’s the joker.

Big deal! Let’s be-
lay the HISTORY
schtick. A bag in
an abandoned station.

Who needs old hat in
comic, if murderous,

assholes? We got
among us state
of the art!

For Nuremberg I propose
Las Vegas. T&A sleaze.

Perfumed crotches
& poisonous buffets,

plus “shows” headlined
by zombie hasbeens.

& what’s easier to
fathom than everything

for sale? Air a shaking
foil of dollar signs.

& so hot the dump-
sters really stink.
Immediate & American.

The man exposed himself

verbally to another
man, who, knowing Truth,
led him to renounce all

previous & get whole
hog for God. Went there-

after ‘round with benign
¼ smiles, once belt-

ing his wife for her
interest. She fell back

into the ranks, a soldier
for Christ. The Good News
bears propagation as a form

exalting the Female
as conscientious
diplomat.

Building America On #8 Green

/Listen and don’t be a fool. I can get a gang of spicks to do the work for half.

//Then somebody’ll move to unionize the project.

/Hey! Done in two weeks! Guaranteed. Union can’t get traction that fast.

//Well, I do have some sympathy. My ancestors were humiliated by “No Irish Need Apply” signs.

/There you go! Be a real patriot! Pay the gouging Yankees back!

//To the spicks, I’m the gouging Yankee.

/Not so! Believe me, they’re smart enough to shut their mouths–-except to sing in Spanish.

//And what if immigration agents come round?

/Totally remote. But I’ll be there all the time to take care of anything that comes up.

//Ah hah! Your fee on top of...

/All-inclusive. One-stop shopping.

//Let’s hurry and putt out. Some foursome of drunks coming to the tee. Hear them?

/Captains of Industry in the loose mode.

//You have a sense of humor. I’m amazed.

/We don’t have time. I can have full component onsite tomorrow. Work till they drop.

//I don’t know...still worried about morality of...

/Hey! That’s what you got confession for. I’m pushing the button.

//Okay.

Terrorism

/Hey, Baby! This is a horse we can fuckin’ ride!

//And it could be true, the danger. Real.

/Whatever.

//No, I mean it.

/I know. And that’s the beauty part! Bullshit? Truth? Win-win. John Q gets the livin’shit scared outa him either way.

//Something could still whack us.

/Nah. Fuckin’ heaven on earth!

Cable Co Ditches Directory Channel

for The Word. Preacher froth-
mouths down...finally,
choir spreads celestial butter.

Next,Preacher 2,of awful-
ly sweet faith. All of

it,passion-butter-sugar,aimed
at stanching queers & snuf-
fing ragtops & abortion sluts.

What would Jesus do? Why,act Re-
publican,usher moneychangers back
into the temple. Actually,

much of New Testament needs
revision: reason for 2d Coming.

New-infused scribes’ll get it
Right: Christianity is Capitalism.

Cheated

After the Cocaine
& DUIs, the sitting

bruised & soiled in
tanktown jails,

the judge can always find
paths to community service,

which you show once or twice for.
(Boys will, again, be etc.)

He avoids, thereby, embarrassment
when meeting you or parents
at the Club. Thus, in Tragic

America, The Rich remain bereft
of cleansing shame.

Turf Wars

We are dead be-
cause A
wouldn't talk

to B, in order
to thwart any

elevation of
pushy C.

The Meeting


In a former life I ran the political desk, empty when I wasn't there, of a string of shoppers published by a wealthy plumber. As silly as it sounds, I garnered a lot of readers and almost as many angry phone calls.

My comments were unabashedly Left, and I was frequently scolded by Max, the editor. For not being enough of a fire-breather! His own liberal passion had earned him a set of corroded and leaking pipes.

That's the background. Imagine my surprise...well don't then...when I was invited by a prominent Republican to a meeting to set out priorities and explain the movement that would shortly take over the government lock, stock, and barrel-ass. That sophomoric last, lame jab shows I can't help myself.

“But what do you want me for?”

“We want you to try to understand. Everything will take on our cast and soon! Come and listen. We have our professors too.
I want you to see an intellectual fiber under this change of power. An actual idealism.”

“I sincerely doubt that, but I'll come.”

And became completely surprised at thoughtful speeches and discussions.

My eventual copy for the papers? Even-handed. But Max's headline asserted GREED FINDS ITS PHILOSOPHERS.

Back to the confab, and my finally being asked to leave.
“At the end, however gratifying your presence has been,
there's always nuts and bolts. I'm sure you understand.”

I departed to a universal smile. Reminded me of an especially friendly church.

Down the stairs to the exit, deafened by one screaming man who was answered again and again by the whole assembly. That urinous stairway rang and shook with this cheerleading. Nothing wrong with rallying the troops.

Years later I met my host and asked him about it.

“Well one guy stood up and shrieked repeatedly “What'll we fuckin' do NOW?”

“The response?”

“Steal, Baby, steal!”

“That's been the mantra all right.”

“Out of power a long time, so a lot got pent up.
Therefore, we party theoreticians have been overwhelmed. But we're coming back. Returning things to a moral basis.”

“I don't buy that. My old editor wouldn't give you guys a millimeter! And God, or Marx, rest his soul, he's been vindicated.”

“That's a short-term word.”

“You're losing this next time. Could be a nadir
for Republicans!”

“We'll be back. Without the zealots and thieves.”

“How can you tell them apart?”

“Academic. We're planning strategy now and you'd be a fool not to feel the menace!”

“Impotence, you mean.“

“We accept that as starting point. Won't run around like you guys did for so long. Fire in the convent!”

“Hey! Experts say cycles. Invite me again when you have your next triumphalist meeting. But I'll need help getting up the stairs with my walker.”

“Gloating helped to do us in. Good luck.” Though Max would never have, I gave him the last word.

There once was a girl from MaDRAS!

who had a magnificent…
way of speaking. Thus did we
Soda Fountain Lotharios

of Ames, Iowa hop past
the limits of heartland sin,

teasing the old limerick as
girl-circles giggled.

Any verbal-further and
MOTHERS! ’d be apprised.
That was very then.

One halcyon day an Egyptian
‘ll drop by, exploding himself
all over the chrome fixtures.

There once was a girl from MaDRAS!

who had a magnificent…
way of speaking. Thus did we
Soda Fountain Lotharios

of Ames, Iowa hop past
the limits of heartland sin,

teasing the old limerick as
girl-circles giggled.

Any verbal-further and
MOTHERS! ’d be apprised.
That was very then.

One halcyon day an Egyptian
‘ll drop by, exploding himself
all over the chrome fixtures.

A Republican Congressman Appreciates

Oh dustups & popoffs!
Usual political strife,
but nice dems on-

board. For a laugh
or to have

your ass
wiped.

Female Triumvirate

When I hear
“nails-hair-shoes”

I’m bailing!
Sports easy topic

or small talk,but
Jesus H. Christ!

Race stunts some
achieving,but no
one chooses it.

Bright little girls
are not free either.

Pushed to con-
sumer ghettos,Sex

of Shopping
Acolytes.

Join a corrupt organization

becoming,thus,corrupted.
No! Change,inevitable,&

institutionalized soon
by you! Starting,
just starting!

with the type
of paperclips!

Played By the Rules,Always

But a monster screw
has proved too much,

and he speaks up
to the Big Guy at

a chance meeting.
"Don't worry. I'll
take care of it." Too

simple,and our hero
queasies. Sensing that:

"Hey! Just doing my job. If
you kick in to the party,
fine. If you don't,fine.

"And stop worrying about everything!
Not a black-white world. Adjusments
can be negotiated. Politics is not
the pits,but the highest good!"

Fleeing to his car while migrant
clouds of sulphur dog him.

The New Deal


Whoa! Let's have some relative calm. Now come on! Mostly good news,so listen!

Your jobs have been outsourced to us,but we intend to keep you all. We've researched each and every one of you. Impressive!

So,nothing changes! You even report to work in the same place. And we're going to get into some aggressive hiring soon. Big future here,believe me!

So,nothing to worry about. Now,questions?

Please! I couldn't hear! Oh! Okay. I got it. Do you get to keep your same pay and benefits?

You're the one they call the comedian, right?

Doris has a door-wide dress

& David,kissy-huggy.
Breakfast & so,time
for “discussion.” His

resolve vs her wiles.
I stop there,but
vignette of asshole

behavior then & we're
signing as extras now.